Laurie James: 5 Things You Need to Know to Become a Great Author

An Interview With Theresa Albert

Find a supportive writing group. When I first started writing, a friend invited me into a writing support group where we’d read our work out loud and give feedback to each other. It was a great way to build my confidence, receive constructive criticism, and know that I wasn’t the only one struggling with the inner critic voices. The group experience gave me the confidence to keep writing and sign up for another writing course.

As part of my interview series on the five things you need to know to become a great author, I had the pleasure of interviewing Laurie James.

Laurie James has successfully launched four daughters, has been the primary caretaker for her elderly parents, and is the founder of a transformative coaching program in Manhattan Beach, California, that helps women find more happiness in their daily in lives. An active community volunteer, she co-chairs a youth program for high school students, exposing them to a variety of career paths before they apply to college. Laurie graduated from Cal Poly Pomona with a BS in business and was a corporate recruiter before she stayed home to raise her four daughters. When she’s not walking her dog, volunteering, promoting her book or coaching, you can find her skiing, sailing, hiking, spending time with her girlfriends or planning her next adventure. This is her debut book.

Thank you so much for joining us! Can you share a story about what brought you to this particular career path?

Unlike many writers, I never had a deep desire to become an author. I didn’t write in a journal growing up, and when my high school teacher gave me a blank page to write a story, my mind went blank, too. In many ways, my book not only found me, but it saved me during a period in my life when I was taken down a tumultuous path I didn’t see coming, beginning when my mother suddenly fell ill. The tables quickly turned from her helping me with my teen and pre-teen daughters to my needing to oversee her care, the care of my dad, and hiring caregivers for both of them. During the first seven years, I caught caregivers drinking on the job and stealing from us. One person emotionally seduced my dad, and another stopped giving my mom her medicine and told me she thought my mother was ready to die. Each time, I replaced the caregiver, but it was difficult to find trustworthy help. I’d cry and laugh because I couldn’t have made these things up if I’d tried.

This was also a period in my life when I was raising four daughters and my marriage was beginning to fall apart. I’d tell my husband and close friends about the caregiver’s antics and they encouraged me to write a book. I called that version of my story The Caregiver Chronicles. I cringed at the idea of writing — I didn’t see myself as a writer. I was a mother, wife, and caregiver. But the thought of writing about these mis-adventures returned every time another caregiver story surfaced.

One weekend, while I was on a yoga retreat, I was talking to a fellow yogi and writer who encouraged me to start writing. Something shifted that weekend, and I wrote my first few pages. That was the beginning of learning how to become a writer and storyteller. Six months later, I signed up for a beginning memoir writing course through UCLA extension. After taking a couple of courses with UCLA, a friend told me about a six-month memoir-writing program in the Bay Area. While in the six-month program, I found a wonderful coach and mentor who believed in me. The writing process became a form of meditation for me and it helped me make sense of what was happening and why. After I left my marriage, I realized my story wasn’t just about overseeing my parent’s care and managing caregivers — my story was broader and encompassed my life journey. My coach worked with me to craft my jumbled thoughts into a story. I wrote, wrote, and rewrote my story for several more years, and the process became a much needed creative outlet. Five years later I finished my book, Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding on and Letting Go.

Can you share the most interesting story that occurred to you in the course of your career?

It’s more of an overall observation. Since I’ve pivoted and become an author and life coach, I’m often pleasantly surprised at how supportive my friends, family, fellow authors and my publishing company have been. I’ve heard the traditional publishing world isn’t always that easy to work with. I didn’t always have that type of support when I was a recruiter in the corporate world. Needless to say, it’s been a pleasant change.

What was the biggest challenge you faced in your journey to becoming an author? How did you overcome it? Can you share a story about that that other aspiring writers can learn from?

My biggest challenge was my inner critic. When I began writing, I didn’t have any previous experience as a writer, so I had little confidence in my skills. I didn’t even know if I wanted to publish my book, but I kept writing anyway. My coach said, “Write as if no one will read it.” So I did. Then the pendulum swung the other direction and I discovered that I’d written far too many words for the book. At times, the many rounds of edits became arduous, but it was also meditative and cathartic. The more I wrote and edited, the better my writing became, and over time my confidence grew. I tried to not get overwhelmed by what I had to do weeks or months ahead. I kept taking small steps forward. Now I have my first published book.

