Laura Bakosh of Inner Explorer On The 5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School

Published in

Authority Magazine

13 min readOct 19, 2021

Just be; When you and your children intentionally bring awareness to the present moment, connecting to the in and out of your breathing throughout the day, you’ll notice an expansiveness begins to emerge. It settles the fight/flight reactivity and gives you a moment to experience whatever you’re experiencing. No agenda, no schedule, no buzzing and beeping notifications. The majority of inventors and patent holders will confirm that this is the space where creativity thrives.

School is really not easy these days. Many students have been out of school for a long time because of the pandemic, and the continued disruptions and anxieties are still breaking the flow of normal learning. What can parents do to help their children thrive and excel in school, particularly during these challenging and anxiety-provoking times?

To address this, we started a new series called ‘5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School.” In this interview series, we are talking to teachers, principals, education experts, and successful parents to learn from their insights and experience.

As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure to interview Laura Bakosh, Ph.D.

Laura Bakosh, Ph.D., is a mindfulness teacher, published researcher and co-founder of Inner Explorer, a non-profit organization that brings mindfulness-based social-emotional learning (MBSEL) programming to preschool through high school classrooms. She earned a Bachelor of Science degree from Boston College, a Ph.D. from Sofia University, was trained as a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) instructor through the Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts, is an Allstate Foundation Non-Profit Fellow and a lead partner on the LG Electronics USA -Experience Happiness Initiative.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us a bit about your “backstory”?

I was a business major in college and began my career working for a handful of large multinational corporations, including Northern Telecom, EMC and GE, in sales and marketing roles. As I took on more responsibility, I experienced more stress and anxiety. I found I couldn’t sleep and was turning to unhealthy coping strategies to try to calm my nerves and quiet the nagging voice in my head. Of course, we all have an inner voice, in fact, most people have between 5,000 to 10,000 thoughts a day. If you pause to quietly notice your thoughts, even count them for just 1 minute, you’ll see how “busy” our thinking really is. What’s really challenging is about 80% of those thoughts are negative, sometimes referred to as the negativity bias or your ‘inner critic’ — prompting thoughts of worry, fear, and regret. Sadly, research also shows that 95% of our negative thoughts are the same as the day before! As Mark Twain famously said, “I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.”

For me, it was like I was going deeper into a hole of despair, and it was getting harder and harder to climb out. I knew something had to change. I was introduced to Lisa Grady, a mindfulness teacher, and I began learning more about the benefits of daily practice. Since then, for 28 years and counting, I have been practicing mindfulness nearly every day. Pretty quickly, the stress and anxiety subsided and were replaced with gratitude and purpose. Over time I had greater success at work, felt better, slept better and transformed the inner critic to become a trusted guide. Many people don’t realize that they are actually in charge of their inner voice. I can say without hesitation that practicing mindfulness each day was, and still is, the best decision I have made in support of my health and happiness, my relationships and my career.

My experiences practicing mindfulness while at GE and research helped me understand why children affected by poverty struggle in school. Their brain development is being hijacked by stress. I felt compelled to find a way to bring mindfulness to school children so they could develop in the healthiest ways possible. While I LOVED my years at GE, I decided to go to grad school to study this field, conduct my own research and figure out how to effectively bring mindfulness programming to PK-12 classrooms in a way that was easy and sustainable. That is where my Inner Explorer journey began.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

While an executive at a multinational company, I took over a team that had the worst overall performance in the company. They were missing their deadlines, worked ineffectively together and were even hostile to one another. By then, I’d been practicing mindfulness for several years prior to taking on this new role and had been asked many times to share what I was doing to stay level and focused amid feelings of pressure and turmoil. Since this occurred in the late 1990s/early 2000s, I had yet to discuss mindfulness in-depth as it wasn’t yet well understood, but due to the struggles of my new team, I invited Lisa, who trained me, to develop and deliver a mindfulness program for my team at our annual meeting. Over a few days, she led the team in her “Corporate Athlete program,” which framed mindfulness in terms of peak performance. After the training, the team was given tools to practice mindfulness every day in addition to weekly coaching sessions to help sustain this new habit. Within 3 months, the team was noticeably more cohesive, happy and collaborative; within 6 months they were operating at a high level with orders, margin and customer satisfaction skyrocketing. Within a year, they had transitioned from the worst-performing team to the best. The changes were so profound that different division heads were asking if their teams could join our session the following year. We kept this going for 3 years and the team was known internally as the “dream team.” Through the team’s success, what I heard most often was “I wish I had learned mindfulness when I was a kid.”

