Influencer & Content Creator Brooke Carlock of Grieving Mommy Shares Her Top Selfcare, Wellness, and Beauty Tips
An Interview With Maria Angelova
I think a huge key to success is just being yourself. People can find grief information anywhere, but I hope that in me they see someone who has been there, is still hurting, but inspiring them to keep moving forward day by day. People tell me they binge my videos because they’re relatable — I’m putting things out there that many people feel, but not a lot of people say out loud.
At times it feels like wellness or elevating one’s well being, is diametrically opposed to high achievement and high performance in one’s career. The stress, mental energy, long hours, lack of restful sleep and preoccupation that result from a high-achievement life seem to directly inhibit wellness. And yet, in order to sustain the creativity, flexibility, mental acuity and resilience that are necessary for high performance, wellness and wellbeing of the mind, body and soul are also mandatory. So how do we achieve both? This is the question I’m hoping to answer through conversations with high-achieving leaders and influencers who are practicing their own philosophies about how to maintain their wellbeing.
As a part of our series about “Social Media Influencers Share Their Top Self Care, Wellness, and Beauty Tips, I had the pleasure of interviewing Brooke Carlock.
Brooke Carlock is an educator, writer, coach and social media and YouTube personality. After suffering through a series of momentous deaths, including that of her 10 year-old daughter Libby, she began a mission to normalize grief and help others navigate the grieving process through her brand Grieving Mommy. She is also the founder of LiveLikeLibby.org, a charity created to honor her daughter’s life by providing scholarships to dancers in financial need.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory of how you came upon this career path and to where you are today?
I had been an 8th grade English teacher for 20 years and had always gravitated towards the Psychology courses, focusing my post-graduate work on Human Development and Learning. I also spent many years as a freelance writer, working for different magazines and the Television Academy website. My sister died when I was 24, and then I lost a cousin and a sister-in-law, so I became very acquainted with grief. Then, in a horrific span of only 4 months, I lost my father and stepmom, found out my mom had pancreatic cancer, and then lost my beautiful 10 year-old daughter, Libby, in a car accident. My entire world shattered. At rock bottom, I enrolled myself in a day program at a mental hospital because I felt like I couldn’t go on. Having been a teacher my whole adult life, my natural instinct was to learn and share, so I created GrievingMommy.com to support and connect with other grievers. After receiving amazing feedback on my website, social media, and my YouTube channel, I decided to become a grief coach and use my experience to turn pain into purpose. I’m also currently writing a book to help fellow grievers.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
I can’t really thank anyone more than my daughter, Libby. Even though she was only 10 years old, she was my biggest supporter when it came to all things writing and social media. Anytime I found out I was going to be published, she was the first person I told. When she died, I heard so many stories from others about Libby’s kindness, support, and caring heart. I knew my daughter was remarkable, but I had no idea how many people she had impacted in her short life before I lost her. She was always my inspiration, but her loss gave me the motivation to spend my life helping others like she did.
Can you share a story with us about the most humorous mistake you made when you were first starting? What lesson or take-away did you learn from that?
I don’t know how funny it is, but my most embarrassing moment was when I opened my first virtual support group for grieving parents, and I was SO excited to actually have people enroll. I emailed the participants thanking them for participating, and I accidentally sent the email to everyone without blind copying the email addresses. I immediately started getting messages in my inbox asking me to please not share private emails with other group members. Lesson quickly learned!
As an influencer, you have been blessed with great success in a career path that many have attempted, but eventually gave up on. In fact, perhaps most people who tried to follow a career path like yours did not succeed. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path but know that their dreams might be dashed?
I feel like I’m just getting started! I’m still working on my goal of making a full-time income, but my growth in fanbase has been steady so I’m really excited. YouTube especially can be very time-consuming, but I feel like I’m gaining momentum because of a combination of posting consistently and providing educational value, while also being real and honest and raw and letting my personality shine through. It’s definitely disheartening to wake up and have no new followers, so my advice to others is to know that this path is a long haul. Find a routine you can stick with that’s not too overwhelming. Honestly, what keeps me going is that I actually really LOVE what I’m doing and I’m so motivated by the feedback from my audience. There’s nothing more encouraging than hearing from other grieving people that my content has helped them get through one of the most difficult times in their lives. So find your “why,” and keep that in the forefront of your mind.
Can you share with our readers some of the strategies you’ve used to build an engaged, loyal, and large online community?
I think a huge key to success is just being yourself. People can find grief information anywhere, but I hope that in me they see someone who has been there, is still hurting, but inspiring them to keep moving forward day by day. People tell me they binge my videos because they’re relatable — I’m putting things out there that many people feel, but not a lot of people say out loud. My blog posts are especially vulnerable because they’re more personal. I also use a variety of ways to reach different people, so I mix things up with long-form and short-form videos, blog posts, carousel posts, email newsletters, etc., with both personal and educational content. Most importantly, though, I make a point to connect with my followers personally as much as possible. These are real people with real pain and my number one goal is always to make them feel seen and offer any support that I can.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of our interview. In my work, I focus on how one can thrive and care for oneself in three areas: body, mind, and heart. You are a busy person with a demanding schedule, can you share with our readers two self-care routines, practices or treatments that help your body thrive? (Kindly share a story or an example for each.).
