Jacqui Blue Of Beautiful Hypnosis-Births: 5 Things Everyone Should Know About Postpartum Depression

An Interview With Jake Frankel

Postpartum body dysmorphia is a real thing that is not talked about enough. A lot of times our postpartum bodies make us feel insecure and unattractive. I hear from a lot of clients that after giving birth, they feel the opposite of sexy and many are afraid their partners will cheat because they feel like after having a baby, their partners might not be attracted to them anymore. This is one of the more common things I hear regarding postpartum bodies from my clients, as well as read in online groups that I’m in. Our bodies are going through hormonal changes and adjustments during pregnancy and afterwards. Our bodies change shape. Our bodies are leaking. Our clothes don’t fit. Our babies are often clinging to us. And all of this affects us emotionally and mentally.

Postpartum depression affects millions of women worldwide, yet it remains a topic that is often misunderstood and stigmatized. Through this series, we aim to shed light on the various aspects of postpartum depression, including its symptoms, causes, treatment options, and the impact it has on individuals and families. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Jacqui Blue.

In 2011 Jacqui Blue was in an emotionally, mentally, and verbally abusive marriage. On Mother’s Day Eve 2011, the night she told her ex-husband she wanted a divorce, he tried to kill her. As she lay in a pool of her own blood, she thought to herself, “If I survive tonight, I am changing everything about my life and I’m going to pursue my dreams before I die.”

Several days later, Jacqui enrolled in a film program and put herself back through school, all while raising five little kids. A few years after that, she put herself through school again and studied the subconscious mind, becoming a hypnotherapist and mindset coach.

Now Jacqui makes documentary films, writes books, and helps people change their lives by changing their minds. As of March 2024, she is also now putting herself through school for a third time, pursuing clinical degrees in Psychology.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we begin, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I have been making art, writing poetry and short stories, playing with cameras, and have been interested in the human mind & behaviors since I was a child so it makes sense that my adult life and work would incorporate all of those things as well. I became a mom and wife in my early 20s. I was young and still had a lot to figure out and learn about life while I was raising young children. So when I found myself lying in a pool of my own blood because I said I wanted a divorce after nearly a decade of marital misery, I decided if I survived, I need to really reevaluate what I was doing with my life and I changed everything.

I became very aware that none of us were promised tomorrow so I wanted to pursue my dreams and set that example for my kids while there is still life in my body to do so. Since that time I’ve also put myself through a year long intensive Hypnotherapy program at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute in Tarzana, California and I’m currently in pursuit of multiple degrees in Psychology, which I intend to culminate with a Ph.D.

I have made two feature documentaries, one addressing the Midwifery Model of Care, and one addressing the suicide crisis, and I’m currently in preproduction with one about domestic violence. I wrote two books (self published one in 2023, seeking publisher for the second, while I’m writing a third), and work as a successful Hypnotherapist, helping my clients understand and rewire their subconscious programming. As a Hypnotherapist one of my areas of speciality is Pregnancy, Childbirth and Postpartum Support — and as far as I know I’m the only person offering free extended postpartum support.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview, about postpartum depression. Let’s start with a basic definition so that all of us are on the same page. Can you please tell us what postpartum depression is?

Postpartum is the period after giving birth. Some of us refer to this time as the 4th trimester. Some women experience bliss and are over the moon, while others experience what is called the “baby blues” after giving birth. Baby blues can present as depression, with anxiety and mood swings, including crying fits for seemingly no reason, but it isn’t long lasting, maybe a few days to a couple weeks.

Postpartum depression is more intense and longer lasting than baby blues and can interfere with the mother’s ability or desire to care for herself and or her newborn, and can become life-threateningly dangerous, if too severe and untreated.

Beyond postpartum depression, is postpartum psychosis. Postpartum psychosis is characterized by confusion, losing touch with reality, paranoia, delusions, hallucinations and disorganized thoughts.

Can you discuss some common misconceptions about postpartum depression and why they are harmful?

These are the top misconceptions I’d like to address, though the misconceptions about postpartum depression aren’t limited to these three issues:

1. Postpartum depression only presents during the first months following the birth.

This is incorrect. Sometimes a woman might not feel the onset of postpartum depression until 6–12 months after giving birth. When postpartum is delayed instead of occurring immediately after birth, some women and or their partners might dismiss it as something else, not realizing that is indeed postpartum depression.

