Laura Saltman: I Lost A Loved One To Suicide and Here Is What You Should Know

An interview with Pirie Jones Grossman

Don’t feel guilty and it was your “fault” or that you could have done something differently. We are each in charge of our destiny in life and those who are willing to heal can and those who don’t take the steps offered to them and stay consistent in getting better have made the choice to leave physical life are doing their best but may not be able to make it out of their circumstances.

Losing a loved one to suicide is a heart-wrenching experience. It can also be confusing, and it usually comes with a lot of mixed-up feelings, including anger and guilt. What are some things that family members would like other people to know about losing a loved one to suicide? As a part of this interview series, I had the distinct pleasure to interview Laura Saltman.

Laura Saltman is a mindfulness, meditation and metaphysical teacher as well as an author, speaker and media host. She is a conscious channel and psychic medium who has written four books on spiritual laws/principles through a voice called “The All.” Laura began her career in television and is an Emmy-nominated producer and correspondent who has worked for shows like Access Hollywood, E! News, Today and On Air with Ryan Seacrest.

Thank you for your bravery and strength in being so open with us. I personally understand how hard this is. Before we dive in, can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?

I started my career in Hollywood and spent 20 years working on red carpets interviewing celebrities and newsmakers. However, after my dad’s suicide I took a break from the industry to grieve and discovered an entirely new career path working in mental wellbeing through spiritual practices and principles.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

I currently help others discover what I call their “Infinite abilities “and divine connection to Source as well as working with clients 1:1 who are navigating through stress, grief and depression.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

“There is a power outside of you, but also there is the power within. They are one and the same.” This is a quote from my The All series and it represents that there is no separation with our divine self. We just think there is and live our life trying to stumble through and find answers externally that always exists within.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Do you feel comfortable sharing with our readers about your loss?

In 2015 I lost my dad to suicide. He drowned himself in a lake near my home after struggling with mental health issues for several years. The final impetus for taking his own life was the suffering he went through after my brother died from cancer at age 47. He lived with crippling guilt and shame that his son went before he did. I believe he felt it wasn’t fair that a father should live and a child die. He had already been struggling with anxiety and depression after retiring which led to a short stay at a mental health facility where he lost control of his mind. Fortunately, through medication and therapy we got him back on track and he was doing better for a couple of years but my brother’s terminal cancer diagnosis put him right back into the depression. I think leaving his career behind and having more time to think caused his mental breakdown. He needed purpose and when he didn’t have it the mind gets busy with all the negative aspects to life.

What was the scariest part of it? What did you think was the worst thing that could happen to you?

The scariest part was when he first had his mental breakdown. We knew he had guns in the house and so we immediately took them to a pawn shop. This is something any family should do if someone in the home has any signs of depression. Unfortunately, we didn’t think about the knives. So in one suicide attempt my dad tried to slit his wrists and couldn’t go through with it. He came back and told us he was “attacked by a bob cat” which was honestly ridiculous. I knew deep down he was lying and it was only a few weeks before he died that he admitted he lied.

How did you react in the short term?

We did everything in our power to get him the proper help but the mental health care in this country is very challenging to navigate and the pharmaceuticals are not a perfect science. I wish I had known then of the alternative and complimentary therapies around healing. However, someone has to be willing and I don’t think my dad was capable of breaking free from his grief over my brother’s death. I believe he intended to die regardless so he could be with his son.

After the dust settled, what coping mechanisms did you use?

My son was my saving grace. He got me out of bed every morning but then after a couple of month’s I met a spiritual life coach who helped set me on a track to healing.

Can you share with us how you were eventually able to heal, at least to some degree?

The first thing I did was attend grief counseling and to be honest that actually made me feel more sure that a spiritual path was more of my path to healing. You think you are the only one who has the tragic story but then you meet others going through even worse pain and I realized I was actually doing better than I thought. Also I believe it was my understanding that death is not the end but just a change in circumstance that helped me. I had visited mediums for over twenty years and knew we carry on and later started to awaken my own mediumship which I now do as a fulltime job.

In my own grief journey, I found writing to be cathartic. Did you engage in any writing during that time, such as journaling, poetry, or writing letters? If yes, we’d love to hear about any stories or examples.

I started journaling my thoughts after my dad died and I have about 20 or 30 of them now. Those journals eventually became the impetus for writing my own The All book series. I had so many questions I needed answered and having been inspired by Neale Donald Walsch’s Conversation with God series, I simply began asking everything I felt I needed to know and received those answers back as my higher self kicked in.

