Impactful Communication: Sara Lohse Of Favorite Daughter Media On 5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator

An Interview With Athalia Monae

Athalia Monae
Authority Magazine
20 min readNov 9, 2023

--

Don’t try to fake an experience just because you think it will be impactful.

In an age dominated by digital communication, the power of articulate and effective verbal communication cannot be understated. Whether it’s delivering a keynote address, leading a team meeting, or engaging in a one-on-one conversation, impactful speaking can open doors, inspire change, and create lasting impressions. But what truly sets apart an effective communicator? What techniques and nuances elevate a speech from mundane to memorable? As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Sara Lohse.

Sara Lohse is the founder and president of Favorite Daughter Media, a creative agency dedicated to helping mission-driven businesses and entrepreneurs use their outside voices. By leveraging the connective power of storytelling, Sara can help you transform your passion into a platform for thought leadership, position yourself as a subject matter expert, and reach an audience with a message that resonates.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about communication, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

My career path has been a winding road.

I have bachelor’s degrees in psychology and mass communications from Towson University. Right out of college, I started in the marketing industry in the creative department of an advertising agency, writing and developing multimedia marketing campaigns and proving that even retirement communities can benefit from a well-placed pun.

After a few years, I switched from agency to in-house and became the director of marketing for a financial advising firm. I had very little interest or knowledge in finance, but that changed pretty quickly. I fell in love with personal finance and spreading financial literacy and began using my marketing budget to create free educational content around money.

I went back to school for a digital marketing strategy certification from Cornell and gained my Accredited Financial Counselor designation. I became the executive producer of a personal finance podcast and flew around the country to attend conferences, meet other creators, and learn everything I thought I already knew.

I learned so much about finance, marketing, and media, but one of the biggest realizations I had is that I am not a financial professional.

Don’t get me wrong, I can teach you about paying yourself first, hacking your HSA, and leaving a financial legacy until I’m blue in the face and you kindly remind me that you never asked, but that doesn’t make me a financial professional. It makes me a money nerd, sure. But not a financial professional.

I am a creator and a communicator at my core, and I could be doing more with my messy creator brain if I wasn’t tied to such a buttoned-up and regulated industry. I wanted to build my own brand that could work on projects that let me use more puns and silly words and laugh at myself and laugh with others.

I launched Favorite Daughter Media in 2022 as my creative outlet because after years of using just a smidgen of my creativity to help financial brands thrive, I wanted to see what I could do if I was set loose and allowed to truly be myself.

Now I launch podcasts for new and established brands, coach entrepreneurs on how they can become thought leaders, and consult with companies of all sizes on how they can incorporate more creative media into their marketing plans.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

I was not much of a communicator for a lot of my career. I got into podcast production when I started with a former employer, but I always wanted to stay behind the scenes.

That all changed in 2021.

I went to a conference called Podcast Movement in Nashville, Tennessee. It was my first conference and I attended by myself to represent the company and try to grow the podcast I produced for them.

One of the big financial podcasts, Stacking Benjamins, was also attending and I was committed to meeting the host, Joe, and getting Eric–the host of the show I produced–booked on the show.

When I finally met him, I gave a big pitch about Eric and how he’s an expert in all things financial planning and would be a great guest on Stacking Benjamins.

Joe patiently listened to me ramble, but when I was done, he explained, “I don’t need experts on my show. I need people with really cool stories.”

I had no idea how to respond to that. I don’t know Eric’s stories, and I didn’t think “I’m sure he has some!” would have been sufficient.

So instead, I offered up my own story in which I got a very embarrassing tattoo while on a solo trip to Europe. I expected to break the silence and make him laugh. I did not expect to be booked on his podcast to share that story with the world.

I also didn’t expect that experience to have such an impact on my career.

The tattoo story was one I would tell back when I used to bartend and a patron would be sitting alone looking bored. It would break the ice in a self-deprecating, “look how relatable I am, please tip me more” kind of way.

But when I told it on Stacking Benjamins, it was different. I learned during that conversation that even our silliest stories can have value if we tell them the right way. He guided me through my own story, shaping it to sound more like the life-changing experience it was, one that altered my mindset, improved my professional status, and inspired me to take more chances.

Rewriting my own story showed me that a story doesn’t have to be headline-worthy to be worth telling. I became a better storyteller, grew into my passion for thought leadership, and launched a company that changed my life.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

As a business owner, I push myself every day to act with authenticity, creativity, and integrity.

