Kyle George Of Ever After Memoir On How We Can Help Prevent Parental Alienation

…Vocal support is very important. What we need to do is go speak to representatives and demand that we change these laws because they’re unfair, not just for the father, but for the child. One thing you can do is speak to your local representatives and demand that they adopt the new bill that was adopted in Florida and Virginia.

Another thing is to educate local judges, because they’re the ones who make the decisions. Educate them on scientific evidence that shows it’s beneficial for the child to have both parents, not just one. Those are two things you can do and that I am doing…

I had the pleasure to talk with Kyle George. George, a Cuban American entrepreneur, created Ever After Memoir as a way to help people preserve their memories and express their final wishes. He was inspired by his own personal tragedy, the loss of his father, and his desire to ensure that his daughter would have a way to remember him forever. Ever After Memoir offers a variety of services, including wills, memory bears, and QR Memorials. These services allow people to leave behind messages of love and wisdom for their loved ones.

George is also an advocate for reform in family law. He believes that fathers should have equal rights to their children, and he is working to change laws that favor mothers over fathers.

George’s story is a testament to the power of personal tragedy and the ability to turn that tragedy into something positive.

Kyle, it’s great to meet you again. Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn about your personal origin story. Can you share with us the story of your childhood and how you grew up?

Absolutely. I was born in Cuba. I was there until the age of eight. Afterwards, my dad left Cuba to come to America under asylum. Back in the 1990s, things were different then. We were granted asylum and resided in Miami, Florida.

So tell us a bit about what led you to your career path.

I’ve changed my career path a few times in my life. After high school, I moved to California to pursue a career in the entertainment business. Then I decided to put that behind. I moved to Georgia and started working in the medical field. In 2020, I became a father and wanted to create a service where you can leave messages for your family and friends once you pass away. There wasn’t anything like that at the time, so that’s when I created Ever After Memoir. Now I’m in school to become an attorney. I want to practice family law. It’s something I’m interested in.

Are you working on any exciting initiatives? Has AI impacted your business?

Not yet. I haven’t incorporated any AI, but there are a lot of ideas to incorporate it. What we’re trying to do in the future is perhaps capture the essence of a person while they’re alive and with the help of AI, store it into a database. So let’s say somebody passes away, you can text that person, but the AI will have the information of who that person was. In a way, it will keep their essence — who they were alive. That’s something we’re looking into and I think it’s very cool for the future.

So you could communicate with an AI that represents your relative, of course it will mimic their personality and responses. It would sound like and think like the person that passed away. It’s difficult capturing the essence of a person, but with the help of technology and the way things are going, I think it’s capable of being done. Yeah, it’s kind of like science fiction — you could put that essence into a piece of hardware. We’re living in the future.

So tell us a bit about your idea regarding changing the laws that create parental alienation. Tell us about your experience and why you’re passionate about this.

Okay, sure. That’s a good question. I’m glad you asked. I used to be engaged and was going to be married. Unfortunately, it didn’t work out, but out of that relationship, I became a father to a little girl. When my ex-fiancée and I separated, she one day said I couldn’t see my daughter anymore. It’s heartbreaking when you find out that legally, I couldn’t do anything about it because we were never married and I had no legal rights to my daughter.

I hired an attorney to go to court and fight for me. What I learned is that even though you’re a good father, take care of your daughter, pay child support which is required by law, that doesn’t necessarily grant you rights to have your child and be part of their life 50–50 equivalent to the mother. It only means you can legally see your child every other weekend. I was dissatisfied with that law here in Georgia.

There are two states I know of that grant you equal custody, one is Virginina and the other is Florida. Governor Ron DeSantis approved the bill HB 1301 and it went into effect July 1, 2023.

I attempted to get 50/50 custody of my daughter for two years, proving I was a good dad — have no mental illness, no drug use or anything that would harm my daughter. However, that didn’t grant me permission for a 50–50 arrangement because the mother didn’t want it. It’s unfair that our laws tend to favor granting full or 90% custody to the mother even when the father desires active involvement. Research says it’s equally important for a child to have both parents involved, not just the mother.

I wanted to understand the process and that’s why I started law school to learn family law and see how we can make it fair. The 14th Amendment of the Constitution states that no person should be deprived of life and liberty. I believe that the court systems are denying fathers our “life” — meaning our role as parents to our children. Denying fathers parenting time deprives them of the opportunity to actively engage in their children’s lives, undermining their emotional connection and sense of purpose as parents. This perpetuates unfair gender stereotypes and violates the fundamental rights of fathers and their children to maintain meaningful relationships.

I’m passionate about working to change family law in America because I believe ultimately it is a child’s right to have a father and mother.

Let’s just play devil’s advocate. Let’s try to understand where the law comes from. What would the rationale be, especially in Georgia? Why don’t they give equal parental rights? It feels like it doesn’t make sense. Where are they coming from?

Well, from my understanding, they’re basing their logic on old research, nothing modern. What’s the old research? That dads are not fit to be loving or emotionally bonding to their child, which sounds absolutely crazy. It doesn’t make any sense at all. So they’re basing their logic on old research from the past.

When family law started in the 1900s, things were very different. As you know, the mother took care of the child and the father went to work in the assembly line and factories. Well, we’re not in the 1900s anymore. We’re in 2024 and things are very different. A father can be just as much of a parental figure to a child as a mother can be.

