Leading with Heart: Lisa Allen of LJ Allen Coaching & Speaking On The Power of Authentic Women’s Leadership
An Interview With Pirie Jones Grossman
Psychological safety is crucial. One of the most toxic work environments I left was directly due to lack of psychological safety. I use Timothy Clark’s stages of inclusion safety, learner safety, contributor safety and challenge safety as the grid to allow those I work with to grow, learn, develop, collaborate and challenge me.
In today’s dynamic world, the concept of leadership is continuously evolving. While traditional leadership models have often been male-dominated, there is a growing recognition of the unique strengths and perspectives that women bring to these roles. This series aims to explore how women can become more effective leaders by authentically embracing their femininity and innate strengths, rather than conforming to traditional male leadership styles. In this series, we are talking to successful women leaders, coaches, authors, and experts who can provide insights and personal stories on how embracing their inherent feminine qualities has enhanced their leadership abilities. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Lisa J. Allen.
Lisa Allen has a passion for and connection to people and uses this passion as a coach, speaker and leader. She is uniquely designed to help people understand their behavior, create self-awareness leading to emotional intelligence and identify blind spots that could trip them. She is a Board-Certified Life Coach and comes with a combined two decades of non-profit leadership. She enjoys the certifications she’s received for Enneagram Certification, DISC Personality Profile and Gallup’s Clifton StrengthsFinder. She is the author of the “What you Value is Valuable” Assessment which she uses to help people identify and live their values.
Her experience as a Board-Certified Life Coach and Speaker has uniquely prepared her as a popular keynote speaker, conference speaker or workshop facilitator. She has spoken to over 1000 in person, 2000 online and enjoys workshops for teams between 10–25. Her engaging messages leave her audience with a renewed passion, calling and confidence.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I was in commercial property management in the late 80’s but after our kids were born, I gained my most formational leadership experience through over 2 decades in the faith-based non-profit space. In 2012, I realized my leadership style was a coaching leadership style that drew out and developed others. That is when I became a Board-Certified Life Coach and I’ve enjoyed coaching individuals, teams and doing coaching workshops and messages ever since. When I speak to groups of women, I consistently hear how refreshing it is to have receive the practical tools that lead to action steps in their lives.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
I had the courage to continue to evolve. In the late 80’s early 90’s I thought I would remain in real estate. But, with the birth of our two kids, I became more aware of my passions that were more about people than a product. I parlayed that passion into helping develop others and form teams that delivered results. When I started to focus on the people instead of the product, my leadership came alive.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I was just reflecting on the impact that coaching high achieving women has had on my life. I have literally sat across the table from people faced with growing non-profits from scratch, starting a second career post 50 years old and even burying a loved one coaching them through grief. I’ve seen authors birth their first book. I’ve coached retired teachers into second careers and professional athletes facing retirement. The reason I chose the tagline “Confidence Coach” is not because the people I coach are insecure. It’s because true confidence comes from facing the unexpected even when you’re afraid or inexperienced.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
1. Believing in others. 2. Modeling what you coach. What I mean by that is I consistently aim to live a life as a confident woman that has margin and room for self-care. I routinely assess my own life making sure my values, priorities and goals keep moving forward while keeping my routines as a sustainable capacity. 3. Releasing others into full-circle self-awareness. Not just “who am I?”, but “who am I alongside of you?” Self-awareness that isn’t aware of others cannot lead to emotional intelligence. I’ve spent the last several years helping people identify how to honor others without losing themselves.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader?
I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership. I believe it is crucial whether you are leading a large team in an organization or leading your own family that you create a statement of purpose that reflects your why. Whether it’s a mission statement for an organization, a season or a project, knowing the win and the why makes decisions easier. I recall when I had to redistribute a teammate from one set of duties to another because the win for the team changed and made their previous duties without a return on the time an energy they exerted. It took time for them to learn the new role, but it because a sweet spot role for them that supported where the team was heading.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Can you share a personal experience where embracing your unique leadership style, which might not align with traditional expectations, led to a significant positive impact in your organization or team?
