Leading with Heart: Kim Jones of KJA On The Power of Authentic Women’s Leadership

An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman

Know that when you embrace who you are as a leader, you will inspire countless other women to do the same. So often, as women we are encouraged to conform to leadership norms that feel inauthentic to who we are. As a result, many of us feel like imposters and like we won’t be taken seriously if we lead as ourselves. And, when we try to conform to traditional models of leadership, we inadvertently reinforce stereotypes that there is only one way to lead. This shortchanges the gifts we have to offer as female leaders, including traits we intrinsically bring to the table like empathy, collaboration, and flexibility, which we know generate high leadership impact and strong outcomes.

In today’s dynamic world, the concept of leadership is continuously evolving. While traditional leadership models have often been male-dominated, there is a growing recognition of the unique strengths and perspectives that women bring to these roles. This series aims to explore how women can become more effective leaders by authentically embracing their femininity and innate strengths, rather than conforming to traditional male leadership styles. In this series, we are talking to successful women leaders, coaches, authors, and experts who can provide insights and personal stories on how embracing their inherent feminine qualities has enhanced their leadership abilities. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Kim Jones.

Kim Jones draws on her 25 years of combined corporate and C-suite experience, coupled with her deep knowledge of leadership norms and best practices in corporate America, to develop a leading resource for women who want to advance their careers and create maximum workplace impact. She created Kim Jones Alliance (KJA) for individuals and companies looking to accelerate the progression of women in their work and careers. As part of this work, she partners with her clients to examine the structures that exist in their organizations and identify and implement solutions that create more equitable outcomes for women and other underrepresented groups, whether they be through leadership development or culture change.

KJA’s chief objective is working in traditionally male-dominated fields to assist them with becoming more hospitable for women while retaining the female talent already there. As such, KJA has developed courses and products that are designed to provide an equalizer for women seeking to climb the corporate ladder and reach their highest leadership potential. Through the trifecta of education, coaching, and consultancy, KJA empowers women in male prevalent fields like technology and leadership to shift both their mindsets and their behaviors to attain their professional goals. Furthermore, by embedding research and data on the ways that systemic bias shows up in companies and the strategies that effectively counteract them, Kim helps her clients examine and understand the systems of which they are a part and the actions that will best enable them to make meaningful changes within them. By doing so, she goes beyond merely highlighting the shortcomings in diversity and inclusion practices to empower her clients to take effective action.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I knew from a young age that I wanted to make my mark on the world. Early on, I decided I would do this by leading in the corporate world. I reached my goal when I worked my way up to divisional CIO and senior vice president for Farmers Insurance Company, a Fortune 250 company, at a time when most of my tech and leadership colleagues were men. I had a career that was, by all accounts, the definition of success. The problem was, I was unfulfilled doing the very thing that I intentionally set out to do.

I pushed this lack of fulfillment to the back of my mind until my personal life began unraveling in 2014. In the space of only a few short years, I suffered tremendous losses to some of the people I love most (my brother died of a catastrophic heart attack, a beloved family member was diagnosed with a terminal illness, and a dear colleague and friend lost his battle to cancer). Because of these events, I realized with a clarity I hadn’t had before that I no longer wanted to maintain a job in service to someone else’s vision. I spent the next few years reinventing my career into one that’s committed to making a bigger impact in the world, one built on a foundation of meaning and fulfillment and aligned with work I feel called to do.

Fast forward, and I now support women and companies aspiring to create similar impact in the world by aligning their work with their deepest values and interests. In this career, I apply the experiences I had as a senior leader to teach leadership to my clients, coach leaders to achieve their highest potential, and work with organizations committed to building more equitable work cultures where everyone can thrive. Now, I am honored and privileged every day to help mission-driven people and organizations achieve their greatest visions and make their own indelible mark on the world.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

It’s probably when I was almost fired early in my management career. This came after years of success in all of my prior roles. After being promoted to lead an operations team of over 100 employees in 2003, I learned that the direct and somewhat intense style I had used to successfully get ahead as an individual contributor was not going to be accepted as a young female leader, even though many of my male counterparts were getting ahead using similar behaviors. As painful as the experience was to be put on notice to change or be fired, it showed me perhaps for the first time what gender bias in leadership looks like, and was also a wakeup call for me to decide what kind of leader I wanted to be. Did I want to be the kind of leader that led my teams through fear and control, or did I want to learn to lead in ways that inspired my teams to deeply engage with their work and bring their best to their jobs each day? I chose the latter.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

My company’s unifying mission is elevating women at work. The application of this principle plays out in many different ways — coaching professional women in male-dominant industries like tech and leadership to achieve their highest potential, consulting with organizations to build equitable cultures where everyone is able to thrive, and providing leadership coaching centered on developing the skills that nurture inclusivity, authenticity, and top performance for leaders and their teams.

