Matt Moran: Here Are The Things That Happened in My Childhood That Impact How I Lead Today
An Interview With Cynthia Corsetti
Self Awareness — I truly believe that this is one of the key traits of a leader who wants to lead a healthy team over the long haul. In a post-Covid era where people are especially burned out and re-evaluating their work/life balance, a leader has to be able to look in the mirror and ask him/herself the tough questions, and be willing to receive honest feedback. Leaders who don’t may win some of the battles, but their people won’t stick around long enough to win the war.
In this introspective and reflective series, we would like to explore the intricate web of experiences that form the leaders of today. Childhood, being the foundational stage of our lives, undeniably has a profound impact on our development and the leadership styles we adopt as adults. Be it a lesson learned from a parent, a childhood hobby that cultivated discipline, an early failure that fostered resilience, or even a book that opened their minds to vast possibilities; leaders often have deep-seated childhood experiences that echo in their leadership narratives today. For this interview series, we are talking to seasoned leaders across various industries who share personal anecdotes and lessons from their childhood that have sculpted their leadership philosophies today. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Matt Moran.
For the past two decades, Matt Moran has coached professionals all across the globe, helping individuals and teams to present themselves, both internally and to the external marketplace, with excellence and precision. Through his training and one-on-one coaching, Matt has worked with Fortune 500 companies in nearly every industry, transforming the often daunting task of public presentation into one of simplicity and confident ease.
By balancing theory with practice, Matt works intuitively to fine tune each individual’s presentation style, and is often regarded for his unique ability to connect almost instantly with even the most skeptical course participants. Industry leaders such as Dell, Capital One Bank, Baker Hughes, and Johns Hopkins University continue to collaborate with Matt to keep their executives at the top of their game.
In addition to his coaching, Matt frequently serves as a host/emcee at corporate and entertainment events throughout the U.S. and Europe. He is also an accomplished songwriter, with songs recorded by Grammy-winning and multi-platinum artists, as well as performed on Larry King, The View, CNN, Regis and Kelly, and Good Morning America. He is a featured columnist in several nationally known magazine publications, and continues to balance his passion for improving both individual and team performance with his love of music and the arts.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
I started singing on radio and TV when I was just 8, and basically lived on stage during my formative years. I think those experiences served as a kind of training ground, teaching me how to engage with people in a unique way. I’ve also always been pretty sensitive soul, which has often been quite challenging for me in leadership roles, and given the world we live in. But it also compelled me to want to learn how to connect with people on a deeper level, and to practice things like empathy, compassion and authenticity in a way that would help lessen some of my feelings of loneliness. My friends laugh at me, because I can typically only handle small talk for about 5 minutes. At a party, I’m always the guy who finds that one person with whom I can “go deep,” and then spends the entire evening in the corner talking with them.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Throughout my career, I’ve always loved walking into a training room or keynote scenario where the participants are only there because they were forced to be by management, or where it’s obvious that they think I can’t help them in any way. I love the challenge, and the feeling of satisfaction I get when a participant walks up to me after the talk or session and says, “I gotta be honest. I didn’t want to be here. But I am taking so much from this experience.” My clients tell me that I have a knack for making people feel safe enough to step a bit outside their comfort zone in order to grow. I am incredibly passionate about providing people with valuable communicative tools, and with helping them practice using those tools in a safe and supportive environment. Not much makes me happier than when I see that light show up in someone’s eye when they’ve just had an “a-ha” moment of some kind, or when they’ve realized that they don’t have to keep doing something the way they’ve always done it. I LOVE seeing growth happen. It fuels me.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
- Back when I first began working in the world of training, I would show up to teach a full day presentations course, and try to conduct the entire class without any kind of PowerPoint outline or visual aid. I just preferred to make the entire training one big long conversation, because those were the kind of training sessions that I most enjoyed. I learned pretty quickly that there were people in the room who needed more structure than what I was providing. Once I began incorporating some specific structured elements into the sessions, I noticed the engagement level go way up. All that to say, for me, learning to be flexible in the way that I communicate has been instrumental to my success as a speaker and coach. Realizing that communication preferences are unique to the individual, and learning exactly how to flex one’s communication style in the direction of his/her clients can be game changers.
- I was raised by an amazing single mom who taught me so many valuable life lessons and habits. However, in conflict scenarios, I would often witness her get really wrapped up in the minutiae of the situation, to the degree that it would impair her ability to think objectively. She would sometimes jump to conclusions about a colleague’s motives, take something that was said far too personally, or react to a friend’s behavior rather than respond thoughtfully. Relatively early on in my career, I realized that I had unknowingly adopted some of these habits, and because I didn’t want to suffer in the way my mom had, I began making conscious efforts to move in a different direction. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve witnessed a truly smart leader derail their team’s morale or success simply because he or she didn’t possess the emotional intelligence to effectively navigate a tough situation. Over the course of my career, I’ve continually tried to keep learning about myself and about what makes me “tick” so that I can better understand my own default responses to challenging circumstances or interactions. I am most definitely a work in progress in this arena, but I’m grateful for every little bit of growth.