Sure! This is my passion. I believe that varied personality styles can achieve success, however, they will be motivated quite differently. For example, using the 4 basic personality styles (DISC), the D will succeed by taking control of a project, working very hard and making sure their team under stands their role, the budget and overall success. The I will make it fun. Casual relationships that have a collaborative, shared workload will make the goals fun, casual yet on track to achieve. The C Leader will want all the details and a smooth, risk-assessed system for success. They like the people, but are more motivated by the task and system to accomplish it. And the S leader will be very laid back, typically delegating and allowing others to work at their own pace, yet doing it as a team.
D is motivated by bigger and better. I is motivated by who is doing this with me and how can we make it fun. C is motivated by excellence, detail and structure. S is motivated by peaceful collaboration quietly making sure each teammate is seen and valued. I have also written my own leadership style assessment for when I coach rising leaders that gives them vocabulary for the style of leadership they most relate to. This includes: The Builder, the Motivator, Strategic leader, Visionary leader, Shepherding leader, Advocate, Innovator, Directional leader and more. When you identify your motivational leadership style using DISC, Gallup Clifton Strengthsfinder or Enneagram and can add vocabulary around your leadership style, then you can let your teammates understand you at your best (and worst). This creates a safe and open team environment.
In your journey as a leader, how have you balanced demonstrating resilience, often seen as a masculine trait, with showing vulnerability, which is equally powerful, but typically feminine? Can you give an example where this balance created a meaningful difference?
I have found that intangible less quantitative traits like vulnerability, positivity and relational skill is rarely rewarded, however it is significantly felt when it is missing. Without these traits, people feel like cogs in a production wheel rather than meaningful contributors. Regarding resilience, I refer again to personality wiring. Everyone is equipped for resilience differently, but all are capable of it male or female.
As a woman in leadership, how have you navigated and challenged gender stereotypes, especially in situations where traditional male-dominated approaches are the norm? What strategies have you employed to remain authentic to your style?
I have grown over the years and learned that true confidence is remaining true to my leadership style which is based on my wiring, experience and motivations. I have learned there are many different ways to accomplish a goal. Because I have such solid belief in these two statements, it’s enabled me not to take the bait of gender stereotypes and to allow my skill and expertise to speak loudest at any table at which I am seated.
How do you utilize emotional intelligence and active listening to create an inclusive environment in your team or organization? Could you share a specific instance where these qualities particularly enhanced team dynamics or performance?”
I have developed a philosophy that I speak on, teach and coach with that I call “full circle self-awareness”. Single focus self-awareness is “who am I?”. Stopping there stops short. Going full circle is “who am I alongside of you”? This is true emotional intelligence that helps me understand when my extroverted verbal processing is needed and when it’s too much and dial it back a notch, for example. The only leadership we cannot delegate is self-leadership and that requires emotional intelligence. Active listening is something that coach training and certification has developed. My coach training taught me the acronym “WAIT … Why Am I Talking?” as a reminder to listen better. Mirroring what I am hearing provides important space for potential misunderstandings. The use of the phrase “What I heard you say was….”
What role has mentorship played in developing your authentic leadership style, and how do you communicate authentically to inspire and empower both your mentors and mentees?
Good leaders adopt the philosophy to be constant learners. I have been mentored by people I’ll never meet via their messages online, digital conferences and podcasts. I have a long-term 20 plus year mentor from the faith-based non-profit world that has believed in me and pulled the best out of me. She has remained available to process confusing situations always with the lens to help me grow as a leader. She has spoken truth in love to me over and over and has deposited enough chips in my bank to make withdrawals that uncover my blindspots and growth areas. She has taught me to be a generous leader who speaks well of other female leaders. This has created a passion in me for the next generation that has led to me coaching rising, young leaders with best leadership practice I’ve learned through the years.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you please share “5 Ways Leading Authentically As A Woman Will Affect Your Leadership”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
1 . It uses your past experience to create a preferred future. When you have led for decades, you learn what is foundational to be built upon and what is cultural that needs to shift and change in each season. The mission remains the same, but the delivery system changes in various seasons. We all learned this through Covid as we resiliently learned new ways to gather digitally, lead teams, serve customers and maintain culture.