I realized from this experience how transferable and beneficial learning these practices early can be in all aspects of your personal growth and why it is so important to start learning them from a young age.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” ~T.S. Eliot

Some experts would say that the world within us is as vast as the world around us. A big statement, yet, points to the depth of understanding that can be developed when you begin to explore your inner world of thoughts, emotions, experiences, etc. To know thyself paves the path towards a happy and satisfying life. I mentioned above that on average we have 5,000–10,000 thoughts a day — what I didn’t mention is that over half of them are unconscious. So, if 80% of the time we have negative thought patterns and the majority are outside of our awareness, our minds are basically a runaway train — defining our behaviors and ultimately our lives, and we aren’t even the conductor. We’re just hoping the train doesn’t jump the track. Bringing awareness to these patterns is the best way to understand them while keeping the train on the rails and going where we want to go, or even getting off at the next station and rerouting if we choose.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Mindful/Mental Health

For 28 years now, I have prioritized daily mindfulness practice as a way to foster my mental health and wellbeing. In such an intense world, it provides an accessible respite. The breath is always with you and in just a minute with 5 or 6 focused inhales and exhales, you can settle your central nervous system (fight/flight) and change your entire perspective on a situation. It can be difficult to do in the middle of a stressful moment, which is why practice is so important. When you practice for a few minutes every day, you literally become better and better at managing stress.

Positive Outlook/Resilience

As I mentioned, my inner voice is now oriented toward the goal of helping as many children as possible tap into their potential and purpose. Inner Explorer’s partnership with LG Electronics USA and its Experience Happiness program is instrumental in delivering this to youth all across the country. There is no doubt that one day, mindfulness practices will be as common as brushing your teeth. It’s no longer an if, but a when. With 2 out of 3 children experiencing trauma and stress, referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs study), I absolutely believe that if they practice mindfulness each day, they can shift their trajectory from trauma to triumph. In fact, an example I can share with you is when we worked with a 5th-grade student in Cleveland who was terrified when his mother was brutally beaten by a gang member. She was hospitalized and he was certain they would come back and get him too. In school the next day, he took a science test and got an A. His teacher knew what had happened to his mom and asked him how he managed to do so well. He explained that “mindfulness helps me focus and not be so scared.” There are so many examples of kids developing resilience to trauma and even positivity amid chaos.

Commitment

As a child, I was taught that showing up and working hard could level almost any playing field. Changing the school day so that mindfulness is as common as math, is certainly a challenge. Yet this skill is foundational to everything that comes after it. If kids are stress resilient, happy, thriving, and confident, they will have better performance, better relationships, better ideas, fewer disorders, less anger and violence. That means fewer kids escaping into drugs and self-harm and fewer kids being drawn into toxic and abusive relationships. We get asked all the time if we have an anti-bullying program, an anti-violence program, a social equity program, a human trafficking awareness program, or an anti-drug program. We say yes, it’s the same “program” which is simply a daily mindfulness practice. I show up every day and work to find ways to help people understand that this is true prevention. If we fund this upstream prevention, as LG’s Experience Happiness initiative is doing, it naturally promotes downstream mental health, resilience and, yes, happiness for our kids.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Yes, we have some incredible upcoming projects. First, Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD), the 2nd largest district in the US, is in the process of implementing Inner Explorer in every one of their 1200+ schools! It is especially exciting as they were one of the first districts to benefit from the LG grant when the Experience Happiness program was launched 4 years ago. The impact on student and educator wellbeing has been so compelling that the district expanded it so that all students and educators could benefit. The project even includes Inner Explorer access for all families through the InnerExplorer@Home app. Together we are providing stress resilience and happiness skills in classrooms and homes.

Another innovative project is the Mindful Michigan Initiative, which allows every school in Michigan to access Inner Explorer over a 3-year period. The initial phase is being funded by incredible organizations including the Skillman Foundation, LG Electronics USA, Comcast Foundation (check out this 30-second PSA) and others. Together, these partners are providing a way for millions of Michigan children, in early learning centers, schools, after-school centers and juvenile detention centers, to develop focus, emotional regulation, school readiness and a host of other positive life skills.

For the benefit of our readers, can you tell us a bit why you are an authority about how to help children succeed in school?

For 28 years I’ve been immersed in the field of mindfulness in education. My Ph.D. dissertation as well as several published studies were on the academic and behavioral impact of daily mindfulness programming on PK-12 students. As one of the co-founders of Inner Explorer, along with Janice Houlihan, M.Ed., I have witnessed, researched, and presented on how these practices support the gifted student, the average student, the struggling student and the special ed student. Regardless of the starting point, mindfulness has repeatedly been shown to optimize brain function and support healthy habits of mind. Our work now is focused on systemic changes in education, namely, how to embed these brief practices into every classroom and center every day in a way that is scalable, sustainable and cost-effective.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. Can you help articulate the main challenges that students face today that make it difficult to succeed in school?