- As a leader, I have often struggled with feeling as though I needed to have all the answers, and to be good at every everything. But a mentor of mine once said to me, “As you move through life, pay close attention to what makes you come alive on the inside, and also to what you do that causes other people to come alive.” Hearing those words caused me to begin mentally pinpointing the skills and activities that I was passionate about, and freed me to let go of the need to control absolutely every aspect of a project. There’s something kind of magical that happens when you’re spearheading an initiative, and you take the time to identify as a team where everyone’s strengths and passions lie, and then delegate accordingly. That’s not to say that we won’t ever again have to do something we don’t particularly enjoy, but it’s a practice that has allowed me to stay aware of and focused on my strength, and to allow others to tackle what isn’t necessarily “in my lane.” On a foundational level, I think we as humans are built for community, and for experiencing all that people’s gifting and talents have to offer the group as a whole.
Leadership often entails making difficult decisions or hard choices between two apparently good paths. Can you share a story with us about a hard decision or choice you had to make as a leader? I’m curious to understand how these challenges have shaped your leadership.
There were times early on in my career when I frequently questioned my worthiness as a leader. I would lay awake at night and think, “Why would anyone listen to me? Why would anyone see me as worth listening to?” At some point, I heard it said that one of the key ingredients to strong leadership is integrity even when no one is watching, because it cultivates respect for oneself that comes from within. When I heard that, I had to get really honest with myself and admit that I had often rationalized certain actions that weren’t actually aligned with my values in order to achieve a certain goal. When I began making a concerted effort to demonstrate integrity even in the relatively smaller areas, I started to notice that my respect for myself grew stronger, allowing me to feel much more confident in my role as a leader. It’s a practice that is by no means easy, and requires daily diligence because there are so many ways to justify behaviors or decisions that aren’t entirely based in integrity. But I’ve found the reward to be well worth the effort.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. Let’s start with a simple definition. How do you personally define “leadership?”
I see leadership as the act of taking one or more people on a journey of some kind. On an adventure.
Can you recall an experience from your childhood where you felt truly empowered? How does that moment inform your leadership style today?
Being onstage was my first introduction to taking a group of people on a kind of journey, and to feeling as though I had the power to influence them in some way, even if just on an emotional level. What I’ve come to realize is that, no matter what professional role someone might hold, or how “high up” they might be be on professional ladder, they are a human being who possesses feelings, fears, dreams, etc, and to ignore those things in your efforts to communicate with them is to essentially cut yourself off at the knees. I love the quote, “People rarely remember what you tell them, but they always remember the way you made them FEEL.” All that to say….in my speaking and coaching, I always aim to connect with people on an emotional level FIRST, becomes it primes their engagement receptors, making them much more apt to stay with me as we move through the more cerebral information.
Were there any role models in your early years who left a lasting impression on you? How has their influence manifested in your approach to leadership?
When I was in grade school, I put together a musical production with several friends and took it to my music teacher, Mrs. Thurman, asking if she’d let us perform it in front of the entire school. She made it happen, and it wasn’t until many years later that I found out that she received a whole lot of pushback from school leadership over having let a bunch of kids take over a school assembly. About ten years ago, I reached out to her on Facebook and I asked her about it. She said, “I saw a gifting in you from an early age, and I knew you needed to be championed.” Looking back, I can see how her faith in me served as a launching pad for my future in music. To this day, whenever I come across a friend or client who is pondering taking a professional risk of some sort, I do what I can to jump in and champion them in their efforts. I can’t imagine where I’d be today if Mrs. Thurman hadn’t been there as a cheerleader for me, and so I always want to be that for other people. We all need that, no matter who we are.
Many of us had a favorite book or story as a child. Is there a narrative that you were drawn to, and do you see its themes reflecting in your leadership journey?
I was a always a big fan of movies, and when I look back at some of my childhood favorites (The Goonies, The Neverending Story, Flight of the Navigator, Clock and Dagger), it’s clear that I was, even back then, drawn to adventure. Not surprisingly, I still see life in that way — as an exciting story full of twists and turns, successes and failures, that leads us somewhere unexpected, and grows us along the way.
Many leaders find that their greatest strengths arise from overcoming adversity. Can you share an experience from your early life that was difficult at the time, but you find still lingers in your thoughts and informs your actions today?
One of the most painful and challenging points in my life was when I went through gay conversion therapy in my early twenties. I was raised in a Christian home, and when I realized I was attracted to men, I felt as though my only option was to try to kill off the gay part of me. During that four month period, my digestive system shut down, and I sunk into a deep clinical depression. My body and brain took such a hard hit during that period that I’ve had to be especially gentle with myself ever since in terms of what I eat, how much sleep I get, etc. There have been times where I have looked back on that initial experience and questioned why it happened, as that kind of pain and suffering are things that I generally wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. At the same time, I have to admit that I think it carved out in me a deep compassion and empathy for others who are struggling with mental, physical, or emotional wellbeing. As a result of that experience, I’ve learned a great deal about how to take care of my body and mind, and I’ve been able to use that knowledge to help others. I can’t say for sure whether I believe things always “happen for a reason,” but in my experience, wonderfully beautiful things, if we will allow them to be, can be born out of really hard circumstances. I try to keep that in mind whenever I’m facing challenges as a leader, and it allows me to stay hopeful.
