Ideas in the Wild: How Carrington Smith Is Helping Us Dig Into Life’s Messes to Find What We Need To Grow
Carrington Smith spent a lifetime trying to be someone else — to fit in, to be loved, to keep the peace, and to make others happy. Until finally, Carrington discovered that her own path to happiness wasn’t based on fitting in but on standing out.
In other words: celebrating her uniqueness and owning her past.
Candid and raw, Carrington’s new book Blooming takes readers on a treasure hunt to discover the gifts in the shit. From trauma to triumph, through the depths of sexual assault, religious brainwashing, family rejection, body dysmorphia, mid-life metamorphosis, physical scarring, and death into happiness, forgiveness, empathy, purpose, belonging, and joy, Blooming is a poignant, powerful account of finding our way through the shit.
I recently caught up with Carrington to learn more about her journey to writing this book.
What happened that made you decide to write the book? What was the exact moment when you realized these ideas needed to get out there?
This book was birthed during the pandemic. During the shitstorm of a lifetime, I felt compelled to share how life has taught me to view times like these as full of growth and opportunity.
You see, shit is quite literally fertilizer. It provides the nutrients needed for life to flourish and grow. It is in life’s messes, the failures, the difficulties — the shit — that we find what we need to grow and bloom into our greatness. As I write, millions of people have lost their jobs because of the pandemic. Hundreds of thousands have lost their lives. Everywhere people are struggling with the existential questions: Do I matter? Without a job, what do I base my self-worth on? If I die tomorrow, what will I be remembered for?
Over the twenty years of my career as an executive search professional, I’ve interviewed thousands of candidates. I’ve been blessed with an incredible track record. Most candidates stay in their jobs for years and regularly get promoted. What’s the secret sauce?
I focus on character and values. My favorite question to ask to understand who someone is and what they value is: “We all have moments that define us; can you tell me about a moment that shaped you and how?” The answers to this question tell me more about a candidate than almost any other. Based on their answers, I discover things like:
Emotional resilience, authenticity, grit, courage, empathy, persistence, wisdom, creativity, integrity, curiosity, passion, self-discipline, perseverance, resourcefulness, reframing, hope, leadership, collaboration, positive attitude, strategic thinking, and problem-solving.
For years, I’ve lived in fear that someone would turn the question around on me. How would I answer? There have been so many defining moments — many of them raw and ugly. But, after decades of prying into the lives of others, I needed to uncover the answer for myself. Life-altering events, like a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, have a way of pushing you to face those deep truths. This book is my answer to that question.
Thank you to the individuals who have trusted me with their stories. I honor you and your courage to share them with me. To those of you pondering these existential questions, it is my hope that by sharing my story, it will help you to discover your gifts.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned going through the journey you share in the book?
The biggest lesson I learned is that mindset is everything. How we perceive an event will determine the outcome. Life is a long roller coaster ride: we can throw up our hands in glee and enjoy the ride or scream in terror. it’s our choice. I choose to see opportunity in adversity.
How will you apply this lesson in your life moving forward?
Quite simple: mindset is a muscle.
The more we train ourselves to find humor, adventure, opportunity in adversity, the easier and more quickly we move through the difficulties of life. That is not to diminish those experiences but rather to claim them as our own and use them to propel us through life.