2. Postpartum depression only affects new mothers.

This is incorrect. Postpartum depression can also affect the partner of the mother. Sometimes the partner can feel left out of the bonding experience. Sometimes men feel jealous of breastfeeding moms being the only one who gets to bond with the baby during feeding time. And sometimes, irrational as it may sound, some men are actually jealous of the new baby who is now getting their partner’s attention. A lot of women report feeling “touched out” after holding and nursing a baby all day and don’t want to be touched above the waist by their partners if they want to be touched at all, making many men feel resentment towards the baby. The problem is that no one wants to admit feeling resentful or jealous of a baby so they don’t admit it out loud and instead act out in passive aggressive or toxic ways. There’s shame and guilt attached to those feelings of jealousy and resentment, and these feelings can make a lot of men uncomfortable, creating their own experience of postpartum depression, minus the hormonal aspect of the mood disorder.

3. Women with postpartum depression are going to hurt their babies or themselves.

This is largely incorrect. Yes, some women have harmed themselves and their children while suffering postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis. However, the majority of women with postpartum depression do not harm themselves or their babies. But this negative stigma associated with postpartum depression is one of several reasons why women are scared to report and admit that they’re having postpartum depression symptoms and will deny it if asked. This is harmful because this idea prevents many women from getting help and there is help available. In fact, postpartum depression is easily treatable with professional support.

Can you explain the role of hormonal changes in postpartum depression, and how does this influence treatment approaches?

After giving birth we experience a dramatic decrease in estrogen and progesterone, which is believed to contribute to postpartum depression. It is estimated to take about six months for hormones to return to their baseline levels. When the hormones drop we can experience low energy, feeling more tired, sluggish and depressed, as well as emotional issues.

Effective treatment approaches for postpartum depression consider the hormonal changes that occur during pregnancy and after giving birth, and will vary from person to person but there are several treatments available for postpartum depression. These include medication, hormone therapy, psychotherapy, support groups, and lifestyle changes.

How does postpartum depression impact the bonding between a mother and her baby, and what interventions are available to address this?

Postpartum depression definitely can impact the bonding between mother and baby. A mother might feel disconnected from her baby and not want to hold the baby, feed the baby, or tend to any of it’s needs. There’s emotional distancing, decreased interaction and inconsistent caregiving. There are several ways to address this but I think the two most effective would be through talk therapy and support groups. If needed, medication is always an available option that can be effective in many cases.

What are some of the best ways to treat postpartum depression?

Medication, hormone therapy, psychotherapy also known as talk therapy, support groups, and lifestyle changes are probably the most common and most effective treatments of postpartum depression. What would be “best” is subjective person to person.

Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Things Everyone Should Know About Postpartum Depression?”

1 . Postpartum depression is actually a leading cause of pregnancy related maternal death. The CDC has cited that maternal mental health conditions as a leading cause of pregnancy related deaths. The suicide rate for postpartum mothers is a staggering 39% between six weeks and 12 months of giving birth. Whereas antepartum depression (depression while pregnant) is accountable for up to 23% of pregnancy related deaths.

I can personally relate to this because during my postpartum period with my daughter, who is almost two and a half (at the time of doing this interview), was the first time I experienced true postpartum depression. I had no one to help me with my baby, and aside from my baby, I also had five teenagers. Thankfully my older kids are able to mostly take care of themselves, know how to cook, and don’t require me to micromanage their lives. During my postpartum period, I was alone with my baby most of the time, and while she mostly slept, I mostly cried. I didn’t just cry. I thought, and almost convinced myself, that all of my children including this beautiful newborn girl, would be better off with me dead. I was trapped in a mental prison of dark thoughts. I didn’t get out of my bed unless I had to go to the bathroom, bathe or visit with her dad. When I went to the bathroom or to bathe, I had to bring my baby and hold her the entire time. I didn’t leave my bedroom for months. Literally. If I needed food or water, I asked one of my older children to bring it to me. I brought my laptop to my bed and worked from my bed. I did everything from my bed for months, and most of it I did with a face full of tears and a soul that was aching to feel something good. However, all I could think about when my mind went on autopilot was all of the reasons why I should end my life instead, and how much better off everyone else would be without me.

And one day a little voice crept up. “But I’m a Hypnotherapist and I work in this area, it’s my expertise”, I told myself. “What would I say to a client who came to me feeling this way?”, I asked myself.

