Ideas in the Wild: Emilio Diez Barroso On How To Uncover Our Inherent Capacity for Bliss

Have we forgotten about being happy in our pursuit of happiness? We have been well trained to go after what we want, but are we missing out on life by always focusing on some future event?

In The Mystery of You, Emilio Diez Barroso invites us to uncover a peace untouched by the happenings of life and encourages us to discover who we are beyond our familiar identities and roles. He grounds the awakening that was once reserved for monasteries into the nitty-gritty of everyday parenting and business.

Emilio shows us how to stop perpetuating our own suffering and, instead, claim our inherent capacity to experience the bliss of being fully alive. I recently caught up with Emilio to learn more about why he wrote the book and the ideas he shares with readers.

Why did you write this book?

From an early age, I was taught what things were and my place in the world. My open and curious mind began closing down and subscribing to beliefs and conclusions about everything. In trying to make sense out of the world, a little of that awe and creativity got replaced by a desire to conform.

Somewhere deep down, however, I sensed there was a deeper meaning to all of it. What was nudging me, and I believe is calling all of us, is what gives birth to those sporadic existential questions of existence — the kind of questions you ask while looking up at the stars and that, if you’re anything like me, you eventually dismiss in order to come back to “reality.”

Most of us have trained ourselves to turn back from that deep existential inquiry because the enormity and mystery of it can be overwhelming. Somewhere in there, however, there is a part of us that’s ready to embark on that adventure, the one that takes us down the rabbit hole that will challenge everything we take for granted.

There’s another part of us, however, that is very scared. We can call that part the ego. It’s not a bad guy; it’s simply deeply invested in control and very committed to what’s known.

This book is a bit of a roadmap. It’s not a roadmap that will give you the answers, but rather one that will help you navigate the inner dynamics of both of those parts. The treasure to be discovered if you take this journey with me is an awakening of your capacity to live from a completely new orientation of being.

What’s an idea you share that really excites you?

Most of us have become conditioned to think that we need to find that one job that we love so much that it just naturally makes us happy. We mistakenly believe something out there, outside of ourselves, will bring about a sense of fulfillment. The underlying belief is that there is a unique purpose “out there” somewhere that will make our existence worthwhile.

When we buy into this notion, we start to think that if we aren’t doing the thing that fulfills that outer purpose (whatever it may be), we are wasting our life. We think what we do needs to have a specific external effect, and that effect or result will determine our value. However, this isn’t true — and when we embrace this viewpoint, we outsource our well-being.

There is a better way. I often encourage people to think of purpose in terms of “how” and let the “what” follow. I invite them to examine how they want to show up in the world at any given moment. Aside from your actions and their external effects, what does “living with purpose” mean to you? What are the inner characteristics or feelings you experience when you believe you are fulfilling your purpose?

Spend some time reflecting on these questions. You may want to journal what comes up for you, or spend time quietly considering your answers. By connecting with these qualities, you can “insource” your sense of value and take ownership for how you show up, both in the world and for yourself. You can experience that resolve and purposefulness directly, without conditions or intermediaries.

When we operate from our core values, we come into alignment with our being’s unique expression independently of the work we do or what the results might be. Ultimately, by breaking free from the habitual patterns of suffering, the things we have become so accustomed to, we can reclaim our innate capacity to be “on purpose” and as a result be happier and more impactful in the world.

How will following your advice improve your readers’ lives?

We were never taught that suffering was optional. We were never taught that peace was available even in the presence of the frailty of the human condition.

Through this book, you’ll learn to identify the source of suffering, and you’ll learn a framework for a way to end it. Together, we’ll explore how to update our genetically and culturally inherited operating system that restricts us to perceiving and experiencing ourselves and the world around us through the lens of separation and scarcity.

We can always count on life to mirror back whatever is unresolved inside of us. As you’ll learn in this book, though, these triggers — when approached from a larger context — can be an invitation for us to take responsibility for how we show up and can heal those deep-seated wounds.

When we do this, and when we learn to question some of our most cherished assumptions, we get to unwind the conditioned habits of resistance that create all our unnecessary stress and anxiety. Ultimately, we can then transform our mind as well as our emotional and physical body from centers of conflict into the greatest assets in our journey.