I went to speak to Chuck Efstration, who is the majority representative here in Georgia. He pretty much told me that to change the law here, you have to get in front of the representatives and speak with scientific facts, and show them that research now shows it is important for the child to have a father.

So you’re saying right now of all 50 states, only two states allow equal parental rights?

Correct. Florida and Virginia. So 48 states are in this antiquated perspective that fathers can’t be good fathers.

Can you define, just so everyone’s on the same page, what is Parental Alienation?

Sure, that’s a good question. Drawing from Amy Baker (2019), shared in the “48 Hours” episode titled “Psychological manipulation: An expert explains parental alienation“ parental Alienation is when one parent tells the other parent that the other parent is no good at all, and they even bribe the child to believe this idea by giving them toys, more affection, more love. What happens is the child starts believing these ideas. Psychologists usually find out if a child has been alienated from the other parent by asking questions. For example, the child would say, “I hate my dad.” And the psychologist would ask, “Well, why do you hate your dad?” And the child would say, “Well, I don’t really know.” So there’s no concrete real reason to hate him, other than the other parent has said, “This person is no good,” and this and that.”

What are some reasons why a parent would do that? Aside from just being vindictive, spiteful or hateful? If the other person is presumably healthy, we’re talking about stable adults, what would be the reason behind that?

I think I hurt people, hurt people. I think the thought is that if you can get at your ex by keeping away something they love dearly, which is unfortunately a child, why wouldn’t they do it? But unfortunately, you end up hurting the child. Some people come from broken homes, and they think that because they grew up with just one parent, that might be best for their child but research proves otherwise.

Does parental alienation happen even when there’s a regular equitable split of parental rights, even in a regular situation where there’s dual custody? Is parental alienation a problem?

In some cases, not all. If both parents can equally agree to 50–50 custody and not go to court, that means the relationship between them is good and they’ll work towards building the child up rather than making the child take sides. When you start with 50–50, there is less likelihood that one parent will alienate the child from the other parent. Once you’re at the starting point where there’s less visitation rates to one of them, then that’s a ripe environment for parental alienation. So really, the two are connected. Basically, unequal visitation rights leads more to parental alienation.

So can you think of a few things that can be done, whether it’s getting community support or whether there are other things, individual actions that can be done to change this law? What can be done to change the federal law to guarantee equal parental rights?

Vocal support is very important. What we need to do is go speak to representatives and demand that we change these laws because they’re unfair, not just for the father, but for the child. One thing you can do is speak to your local representatives and demand that they adopt the new bill that was adopted in Florida and Virginia.

Another thing is to educate local judges, because they’re the ones who make the decisions. Educate them on scientific evidence that shows it’s beneficial for the child to have both parents, not just one. Those are two things you can do and that I am doing.

You can also join other local support groups in your state that advocate for this.

That’s fascinating. So just to clarify one of the ideas you mentioned, can a local judge decide to override the standard and say this child should have equal parental rights?

Yes and no. Most judges follow a protocol where the only way they will grant 50–50 custody is if you can prove the mother is inadequate to be the primary custodial parent. That’s if you can catch her committing a felony or using drugs. Let’s say you haven’t gotten any evidence, but you’re a good father, you will not get 50–50 custody. They’ll still follow what is presumed in the state for the mother to be the primary parent.

The interesting thing about family law, as I’ve discovered, is that for example, if you are criminally charged with a crime, you’re able to get a jury. If you go to court for custodial parenting, you don’t have the right to have a jury. The judge makes the decision, you don’t know if that judge is pro-dad or pro-mom. It’s a gamble every time.

A mother could willingly agree to have equal parental rights. This situation is only when the mother wants to give the bare minimum. Correct? So talking to mothers out there who may be in this situation, what argument would you give to them why they should consent to have equal visiting rights? Why should they want to share their child with their ex?

At one point in your life, that person you had a child with, you used to love them and care for them and you wanted to have a child with them, right? Why are you going to deny the child the opportunity to grow up with a father because you and this person no longer love each other? You don’t have to have a relationship with them, but your child deserves the right to know their father and learn from them.

Women have an amazing job. Women are nourishing and loving. You can’t take the job of a woman. And the same goes for men. Men will teach the child things a woman cannot. I really want to advocate for women to allow the other party to be a part of that child’s life, not for the father, but for the child.

So if a child wants, at what point can a child say, does a child have to be 18 for their opinion to be listened to when they say they would like to have equal rights? At what point does a child’s desires come into play?

Each state is different, so bear with me. Here in Georgia, the child can go to the judge and say, “I want to spend more time with dad or mom” by the age of 13. So when they’re 13 years old, they can do that.

That’s fascinating. I didn’t know that. What resources would you encourage people to read about why, number one, you would change the law? Number two, why is it important to have equal parental rights? What resources would you encourage people to read and learn more about?

There are many — books, podcasts, psychology articles. There’s a great YouTube documentary I encourage people to watch called “Parental Alienation”, and it talks about the effects it has on children

How can our readers learn more about the work that you’re doing? How could they support the work that you’re doing? How could they continue to support what you’re doing?

You can support what I’m doing by going to your local representatives and voicing that you want the bill that was passed in Florida and Virginia to be passed in your state. I also recommend that you watch “Parental Alienation” on YouTube. It’s an incredible film and I suggest you share it with all your friends.

Amazing. Well, Kyle, it’s been a delight to speak to you. You seem like an amazing father and I wish you continued success, good health and blessings. I commend you on this important work.

I appreciate you, sir. Thank you very much for having me.

It’s really my pleasure.