And in that moment I knew that if I don’t start doing something about it, I was going to succumb to the dark thoughts. So I put myself on a mental diet, speaking positively to myself and I thought about how I can take this experience and turn it into something I can use to help other people. That’s when I started turning my Hypnotherapy program for pregnancy and childbirth into a 15 chapter book, and made the second section and full interactive six session Hypnotherapy program, with QR codes that link to videos and MP3s. It’s the first of it’s kind, as no book like this has ever existed before. It also inspired me to offer free extended postpartum support to all of my clients because I understood first hand how dark the postpartum experience can be, and after having already spent many years researching and understanding all things related to suicide and it’s long-lasting effects on surviving family and friends, I wanted to help steer other moms suffering these dark thoughts away from acting on them. So I was able to take my negative and turn it into a positive, with the creation of this book. Working on this book is what pulled me out of the darkness that came close to claiming my life, and robbing my daughter of her mother.

2 . Due to the stigma and shame surrounding admitting to depression a lot of women don’t admit to experiencing postpartum depression because of their fears about how they will be judged by others. Some will outright deny their depression and pretend to be fine because they’re scared if they confess to feeling bad that it means they’re a bad mom and someone will take their kids away. The danger in not talking about it due to stigma, shame and fear is that if no one knows a mother is suffering, no one can get her help, especially if she won’t ask for or seek out help for herself.

I had a client who asked for extended postpartum support after our 6th session, which is the postpartum session. She said said that she didn’t feel safe or comfortable discussing the uncomfortable feelings she was having post-birth with anyone else in her life, and that I provided a safe space. She wasn’t feeling connected to her child right away and wasn’t bonding with the baby, but she felt like she had to mask that around all her friends and family and pretend to be happy. This resulted in me deciding not to charge for that extended support and to make free extended postpartum support part of my program, because I know it’s something some mothers really need. This client told me that our sessions made her feel good and the effect would often spill over into the coming days. Being allowed to feel safe talking openly and honestly about her dark thoughts and feelings, without fear of being judged or shamed, was really helpful.

Women need to feel safe talking about these things, because if we don’t feel safe, we won’t talk about it. And not talking about it, if we have no healthy coping mechanism, can keep us in a dark place and even take our life. Therefore society needs to make better efforts to end the stigma and shame around talking about mental health, especially when it comes to censoring words and forcing people to change the term to “unaliving themselves” to try to soften the blow of what they’re really meaning to say. Ending the stigma and shame, and allowing people to feel safe talking openly about their struggles is vital to saving lives and reducing the maternal mortality rates due to pregnancy related deaths.

3 . Not all mom’s bond with their baby right away — and that is okay. It might actually be more common than you think. I have heard a lot of new moms express and they feel shame about it. They don’t like to admit this. I’ve heard it from many clients in one on one sessions. Just like the aforementioned client, when a woman is experiencing the darkness known as postpartum depression, it can be very hard to connect to their child who is solely dependent on the new mom. We can’t pour from an empty cup, as the saying goes.

This inability to bond right away might make a mom resent the very idea of breastfeeding, feeling like after sharing their body for all those months, they finally want their body back. This can then make the mom feel guilty about feeling that way if they’re someone who believes that breastfeeding is the best choice. Of course if the mother isn’t enjoying the nursing experience, she is likely to stop breastfeeding sooner than she originally intended or she may continue but with resentment for the child, and the emotional guilt and shame that comes with feeling resentment. It’s important for moms to know that if they’re not bonding with their baby right away, it’s more common than you might know but if it persists, it would be wise to seek therapeutic help from a professional.

4 . Proper postpartum nutrition is important, not only for breastfeeding mothers, but also for overall physical and mental wellness. A breastfeeding mom requires more calories and nutrients. The diet should include plenty of protein, calcium, vitamins, and fluids. I always recommend consulting personal nutritional needs with a dietician, especially because we are living in times when people have varying food preferences and dietary restrictions.

The most important part about prenatal and postpartum nutrition is that the mother is getting the proper nutrients, regardless of if she thrives on a plant-based diet or omnivore diet. For example, a plant-based diet might be high in beans, leafy greens, fruits, vegetables, grains, and nuts. An example of an omnivore diet might look more like fish, chicken, and beef with some grains, vegetables and fruits. It’s always best if processed foods, high sugar, junk foods and empty calorie foods can be limited because the baby is going to take the nutrients it needs directly from the mother, so the mother needs to replenish with whole, nutritionally-sound foods and plenty of liquids.

Even for a mother who chooses not to breastfeed, she still needs to meet her nutritional needs to maintain proper health to take care of her newborn, which requires energy. Pregnancy and childbirth take a lot of energy from us. Taking care of our bodies in this way is vital to our overall wellness. What we feed our bodies also affects our moods and minds. I go into detail about how food affects the mind in my documentary addressing the suicide crisis, as well as my yet-to-be-published book, “Mind Magic: Unleash Your Subconscious Superpowers.”

