Ideas in the Wild: How Jennifer Crowley is Inspiring and Empowering Others to Create Change on Their Own Terms
Many of us feel stuck in a relationship, career, or another situation that isn’t serving us. We might be ready for change, but we doubt our strength, feel like we’re too old, or just don’t know how to change lanes. Jennifer Crowley wants to help us get unstuck so we can move forward.
She wrote Ever Wish You Got Hit by a Truck? to be a step-by-step guide that will inspire readers to action and empower them to bring change on their own terms. I recently caught up with Jennifer to learn what inspired her to write the book and the biggest lesson she learned.
What happened that made you decide to write the book? What was the exact moment when you realized these ideas needed to get out there?
I started a life coach certification course in mid-March 2020, just as COVID was setting in. I was coaching within a month and began attracting women to work with that are very much like me and suffer with some of the same things I do.
Many of these women were too busy taking care of everything else around them, and they just weren’t taking care of themselves. I began suggesting that they find time to exercise, meditate, and connect with their inner voice along with other practices I had learned during my own struggles. I knew pretty quickly that I needed a more organized way to share those practices, to demystify some of them, and break them down so they could be easily learned and put into use.
At the same time, I began writing copy for my website and it opened up something in me. Separately, I started writing a cathartic, twisted mess of the things I had contended with since I was a child, along with what I had gone through in my 30’s and 40’s. Needing to share the tools I was teaching in a better framework and wanting to share my story to inspire other women collided on July 9th. I woke up, told my boyfriend I was going to write a book, and then did it.
The women I was coaching were grateful to hear my story, and they seemed to gather strength from it. But I had to overcome a hefty dose of anxiety (that I’ve been masking since I was a kid) and my at times crippling perfectionist tendencies to make the decision to really put myself out there by writing and sharing my story in this book.
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned going through the journey you share in the book?
We can’t wait for our lives to be perfect to let the world see us, and that includes our closest friends and family. We need to ditch our mask or the suit of armor we wear each day that hides, and seemingly protects, who we really are or what we’re feeling on the inside.
I walled myself off from everyone and stayed stuck in my own unhappiness as my marriage began to fall apart and my insecurities preyed upon me. I stuffed down the hurt and broken parts of myself and pretended to be a pillar of strength, but I wasn’t. I kept everyone at arm’s length, and that disconnect kept me from receiving the love and support that would have helped me more easily move through the most difficult years of my life.
It’s refreshing and personally powerful to show up exactly as I am each day and know that I have a group of loving and caring people I can lean on when I need to. I know now that accepting support does not mean that I’m weak, and that admitting when I feel weak actually makes me stronger.
I’ve forgiven myself for being human and not being perfect, and that alone has changed my life. By openly sharing my journey and the mistakes I made, I’ve made real and honest connections with so many amazing women and men over the past year. By bravely exposing my weaknesses, and making myself vulnerable, I’m encouraging others to do the same.
How will you apply this lesson in your life moving forward?
I had to apply this lesson as I wrote this book, to get its message to the women who need it most. I started by creating my website, with honest statements about who I am and what I’ve been through. Having my picture taken has always made me feel exposed, but I needed to have my first headshot taken (ever). Telling the photographer how uneasy I felt beforehand was freeing and I feel like the warmth and care of the person I am was able to come through because I wasn’t trying to hide.
A year ago, if someone would have said that I’d be doing podcasts, I would have told them they were crazy. Now, I’m happy to push through my fears and I’ve loosened up on my need for things to be perfect, so I can record honest conversations with people from all over the US, and soon (this week!) the UK. I’ve found that when I speak from my heart, the right words come.
Moving forward, I want that lesson learned to give me the strength to get up in front of other women and inspire them to make changes. Speaking to larger groups may seem like a natural progression for most, but for someone like me, who has secretly struggled with low self-esteem, it’s a huge hurdle to overcome and I will do it. I am forever changed by this experience, and I’m not missing an opportunity to speak my truth so I can help others.
I know that what I’ve written can empower women to change their lives and it’s my responsibility to stand in front of them, without my mask or suit of armor, to get the message to them. I’m ready to be seen. And heard.
