Inspirational Women Of the Speaking Circuit: Ellen Poole On The Five Things You Need To Be A Highly Effective Speaker
No speech ever goes perfectly, so don’t beat yourself up over mishaps. I’m a perfectionist, so this is a hard one for me. But, the audience doesn’t know how it’s SUPPOSED to go, they only know how it went. I’ve stepped off the stage highly dissatisfied with my own performance, only to have audience members rush up to me immediately and tell me I just changed their lives. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
As a part of our series about Inspirational Women of the Speaking Circuit, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Ellen Poole.
Ellen Poole is an attorney, government relations professional, and relationship architect with 20+ years of experience as a trade association CEO and government relations executive for a Fortune 100 company. Poole teaches people at all levels of their careers effective strategies to build networks and nurture relationships for professional success. Her audiences have included nationwide corporate teams and university students, in addition to local, national, and international professional and trade associations. Ellen is the author of “Network” Is Not a Verb.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up in a military family, moving from place to place — with Puerto Rico being my favorite place! My family wound up in Virginia, where my dad retired. Later, I went to college and majored in agriculture, with ambitions to become a veterinarian. Halfway through school, I realized that career was not for me, but I didn’t know what I DID want to do. (In fact, I was so directionless that I took my first job after college because it came with free food.) I eventually moved to Washington, DC, was encouraged by mentors to go to law school, and moved out to Arizona, where I had a successful 30+ year career in government relations. I like to share the story of my early years because I think so many young people today believe they must have their career paths fully mapped out by the time they’re 18, and that’s not true. As long as you excel in every job you have, it doesn’t matter what the job is — you can still progress professionally.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?
As I mentioned, I had a 30+ year career in government relations. My speaking career began when I was working as an executive at a Fortune 100 company in government relations, and because of my political connections, I was asked regularly to speak to various groups on the subject of networking. I am honored to say that my speeches were well-received, and one of my listeners suggested I write a book. When the pandemic hit, that’s what I did, and the book’s success is what launched my full-time speaking career.
Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?
I was invited to be the keynote speaker at a major national conference for an organization where I worked as an administrative assistant more than thirty years earlier. That early job wasn’t even in a field I was interested in, but I did my best there and as a result, developed meaningful professional relationships with people who helped and encouraged me even on a career path that took me elsewhere. Moral of the story: All relationships matter, and your performance at every job matters, even if you don’t realize it at the time. Don’t burn bridges!
Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I once paid a professional make-up artist to do my face in the morning for an afternoon photo shoot to get some professional pictures for my website. During the lunch break, I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and realized I was unrecognizable. I proceeded to wash it all off, put on my regular make-up, and go to the photo shoot, maybe less “beautiful” but certainly more comfortable and at ease. Lesson learned: Be yourself!
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful for who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
When I worked at the state capitol as a young committee analyst, there were three older gentlemen there who were highly respected senior lobbyists and very advanced in their careers (one later even became a U.S. ambassador). These successful men did not need to take an interest in a young senate employee, but they did. They offered me career advice and even recommended me for a prestigious association CEO job, which I got. If these gentlemen had wanted to associate only with their successful peers, I would not be where I am today. I write about this in my book; build your network with people who are different from you and at all different stages of their careers. These relationships can be so rewarding!
You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging and intimidating. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?
If you seek a career as a speaker who teaches others, REALLY know your subject matter. If you are the expert on your topic, others will want to learn from you. Also, recognize that failure can happen to ANYONE; it’s just that some people are daunted by that fact and others are not. None of the successful speakers you see out there had a guarantee of success when they started; they just pressed forward anyway. Work on developing the mindset of someone who presses forward anyway! To paraphrase a wonderful speaker I once heard, do your best at the 50 percent you can control; the other 50 percent is not up to you, so stop focusing on it.
What drives you to get up every day and give your talks? What is the main empowering message that you aim to share with the world?
I am very passionate about my subject matter, building professional networks, because I see so many well-intentioned people doing it WRONG. Also, there is so much bad advice out there about “networking,” and I see people following it and wasting time (and often money) on activities that will not help them build meaningful, authentic relationships. I want others to know what to do to have the rewarding, fulfilling, career-enhancing network I have had.
Can you share with our readers a few of your most important tips about how to be an effective and empowering speaker? Can you please share some examples or stories?
If you are a speaker whose goal is to teach your listeners how to improve something in their personal or professional lives, help your audience members understand specific actions they can take. We’ve all been in sessions where we enjoyed the speech or the remarks, but half an hour later we can’t identify anything we actually learned to DO to follow the guidance of the speaker and make improvements in our lives. For example, I often tell people to set aside a half hour on Fridays to follow up on interactions with people — send the article on Spain that you promised to the person with an upcoming vacation, email a status report on a project that’s not completed, text someone and say you enjoyed your lunch with them. My advice about building networks consists of much more than that, but I’ve been told often by listeners that they appreciate concrete actions to go along with my big-picture, inspirational advice.