I spent three years working in the financial planning world. I learned more about retirement accounts than I ever thought I’d know, made a bigger impact on the industry than I’ve yet grasped, and found a passion for personal finance at 25 that 20-year-old me never saw coming.

But I also started to realize that I was not meant to be in that industry. I was constantly holding myself back from acting like me, worried that I wouldn’t be accepted in this industry that considers khaki pants and neutral-toned polo shirts to be a Casual Friday treat.

The industry was made of round holes, and I was trying to shave down my squared edges to fit the mold.

When I resigned and launched a business, I did so to give myself permission to be authentic. I wanted to be able to write in my own voice, throw puns into every paragraph, and use pink more than I use blue.

Leaning into who I am and leading with authenticity allowed me to not only build a business but build one that I am proud of and that feels like me.

And because of this, I was able to stop holding back my creative ideas that weren’t accepted in a highly regulated industry.

My creativity is something I’ve always been proud of, and being able to set it loose as a business owner has been freeing in more ways than I imagined.

And finally, integrity.

I run my business differently than many others, and a lot of “seasoned” business owners may think I’m foolish for it. That’s okay with me.

I decided the day I launched my company that I would be picky about who I would take on as a client. I won’t work with just anyone.

I am in the business of spreading messages and making voices heard. It may be cliche, but with this power comes responsibility.

I feel a great amount of responsibility to limit the messages I help spread to those that are positive, kind, and impactful in a way that aligns with my mission and values.

While this may seem extreme, I assure you that the bar is not hard to meet. When I say, “aligned with my mission and values,” I simply mean that they are trying to do something good.

I don’t spread messages of negativity or hate. I don’t insult or embarrass any person or group. I don’t spread misinformation or any “advice” that does not come from a reputable, licensed advisor.

If you are trying to spread a message that is helpful to someone who may hear it, I am happy to work with you.

Probably.

Another way my integrity comes into play is that I have turned down clients who would be better off spending their money elsewhere, even if they do have a message I support. I’d rather see them succeed without me than fail while I cushion my pockets.

I had an independent podcaster meet with me about managing her show, but she’d have had to take over the audio and video editing to afford my rates. I turned her down, connected her to an affordable editor who could handle the technical aspects, and offered to meet with her for a single session to teach her how to do the tasks that she would’ve hired me to do.

I believed in my heart that she would have a better show and more success if she focused the budget on the production side. She was visibly surprised and grateful for my honesty and still keeps up with me on social media and interacts with my content, which I take as a “thank you.” She’s doing fantastic.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s begin with a basic definition so that we are all on the same page. How would you define an “Effective Communicator?” What are the characteristics of an effective communicator?

This makes me think of one of my favorite quotes:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou

This perfectly sums up what I think an effective communicator is: someone who can make you feel.

Communication isn’t about the words that you say. It’s about the emotions, stories, and experiences behind your words.

To be an effective communicator, you need three traits: courage, passion, and authenticity.

Whether you’re communicating in person, virtually, or even in writing, it takes courage to speak up and share your ideas. You’re opening yourself up to criticism, offering your views that may not be widely accepted, and acknowledging when you make mistakes or don’t know an answer. You need to have the courage to speak up in a crowd and do it with authority.

When you’re speaking about something you’re passionate about, that passion becomes contagious. Inject your energy and enthusiasm into what you’re saying and those listening will mirror it back to you and be more engaged in what you’re presenting. You become more trustworthy and more persuasive when you illustrate your passion because it helps you speak with conviction.

Finally, authenticity is paramount. Communicating in a way that is genuine and true to yourself will make you more effective because it builds trust and credibility. When you show your authentic self, you acknowledge your imperfections, highlight your uniqueness, and you build connections with your audience that will make them want to see you succeed.

How can one tailor their communication style to different audiences or situations?

When it comes to the audience, start with doing your homework.

First, where are you speaking? First impressions matter, so dress for the occasion. Don’t show up to a casual meeting in a tuxedo because it comes off as a strange powerplay. Don’t go to a gala in your favorite pair of jeans. Wear clothes that make you feel like yourself and confident, while also respecting the environment that you’re in.

Second, who are you speaking to? I mean this in two different ways.

Does your audience know your topic or are you introducing new concepts? The way you speak to beginners can be different than the way you speak to those with experience. You can skip the basics, explain less, and use industry terms that they’d be familiar with. If they’re new to your topic, never assume any piece of information is already known. Start from the beginning, explain simply, and let them know you’re happy to answer questions.

