Lessons from a Thriving Power Couple, With Tommy and Dianne McCollister
An Interview With Nancy Landrum
1 . We spend at least 20 minutes of nonnegotiable uninterrupted quality time together every day. For us that is going on a nightly walk whether it is hot, cold, or raining.
2 . We pray out loud over each other daily.
3 . We surround ourselves with likeminded faith-filled growth driven friends.
4 . We make sure our physical fitness is in top shape.
5 . We invest in coaching to keep us sharp in all areas of life.
As a part of our series about lessons from Thriving Power Couples, I had the pleasure of interviewing Tommy McCollister.
Tommy and Dianne McCollister are the CEO’s and Coaches for High Level Husband. They work with people all around the world, everyone from professional athletes, to chart topping musicians, to politicians, and 8 figure earners. Doing that all while growing their social media from nothing to 440k followers and over 550 million views. They have also been mentioned in USA Today, NBC, Fox News, CBS, just to name a few.
Besides running a successful coaching business, these days you can find Tommy bringing an intense and emotional experience to stages around the country, where he ignites men to feel phenomenal by winning at work and winning at home.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell us a story about what brought you two to your respective career paths?
Pain and trauma!!! I would love to tell you that we just dreamed of this as teenagers, but that is not how we got here. Both of us came from failed marriages being modeled to us. My parents had a marriage full of physical and verbal abuse, infidelity, etc. Dianne came from a home with an alcoholic father who left her when she was young. Fortunately, the pain did not stop there. Both of us made plenty of mistakes when we were young adults. Everything from sexual promiscuity to drug abuse to military prison to infidelity. But when you fast forward to where we are today, we used every negative experience as a blessing and have used it for good to lead others who have similar experiences to greatness!! That exact process led us to healing our pain and trauma!
Can you share the most interesting story that occurred since you two got married?
Our favorite story in our entire marriage is when I, Tommy was laying half dead in the trauma ICU (bicycle accident) 15 hours away from our home where at that time we were growing weed illegally for a living. We had money, unlimited time, trips, a house, and two wonderful kids, but we absolutely hated our life. Why? We had everything that life tells you that you want, and it did nothing to bring us happiness. While lying there thinking that I was about to die, I had a realization that technically I was already dead on the inside and spiritually. That turned out to be the best day of our life. It sparked a radical burn the boat situation that not only changed our family’s life but now 1000’s of lives through our coaching and speaking!
What inspired you to work together?
Necessity and a vision. After that accident we packed up our family in August of 2020, so right at the beginning of the Covid pandemic, and moved out of California with no income and two mortgages. We had to make it work. There was no plan B. When God said move, we had to move. We had done everything up until this point in our life the way the world tells you to, and it only brought worldly success and that brings worldly pain. So, with our backs against the wall, we went all in on our passions and that just happened to lead us to our purpose. Marriage is two becoming one, not two individuals living separate lives. Marriage is not just about making babies, saving for retirement, and paying bills together. It is about two people with unique individual talents coming together for something far greater!
Have there been any disasters caused by miscommunication? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
The biggest disaster for us was when Tommy was going through an 8-year wilderness season in his life. His faith life got lukewarm, and he was struggling badly with unfulfillment. He never shared that with me and put on a front that he was doing good. That avoidance of vulnerability, not only let us stay at a mediocre marriage spot, but also let him stay in that season so long that he needed a near death experience to wake him up. The biggest lesson was that vulnerability is the sign of a real man and a strong man. Sucking it up and dealing with it is the sign of living in fear and no courage. If you want to advance and feel free, be an open book and spend uninterrupted quality time together daily so you can truly get to know each other!
How do you divide the responsibilities in your company? Can you give examples?
We divide them by our unique strengths and abilities. In the beginning, I tried to make Dianne into another Tommy. That was a huge mistake. We each have strengths that the other person does not have. I am creative and a visionary, and Dianne is an integrator who is efficient with tasks such as accounting, contracts, and other admin work. So, we dominate our lanes and because of that get to see each other in our element thriving, which not only grows our business but our admiration, respect, and love for each other!
What are the “5 Things You Do To Thrive As A Couple”? Please share a story or example for each.
1 . We spend at least 20 minutes of nonnegotiable uninterrupted quality time together every day. For us that is going on a nightly walk whether it is hot, cold, or raining.
2 . We pray out loud over each other daily.
3 . We surround ourselves with likeminded faith-filled growth driven friends.
4 . We make sure our physical fitness is in top shape.
5 . We invest in coaching to keep us sharp in all areas of life.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you share the responsibilities?
As of right now I am pushing harder into my keynote speaking. Being in front of people in person not only fills my cup tremendously but also allows for a deeper connection than virtually. Dianne’s role in this is to be the point of contact for the people bringing us in and handling all the details. We do life together. Where I go, she goes. We do not travel without each other if possible. This allows us to experience similar things but also never miss a day of connection.
What advice would you give to other couples who work together?
The biggest advice is to recognize each other’s abilities and the hard work they do. Yes, we are adults and yes this is a job, but being encouraged and championed is an absolute must. Neither role is more important or better. The quarterback of the football team may be the star, but he would not shine without the offensive lineman. Same thing in marriage and business partnership. I am the face of the company and do the majority of the bigger tasks, but none of that would be possible without Dianne.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person or couple who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
We have paid over 100k in coaching for personal development and business growth, all was phenomenal. But still, to this day the biggest piece of advice we got was “in her own time”. That was told to me by my pastor. I had just had a miracle in my life happen and Dianne was a huge recipient of that. I went full force into my faith life, but she could care less about God, other than believing. I was frustrated with that. I wanted to press her about it but because of the words my pastor said and the following advice which said, “keep becoming the man that you are becoming and allow that fruit to draw her in.” It absolutely did. It took a few years, but that same phrase played out in fitness, personal development, and eventually business. I led by example and showed possibility rather than pressure!
Is there any particular book or concept that helped you overcome a turning point in your marriage?
The Bible. Whether you are a believer or not, that book is by far the best book for growth and how to love and lead. When we made it nonnegotiable to read it every day our hearts changed and so did our actions!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quotes”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your lives?
“What’s in our hearts become our thoughts, our thoughts become our words, our words become our actions, our actions become our habits, our habits become our character, and our character is our destiny.” When we finally took big action to create our business, everything in our life changed. It was not easy. But because we made them nonnegotiable habits, our character changed, which allowed us to see each other differently and for us to see ourselves differently. That led us to never quit and to speak and lead with authority!
How have you used your success to bring goodness to the world?
As a possibility! We both came from broken homes, an impoverished community, and plenty of hurts and traumas. We used all of that to show others that personally, relationally, and professionally there is so much more waiting for you. As of right now we have over 550 million views of our content online. Daily we drop nuggets of advice, love, and tips on how to be a better you.
You are people of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
That you are CHOSEN. You are here for a specific reason and purpose. Nobody was born as an average joe. Every single person has a unique reason as to why they were created. When you see yourself as a 1 of 1, and understand that concept, then you can take the jar off the lid that is holding you back.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them :-)
Ed Mylett! He is our GOAT. We love what he stands for and how he leads and loves. I briefly met him, and I let him know that I was there at the conference to “touch my dreams” and that I would be on his podcast one day. So, Ed, I’m ready!
How can our readers follow your work online?
@tommymccollister on Instagram and Tommy and Dianne McCollister on YouTube.
Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.
About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.