Stress in our society has been climbing for decades with a recent study showing 81% of students reporting chronic stress! Some consider our current mental health crisis the ‘epidemic behind the pandemic.’ Additionally, as referenced in the work we do with LG’s Experience Happiness program, when in school, teens are considered the most stressed-out demographic. And from what we know from neuroscience, chronic stress triggers the fight/flight network and blocks higher-order thinking. In essence, kids are more triggered and likely to become over-reactive and less likely to be able to focus, regulate their emotions and learn.

Can you suggest a few reforms that you think schools should make to help students to thrive and excel?

There is one change that would significantly improve nearly every measure of school success (grades, test scores, behavior, attendance, graduation rates, achievement gap, school culture/climate, student and educator health and wellbeing, teacher turnover, etc.). If every classroom in every school and center started every day with 10 minutes of mindfulness practice (students and educators seated with eyes closed or gazing downward and guided to focus attention inward), every outcome mentioned above would improve.

This is exactly the goal we’re trying to accomplish through Experience Happiness — we want to provide youth with the resources needed to implement and sustain mental health curriculum for kids to practice daily. We’re proud to partner in LG’s journey to reach 5.5 million youth by the Spring of 2022 with these resources. This approach would also benefit every educator, reducing stress and burnout, as they participate with the students in the daily practice.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “5 Things Parents Can Do To Help Their Children Thrive and Excel In School?” Please share a story or example for each.

1. Biology before behavior.

As I mentioned above, stress triggers a cascade of biological events, causing children to be reactive and dysregulated — in other words acting out and popping off, while blocking thinking and learning. Using strategies like mindfulness to counteract this biological hijacking helps kids behave in ways that are conducive to learning and thriving.

2. Practice together.

Most adults I know say they would like to find ways to reduce their own stress. As a parent, I practice with my 17-year-old son. We’ve been practicing together since he was a toddler. He has some days where he’s not that into it and other days where he jumps onto the couch and closes his eyes before I start playing the practice. It has made us closer, has helped him develop these really important skills we’ve been discussing, and it is, by far, my favorite time of the day. If you practice these skills with your children, you will be modeling healthy strategies that promote self-care and wellbeing. There’s no time like the present to begin. Start today.

3. Make space for connection (weave in the 6 skills).

There is compelling research that backs LG’s Experience Happiness program that shows that 6 learnable skills lead to happiness — mindfulness, gratitude, generosity, purpose, positive outlook and human connection. There are actions you can take together with your kids regularly that will build this capacity. Practicing mindfulness together is one. You can also invite your children to write a letter of gratitude to someone who has helped them, maybe a coach, teacher, family member or peer. Another option is to express generosity by volunteering together for an organization that is meaningful to you, maybe an animal shelter, or food bank. Or even simply spend a few minutes discussing the best parts of you and your child’s day, what was inspiring and purposeful for each of you.

4. Just be.

When you and your children intentionally bring awareness to the present moment, connecting to the in and out of your breathing throughout the day, you’ll notice an expansiveness begins to emerge. It settles the fight/flight reactivity and gives you a moment to experience whatever you’re experiencing. No agenda, no schedule, no buzzing and beeping notifications. The majority of inventors and patent holders will confirm that this is the space where creativity thrives.

5. Bring mindfulness into your school district.

Many educators are unfamiliar with these practices. As well, it can be challenging to consistently do these practices at home with multiple kids and multiple activities. Yet, it is an ideal fit within the school curriculum because it’s proven to improve grades in most subjects including reading, math, and science and activates happiness skills including gratitude and generosity. As a bonus, it benefits teachers by giving them a few moments to pause during the day, connecting with students as they learn together.

As you know, teachers play such a huge role in shaping young lives. What would you suggest needs to be done to attract top talent to the education field?

As noted above, we need to address the issue of teacher burnout. Study after study shows that teachers are leaving the field in record numbers, and fewer are selecting teaching as a career because of the stress, particularly as a result of COVID. However, when teachers engage in stress reduction practices with their students, they experience a greater sense of wellbeing and ease and notice fewer behavioral issues in the classroom. This reignites the passion that led them to teach in the first place. As well, those considering teaching would likely be inspired if they could be a part of the decision process related to the “whole-child” curriculum and school culture.

We are blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)

Pierre and Pam Omidyar

Bill Gates

Jill Biden

Lady Gaga

Anderson Cooper

Secretary Cardona

Each could help build awareness and investment in mindfulness as a school-based program to transform Pk-12 education.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

Contact me at LBakosh@InnerExplorer.org.

Website www.InnerExplorer.org

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/InnerExplorer/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/inner-explorer-inc-