My advice for other aspiring writers is to find a writing routine that works for them and start by writing an hour each day. Take smalls steps by adding five minutes to your writing time each month until you reach two hours a day, five days a week. Quiet your inner critic when it rears its ugly head and don’t let anyone read your work before you’re ready. You will accomplish your dream and your voice deserves to be heard.

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

After working on a chapter for several hours, I’d send my writing coach a chapter. I’d be so proud of what I wrote and when I received it back, it would be covered in blue corrections and comments telling me I was off to a good start. Other times, I’d send her a chapter and think it was awful and she’d send it back and tell me it was great! It took time for me to hone in on the craft and it’s something I continue to work on — there’s always room for improvement.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?

I’m every excited that I enrolled in the life coach training class with Martha Beck. Martha is a PhD, a Harvard-trained sociologist, a world-renowned coach, and a New York Times bestselling author.

Martha started coaching over twenty years ago and now she offers a certified eight-month program. Her coach training is a mind-body centered approach that’s science and research based. I’ve always enjoyed helping others and after years of my own self-discovery that I have written about, it seemed like a natural next step. Now, I help women who are searching for happiness and guide them as they discover what that means to them.

Can you share the most interesting story that you shared in your book?

I’m adopted and so are my two older brothers. In my memoir, I share that in my early fifties, I found out that my adopted parents had adopted a little girl in between my oldest brother and my middle brother. When the baby was around six months old, the birth mother asked for her back. As a mother, I couldn’t imagine caring for a newborn as your own and getting a phone call that your child is being taken away. Learning this helped explain many aspects of my relationship with my mom that I didn’t understand as a child.

What is the main empowering lesson you want your readers to take away after finishing your book?

It sounds so cliché, but I want my readers to know that I believe we all deserve happiness, and most importantly, we have the power to change our lives if we choose. It doesn’t matter if it’s a job, marriage, a thorny friendship, or children that’s causing your unhappiness. Our fear and anxiety of the unknown can grip us tight and keep us in a state of suffering. I speak from experience. It took me years to develop the strength and courage to change what wasn’t working in my life and now I’m happier than I’ve ever been.

Based on your experience, what are the “5 Things You Need to Know to Become a Great Author”? Please share a story or example for each.

1. Practice makes better, not perfect. When I look back at my first drafts, I want to cringe and it was that way through most of my edits. It wasn’t until the last round of edits that I felt satisfied with my writing. That’s when I knew I was ready for others to read it.
2. Find a writing routine that works for you and stick to it. After my first year, I developed a routine of writing each morning while it was quiet in my house. I started with writing one hour each day and slowly added time, until it turned into two and sometimes three hours.
3. Write for yourself and from your heart. Write what you’d like to read. Don’t try and write the next American novel. It’s more genuine that way.
4. Find a supportive writing group. When I first started writing, a friend invited me into a writing support group where we’d read our work out loud and give feedback to each other. It was a great way to build my confidence, receive constructive criticism, and know that I wasn’t the only one struggling with the inner critic voices. The group experience gave me the confidence to keep writing and sign up for another writing course.
5. Find the right coach and/or editor for you. After a year of writing, I found a wonderful coach and editor who worked with me for the next several years to craft my experiences into a story.

What is the one habit you believe contributed the most to you becoming a great writer? (i.e. perseverance, discipline, play, craft study) Can you share a story or example?

For me it was perseverance, but that’s my personality. Malcolm Gladwell’s popular term, “10,000 hours is the ‘Tipping-Point’ of greatness.” I didn’t keep track of how many hours it took me to write my book even though it felt like a million. The truth is, the more time any of us spend learning and practicing a new craft, the better we become.

Which literature do you draw inspiration from? Why?

I love fiction, non-fiction, and self-help books, but while writing my memoir, I drew most of my inspiration from other female memoirists I admired and who were great storytellers. I’d often pick up a book and read a few paragraphs just to get my creative juices flowing. I read Wild by Cheryl Strayed, The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, Inheritance by Dani Shapiro, Love Warrior and Untamed by Glennon Doyle, Educated by Tara Westover, and Song of the Plains by Linda Joy Myers.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

Helping women and children has always pulled at my heartstrings. Changing the trajectory of women and children’s lives will change the trajectory of our world. If I had the time, I’d start a movement that would help the most vulnerable. An age-appropriate life skills program centered around helping people build on their strengths, teach interpersonal skills, develop a process for them to find fulfilling work, these would all help them develop their confidence. We need to lift each other up and find ways to promote a better future.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

My website is www.laurieejames.com

FB: Laurie James

IG: laurie.james

Thank you so much for this. This was very inspiring!