5 . Postpartum body dysmorphia is a real thing that is not talked about enough. A lot of times our postpartum bodies make us feel insecure and unattractive. I hear from a lot of clients that after giving birth, they feel the opposite of sexy and many are afraid their partners will cheat because they feel like after having a baby, their partners might not be attracted to them anymore. This is one of the more common things I hear regarding postpartum bodies from my clients, as well as read in online groups that I’m in. Our bodies are going through hormonal changes and adjustments during pregnancy and afterwards. Our bodies change shape. Our bodies are leaking. Our clothes don’t fit. Our babies are often clinging to us. And all of this affects us emotionally and mentally.

For example, media, social media and society place a lot of pressure on moms and women to bounce back to their pre-pregnancy shape, and the truth is, many women never go back to their pre-pregnancy body. And that’s okay. There are social media influencers and celebrities looking picture-perfect moments, days, and weeks after giving birth, which makes normal women feel bad and insecure. There is a lot of body dysmorphia due to social media as it is and it has a negative effect on a lot of women who aren’t comfortable with their newly postpartum bodies. There are mixed messages in media about how women should embrace their natural bodies, as well as showing women what society thinks the perfect female form should look like.

Social media advertises “Mommy makeovers” to new moms, showing us plastic surgeons who can “fix” our tummies, and lift our breasts. What messaging do you think that sends to new moms who are already feeling insecure and ugly? We’re forever altered as humans through motherhood, and it feels like society wants us to both embrace and reject that notion at the same time, making many women feel twisted in knots. It can be overwhelming and add to the emotional distress, anxiety and insecurities of a woman already experiencing postpartum depression. There are even some women who experience postpartum depression directly and solely as it relates to their body dysmorphia.

What are some practical strategies for supporting a partner or loved one experiencing postpartum depression?

Remember that new moms need to be mothered. I think partners, extended family, and friends can be most effective in supporting someone through postpartum depression by listening to them. People have a need to feel heard. Ask if she is hungry. If she says yes but doesn’t know what she wants to eat, give her a few options and either prepare or order food for her. Mother the mother. While she exerts her energy on mothering her new baby, she might neglect her own needs — and this is true for all new moms, not just ones experiencing postpartum depression. Make her feel loved and appreciated, and sometimes that can be done in small but thoughtful gestures. Offer to hold the baby so she can take a shower by herself. Offer to hold the baby so she can eat a meal with both hands. Offer to give her a foot or back massage. Remind her that she is valued and loved. And whatever you do, absolutely do not invalidate her feelings or experience.

One of the photos in this interview is of me with my daughter when she was 10 weeks old. At this time I was suffering a dark postpartum depression, but on this day we were visiting with her dad, so I had to pretend all was well and put on happy face. Sometimes, to an onlooker, depression is disguised. Someone could be suffering before your very eyes and you might never know it. That is the greatest burden of the stigma that is attached to talking about it.

What are some cultural or societal factors that may contribute to the prevalence and experience of postpartum depression, and how can we address these effectively?

Societal factors that contribute to the prevalence of postpartum depression include stigma surrounding mental health, lack of social support, cultural expectations of motherhood, socioeconomic disparities, and beliefs about mental health and treatment.

To address these factors effectively, we need to:

1. Increase awareness and understanding of PPD within communities and healthcare settings.
2. Provide culturally competent care that respects diverse beliefs and values.
3. Strengthen social support networks for new mothers through community-based programs and support groups.
4. Integrate traditional healing practices and cultural rituals into treatment approaches.
5. Advocate for policies that support maternal mental health, including increased access to healthcare and mental health services, and paid maternity leave.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Actually, one of my big goals is to start a non profit to help moms, with an emphasis on helping single moms. I imagine this non-profit to be a resource that helps with legal financial support for mom’s going through divorce and custody battles, for moms to go back to school, for moms to get the needed resources needed for their children and themselves, and a lot of self-empowerment workshops. I believe all women, including married moms, and single moms are capable of great and amazing things if we are only given the opportunities. I am a girl’s girl, a mom’s mom and a champion of women.

How can our readers further follow you online?

Instagram: @jacquibluelife

YouTube: @Beautifulhypnosisbirths

YouTube: @mindmagiccoach

YouTube: @mymindmagic

YouTube: @StarseedPictures

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!