2 . Leading authentically invites other women to the leadership table. Ultimately, this will work yourself out of a job as you raise up others developing them and delegating more and more. As I work with younger leaders, I am consistently looking for ways to bring them with me to events, programs, meetings and speaking engagements. There is nothing like experiencing something together that leads to the best questions and insights for both myself and a rising leader.
3 . Authentic leadership is generous with praise and promotion of other women leaders when they are and are not in room. This represents an abundant mindset. I remember being asked to speak at a local event that would have been a huge platform opportunity for me. However, I was confident enough to know that I wasn’t the best fit for their audience. I had attended this event many times and, therefore, understood their niche. I did mention other local speakers who I knew to be a better fit. The thing I remember about this, was when the organization’s CEO told me that she will never forget the strength and confidence it took for me to turn down this opportunity. She said it remained an example of what confident leadership was. I was humbled by this generous compliment.
4 . Leading confidently as an authentic leader requires curiosity. Every year older I get, I become less sure. When I am less sure of something, it creates space for more listening, open-mindedness, willingness to look through someone’s perspective to see how they things. I don’t have to agree with someone to be curious and willing to see from their perspective.
5 . Psychological safety is crucial. One of the most toxic work environments I left was directly due to lack of psychological safety. I use Timothy Clark’s stages of inclusion safety, learner safety, contributor safety and challenge safety as the grid to allow those I work with to grow, learn, develop, collaborate and challenge me.
Are there potential pitfalls or challenges associated with being an empathetic leader? How can these be addressed?
One pitfall that will always exist is being misunderstood. Sometimes empathy is viewed as a soft skill yet sometimes, it is viewed as weakness. I have to be willing to be misunderstood by others who do not hold the same values as I do, yet not allow that to keep me from being the leader that I am.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-).
This may sound naïve, but I feel like I have. By devoting myself to coaching others in confidence, calling and capacity and by speaking all over the country to groups of women, I feel like I am living my own calling to encourage, inspire, empower and equip women to be the unique individuals God created them to be and leave a mark on their world.
How can our readers further follow you online?
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!
About The Interviewer: Pirie is a TedX speaker, author and a Life Empowerment Coach. She is a co-host of Own your Throne podcast, inspiring women in the 2nd chapter of their lives. With over 20 years in front of the camera, Pirie Grossman understands the power of storytelling. After success in commercials and acting. She spent 10 years reporting for E! Entertainment Television, Entertainment Tonight, also hosted ABC’s “Every Woman”. Her work off-camera capitalizes on her strength, producing, bringing people together for unique experiences. She produced a Children’s Day of Compassion during the Dalai Lama’s visit here in 2005. 10,000 children attended, sharing ideas about compassion with His Holiness. From 2006–2009, Pirie Co-chaired the Special Olympics World Winter Games, in Idaho, welcoming 3,000 athletes from over 150 countries. She founded Destiny Productions to create Wellness Festivals and is an Advisory Board member of the Sun Valley Wellness Board.In February 2017, Pirie produced, “Love is Louder”, a Brain Health Summit, bringing in Kevin Hines, noted suicide survivor to Sun Valley who spoke to school kids about suicide. Sun Valley is in the top 5% highest suicide rate per capita in the Northwest, prompting a community initiative with St. Luke’s and other stake holders, to begin healing. She lives in Sun Valley with her two children, serves on the Board of Community School. She has her Master’s degree in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica and is an Executive Life Empowerment Coach, where she helps people meet their dreams and goals! The difference between a dream and a goal is that a goal is a dream with a date on it!
