Lessons from a Thriving Power Couple, With Olatunde and Lorna Osunsanmi
An Interview With Nancy Landrum
We regularly make time for each other without the kids: date nights, mini-trips, and afternoon adventures. Once we did “A Day in LA.” We had lunch at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills, hiked to the Hollywood sign, had dinner and ice cream at the Calabasas Commons.
As a part of our series about lessons from Thriving Power Couples, I had the pleasure of interviewing Olatunde and Lorna Osunsanmi.
His name pronounced ‘A-lot-toonday Ush-you-sum-ie’, Olatunde is a first-generation American of Nigerian descent. Olatunde began his career as a director in 2009, with “The Fourth Kind” starring Milla Jovovich, released by Universal Pictures. Since then, Tunde has built a list of horror and Science Fiction credits that denote some of the genre’s best work, becoming one of the youngest, and best Director’s within the genre. Tunde served tenure with TNT and Steven Spielberg on the TV series, “Falling Skies” as co-executive producer/director for the show’s fifth and final season. Tunde has served as an episodic director for CBS’ “Extant” (starring Halle Berry); the CBS Series “Under the Dome”; as well as “Sleepy Hollow”; and TNT’s “The Last Ship”. He was the Executive Producer and Director on Star Trek: Discovery for Paramount + and is currently the EP and Director on the spin-off series Star Trek: Starfleet Academy.
Before moving to Los Angeles, Lorna graduated Magna Cum Laude earning a Bachelor of Arts degree in English with a pre-law minor from Texas Woman’s University. Lorna has since had a successful 16-year career working in television, starting with a sci-fi show called DAYBREAK that aired on ABC. Then, becoming a writer on Netflix’s first original scripted series, a sci-fi/horror titled HEMLOCK GROVE by producer Eli Roth. That experience paved the way for her to work on Hulu’s THE PATH, a drama about a fictitious cult and its leader. Departing from genre television, Lorna went onto CW’s ALL AMERICAN and then to Showtime’s SHAKA: KING OF THE ZULU’S. On the feature side, Lorna wrote PRINCESS DIARIES SPINOFF for Disney and the independent film MONEY MOVES. Lorna has developed a television series for Tyler Perry Productions and is currently developing a series with PictureStart Production Company. Outside of film and television, Lorna is the author of the inspirational book Becoming Bold, in which she discusses how to achieve balance in work, life, and love. She currently resides in Los Angeles with her husband and two children.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you two to your respective career paths?
Lorna: At 9 years old, after cutting patterns with my mom to be a fashion designer, working beside my dad on our car to be a mechanic, and then my dad recommending civil engineer, I realized I was a writer. I figured I could be anybody and do anything with the stroke of a pen. My mom thought writing was a path to destitution. Eventually, as a junior in college, I decided I didn’t want to spend my life in a profession I didn’t love. After some research — because I love research — I discovered the dynamic world of screenwriting and never looked back.
Olatunde: I was 7 years old, and my parents took me to visit Nigeria to meet my grandfather for the first time. He was a state photographer for various Nigerian dictators during that period, and he introduced me to many aspects of photography. But what I remember most was when he took me into his dark room, and explained the goal of every photo is to capture an emotional moment in time. Even at that age, that bit of information, planted the seed of storytelling in me.
Can you share the most interesting story that occurred since you two got married?
Lorna: There are so many. This one is a biggie. Tunde was constantly out of the country directing when we had our first child. I had a nanny during the day, but I was still working. While at work, I would pump (breast milk) on a fairly regular schedule, which was no small feat, and in the evening, I was on mommy duty. For some strange reason, he thought “it wasn’t that bad.” Well, the tables turned, and I had to work on location producing a series, and he was home alone. I didn’t just leave him high and dry. I left an entire mid-sized deep freezer of breast milk for our 11-month-old. After Day One he was done. To his credit, he admitted how wrong he was about everything. He was shocked by the level of exhaustion. He has never complained to this day about how difficult it is to raise a child even with childcare. Now he wonders how women do it without any help. But he bonded with our daughter, and I can see the beautiful impact it had on her and him, even now that she is 11 years old.
Olatunde: Well, shortly after we had our first child, I was at home while Lorna was working on location. And I spent weeks being a house dad. And I’ll never forget that first day alone with our daughter. I could not get her to stop crying! I couldn’t figure out how to swaddle her. And I couldn’t get her to sleep. I felt like I was failing in every way possible as a father. And that night, I spoke to Lorna, and she was like, suck it up and figure it out. And, well, that was exactly what I needed to hear. The next day was better, and the day after that even better, and so on and so forth. And I treasure that experience to this day.
What inspired you to work together?
Lorna: He’s my best friend, and our work has pulled us apart for extended periods of time. We decided the only way we could hang out together all the time was if we worked together.
Olatunde: That’s right. She’s my best friend, and my work has pulled me away from being able to spend time with her. So, working together gave us the best of both worlds. It allowed us to be together and be productive professionally.