Aside from letting go, what did you do to create an internal, emotional shift to feel better?

The amount of tools that exist to help manage grief is vast currently. I worked with a coach, became a coach, studied all things spirituality from Reiki, to mediumship, clairvoyance, past lives, EFT tapping and more. I also learned a lot about the brain and its operating system which helped blend science and spirituality into a singular concept.

Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to cope and heal? Can you share a story about that?

Well, I truly believe now that we are each responsible for our own inner healing so those we go to in asking are simply facilitators of the knowledge we already know inside. Even as a psychic and life coach I always remind people it’s their inner intention to heal which brought them to me. However, it was my coach Kim Stanwood Terranova who reminded me of the power of intention and using the tools of Source to engage with love and self expression to heal.

What did you learn about yourself from this very difficult experience? Can you please explain with a story or example?

I learned we hold the key to our transformation and we have to stay in daily connection to our Infinite self in order to uproot the old narratives of our mind and disconnect from our stories and habits. I learned we can’t end grief but rather discover a happiness beyond the physical connections with the people we love. They may not be with us in body but they remain active as spirit if we are open to their messages and signs. Lots of people are not receiving them because they don’t believe or don’t know how but once you do it becomes a new relationship that defies time and space and earth.

What did you do to get help and support for yourself?

I took my time grieving, took a break from work, asked for help and support from a coach and mentor and haven’t stopped learning everyday how to be happy.

What signs would you tell parents, friends or loved ones to look for in people they think may need help?

Everyone is suffering from a silent something. I would tell people to look for signs of depression or an inability to cope with life.

1. Are they lazy? Meaning do they not get out of bed right away or sleep all day? Not actively participating in life is a pretty good indicator of depression.
2. Are they consumed with the chaos of the world and is it impacting them emotionally spending too much time worrying about our future?
3. Are they coping with life by numbing themselves with distractions like social media, alcohol, sex, food or other external addictions?
4. Do they talk about death a lot and wonder what happens or express that they are existing and not living?
5. Do they stop talking to friends or acquaintances or answering texts or calls from people they usually like?
6. Are they showcasing bad habits like hoarding, messy or uncleanliness?
7. Do they seem more quiet and reserved than normal and keeping to themselves more often?
8. Do they avoid eye contact hoping no one spots their depression?
9. Do they say no to experiences and being outdoors or going to events and parties?

Thank you for sharing all of this. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experiences and knowledge, what are five things you want people to know about losing a loved one to suicide?

Please share a story or example for each.

1. Don’t feel guilty and it was your “fault” or that you could have done something differently. We are each in charge of our destiny in life and those who are willing to heal can and those who don’t take the steps offered to them and stay consistent in getting better have made the choice to leave physical life are doing their best but may not be able to make it out of their circumstances.
2. Make time every day to practice gratitude. Its impact overtime is massive and impacts our brain on a deep level that we can’t feel on a daily basis but overtime brings more happiness to the forefront of the mind.
3. Everyone’s journey with grief is different so never judge someone’s else’s process or timing. Yes, I am doing well and happy and helping others but I recognize my particular circumstances and where I am in my spiritual journey is different than others.
4. I can’t tell you how many people have ignored my posts on social media, podcasts I have shared on suicide or any comments about it because it makes them uncomfortable. Let’s talk about suicide. Let’s share resources. Let’s encourage everyone to be open and honest about mental health. Don’t ignore it when people post about it. Offer condolences and love and support.
5. Ask about our loved ones. Ask us to share stories or discuss the lessons we have learned. Our loved ones live on in our hearts and the joy we express about who they were gives us a perfect hit of dopamine and serotonin which makes us love them all the more and gives us hope.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Recognize that death is only a change in our reality. We don’t end, we begin again back in the form of our true self. I would encourage everyone to find their truth of who they are on a spiritual and metaphysical level. I believe the past life work I do is the most impactful thing we can do around mental health on a mind level because it shows us what themes we are moving through and how to release them so we don’t continue to repeat that. It impacts you sometimes even on a cellular level and to experience the choices we made before is magnificent in so many ways. You don’t have to die in order to live in love.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

No one is more special than anyone else. We are same on the inside and metaphysically. So I would love to have a conversation with all the CEO’s of the top companies and explain how we as humans can take care of everyone on the planet.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

You can visit my website at laurasaltman.com to discover how I help people access their inner healer and to learn about my The All books and you can follow me on social media @laurasaltman on FB, IG, Twitter and Tik Tok

Thank you so much for your courage in telling your story. We greatly appreciate your time, and we wish you only continued success and good health.

About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!