Lillee Jean On Becoming Free From The Fear Of Failure
An Interview With Savio P. Clemente
My opinion is that letting go of the fear of failure will improve your mental health and help you achieve your goals faster. This is not an easy exercise for anyone to master. It is ingrained in us from a young age that failing is bad, that we must keep pushing forward to succeed, but this creates a tremendous amount of pressure on someone to not only succeed, but I believe sets you up for failure, since you are not focusing on the main goals of growth and success, you are worrying about messing it up.
The Fear of Failure is one of the most common restraints that holds people back from pursuing great ideas. Imagine if we could become totally free from the fear of failure. Imagine what we could then manifest and create. In this interview series, we are talking to leaders who can share stories and insights from their experience about “Becoming Free From the Fear of Failure.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Lillee Jean.
Lillian Jean, a young entertainer with an active online presence, offers beauty, health, and lifestyle tips via her social media accounts. She writes, produces, and directs her own IMDB-approved web series, “Lillee Jean TALKS! Live” (which is in its third season), and airs on her website, as well as her YouTube channel. She is currently in pre-production for her film, “Project: Bullyish” that explores online stalking and bullying, based on her own experiences.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
A native New Yorker with a passion for entertaining. I’ve always loved drawing, painting, and sculpting as a child. Early in my teenage years, I was fascinated by makeup tutorials and loved the way colors blended and the way the skin looked. That’s how it all began.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
I have learned that the most important thing is never to let anyone put you down and tell you that you are less than you are. Since I was a kid, I have dealt with an enormous amount of online hate and cyber stalking, and if there is anything good to come from that, it would be that I know I need to make a difference in online etiquette, rather than just want to make a difference. Online obnoxious behavior can cross the line of Freedom of Speech quickly, and is a debilitating experience. I want to be that person that ensures that better laws and resources are put in place.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
1. Resilience is one of the most important qualities anyone can strive for. The cyberbullying I’ve endured has caused me to experience a great deal of mental stress. As a result, it has impacted my personal life, causing havoc with even the simplest of activities, such as sleeping or going to the store. In spite of anyone who tries to crush me in my tracks, my stamina and resilience are stronger than ever before.
2. My determination to survive and refusal to be told that I can’t do something, has kept me going when I’ve felt hopeless. Nobody, no matter where I am, or what I am doing, has the right to tell me I can’t do something. I used to think that the cyber criminal gang that was stalking me would break me, but in the end, I realized that they have literally made my determination stronger. You can’t force me to leave somewhere I have every right to be. 3. Patience is the most valuable gift anyone can receive. Trying to come to a conclusion about these attacks has been difficult while waiting for help from someone in authority. Patience is one of the most valuable qualities anyone can have. Even when I want and need something to happen right away, I must take a step back and allow the protocol and system to take over. Patience is one of the most difficult skills to master, but I’m working on it.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the concept of becoming free from failure. Let’s zoom in a bit. From your experience, why exactly are people so afraid of failure? Why is failure so frightening to us?
We define failure as not achieving our objectives. My philosophy has always been to never let myself fail, and I think many of us feel the same. For me, failing at something no longer counts as failure, but rather as an opportunity to learn and improve the next time. Many people are taught from a young age that giving up means they have failed. I believe if something is meant for you, it will manifest in a different way back towards you if it is meant to be.
What are the downsides of being afraid of failure? How can it limit people?
Fear of failure can prevent you from succeeding. You already have paralyzed your growth, just by keeping that fear of failure inside of you. In order to grow, it is inevitable that mistakes will be made along the way. I believe that the only way to progress is to allow your mind to open up to the possibilities of letting go. This includes sometimes making the mistakes that are part of growing and learning. It is truly imperative for someone to learn how to spend less time worrying about failing and put more effort into working on a healthier mental headspace overall.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few ways how becoming free from the fear of failure can help improve our lives?
