Karl Stillner of BrightCanary On What Tech Companies Can Do and Are Doing to Protect Our Children’s Mental Health From Technology and Digital Media
An interview with Pirie Jones Grossman
Parents need to parent, and that includes online spaces. Tech companies should be required to provide visibility to the content their young kids are consuming online. Currently, young kids have far too much autonomy in a world that is not designed for kids.
Tech companies keep iterating and moving forward. They are constantly working on furthering their goals. But as we all know, our mental health and our children’s mental health are sometimes at stake. Young people’s brains are still developing, and it sometimes seems that we need to fight against so much just to allow our kids a fair chance at healthy development and mental wellness. Are tech companies trying to help protect our kids’ mental health? What are some things companies are doing or should be doing to help protect our children’s mental health? In this interview series, we are talking to leaders of tech companies, as well as anyone who is an authority on the subject of “What Tech Companies Can Do and Are Doing to Protect Our Children’s Mental Health From Technology and Digital Media.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Karl Stillner, Co-Founder and CEO of BrightCanary.
Karl Stillner is an early-stage tech entrepreneur who has focused his career on the mobile ecosystem. He has had numerous jobs in management consulting and earlier stage companies, including selling one of the first app success stories, FlightTrack, to Expedia. He co-founded the mobile audience data marketplace, PushSpring, and grew it to profitability and a leading position in the mobile audience ecosystem. He sold the business to T-Mobile in 2019 and helped co-found T-Mobile’s advertising group. He had numerous roles at T-Mobile Advertising, including running sales and marketing, the operation and analytics group and the group’s M&A activities. Most recently he co-founded BrightCanary, a service dedicated to helping parents engage with their kids’ digital activities and teach them how to be digitally responsible consumers. He is a father to two energetic boys (11 and 8).
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I worked in management consulting for my first job after college, which proved to be an excellent crash course in business for a liberal arts major. I was on the MBA path when I deferred my enrollment to work for a start-up in the dot com boom. The experience provided me with a taste of the early-stage tech ecosystem. While I was there for the implosion, I was still hooked and realized that it was where I wanted to spend the majority of my career.
After business school, I decided to move to the West Coast and thought that the wireless industry would be dynamic, fast growing, and full of talented people. I joined AT&T Wireless (a few versions ago) and managed a data product in the early days. Working at a carrier gave me a good background in the ecosystem, but ultimately, I knew that would be happiest when I was creating and moving at my own pace. So, it was back to the start-up world, where I have been ever since. It plays to my interest in wearing many hats and working in a fast-paced environment. My most recent project, BrightCanary, was born out of having two tweenagers who are very much growing up in the digital era. I wanted to have something that would help me (and others) be an engaged parent.
Can you share the most interesting story that has happened since you started your career?
I’d love to tell this story, but the BrightCanary app is telling me it might not be appropriate for all audiences. Ha!
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
I recently co-founded BrightCanary with Steve Dossick to help parents teach their kids how to use the Internet responsibly. Tweens are spending, on average, 5.5 hours a day on digital devices, so it’s critical we prepare them to be smart digital citizens. At the same, we need to give parents tools to help them guide and protect their kids in this technological age.
Our first offering is an app that simplifies parental digital engagement. The BrightCanary app keeps parents informed about the content their kids are consuming online and the people they are chatting with. When a parent downloads BrightCanary, they get a dashboard of their kids’ daily digital habits. Using AI, we flag any concerning content or communications so families can chat about important topics together before they become a problem. We also provide tools and resources to guide these conversations.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
The Confederacy of Dunces had a big impact on me at an early age. First, it’s hilarious and brilliant. But it also offers a very biting perspective of how someone can be well-read and educated, but still be totally oblivious to what it means to be a good human being. It’s a good reminder that intellect and character are uncorrelated. Finally, the backstory of the book is fascinating. The author, John Kennedy Toole, tried for many years to get A Confederacy of Dunces (and others) published. He was unsuccessful and took his own life at 31. His mom ultimately got A Confederacy of Dunces published 11 years after his death. He was posthumously awarded the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1981.
From your experience or research, can you help articulate some of the downsides of children having access to technology and digital media? Is there an amount of time, or certain content, that is just too much?
We know that anxiety, depression, and isolation among young people has increased in lockstep with smartphone and social media usage over the last decade. We’ve also seen that excessive access to digital media plays a large role in crowding out other interests that exist in the real world. If a teenager is using devices for 8.5 hours a day (Common Sense Media), there isn’t a lot of time for other activities, including real-world socialization, athletics, creation of various forms of art, and sleep. Sleep is especially concerning; too much media consumption on devices can reduce quantity and quality of sleep, which is particularly damaging for adolescents. We know that sleep is particularly important at this age, and yet we are replacing it with content that often breeds insecurity and loneliness.
Hard time limits are difficult to establish. The research shows that how much time kids spend on their devices isn’t as important as what content they’re consuming and how it affects their relationships.
Let’s talk specifically about social media. How can it be harmful to young people’s mental health?