Have there been any disasters caused by miscommunication? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Lorna: Oh yeah! We both have strong points of view, so, at times, we’d be deadlocked on a creative idea. That’s not productive to our story process, so we decided that unless the new idea or thought elevated the story or subverted expectations, the first idea should remain. Every idea must be in service of the story. Along those lines, if an idea is lateral or what I call ‘moving deck chairs’, then it shouldn’t be added.
Olatunde: What she said!
How do you divide the responsibilities in your company? Can you give examples?
Olatunde: Who ever writes the first page gets rewritten by the other. That way both of our hands touch it and we both stay connected to the material. And the rest of the time, it’s just all hands-on deck, and we’re sharing a computer as we go through it all.
Lorna: We are both creators and we’re very much engaged in each of our projects. But, also, what he said!
What are the “5 Things You Do To Thrive As A Couple”? Please share a story or example for each.
1. We regularly make time for each other without the kids: date nights, mini-trips, and afternoon adventures. Once we did “A Day in LA.” We had lunch at the Four Seasons Beverly Hills, hiked to the Hollywood sign, had dinner and ice cream at the Calabasas Commons.
2. We eat meals together, we try for at least two meals a day.
3. We sit next to each other in silence doing our own thing.
4. Have a spa day together, complete with a couples massage, and mani/pedis.
5. We share our secret struggles and get vulnerable. You have to get really real.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you share the responsibilities?
Lorna : We’re working on several different things together and individually. We can’t share them all here, but we’ll try! I’m writing and producing on a pilot with Picturestart and that’s as much as I can say. It’s a very cool fresh idea that we’re close to the finish line on.
Olatunde: I’m producing and directing a movie called Star Trek: Section 31. We just finished shooting and now working in post-production on it. And I’m also prepping a television series called Star Trek: Starfleet Academy that I’ll be producing on. Both are for Paramount +.
Together we’ve got several things percolating that we really couldn’t be more excited to share with you in the near future.
Lorna: As far as responsibilities, we know all the parts that need to come together, and we divvy them up based on time. We’re both strong writers and producers and have been in the industry for over 20 years, so it’s more about time. Sometimes projects come in for him and he gives them to me, and vice versa. Or we just jump in and do it together.
What advice would you give to other couples who work together?
Lorna: I was Robert and Michelle King’s assistant (creators of Good Wife, Evil), and I really appreciated how they had a unified voice and kept personal disagreements private. I think it’s important to extend professional courtesy to each other as much as we would our staff. No one wants to work with a two-headed dragon.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person or couple who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Olatunde: There are so many, it truly takes a village, and it’s tough to pick. For me it was Director Joe Carnahan. I assisted him, and it was the first time I got to follow around a Motion Picture Director, and really learn from that experience. He as the first to really validate my art in ways that resonate today.
Lorna: For me, Charles “Chic” Eglee and Greg Berlanti. Both were open about their writing process and gave wonderful insights in such an incredibly generous way.
Is there any particular book or concept that helped you overcome a turning point in your marriage?
Lorna: Tunde laughs at me, but I LOVE all of Drs. John and Julie Gottman’s books. They operate an institute called the Love Lab in Seattle, Washington where they offer couples counseling and retreats, but all of their books about Marriage and Dating are plain relationship life rafts. Tunde does not read these books, but I do so I use the tools even though he doesn’t know it. My favorite is “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.” Also, I’m a person of faith, and when we got engaged, we took divorce off the table. It wasn’t an option when things got tough, so that paved the way to really work things out.
Olatunde: Well said!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quotes”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your lives?
Lorna: “Think positive thoughts.” It’s pretty simple, but our minds become a landfill of debilitating doubts about failure and defeat. It’s so important not to expend energy on defeat BEFORE anything has even happened. What a waste of energy. You may as well think the best. That also applies to our marriage. It’s so important to think positively about your spouse. Our minds will go against the people who care about us the most. It’s important to not assume anything and think the best about each other. A friend of mine says, “Fill the gaps with trust and love.” I think that says it all.
Olatunde: I love the Nike saying, “Just do it.” Use all the positive energy you got, and go for it, and incredible things can happen in real life and professional life.
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
Olatunde: We try to tell stories that bring light into the world, that bring goodness. We don’t always hit the mark, but we do try.
Lorna: We mentor as often as we can and try to share what we know with the up-and-comers we encounter.
You are people of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
Lorna: Wow! I love this question! Consider interacting with the people you meet as if they were your parents or favorite relatives — basically, someone you truly love — and then see what happens.
Olatunde: Well, this is crazy, but what if you laughed once every hour of the day? I think genuine laughter with friends and family brings something special into the room that is good for everyone.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)
Lorna: MacKenzie Scott
Olatunde: Robert Smith, Vista Equity Partners
How can our readers follow your work online?
Lorna: We’re both on Instagram: @lorna_dear and @olatundeo.
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
Olatunde & Lorna: And thank you, such insightful questions. Looking forward to next time.
About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.