My opinion is that letting go of the fear of failure will improve your mental health and help you achieve your goals faster. This is not an easy exercise for anyone to master. It is ingrained in us from a young age that failing is bad, that we must keep pushing forward to succeed, but this creates a tremendous amount of pressure on someone to not only succeed, but I believe sets you up for failure, since you are not focusing on the main goals of growth and success, you are worrying about messing it up.
We would love to hear your story about your experience dealing with failure. Would you be able to share a story about that with us?
My attempt to deal with this online gang stalking issue had left me feeling defeated for a long time. It was impossible for me to comprehend what I was doing wrong, what I could do to fix this, or how I could gain some control over a situation that has continued to grow and spiral out of control. I finally realized last year that I had to let go of the damage these people had caused me both personally and professionally. It became clear that I needed to take more proactive measures to ensure they do not encroach into my personal life and ruin who I am. The process of letting go of the hate and failure of this situation, accepting that I personally could not fix it, and would require help from outside sources, has helped me to be able to deal with things more effectively nowadays.
How did you rebound and recover after that? What did you learn from this whole episode? What advice would you give to others based on that story?
I began reclaiming my space in the world when I realized I needed help from people with expertise in this situation. The lesson I have learned is that sometimes you must let go and ask for help. It does not necessarily mean you’ve failed. It simply means you’ve acknowledged that a different approach to a situation is necessary.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that everyone can take to become free from the fear of failure”? Please share a story or an example for each.
1 Accept your fear of failure;
2. When facing a challenge, do not be afraid to ask for support and help from others;
3. Acknowledge that if something doesn’t work out the way you expected, it does not mean you have failed;
4. Take things that don’t go your way as a lesson to improve your endgame. Do not become depressed over something that doesn’t go your way.
5. Despite adversity, remain resilient. In the end, you’ll succeed.
The famous Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is possible to fail in many ways…while to succeed is possible only in one way.” Based on your experience, have you found this quote to be true? What do you think Aristotle really meant?
While it is true that there are hundreds of ways to sabotage yourself, your desires and goals, succeeding is a pretty straight forward path. I think that Aristotle was simply saying that to succeed is to remain true to yourself and what your goal is.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I truly wish that people would learn to be kinder and gentler with each other. There are so many things going on in the world, yet we all seem to negate the fact that our time here is shorter than we realize. I would love to see everyone embrace what they can do, and who they can be. .
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if wetag them :-)
I would love to meet with our First Lady Jill Biden, and discuss what her agenda for the youth of the nation is. I know Dr. Biden feels that education is paramount in rising above adversity, so I would treasure being able to hear what her thoughts for change in our education system would be.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lilleejean/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGQF-GZ2oWfgb1NN3QtJJlA (Lillee Jean) Websites: https://www.lilleejean.com and https://www.lilleejeanbeauty.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/REALlilleejean.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/RealLilleeJean
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/LilleeJean
Digital Art: https://www.deviantart.com/lilleejean
Giphy: https://giphy.com/lilleejean
Tenor: https://tenor.com/official/lilleejean
IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm10479689/
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente coaches cancer survivors to overcome the confusion and gain the clarity needed to get busy living in mind, body, and spirit. He inspires health and wellness seekers to find meaning in the “why” and to cultivate resilience in their mindset. Savio is a Board Certified wellness coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), stage 3 cancer survivor, podcaster, writer, and founder of The Human Resolve LLC.
Savio pens a weekly newsletter at thehumanresolve.com where he delves into secrets from living smarter to feeding your “three brains” — head ��, heart ��, and gut �� — in hopes of connecting the dots to those sticky parts in our nature that matter.
He has been featured on Fox News, and has collaborated with Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, Food Network, WW, and Bloomberg. His mission is to offer clients, listeners, and viewers alike tangible takeaways in living a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle.
Savio lives in the suburbs of Westchester County, New York and continues to follow his boundless curiosity. He hopes to one day live out a childhood fantasy and explore outer space.