Looking back at your childhood, are there particular ‘first-time’ experiences — like your first triumph, your initial setback, or your inaugural leadership responsibility — that you believe were pivotal in molding your leadership ethos?”
As a senior in high school, I was chosen to serve as a leader at a camp for incoming freshman. As I facilitated the small group that I was assigned to, some of the kids started to get really honest about their fears about entering into high school. As I listened, I remember thinking, “Wow…there really is a whole lot more going on underneath the surface of people that I realized.” I think it was there that I saw the importance of looking beneath someone’s outward behavior to what might potentially be going on at a deeper level. As I began taking on other leadership roles in college and beyond, I experimented with this notion in several ways, and found it helpful in navigating team dynamics. No one is just what appears on their resume or on their LinkedIn profile, or even what they might express outwardly. As a result, if one desires to lead a healthy team, it is critical to try to stay conscious of people’s ‘human-ness’ — of their dreams, hopes, fears, triggers — so that you’re not trying to steer the ship on a purely superficial level.
From your personal experiences and reflections, what are the ‘5 Pillars of Effective Leadership’ you believe in?
1 . Vision — Over the years, I’ve witnessed people who are amazing team players get promoted into leadership, only to reveal that they aren’t truly visionaries. It takes a big picture perspective, and the willingness to see the long game, to lead effectively. Not everyone is wired that way, and when people who lack that long range perspective are placed in leadership, that energy is felt by the team as a whole, and they end up struggling to move forward in an effective way. There’s a scripture verse that reads, “Without a vision, the people perish.” I think it hits the nail on the head.
2 . Self Awareness — I truly believe that this is one of the key traits of a leader who wants to lead a healthy team over the long haul. In a post-Covid era where people are especially burned out and re-evaluating their work/life balance, a leader has to be able to look in the mirror and ask him/herself the tough questions, and be willing to receive honest feedback. Leaders who don’t may win some of the battles, but their people won’t stick around long enough to win the war.
3 . Communication — I don’t care how smart or informed someone is, if they are unable to communicate their knowledge in a way that their teams truly understand and can process, they are dead in the water. And being able to model healthy communication is key because it inspires team members to engage with one another in a similar manner. I literally have a job because so many teams have leaders who don’t model this effectively, and so they flounder. When honest, healthy communication occurs in teams, it’s amazing the challenges that can be overcome.
4 . Empathy — I think this one is especially important in a post-Covid era, and in a time where people are, more and more, waking up to the realization that body/mind/spirit actually matter when it comes to long term life fulfillment. Leaders who fail to recognize this sort of ‘cultural awakening’ and act accordingly are no longer able to hold on to their employees in the way they once could. In my own work, I’m seeing so many leaders throwing their hands up and saying, “What are we doing wrong??” And my answer to that question often contains the word ‘empathy.’
5 . Accountability — We used to live in a world where leaders could engage in less than becoming behavior and get away with it. But with the rise of social media and various employee support systems, such is no longer the case. One of the things I witness in healthy, successful organizations is a check and balances system that is actually upheld, along with a leader who is open to honest feedback from his/her team. When a team sees their boss take accountability seriously, they are inspired to follow suit. But without that pillar in place, teams can quite literally fall apart.
In your role as a leader, what thoughts or concerns keep you awake at night? How do these reflections guide your decisions and leadership?
So many, I can’t help but chuckle. I mean, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to often struggling with imposter syndrome at times, thinking, “If these folks really knew what goes on inside my head, would they still want to work with me?” “Do I truly have what it takes to do what I’m doing?” When it comes to managing thoughts like that, I had a parent who used to say, “We are only as sick as our secrets.” All that to say, for me, the key to moving forward effectively is often in my willingness to share my deepest, darkest thoughts and fears with a therapist or close friend. It’s so incredibly easy to hide — to want to conceal some of the stuff that feels really scary. But when I opt to share my truth with someone I trust, I always walk away grateful, and better for having done so. I don’t think that we are meant to move around the earth, much less the professional realm, as islands. I think we are, by our very nature, built for community, and designed to need each other. My ego always wants me to believe that I should be able to do it all myself, but that’s just hogwash. Leaning on people — asking for advice when I need it — has always proved to be the right decision.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
It would 100% revolve around emotional intelligence and self awareness. I’ve seen how critical it is in the workplace, and I often think to myself, “Why don’t we teach this in high schools or universities?” At the risk of sounding like an idealistic dreamer, I often like to imagine a world where everyone is able to step out of themselves at intermittent moments throughout the day, examine their thoughts and behaviors, and make necessary adjustments. I know that we’d be a much healthier and more productive culture if we could all do this. If nothing else, there would be a whole lot less road rage on our interstates. LOL. :-)
How can our readers further follow your work online?
They can go to my website, www.matt-moran.com, or follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-moran-presentations-and-public-speaking-coach-7a5b6224/
Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights.
It’s been an honor to delve into the roots of your leadership journey, and we are grateful for the wisdom you’ve shared.
