Jessica Lyonford Of zant On How Authenticity and Vulnerability Pay Off and Help You Win Personally and Professionally
Showing up as your whole self in the world can lead to more meaningful relationships. When you are genuine and open, you build deeper connections based on trust and mutual respect. This creates a supportive network that enriches your personal and professional life.
Being vulnerable and authentic are some of today’s popular buzzwords. It may seem counterintuitive to be vulnerable, as many of us have been taught to project an air of confidence, be a boss, and act like we know everything. In Brene Brown’s words, “vulnerability takes courage.” So is vulnerability a strength or a weakness? Can someone be authentic without being vulnerable? How can being authentic and vulnerable help someone grow both personally and professionally? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, mental health professionals and business and life coaches who can share stories and examples of “How Authenticity and Vulnerability Pay Off and Help You Win Personally and Professionally.” As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Jessica Lyonford.
Jessica Lyonford is an ICF-Certified Life Coach and the visionary founder behind Project More Happy, a company dedicated to spreading the science of happiness. Drawing from positive psychology, her framework of The Eight Pillars of Happiness helps people design lives rooted in purpose and joy. Jessica is also the host of the Project: More Happy podcast and serves as a certified provider on the zant app.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I had a pretty typical childhood for a middle-class kid of the 80s and 90s. I grew up in the Midwest, did well in school, played sports, sang in the choir, and went to church — pretty typical stuff.
The one thing I didn’t realize until much later in life was how heavily labels impacted my confidence and self-esteem during that time. That’s the story of how I got from a “typical childhood” to becoming a happiness coach.
When I was growing up, I wore the labels of smart, tomboy, stubborn, gifted, redhead, and many others. Those labels, whether I chose them or not, greatly influenced how I showed up in the world, but even more so, how I saw myself. From the outside, I think most people assumed I was happy, healthy, and thriving. Inside, it was a different story because I never really understood who I was or who I wanted to be.
In adulthood, I did the hard work of going inward and discovering myself, my gifts, and ultimately, my humanity. Now, I get to help other people do the same, guiding them to uncover their true selves and live authentically.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I love quotes, so choosing a favorite is always super hard. One that resonates deeply with me is from Brené Brown: “Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”
Growing up, as I previously shared, was full of labels and expectations for who I was supposed to be. I was often labeled in ways that influenced how I saw myself. It took a lot of inner work to let go of those expectations and embrace my true self. This practice of authenticity is what I now use to help others cultivate their own lives.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
The only thing I love more than quotes are books!
One book that made a significant impact on my life is The Book of Joy by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. This book changed how I saw the relationship between happiness, spirituality, and science.
Understanding the interconnectedness of it all gave me permission to lean into spaces I had previously cut off from myself. This realization has profoundly influenced my approach to happiness and well-being, both personally and in my work as a happiness coach.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly does being authentic mean?
Living authentically means that your actions and behaviors are aligned with your values, beliefs, and core identity. It’s about being true to yourself in every aspect of your life, embracing your unique qualities and imperfections, and allowing them to shine.
Authenticity fosters deeper, more meaningful connections with others and creates a sense of trust and respect, both within yourself and in your relationships. This alignment is a cornerstone of happiness and well-being.
What does being vulnerable mean? Can you explain?
Being vulnerable means allowing yourself to be open and honest about your feelings, experiences, and struggles, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky.
It’s about sharing your authentic self without the fear of judgment or rejection. Vulnerability involves embracing uncertainty and taking emotional risks, knowing that doing so can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.
Vulnerability is a courageous act that fosters trust, empathy, and understanding in relationships. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create the opportunity for genuine human connection and a more profound sense of belonging.
What are the positive aspects of being authentic and vulnerable? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
The positive aspects of living with authenticity and vulnerability are numerous. When you are authentic, you build trust and credibility with others, which leads to stronger, more meaningful relationships. Being vulnerable allows you to connect on a deeper level, fostering empathy and understanding. This openness can lead to personal growth, increased resilience, and a greater sense of fulfillment.