One particular story that stands out highlights how I came to start my business after having had a successful 25-year corporate career. When I left my job as SVP and divisional CIO for Farmers Insurance Company in 2017, I had no idea that I would start my own business. I figured I was just burned out after many years of working in highly demanding, highly political jobs, and that after a break I’d be ready to go back to work in a similar role. Instead, I realized during my time away from the daily grind that I had a deeper purpose that I wanted to bring to life through my work — that purpose is to use everything I’ve learned as a corporate executive and apply the training I’ve had as an anthropologist to coach and consult with individuals and companies looking to elevate women in work. What makes my work unique is that I collaborate with my clients to operate within existing systems to create paths to greater advancement, equity, and authenticity, while developing strategies to drive systemic change in incremental and constructive ways.

Once this intention for my work became clear, it was truly amazing how many new avenues I was able to identify to bring my mission to life — through coaching, consulting, speaking, workshop facilitation with leadership teams, teaching in programs like UCLA Extension’s Technology Management Program, and working with women undergoing career transitions to find their way to work they love.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

The traits that I believe made me most successful include adaptability, courage, and diplomacy. Because most of my corporate roles involved leading large scale transformational change initiatives, having the ability to adapt to evolving circumstances was critical to my success. But it’s not only about adapting to change, it’s about taking the time to understand how each new priority, leader, or strategy can be leveraged to support an approach and narrative about what you’re trying to accomplish. How your work is positioned in the context of a larger agenda that’s constantly shifting is probably one of the most under-emphasized aspects of leadership, but I would argue is among the most important traits for marshalling highly visible strategies and initiatives through to successful completion.

For me, being a courageous leader means constantly leaning into the edges of my comfort zone to do the things that are expected of me in my job but involve managing very scary and uncomfortable emotions. This includes getting on stage when I am experiencing high anxiety, speaking up about an issue or opposing perspective to ensure the right conversations are happening, having tough discussions about performance, taking ownership when initiatives don’t go as planned, and having to show up to lead during really trying times like during layoffs or corporate restructurings. Being courageous also prompted me to lead in ways that are authentic to who I am, including calling out biased behaviors, challenging priorities that I believe are misguided, and being willing to put myself on the line when I think it is the right thing to do.

Finally, I chose diplomacy as one of my key success traits because I believe this characteristic is critical to creating collaborative, consensus-based teams that are strong in empathy with a focus on forward movement. It involves empathy because you need to understand where others are coming from and what motivates them so that you can form mutually beneficial strategies that generate buy-in. It involves collaboration because you are working with others to negotiate approaches that accommodate various positions and perspectives. And it focuses on the behaviors that promote alignment across disparate agendas. When coming from a place of diplomacy, you will lean on traits that promote high emotional intelligence where problem-solving and decision-making can occur, which is really critical at all times, but especially during the periods of high conflict that tend to happen when working on something new or transformational.

Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.

One of the hardest choices I’ve ever made as a leader was putting everything on the line to walk away from a successful job to build a career that’s in better alignment with what matters most to me. Before I made this decision, I had known for some time that I was staying in my corporate job because I was too afraid to step into the unknown. Seven years ago, I finally decided to make the call to move away from my corporate career that was no longer serving me. I believe that a big part of why my ensuing business has thrived is because I was willing to risk it all to figure out how I could create a career that is more authentic to who I am and aligns with a bigger mission. It is from this experience that I’m now able to coach clients to not only lead in their day-to-day roles with greater purpose and authenticity, but to also take the big risks necessary to live their lives fully in alignment with their own values and the contribution they want to make through their work.

Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Can you share a personal experience where embracing your unique leadership style, which might not align with traditional expectations, led to a significant positive impact in your organization or team?

In 2015, I was promoted to interim Farmers CIO from divisional CIO when my boss left unexpectedly. In this role, I began reporting to the COO, who told me I could lead the organization in whatever capacity I chose while they completed their search for the new CIO. In other words, I could approach the role by keeping the trains running until the new leader was named, or I could use the time to implement changes I believed would create a higher performing organization. With this in mind, I jumped at the opportunity to restructure the department and some of our processes with the goal of elevating our performance and business impact. I was really proud of what the leadership team and I were able to accomplish during this time, and as a result I was promoted to SVP when the new CIO was named, which carried with it a larger remit and team.

