Leading with Heart: Jill Fowler of Songbird Leadership On The Power of Authentic Women’s Leadership

An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman

Leading with Compassion: Having genuine concern for people at all levels of your organization, combined with the desire to help them, will better position everyone for success. Treat your team with kindness and maturity. Be curious, not judgmental. Trust them to be responsible and do the right thing. Care! Most will find this refreshing because, sadly, it’s not the norm, and they’ll flourish as a result.

In today’s dynamic world, the concept of leadership is continuously evolving. While traditional leadership models have often been male-dominated, there is a growing recognition of the unique strengths and perspectives that women bring to these roles. This series aims to explore how women can become more effective leaders by authentically embracing their femininity and innate strengths, rather than conforming to traditional male leadership styles. In this series, we are talking to successful women leaders, coaches, authors, and experts who can provide insights and personal stories on how embracing their inherent feminine qualities has enhanced their leadership abilities. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Jill Fowler.

Jill Fowler is passionate about helping nonprofit leaders gain clarity, control, and peace of mind by creating and achieving meaningful goals. As Founder & CEO of Songbird Leadership, she has dedicated her career to supporting the efforts of those who serve others. Jill believes all nonprofit organizations deserve focused leadership, a motivated and effective team, a fully engaged board, and truly strategic goals to best serve their mission and allow our community to thrive.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I began working in the nonprofit sector early in my career. It was meaningful work that served our community well. The people I worked with shared my passions and interests, they had interesting stories and knowledge, and they were driven by mission-based work in a way I had never witnessed before. I had found my tribe.

After working in the philanthropic space for over a decade and focusing my first master’s degree on the sector, I took a role within the small business community. It was a pivotal move, as my experience over the next decade-plus really helped me craft and perfect a unique leadership style that would serve others well.

During this time, I continued to stay active in the nonprofit arena. I served on boards, provided strategic planning services on the side, and volunteered. But none of these activities completely scratched the growing itch I was feeling to return to the service sector on a full-time basis. In order to experience true professional joy, I knew I needed to once again be fully engaged in the type of community-based work that made my heart full for so many years. I quit my job and launched Songbird Leadership, an executive coaching, strategic planning, and capacity building firm serving nonprofit organizations.

Today, I’m helping nonprofit executives excel as leaders and assisting organizations in realizing sustainable goals, all while supporting their incredible impacts on our community. It’s fulfilling work and I couldn’t be happier.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

Like everyone, I have experienced a host of anecdotal happenings throughout my career. Each provides an amusing story I can share at parties, but the single interesting experience that has gripped me for 25-plus years and counting was becoming a licensed bird bander.

Ever since I was a toddler, I have had an interest in birds. I even named my business, Songbird Leadership, after them. Early on in my career, I was working at a nature center where I came upon an ornithologist who banded birds. I was fascinated by his stories of research and conservation efforts. He agreed to take me on as an apprentice, teaching me everything I needed to know in order to obtain my own bird banding permit. In the years that followed, I spent hundreds of hours doing field research and hosting educational programs for local natural science organizations, banding everything from hummingbirds to eagles. In addition to having amazing hands-on experiences with a species I adore, I was also fortunate to meet and learn from talented scientists, contribute to international research, and share my passion with others in a meaningful way. I continue to band birds today and, even though I have banded tens of thousands of them over the years, each one is as exciting to me a the first.

So how does all of this relate to my career? While I was employed as a bird bander for a time, the majority of my banding experience has been as a volunteer. Service is a strong personal value of mine, and it is also a core value of my business. Throughout my time as a bird banding volunteer, I gained so many skills that are applicable to my professional life today. I became a better public speaker by giving hundreds of talks in the community. I became a better collaborator and leader by working closely with my field research team. My data collection and research skills were tremendously sharpened, which is a huge asset as a strategic planner. I highly recommend volunteerism as a way to not only have some truly amazing life experiences, but to also gain invaluable professional skills; all while supporting worthy organizations in our community.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

I take a holistic approach with my clients, which means I can be a true partner and support their entire organization’s sustainable growth. For instance, not only can I help with executive leadership coaching on the individual level, but that can be expanded to an entire team, department, or throughout the organization with group coaching. Similarly, I assist my clients with programmatic evaluation and capacity building, which can also be expanded to strategic planning to support the organization as a whole.