As you know, many people are terrified of speaking in public. Can you give some of your advice about how to overcome this fear?
Yes, PRACTICE! One of the reasons that most people are nervous about public speaking is that they don’t do it very often. We ALL get nervous about doing well at things we do rarely. So, get as much real-life practice as you can, ANYWHERE you can. Seek out opportunities! A big part of my work throughout much of my career has been providing testimony in legislative committees multiple times a week. When I first started out I was always a little scared when I went to the podium, and I wasn’t very good at it. Doing it regularly, however, means I’ve gotten skilled, so now I don’t find it stressful anymore — it’s just another day at the office. Get used to public speaking, and you will get better and less nervous.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
First, don’t undervalue your services. It’s especially easy for women to put too low of a price on speaking engagements. We all want the work, and we worry that the potential client will choose someone else if we seem too expensive. Research and set your price objectively, and resist the urge to lowball.
Second, don’t overvalue your services. Speaking as the former CEO of a trade association with limited funds, the budget is the budget. If your price is too high, the client WILL go somewhere else, not because you’ve incorrectly valued yourself but because they can’t afford you.
Third, how to reconcile tips 1 and 2? Work with the client to see if you can come to an agreement that works for everyone. I just booked a speaking engagement where we reduced the amount of my fee by the fair market value of the videographer’s services. He was going to be there anyway for the client, but I reduced my fee in exchange for the opportunity to specifically direct some of his filmings to get some good video clips that I can use for MY purposes as well.
Fourth, sometimes people express interest in having you speak, but nothing ever comes of it. You can put in lots of time and effort working with a potential client, only to have them balk at the last minute. I had a several-month conversation with a potential trade association client, creating multiple proposals for them before they decided on a keynote speaker with a different topic. You’ll be a lot happier in life if you don’t take it personally, and who knows, they may need you someday for a different event. Stay gracious to keep future options open.
Last, no speech ever goes perfectly, so don’t beat yourself up over mishaps. I’m a perfectionist, so this is a hard one for me. But, the audience doesn’t know how it’s SUPPOSED to go, they only know how it went. I’ve stepped off the stage highly dissatisfied with my own performance, only to have audience members rush up to me immediately and tell me I just changed their lives. Don’t be too hard on yourself.
You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?
I’m preparing to speak to a women’s network, which is a first for me. My precepts about building networks work for everyone and anyone, and I’ve spoken to universities, corporations, and trade associations — but this will be my first time with an audience targeting women. I’m very excited about it, because early in my career I was one of the first women to lead a trade association in what was then a male-dominated field, and there was no career support aimed at women. I’m thrilled with the support women receive today from each other and the many organizations out there dedicated to helping us, and I can’t wait to be part of it! I hope to both inspire AND teach my audience and to gain more opportunities in this area.
Can you share with our readers any self-care routines, practices, or treatments that you do to help your body, mind, or heart to thrive? Please share a story for each one if you can.
Getting enough sleep, exercising, and avoiding sugar are things I do to stay at the top of my game. But, most importantly, I don’t worry. This is a skill that can be acquired, believe it or not. It takes a lot of unpleasant self-discipline — it’s so much easier to obsess about bad things that can happen — but you can force yourself not to dwell on potentially negative outcomes and think about something else instead. After you work on it for a while it becomes a habit, and it’s SO rewarding. Life is better without worry — I think people just don’t realize it’s something they can actually change.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
The quote is from Albert Einstein, and it’s “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” My publisher recommended I find a quote for the book’s introductory pages, and I discovered this perfect quote from a revered genius that encapsulates what my book is about and what my life philosophy has been. Now, I quote it all the time.
You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
A movement to urge people to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. I find that most people don’t make enough effort to understand how another person is thinking or feeling, what another person wants out of a situation or even out of life. We’re all so focused on our OWN success, how WE feel, and if WE are getting what we want. Yet, if we thought about what other people needed and wanted for even a minute, and tried to help them get it, the world would be a happier place. We would end up happy ourselves because other people would be doing the same for us.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
Yes, Carly Zakin and Danielle Weisberg, founders of The Skimm. I admire them tremendously for their genius in coming up with the idea for The Skimm, their dedicated work that made it wildly successful, and their commitment to now using their platform to promote women’s issues.
Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?
I have a website, ellenpoole.com. I’d love for each person reading this to visit to learn more about the subject matter I’m passionate about sharing with others. I’m also available to connect on LinkedIn.
This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!