Then consider what the audience does. One of the ways I prepare to speak to different audiences is by researching their industry at length. Now, this isn’t so I can slip in jargon and pretend I am more familiar with their line of work than I am. It’s so I can relate the concepts to their work, so it makes sense in a real-world context.

And so I can throw in specialized puns that will get the laugh and/or groan that I am looking for. But that’s just me.

Looking at the situation, this will be more about your tone and body language. You have to speak in a way that aligns with the emotions of the situation. You don’t deliver a eulogy the same way you deliver your findings from a research project.

If your topic is emotional, lead with that emotion. Leave pauses after powerful statements so that they can marinate. If your topic is casual, don’t stand rigidly behind a podium. Walk around the stage, engage with the audience, and don’t be afraid to laugh at your own jokes.

Can you provide an example of a time when you had to adapt your communication style to reach a particular audience successfully?

I’ve spoken on so many different stages or podcasts to audiences in every industry or from every background. I’ve noticed two things about myself relevant to this question.

First, I don’t change for my audience. This is a more conscious decision I made after years of feeling forced to act like someone else. Whether I’m speaking to a group of college interns or a room of executives, I want you to connect with me as I am. I don’t want to trick someone into supporting or wanting to work with me only for them to realize later that it was a facade. If you want to work with me, it’s because you want to work with ME.

Second is the part I do change: where I put the focus. I am a big supporter of communicating via storytelling but depending on my audience I’ll rely more on one or the other. If I am in a room filled with more creative-minded individuals, I push the stories further. The data, the results, and the numbers are sprinkled in, but it’s the stories that capture their attention.

When it’s more logic-driven personalities, I push the information more. I still use stories, but they’re more of the whipped cream on top of the data sundae, rather than the ice cream.

The types of stories I tell also change.

For creatives, I tell the stories that highlight my “why” for doing what I do, my underdog stories that make them root for my success, and the milestone stories that celebrate wins I’ve had and highlight my experience.

For logical minds, I focus more on case studies that show specific ways I’ve added value to clients’ lives or discoveries I’ve made through different processes.

Understand what your audience hopes to get from you, but always present it in your own authentic voice.

How do you handle difficult or sensitive conversations while maintaining open and effective communication?

This can be incredibly difficult, but I’ve found three things that really help me.

First, you need to truly understand both the topic and you. How do you feel about it? Why do you feel that way? Do you understand the other side of the argument? What impact does this topic have on you?

Emotional intelligence is so important here because it helps you deliver your message with empathy and compassion.

Second, be willing to change your mind. Listen to the other side of the argument carefully and admit if you’re wrong. Don’t die on the wrong hill just to save face.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, remember that a conversation, debate, or even an argument is always you and the other person vs. the issue, not you vs. the other person. Focus on facts and experiences and stories that support your viewpoint and don’t lower yourself to attacking the other person.

In your experience, how does storytelling play a role in impactful speaking? Why do you think stories are effective in communication?

This is my favorite question.

Storytelling has been part of our culture since the beginning of time, and there’s been so much research into the ways our brains respond to stories–from releasing oxytocin and dopamine to triggering neural coupling and emotional memories. I am not a scientist, so I’ll summarize that by simply saying our brains are naturally wired to engage with stories.

When we’re communicating with an audience, it’s usually because we’re trying to position ourselves as experts and authorities in our subject matter. We need to communicate information and knowledge to prove we know what we’re doing, but we also want to hold the audience’s attention. Information simply isn’t enough.

We’re not living in an information desert. Nobody is relying on you to tell them about the stock market or business strategy or Newton’s law of motion. They can just pull their phone out, Google it, and have access to more information than they’ll ever actually read.

If we want to gain (and keep) attention, we need to share what can’t be Googled: our stories.

Stories are also the easiest way to connect with our audience. The essence of human connection lies in shared experiences, so by telling stories of what we’ve been through, we’re inviting people to connect with us on personal levels.

Connections lead to trust.

Plus, not only can our stories not be Googled, but they also can’t be disproven. We’re living in an age of Internet Trolls and there is always a keyboard warrior ready to cut down everything you’ve said. But if you’ve shared your stories and are speaking from experience–saying “here is what I’ve found works best” instead of “this is the answer” — there’s no arguing against it.

