Jesse Janelle On How To Listen Effectively To Succeed Personally And Professionally

An Interview With Doug Noll

People will trust you more. When you’re able to develop a strong listening presence, people will feel more comfortable sharing with you, and will therefore trust you more. This is why listening effectively is so important to being a good coach, and why coaches get graded on their presence as part of their certification process. This is also the most important factor in effective leadership.

It’s hard to be a good listener. We are programmed to want to talk, and to share. It takes effort to stop and to listen. But anyone who has achieved great success will tell you that listening is such an important quality to have. What are some ways that influential people have learned to listen, to succeed both personally and professionally? As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jesse Janelle.

Jesse Janelle is an ICF certified coach for soul-searching millennials who want to live extraordinary lives.

She has been working in the coaching industry for over a decade, serving leaders from companies such as, McKinsey, Harvard Medical School, The Walt Disney Company, NBC Universal, Massachusetts General Hospital, Amazon, and many others. In 2021, she was selected to be a founding member of Forefront, powered by Marshall Goldsmith and the 100 Coaches, for her contributions to the field of leadership coaching.

Jesse holds a BA in Psychology from Boston College and completed her Ontological coach training with the Newfield Network. She is a 200-hour registered yoga teacher and has completed extensive training in meditation and mindfulness practices.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I help soul-searching millennials trust themselves enough to show up authentically in the world.

I’ve been on a deep healing journey since experiencing a trauma when I was only 11 years old.

This experience disconnected me from my body and my innate wisdom. So much so, that I had disassociated from the memory completely. Nearly a decade later, I remembered the event and began the deeply spiritual work of reestablishing trust in myself.

I coach, teach, and write to share the insights I’ve gained through 22 years of meditation, yoga, somatic work, and inner healing — as well as the knowledge I’ve gained as a coach helping others along their journeys.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

When you meet your fear, shame, and judgment with love, openness, and compassion, a powerful connection is reestablished to the Self. When I was able to reestablish that connection with myself, and in particular with my body, I was able to fully step into my authenticity.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Gabby Bernstein is a big influence in general for me. I especially love her new book, Happy Days. Her podcast, Dear Gabby, is one of my favorites. She is both a spiritual teacher and motivational speaker, and she speaks openly and honestly about her life experiences. I appreciate her authenticity and presence, and she is the type of thought leader I’d like to see more of in the world.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does being a good listener mean?

Being a good listener is about the presence with which you meet someone else who is sharing with you. Listening is not just about being quiet while someone else is talking. People can share without speaking, and you can listen without hearing.

Why is effective listening such an important quality? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

Listening is how we gather information about the world around us and about ourselves. In fact, I believe that the most important type of listening we do is listening to ourselves. When we can tune into ourselves, and deeply listen to what our body or our intuition is trying to tell us, then we can become our own most trusted advisor. It’s with this confidence that we can courageously show up as our true selves in the world.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from being a good listener?

Listening requires an energetic connection to the person you are listening to, whether that be another party or yourself. Most people are so removed from their own presence and energy that it is difficult to form that connection. That’s when we revert to simply “hearing” and not actually “listening.”

What are some practical techniques that have helped you become a more effective listener?

Mindfulness practices that reestablish a connection to the body were the techniques that helped me most when I was first starting to work on my listening presence. This could mean doing a body scan meditation, yoga, or journaling. I personally find yoga to be the most grounding practice for developing a strong listening presence.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are five ways that listening effectively can help someone succeed personally and professionally? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1 . People will trust you more. When you’re able to develop a strong listening presence, people will feel more comfortable sharing with you, and will therefore trust you more. This is why listening effectively is so important to being a good coach, and why coaches get graded on their presence as part of their certification process. This is also the most important factor in effective leadership.

2 . You will be able to make better decisions, faster. Listening effectively means you’ll be able to take in more information, and then be able to use that information to make better decisions, faster. This can help you get ahead in your career and make you a better leader.

3 . You’ll become practiced at being present. Being present in the moment can help you avoid or reduce stress and live a more peaceful life. Regret lives in the past and anxiety lives in the future. The more skilled you can become at staying in the present, the more enjoyable your life will be.

4 . You’ll become more connected to yourself. A major component of effective listening is being able to not just listen to others, but listen to yourself. As you get better at tuning into yourself, you’ll start to trust your intuition more. Your intuition is the most powerful source of wisdom available.

5 .You form stronger relationships (including a relationship with yourself). Strong relationships are the foundation of both personal and professional success. When you are skilled at listening effectively, all your relationships are strengthened, because you are providing the other person with the acknowledgment and presence they most desire. People want to be seen and heard, and effective listeners provide that.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

My mission is to help as many people as possible get connected to their innate wisdom and embrace the power of their intuition to make the world a more loving, compassionate, and peaceful place.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Hands down, Gabby Bernstein!

How can our readers continue to follow your work online?

Readers can visit my website, www.jessejanelle.com. They’ll find a free Self-Trust Starter Kit, which is a great way to begin the journey of reestablishing a strong connection to yourself and developing authentic presence.

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: Douglas E. Noll, JD, MA was born nearly blind, crippled with club feet, partially deaf, and left-handed. He overcame all of these obstacles to become a successful civil trial lawyer. In 2000, he abandoned his law practice to become a peacemaker. His calling is to serve humanity, and he executes his calling at many levels. He is an award-winning author, teacher, and trainer. He is a highly experienced mediator. Doug’s work carries him from international work to helping people resolve deep interpersonal and ideological conflicts. Doug teaches his innovative de-escalation skill that calms any angry person in 90 seconds or less. With Laurel Kaufer, Doug founded Prison of Peace in 2009. The Prison of Peace project trains life and long terms incarcerated people to be powerful peacemakers and mediators. He has been deeply moved by inmates who have learned and applied deep, empathic listening skills, leadership skills, and problem-solving skills to reduce violence in their prison communities. Their dedication to learning, improving, and serving their communities motivates him to expand the principles of Prison of Peace so that every human wanting to learn the skills of peace may do so. Doug’s awards include California Lawyer Magazine Lawyer of the Year, Best Lawyers in America Lawyer of the Year, Purpose Prize Fellow, International Academy of Mediators Syd Leezak Award of Excellence, National Academy of Distinguished Neutrals Neutral of the Year. His four books have won a number of awards and commendations. Doug’s podcast, Listen With Leaders, is now accepting guests. Click on this link to learn more and apply.