I made the decision to make really big, bold moves during my time as interim CIO knowing I was putting myself at great risk with a new leader coming in. It was through taking these risks that I solidified who I wanted to be as a leader — someone willing to put it all on the line in service to a bigger goal regardless of the personal stakes involved. And I believe showing up in this way allowed me to hone my leadership skills to prepare for the work I do now as a coach, advisor, teacher, and consultant.

In your journey as a leader, how have you balanced demonstrating resilience, often seen as a masculine trait, with showing vulnerability, which is equally powerful, but typically feminine? Can you give an example where this balance created a meaningful difference?

I don’t see the two as being mutually exclusive, but instead as complementary. We know from research that both resilience and vulnerability are key ingredients for leaders who want to fully engage their teams and inspire them to achieve top performance, especially with teams that are innovating and navigating in uncharted territory. Resilience is vital for such teams as it enables them to move through challenges by engaging their capacity for problem solving and creativity as quickly as possible. One of the ways to inspire resilience as a leader is to show vulnerability in acknowledging problems, failures, and generally tough situations, while also communicating your belief in their ability to rise above whatever issue is at hand — showing optimism without glossing over the difficulties you are facing. Leaders who don’t show vulnerability during the tough times are more likely to come across as disconnected from their teams at best, or unwilling to engage with the reality with what’s happening on the ground at worst. This may cause teams to stay stuck in issues for far longer than necessary.

An example of where I’ve shown vulnerability is when a team member experiences a setback or failure. I will take these opportunities to talk about the many failures I have experienced along the course of my own leadership journey. Oftentimes, our teams see us as the finished product of all the work we’ve done to get where we are, and don’t know all the bumps and bruises we accumulated along the way. They may look at us and think — I can never be a leader because I’ll never be able to do what this leader or that leader is able to do. However, when they hear about the time I almost passed out on stage due to nervousness, or the time I was almost fired, or the time I had to talk my boss through a $20M budgeting mistake I made, they can better see that it’s possible to learn and grow from their own failures and setbacks, which can completely change how they engage with their work, with risk, and with their opportunities for advancement.

As a woman in leadership, how have you navigated and challenged gender stereotypes, especially in situations where traditional male-dominated approaches are the norm? What strategies have you employed to remain authentic to your style?

This is a subject that I not only have a lot of personal experience with, but it is also an area that I teach about in a number of contexts. As a first step, it’s important to understand how systemic gender bias can show up in every stage of a woman’s career — from how we’re evaluated as a job candidate to how we’re promoted and how our performance is appraised. Once we understand that any unfair treatment we encounter may be due to gender bias, we put ourselves in the best position to develop strategies to respond. For example, when faced with bias, I encourage clients to first recognize that it’s occurring, like when their competence is being discounted or when they are talked over or overlooked as the expert in their role. In these situations, I encourage them to identify the power position they can take so that they don’t give away their authority and agency. Otherwise, we may take bias personally and internalize it as a result of something we did to cause it, which may cause us we to get small, pull back, and not show up in our fullest capacity. When we do that, we reinforce stereotypes that we’re not as capable or competent as the guys are, and we don’t put ourselves in a position to succeed at the level we are capable of.

Some ways we can maintain our power in the face of bias include speaking up with our point of view even when it’s scary, advocating for floor time when it might not be readily given, saying something when you notice bias occurring (note: I advocate doing this in very specific ways so that you don’t get labeled negatively for speaking up), and building relationships with people in influential positions so they get to know you and will be less likely to make assumptions about you based on bias.

How do you utilize emotional intelligence and active listening to create an inclusive environment in your team or organization? Could you share a specific instance where these qualities particularly enhanced team dynamics or performance?”

Emotional intelligence and active listening are absolutely essential ingredients in creating inclusive work environments. Most of us have been taught through outdated leadership models that emotions have no place in the workplace, but we now know that leaders who are able to show up emotionally attuned to their colleagues, employees, and environments are better positioned to respond to day-to-day situations with more empathy, resilience, and creativity.

One of the things that emotional intelligence allows us to do as leaders is to be aware of the different experiences that those we work with may have. Often, people in majority groups (white, male, able bodied, CIS-gendered, etc.) assume that their experiences in the workplace are shared by everyone. They might miss cues that people in more marginalized groups are having vastly different experiences with how they are treated at work — and as a result they may disengage or not feel safe to show up authentically. This robs us of our ability to leverage their experiences and perspectives in how we operate and make decisions. And, when we don’t take the time to actively listen to those with different experiences, we compromise our ability to create the inclusive environments we know generate strong employee engagement, retention, and business outcomes.

The good news is that emotional intelligence and active listening are two skills that can be learned and developed through mentorship, coaching, and engaging in self-learning.