What are your “5 Essential Techniques for Becoming an Effective Communicator”?

1. Be Authentic

I’ve already said it and I’ll say it again. Authenticity is the most vital piece of being a good communicator. It builds trust, makes you unique, and helps you connect with your audience.

What I haven’t yet touched on is the flip side of authenticity: forced vulnerability. Because of the 24-hour news cycle world we live in, people seem to think that they need a traumatic, dramatic, or sensational story in order to be heard.

Instead of telling their real stories and finding value in actual experiences, they manufacture vulnerable moments. People see through this.

I always think of American Idol and how every contestant shares a sob story to connect with the audience and win votes, but most of them feel so disingenuous.

Don’t try to fake an experience just because you think it will be impactful.

Your story doesn’t have to be big or earth-shattering to be impactful. That’s really the point.

Your story simply has to be told in a way that is honest, authentic, and shares who you are and what you’ve experienced.

2. Share Ups and Downs

Nobody wants to listen to the person who got everything right the first time. Sharing the challenges you’ve faced, the mistakes you’ve made, and how you’ve overcome them makes you more relatable.

It’s the candidness that resonates with people. It says that the path to success isn’t just filled with rosy moments, and that’s okay. If you can trust someone to be honest about their failures, you’re more likely to trust their advice on achieving success.

I’ve been a mentor for several young professionals who want to explore the podcasting or marketing industries. They come to me because I’ve found some level of success and want to know how I did it. If I were to only share the highlights, what would that do for them?

I tell them that at 24 I moved across the country to a state I had never been to and where I knew nobody for a job that fired me less than six months later. I tell them how what was once a devastating failure opened me to new opportunities that were better than any I had lost.

Sharing stories like this, the ones that show struggles and how we overcome them, make people want to listen to us. Nobody hears the stories of overnight successes that never stumbled and think, “wow, they’re just like me.” But when we talk about our failures, we’re saying “I get you. I’ve been there.” That builds a bridge connecting you with your listeners and gets them to not just listen to what you say but feel it.

3. Be Consistent

Generally, when I talk about effective communication, it’s for the purpose of thought leadership. When becoming a thought leader, you need to be consistent with your message.

Every time you speak on a platform, it should reinforce the same core message. When I’m on a stage, a podcast, or a webinar, I’m always going to be talking about thought leadership in some way. My podcast is about building a strong personal brand so you can be an impactful thought leader. I go on podcasts to talk about being a great podcast guest so you can build an audience. I write about developing our stories so we can connect with an audience.

Is that the only thing I know about? Of course not. I could talk about creating a budget or setting up a Facebook ad or decorating a home office or why the Oxford comma is not nor should ever be optional. I know plenty about a range of topics.

But by consistently talking about the same core message, people begin to associate you with that topic, look to you as an expert on it, and trust your insights. Because I am always talking about the same thing, I am who people turn to when they need to know about it or need a speaker or guest on the topic.

4. Know How to Tell a Story

I’ve talked about why storytelling is so important, but it’s just as important to know how to tell a story in a way that is compelling and engages your audience.

Even the best story will lose its impact if told in monotone while staring at your feet.

My favorite storytelling technique is what I refer to as the “I bet you’re wondering how I got here” method. It’s like storytelling in reverse. Instead of the traditional way of slowly building to the punch, you open with it. You start with the big twist and then go on to tell the story that leads to the ending you’ve already revealed.

I did this with my tattoo story. He already knew what happened, so he wanted to know how.

Have you ever read a mystery novel or watched a suspenseful movie? Your brain is always trying to jump ahead and figure out what comes next. If I tell you from the beginning how the story ends, you can stay engaged in real time instead of trying to predict the future.

5. Engage with Listeners

Have a conversation, not a monologue. Effective communication means your listener is also communicating with you.

Ask questions, listen to feedback, welcome other perspectives and stories.

Being an active listener when others are speaking will make you a better speaker, so give others the opportunity to speak whenever you can. Nobody wants to sit through a lecture.

How do you integrate non-verbal cues into your communication? Can you provide an example of its importance?

So much about communication is non-verbal.

There are the obvious ones that everyone talks about, like making eye contact, having good posture, and remembering to smile.