In addition, I offer an evenly balanced background that is an impactful resource for my clients. My 15 years of nonprofit experience and my Master of Nonprofit Organizations degree allow me to recognize and understand their unique needs, while my 15 years of business experience and MBA provide me with the tools required to facilitate truly strategic progress. I’ve been there — on both sides — and I get it.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Empathy: The ability to connect with and understand others is truly a leadership superpower. Empathy allows a leader to create enhanced relationships through communication and trust, boost team morale by inspiring purpose and validating feelings, and significantly contribute to organizational effectiveness and culture by appreciating individual perspectives and contributions.

Consistency: I have always moved at my own pace — slow and steady — in every aspect of my life. While this isn’t necessarily helpful for my marathon PR, it has been tremendously valuable in relationship building. I’m exceedingly patient and can meet people where they are. I have an even keeled approach, regardless of the situation at hand. My house is never on fire. This consistency has allowed me to be a stable and reliable resource for others, easily building rapport, and ultimately, trust.

Visionary: When I first started my business, I had an exceptionally clear picture in my head of what my future would look like. I’m not talking about envisioning my business plan or the services I would provide. I mean, I literally saw my day-to-day existence as an entrepreneur on a whole life scale in my mind’s eye. I felt the joy of serving my clients well, the satisfaction of meaningfully contributing to our community, and the freedom of creating a schedule that balanced business efforts and self-care. None of this had happened yet at the time, but it was still my tangible reality. From the depth of my being, I knew I could make it all happen. And I did. Having that crystal clear vision offered a true north by which to navigate my journey toward success.

Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.

At one point, I was at a crossroads in regard to the type of leadership I was responsible for supporting and my own leadership style, as the two were not aligned. One path led toward significant income, but it meant I would be required to change my leadership methods to mirror a business culture that didn’t resonate with my style. The other path would allow me to be a truly authentic leader, which is a much more joyous and effective space for me, but it also meant frightening financial insecurity.

I chose to stay true to myself and my values, left the role, and never looked back. It was 1000% the right decision. The business was better off with a new leader who embodied their culture, and I had the opportunity to revel in meaningful new work that had impact on my community.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Can you share a personal experience where embracing your unique leadership style, which might not align with traditional expectations, led to a significant positive impact in your organization or team?

I’m a big fan of the regular check-in with team members. I didn’t realize it until someone pointed it out, but I typically start one-on-one meetings with an iteration of, “How are you doing?” This isn’t a casual question. I truly want to know how the person is functioning in the world. While the purpose of the meeting is business-focused, this question often leads to greater understanding, appreciation, and respect in both directions.

Another byproduct of the check-in question is that I have my finger on the pulse of the organization. I know how everyone thinks. I understand their needs and I’m able to respond in a timely way. I can recognize issues and mitigate them before they become a problem. And the effort is appreciated. People feel heard and valued. As a result, they’re happier and more productive, and turnover is drastically reduced. Win-win.

In your journey as a leader, how have you balanced demonstrating resilience, often seen as a masculine trait, with showing vulnerability, which is equally powerful, but typically feminine? Can you give an example where this balance created a meaningful difference?

Toward the middle of my career, I took a newly created leadership position at a small business that had historically been very fluid and inconsistent when it came to procedure. Everyone had an equal voice and, as the company grew, this culture was hindering success. Part of my role was to evaluate operations, create new structure, implement, and manage it. Needless to say, people were not happy about my arrival.

At first, there were two camps — people either ignored me or they showed extreme emotion about my presence. I can vividly recall one meeting in particular I was scheduled to observe. When I entered the conference room, one person burst into tears, and another left in disgust. It was a challenging situation that required both strong resilience to meet my job responsibilities and a soft vulnerability in supporting the team members’ feelings.