What role has mentorship played in developing your authentic leadership style, and how do you communicate authentically to inspire and empower both your mentors and mentees?

Mentorship is critical to developing your own unique leadership style, and it’s important to not only have a mentor, but that you also find one whom you admire and who will support you in your career aspirations. I have benefitted tremendously from having supportive mentors throughout my career who were able to see the talents I have and who encouraged me to use them in my work.

When you engage as a mentor to others, it’s critical that you do so in a way that’s authentic. This is so important because authenticity inspires connection. It allows others to see you for the genuine leader you are, which gives them permission to also hone their own skills as authentic leaders.

People often think that to be inspirational, you need to show up in very specific ways that may not feel authentic to who you are. I’ve learned that on the contrary, people are inspired by those who show up fully as themselves, with both vulnerability and strength. You will inspire others when you care about them and actively listen to their perspectives and ideas. This is the key to empowering others and being inspiring to them.

Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Leading Authentically As A Woman Will Affect Your Leadership”?

1 . Know that when you embrace who you are as a leader, you will inspire countless other women to do the same. So often, as women we are encouraged to conform to leadership norms that feel inauthentic to who we are. As a result, many of us feel like imposters and like we won’t be taken seriously if we lead as ourselves. And, when we try to conform to traditional models of leadership, we inadvertently reinforce stereotypes that there is only one way to lead. This shortchanges the gifts we have to offer as female leaders, including traits we intrinsically bring to the table like empathy, collaboration, and flexibility, which we know generate high leadership impact and strong outcomes.

2 . Recognize that we don’t live in a fair and just world. So often, women get caught up in the unfairness of how they are treated. While it’s important to acknowledge the biased systems we operate in, turning our energy instead toward how we can successfully navigate in these environments allows us to avoid getting weighed down and distracted by inequity, and instead allows us to focus on making the biggest impact possible. This ultimately gives us our best shot at creating our own unique path to success.

3 . Decide how you want to engage in the work to build better equity. I believe that as women leaders, we should always be thinking about the part we want to play to pay it forward to those coming up behind us, in the same way that the women who came before us paved the way for us. By intentionally thinking about this, we can ensure we are doing our part to build a more fair and just world. Things you can do to engage in this work include being a sponsor or mentor to other women, participating in your company’s women’s Employee Resource Group (ERG) (or start one if your company doesn’t have one), speak up when you see bias, encourage your male colleagues to be allies, and if you have advantages over other women (for example, if you’re white, able-bodied, or CIS-gendered), be an ally yourself to women in more marginalized groups.

4 . Find and lean into what inspires you and gives you purpose. When you work in alignment with your strengths, values, and purpose, you will have a bigger impact and maximize your chance at achieving your highest professional potential. I was 25 years into my corporate career before I decided to leave to define and implement a more purposeful career. I no longer wanted to put my energy into fighting to gain equal footing in systems that weren’t designed for my success. I now take great pride in knowing that I am living my values and mission every single day.

5 . Own the advantages of being a woman leader in climates that are striving for more diversity. So many women are uncomfortable with the idea that they may have an edge in our current DEI climate due to their gender. If this is you, keep in mind that for the centuries, men were able to cut to the front of the line while we had to fight for a fair shot. Interestingly, this was never viewed as gender bias when in fact it’s a textbook example of it. Now that the tables have turned slightly in an attempt to achieve better parity, I say that we take the opportunities we get and show them what we can do, rather than worry about whether we were hired or promoted to “check a box.” Instead, know that you are a talented and brilliant woman who will crush it in your role, and that by doing so you will silence your critics and make your mark at the same time.

Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?

Like any strength, empathy, when overused or not balanced, can create challenges, but not for the reasons that many people think. Some believe that empathetic leaders are unable to make tough calls and won’t drive performance or accountability. In fact, when empathy is included as part of an effective performance management or accountability strategy, the impact, buy-in, and commitment achieved can yield much more positive outcomes.

To get the benefits of being an empathetic leader while avoiding the pitfalls, I advise that leaders create strong boundaries around their own wellbeing so that they don’t become overwhelmed in challenging situations or when others are going through really difficult times. Coaching can help with this. And it’s also important to know that you can be both empathetic and have high expectations — they are not mutually exclusive. In fact, letting things go or avoiding taking challenging situations head on may create performance or interpersonal issues go against empathetic values, so it’s important to learn how to do both.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.

I have a client who is all about elevating the human experience at work. I love the work she is doing in this area, which includes consulting with companies to show them the benefits of being fully human at work through creating connection in our shared humanity. If I were going to start a broader movement beyond my current mission, it would be this.

How can our readers further follow you online?

You can find me at kimjonesalliance.com.

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!

Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!