But I’ve learned a few that may be less obvious:

When you’re on a stage, assign an emotion to each side. When you’re giving an example of something you want the audience to disagree with, walk to the left and stand on that side of the stage. When you’re giving a good example that you want their support for, walk to the right and stand there. If you continue doing this throughout, each time you stand on the left the audience will be primed to disagree with or be upset about what you say. When you stand on the right, they’ll be more excited and more likely to agree. This can be very powerful when you’re trying to persuade an audience or get them on board with a new perspective.

People always say to “command” or “explore” the stage, which I agree with. But try to spend more time towards the front of the stage (without falling off. Be careful). By decreasing the space between you and your audience, you’re making them feel closer to you (literally and figuratively). The proximity creates an environment of collaboration and engagement, while staying farther away makes you seem more detached.

And use pauses to your advantage. I was raised in New York so naturally I’ve been told I speak too fast my entire life. Not only do I make myself slow down, I also make myself stop all together. Pause before a punchline or to build suspense. Pause after a great point so it has time to marinate.

How has digital communication changed the way you convey your messages? Are there any specific challenges or advantages you’ve encountered?

Being 28, digital communication is basically all I know. It’s been here my whole life.

When I started in the advertising industry, I did work with traditional media–print ads, billboards, even radio ads. The problem I found was how impersonal it was. How can I write an impactful billboard headline when all I know about the audience is they are “commuters on I-95?”

It was a one-way conversation without space for feedback or interaction. I think the goal of communication should be building communities and connections. That’s why I fell in love with podcasting.

Podcasting is unique because it creates a feeling of intimacy between the host and the listener. You hear them in your headphones and it’s like they’re talking to you. Voices can express so much emotion and authenticity, you start to feel like you know the host on a personal level.

Great podcasts have online communities of listeners who trust the host and feel a bond with them. Plus, the topics are often so niche it gives people with unique interests a place where they fit in.

I think digital communication–whether it’s podcasting, social media, or blogs–really centers around storytelling and personal interactions in a way that other media just couldn’t, and it makes forming connections and building trust far easier.

Public speaking is a common fear. What techniques or strategies do you recommend to manage and overcome stage fright?

We need to understand where the fear is coming from.

For me, it usually stems from imposter syndrome. I’m sure nearly everyone can relate to that as well. We’ve all felt like we weren’t worthy of the stage we’re on, or that we’re too young or too inexperienced or too something.

When we understand and can put a name to the feelings we’re having, we can stop them. Remind yourself of your accomplishments and why you were given the platform you have. Acknowledge and value your own experiences until you convince yourself that you belong.

We are always our worst critics, so just starting to be kinder to ourselves will make a difference.

Put yourself in the audience’s shoes. When you go see a speaker, are you waiting for them to prove they belong on the stage? Or are you listening and ready to learn from them? If we can start treating ourselves the way we treat others, we may be more comfortable and confident.

We can also start small. Don’t apply for a TEDx Talk if you’ve never given a presentation before. Start with online webinars that you can give from the comfort of your own office. Ease onto stages through panels rather than solo presentations.

If we take the time to get comfortable, we’ll build up our confidence and be able to speak with more authority.

I didn’t listen to my own advice and went straight into speaking solo at conferences. I would be in panic mode for weeks leading up to it and nearly in tears the day of. I just recently was on my first ever panel and WOW. I had so much less anxiety and felt far more comfortable and articulate just because I had others on stage with me.

What additional resources do you recommend for individuals looking to improve communication skills?

Learn from others. If you want to be a great writer, read more books by authors you admire. If you want to be a great podcaster, listen to great podcasts. If you want to be a great public speaker, watch people who are great at delivering their messages–Ted Talks, standup comedians, commencement speakers, Best Man/Maid of Honor speeches.

And practice. Start a blog. Host a virtual event. Start or guest on a podcast. Give a toast at your next family dinner. Whatever small or big step you can take to practice communicating will move you forward.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

So many of the world’s problems could be solved if people took the time to be kind–whether that’s to other people, to animals, to the planet, or even to themselves.

If I could start a movement, it would be for everyone to commit one act of kindness every single day.

How can our readers further follow you online?

My website is www.favoritedaughtermedia.com and my social media links are:

https://www.facebook.com/favoritedaughtermedia

https://www.instagram.com/favoritedaughtermedia/

https://www.linkedin.com/company/favoritedaughtermedia/

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

--

--

Athalia Monae
Authority Magazine

Product creator, author, entrepreneur, Feed Our Starving Children advocate, Writer for Entrepreneur Media, & founder of Pouches By Alahta.