Many studies point to a statistically significant relationship between hours of social media usage and measures of anxiety and depression. Adolescent brains are still developing at a very rapid rate, and kids are not well-equipped to manage the addictive nature of these platforms. Social media taps into some very base fears that kids have around fitting in, being excluded, and measuring up against fake ideals. Girls are particularly impacted — girls who spend more than 4 hours a day on social media have two to three times the rate of depression as girls who spend an hour or less.
Social media algorithms are also problematic for children because they can create a feedback loop of concerning content. If your kid interacts with videos that glorify disordered eating behaviors, platforms like TikTok will continue serving them related content. That’s why we believe parents need to stay involved in their kids’ online activity — you need to know when to step in if your child is interacting with content that encourages dangerous behavior.
It’s worth mentioning that social media can be a force for good, too. Nearly two-thirds of teenagers report that they make new friends through social media, and social media helps them feel more connected to their friends. That’s why parental supervision is a big deal: we need to help our kids understand how to use the internet safely, so they can grow up to become responsible and digitally literate adults.
Can you help articulate to our readers how big of a problem this is in our society right now? Why is this an urgent discussion to be having now?
There is compelling evidence that anxiety and depression among teenagers has been rising at alarming rates across Western countries since 2012, around the same time smartphone and social media usage became widespread. Self-harm and suicide rates among young people are also climbing. Certainly, this isn’t all due to phones and social media, but they certainly appear to be a significant factor. The lack of visibility and input into what their kids are seeing and doing online puts social media companies in the driver’s seat and leaves parents feeling helpless.
We’ve created these social media platforms so quickly and propagated them so pervasively that we haven’t developed the tools for kids and parents to adjust and learn how to use them responsibly.
Currently, there is legislation pending in several states to give parents some control over how their kids use social media. Input from privacy and child psychology experts should be factored into the specifics of the legislation, but doing nothing isn’t an option — parents need more visibility and influence over what their kids are doing online, so they can put guardrails in place to keep them safe. We want kids to be healthy and learn how to thrive in the digital age.
Can you please share five things that tech companies should do to protect our children’s mental health. (Please share a story or example for each.)
Parents need to parent, and that includes online spaces. Tech companies should be required to provide visibility to the content their young kids are consuming online. Currently, young kids have far too much autonomy in a world that is not designed for kids.
Parents should also have the ability to turn off the algorithms that recommend related content. As a parent, I’m not really concerned about what my son sees from his group of friends on TikTok or YouTube. But I am concerned with the other content those platforms algorithmically suggest, leading him down a rabbit hole.
Social media companies should enable parents to set time limits around when their kids can access social media. These platforms are designed to be addictive, which is problematic when kids continue scrolling late at night and undermine their mental health through sleep deprivation.
Social media companies should align on a minimum age for users, in conversation with adolescent psychologists. Some platforms set their minimum age at 13 but given all we have learned about the effects and addictive qualities of social media, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that the minimum age needs to be increased.
Are there tech companies currently doing work that you admire that are helping to protect children from the downsides of digital technology?
Google and Apple have both done a great job incorporating parental controls into their devices. These controls allow parents to set limits on how much time kids can spend on their devices. This provides quantitative restriction, while BrightCanary provides qualitative insights into what kids are doing when they are online. Both are necessary for younger kids when they are learning (hopefully) good habits and setting themselves up to be responsible digital citizens.
Of course, parents and guardians are the players who are most responsible for the young people under their care. So what are some things that they should do to protect young people’s mental health from the downsides of digital tech?
Parents should have a regular, open dialogue with their kids about the advantages and challenges presented by the digital world. Plenty of parents also have issues with screen time and talking about these challenges — and potential solutions — can help kids realize that these issues are normal and worth discussing. Consistent family check-ins can help open up two-way communication, giving kids a forum to share their experiences and thoughts.
Parents should also talk to their kids on an ongoing basis about the content they are consuming online. An app like BrightCanary, which gives parents visibility into what their kids are seeing and doing on the internet, is a good place to start; setting healthy boundaries and modeling good digital habits are also important. Supporting legislation that requires social media organizations to provide parents with more input and control will make it easier for parents, but we also advocate for public conversations and education about how parents can teach their kids how to be responsible online.
What are the best resources you would suggest to a young person who would like to learn more about this?
SafeSearchKids.com has a few articles aimed at teaching kids about how to protect themselves on social media — like this one for teenagers. Common Sense Media also has a great list of books for younger kids that help them understand some of these issues, like the negative impact of too much screen time.
What resources would you suggest to a parent or educator who would like to learn more about this?
We regularly publish advice and news for parents on the intersection of kids and technology on BrightCanary.io, including quick breakdowns of new research. We’re also launching a newsletter to bring this information directly to your inbox soon.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life?
A quote that I like for both personal and professional life is, “You have two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionally.”
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
One thing that modern society doesn’t value enough is kindness. I would love people to idolize and emulate kind people like they do those with a lot of money or power.
What is the best way our readers can continue to follow your work online?
You can follow us on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok — or just check us out on BrightCanary.io.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, and serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!