This might sound a little strange as far as self-care goes, but one of my most important routines in my day is making my morning drink. I have the same thing for breakfast literally every morning! It’s a mix of coffee or cappuccino with a chocolate protein shake, sugar free Cool Whip, and peppermint extract. I absolutely love it, and for some reason that simple routine is just very calming and a great way to start my day. The second practice I use quite frequently is box breathing. I have PTSD from my daughter’s accident, and when my thoughts run away with me, I close my eyes and imagine a box, and then trace around the box as I breathe in and out to the count of four. I’ve done this simple practice enough that it’s become very effective for reducing my heart rate and re-directing thoughts that don’t serve me.
Can you share with us two routines that you use to help your mind or heart to thrive? (Kindly share a story or example for each.)
About a year before my daughter died, I discovered ASMR on YouTube. I listened to it occasionally to help me relax before bed. However, after her death, I made it a routine. Typically, I will crawl into bed, dim my lights, spray some lavender spray, put in my headphones, and listen for about a half an hour before turning off my phone and going to sleep. This is my time for myself to help direct my thoughts to a calmer place.
The second routine that helps my heart to thrive is spending a half an hour each morning responding to comments on my YouTube and social channels. I know for many creators this might seem like “work,” but for me, it starts my day off knowing that I am providing help and encouragement to people who need it most. I truly enjoy getting to know the people in my community and appreciate when they take the time to tell me how much a particular post or video helped them on their grief journey.
Can you help articulate why self-care is so important for your mental wellness?
As a busy mom, I always pushed self-care to the back burner. I rarely ever did anything for myself. After experiencing so much loss, however, self-care just became a necessity, and I tell my audience the same thing. Grief REQUIRES self-care. The stress of profound loss affects the mind, body, and spirit, and those things must be intentionally tended.
Can you share five ideas that anyone can use “to feel beautiful”? (Please share a story or example for each.).
My tips are geared towards anyone dealing with grief, trauma, loss, or depression. If you’re experiencing any of these things, you need to go back to the basics. Feeling beautiful is probably at the bottom of your list, but doing small things can help boost your mood.
- Take a shower. This can seem like a herculean feat when you’re in deep grief, but a nice warm shower can make you feel 100% better.
- If you usually put on makeup, put it on. I remember feeling guilty about putting on makeup after Libby died. I wondered if people would judge me, like “Her daughter just died — why is she wearing lipstick?” I kept putting it on because it was MY normal routine, and sticking to that routine was crucial for my mental health.
- Help others. While you might not feel like doing this at first, serving others has been proven to gives people a huge happiness boost, which makes you feel like a beautiful person on the inside.
- Get out of pajamas — even if it’s just for a little while. Throwing on some nice jeans and a sweater can instantly boost your mood and make you feel like you’re a part of the real world again.
- See yourself through your lost loved one’s eyes. I’m sure whomever you’re grieving thought you were the most beautiful person in the world.
Is there a particular resource, a practitioner, expert, book, or podcast that made a significant impact on you and helped you to thrive? Can you share a story about that with us?
Oh my — there are so many! I would say that in my early grief, I was most inspired by author Dr. Lucy Hone’s TED Talk called “The three secrets of resilient people” and her book Resilient Grieving. Like me, Lucy’s daughter died in a car accident — but her approach to grief was so different than what I found in most places. She was filled with hope and convinced me that we can steer the course of our lives after a tragedy. I remember seeing her on the TED stage and promoting her book and thinking, “THAT’S what I want to do.” I’ve since taken courses with her and she’s amazing.
As a content creator and business owner, the experts I find invaluable are Nate from ChannelMakers, Rob from VidIQ, and Nick Nimmin on YouTube, and George Kao for business practices that keep me client-centered.
As an influencer, you are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
Ooooh, if I could dream big for a moment, I would take the charity I created in my daughter’s honor, called Live Like Libby, and spread her message worldwide! When she died, students at her elementary school and dance studio created chalk drawings outside their buildings. When I went to look at them, I kept seeing the phrase, “Live Like Libby.” It made me cry and smile at the same time. If you knew Libby, you immediately knew what it meant. Libby was one-of-a-kind. She lit up a room. She cared about everyone, and made everyone feel like they were the most important person in the world. She was the kid who invited the kids sitting alone to sit with her. The world would be an amazing place if more people lived like Libby. I would love to turn this message of kindness and acceptance and love into a program for school-aged kids to prevent bullying, although her message resonates with adults as well!
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world with whom you’d like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this. :-)
I would probably pick grief expert David Kessler. I was able to see him in action when I took his Grief Educator Certification program, and he is just an absolute master at what he does. He makes a very, very good living by helping others, so I would want to pick his brain about the best way to authentically grow, get my name out there, and create a brand without being “salesy” or giving up the heart of what I’m doing.
What is the best way our readers can follow you on social media?
My website is https://www.grievingmommy.com/ I’m on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/@grievingmommy, Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/grievingmommy/ , Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BrookeACarlock, LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/brookecarlocklobaugh/
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher, and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