I was fortunate to have the business owner’s full support, but my resilience needed to come from within. I reminded myself that the team’s reaction wasn’t personal. It was a function of their own fear of change and an unknown future. I needed to have thick skin and focus on the needs of the people and the task at hand. It wasn’t always easy, but I had the mental fortitude to purposefully forge ahead, and I relied on it. Heavily.

Once I had my own feelings strongly in check, I was able to address the needs of the team. They needed to get to know me as a person so I could be viewed as a member of their group instead of as an outsider on a mission to destroy their comfortable work experience. I genuinely wanted to gain their trust and I knew I needed to show authentic vulnerability in order to do it.

I started by meeting with each team member individually so we could get to know each other. Some of these conversations were easier than others, but all offered opportunity for openness and personal connection. I continued these meetings on a monthly basis while I focused on the procedural tasks behind the scenes. I was accessible, honest, frank, and curious. I asked meaningful questions and shared my perspective, even if it was unpopular. And I persevered.

Over time, people began to respond. I didn’t win everyone over, but a majority grew to accept me as one of their own. There were still some tears from time to time, but by balancing internal resilience with external vulnerability, I was able to create lasting, positive change while establishing relationships I continue to enjoy today.

As a woman in leadership, how have you navigated and challenged gender stereotypes, especially in situations where traditional male-dominated approaches are the norm? What strategies have you employed to remain authentic to your style?

I was once told by a male boss that I am too empathetic as a leader. It was an absolute gut punch, for empathy is a big part of my identity. It has also been key to my 30 years of success as a leader. Over time, I turned those hurt feelings into an opportunity for self-reflection.

I read current leadership literature. I listened to a variety of expert interviews. I recalled the wisdom of my leadership professors in grad school. And I pondered. The result of this study was that my value of empathy in leadership had not changed — if anything, it was strengthened.

Today, I am thankful for that boss’ perception, for it precipitated a life-changing career transformation that has allowed me to live authentically while helping others do the same.

How do you utilize emotional intelligence and active listening to create an inclusive environment in your team or organization? Could you share a specific instance where these qualities particularly enhanced team dynamics or performance?”

It all starts with self-awareness, which is a key component of both emotional intelligence and active listening. By recognizing your own emotions, perceptions, and bias, you will be more open to and comfortable supporting others in this regard.

I once led a small team that didn’t get along socially. Each member did their individual job satisfactorily, but the group had the potential to accomplish so much more as a cohesive unit. Since I had a good relationship with each team member, I started by approaching them on an individual basis. I shared my concerns about the team and asked each member for their perspective. Of course, all of their feedback widely differed, but nobody seemed against trying to get along better, which was heartening.

After a period of individual coaching, I convened the team for a group coaching opportunity. We completed an assessment, which allowed everyone to better identify their own personal style and how it corresponded with the others’. By integrating the individual and group coaching activities into the routine work environment, the team was better able to understand each other’s perspectives and appreciate how their unique gifts made the group better as a whole.

It was a process and progress didn’t happen in a straight line, but eventually, the team began recognizing and appreciating their differences, which led to a happier, more productive team.

What role has mentorship played in developing your authentic leadership style, and how do you communicate authentically to inspire and empower both your mentors and mentees?

I have been fortunate to have multiple mentors so far in my career. One mentor in particular, a former boss, helped shape my authentic leadership style by exhibiting his own unique ways of leading on a daily basis. We had very different styles, but he was very accepting of my unique approach. He not only allowed me to walk on my own leadership path, but he often asked me to be his guide on the journey, which was so empowering.

From a communication standpoint, we could be completely honest with each other without fear of consequence. If we disagreed about something, we openly discussed it. If we thought the other was being unreasonable or making a mistake, we shared our perspective, and it was welcomed. He created a safe space for honest dialogue and communication. This not only served to advance business operations, but it also created a really valuable relationship.