One example that comes to mind is a client I worked with who was struggling at work. She was feeling disconnected at her job, always putting on a facade and trying to be what she thought others wanted and expected of her.
During our sessions, we focused on aligning with her core needs and desires and sharing her thoughts and feelings more openly with her colleagues. It was a slow process, but she started expressing her ideas and asking for help and support when she needed it.
One day, she shared a personal story during a team meeting about a failure she had experienced early in her career and what she had learned from it. Her vulnerability in sharing her story helped her colleagues see her in a new light and encouraged them to share their own experiences more openly. The team became more cohesive and supportive, which led to more collaboration and creativity. Finally, she felt connected and valued, significantly boosting her happiness and job satisfaction.
Being authentic and vulnerable creates a stronger sense of self and builds stronger, more meaningful relationships and experiences.
Are there negative aspects to authenticity and vulnerability? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
While authenticity and vulnerability have many positive aspects, they can also present challenges. Being open and honest can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, or feelings of exposure. It’s very important to balance authenticity with discernment, knowing when and how much to share in different situations.
For example, one of my clients was committed to being authentic and open in all interactions. However, sharing too much personal information too quickly sometimes makes others uncomfortable or leads to awkward situations. In a meeting, sharing fears about an upcoming project was interpreted as a lack of confidence by the team, affecting their trust in his leadership.
Through our work together, he learned a more balanced approach–sharing his true self while maintaining professional boundaries and building trust more effectively.
Although authenticity and vulnerability are generally positive, they require mindfulness and sensitivity to context to avoid potential negative responses.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common barriers that hold someone back from being authentic and vulnerable?
Fear of rejection is the biggest one. We are a social species; no one wants to be left out.
Other barriers include the desire to fit in, past experiences of being judged or criticized, and societal or cultural pressures to conform. These all can make it difficult for people to be vulnerable and share their humanity with others.
What are five ways that being authentic and vulnerable pay off, and help you win, both personally and professionally?
Research in the field of Positive Psychology and human flourishing has shown that authenticity and vulnerability are key to living a fulfilling and happy life. Here are five ways that being authentic and vulnerable can pay off, both personally and professionally:
1. Showing up as your whole self in the world can lead to more meaningful relationships. When you are genuine and open, you build deeper connections based on trust and mutual respect. This creates a supportive network that enriches your personal and professional life.
2. Prioritizing authenticity and vulnerability can help prevent burnout. By being true to yourself and setting boundaries, you ensure that your work and life align with your values and needs, reducing stress and promoting well-being.
3. Embracing your true self can boost confidence and self-worth. When you acknowledge and share your strengths and imperfections, you cultivate a sense of self-acceptance and pride, which translates into greater confidence in your abilities.
4. Allowing yourself to be authentic enhances creativity and innovation. You are the only one who has seen and experienced the world the way you have. That is your gift. Your gift leads to different thinking and ideas, fostering innovation and creativity.
5. Being open and honest improves communication. When you share your genuine thoughts and feelings, it encourages others to do the same, leading to clearer, more effective interactions and collaboration.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
If I could inspire a movement that would bring the most good to most people, it would be Project More Happy.
Project More Happy’s vision is to create a world that is more just, more sustainable, and deeply rooted in our shared humanity. By using The Eight Pillars of Happiness as our guide, we empower individuals, organizations, and communities to embrace the science of happiness and flourishing.
Imagine a world where everyone feels valued, connected and fulfilled. When we integrate these principles into our daily lives, we can uplift each other and create a ripple effect of positive change. When we all flourish as one, we build a brighter, more connected future for everyone
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
I would love to have lunch with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. His perspective that humanity, spirituality and science not only coexist but depend on each other really speaks to me.
In our day-to-day lives, we often forget how interconnected these aspects are. I would love to learn more from him about how to embody this interconnectedness and enable it for others.
How can our readers follow you online?
Thanks so much for asking! You can follow me on Instagram @themorehappycoach or subscribe to the Project: More Happy podcast wherever you stream podcasts. You can also find me on the zant app — just search for Coach Jess and book your first session!
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