My mentor demonstrated openness, trust, and a desire to learn from my experience. Today, I mentor several young professionals, and because I have benefitted from a wonderful example, I strive to serve as the same type of resource for my mentees.

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Leading Authentically As A Woman Will Affect Your Leadership”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1 . Leading with Compassion: Having genuine concern for people at all levels of your organization, combined with the desire to help them, will better position everyone for success. Treat your team with kindness and maturity. Be curious, not judgmental. Trust them to be responsible and do the right thing. Care! Most will find this refreshing because, sadly, it’s not the norm, and they’ll flourish as a result.

2 . Leading with Connection: Be familiar with your team member’s unique behavior preferences and understand how they typically respond to various situations. This will allow you to anticipate reaction and tailor your delivery to meet their personal needs. For instance, if you work with someone who is typically reserved and not comfortable being the center of attention, you might consider recognizing their accomplishments on a one-on-one basis, rather than with a large, public celebration.

3 . Leading with Presence: People need to feel seen, heard, and valued. They desire to be received with both the heart and the mind. This is accomplished by holding space for them, using active listening skills, and being fully present during all interactions. In my 30-year career, I have encountered a variety of conversations regarding everything significant life experiences to the mundane and the feedback I have received has a common theme — appreciation for acknowledging people and taking their concerns seriously.

4 . Leading with Bravery: As a leader, your position on a matter may not always be popular. In fact, if you’re being authentic and staying true to your purpose, you may be regularly making unpopular decisions. Sometimes, you must say no to your staff, your peers, or your boss. And that’s not easy. In situations like these, trust your gut, follow your values, and stay strong. Things have a way of working out in the end.

5 . Leading with Vulnerability: When I was a young manager, I felt strongly that team members’ work issues should stay in the workplace, their personal issues should stay at home, and never the two shall meet. Put simply, I was ignorant in my beliefs. Of course, there are going to be gray areas and crossover. People are human! Life, professionally and personally, can be messy at times and your team needs to trust that you’ll be there for them as a leader (as appropriate, of course). This type of relationship doesn’t begin as issues arise. It springs from your daily interactions, which provide opportunity for routine openness and connection.

Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?

Empathetic leaders are in tune with the feelings and needs of others. They can quickly and easily relate to people on an emotional level, creating a culture in which team members feel comfortable, valued, heard, and understood. As a result, trust and collaboration abound, which is so important for long-term success.

Sometimes, though, an empathetic leader risks burnout, for it can be emotionally draining to absorb the emotions of others on a routine basis without respite, especially if the work environment is a challenging one.

To prevent burnout, you first must know what it looks like for you. Burnout can present in a variety of forms, most commonly as persistent fatigue, decreased performance, loss of motivation, or increased cynicism or detachment. Through self-reflection, you’ll recognize the signs and be better positioned to appropriately address it in a way that’s best for you.

Establishing a self-care routine can be a powerful step in preventing or addressing burnout. There are a variety of opportunities for self-care, including regular exercise, taking some down time for yourself, journaling, spending time with loved ones, etc. Self-care is a personal practice, so identify the activity that speaks to you and give it a try, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day.

Setting or strengthening boundaries is also helpful during times of burnout. Boundaries can look different for different people, but some examples include not taking your work home with you, saying no, delegating, and sticking to standard work hours. Start small, communicate your boundaries to others, and be consistent.

Finally, seeking support for your burnout can make a real difference. Support can come from a supervisor, colleague, or your family or friends. An executive coach or a therapist can also be a neutral third party of value when seeking support. The key is to talk with a trusted person about your feelings.

Empathetic leaders enjoy connecting with and supporting others. We’ve all heard the old adage about putting on your oxygen mask first, and it’s true. If you don’t take the time to care for yourself, you won’t be in a position to help others.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

If there was more empathy in the workplace — at all levels — a lot of people would be much happier, operations would run smoother, there would be hours of found time, and, ultimately, our community would be better served. I truly believe this.

How can our readers further follow you online?

Readers can visit my website at www.SongbirdLeadership.com or connect with me on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/jill-fowler-nonprofit-coach.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!