Mental Health Champions: Why & How Aftab Hafeez Is Helping To Champion Mental Wellness

An Interview With Michelle Tennant Nicholson

Learn how to manage your energy well. This includes taking excellent care of your physical health, namely diet.

As a part of our series about Mental Health Champions helping to promote mental wellness, I had the pleasure to interview Aftab Hafeez.

Aftab is a music producer and film composer based in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is the creator of the online course, Life Skills for People of Color on the Autism Spectrum, and is also a former Psychoacoustic and UX Researcher at Google.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?

I was born and raised just outside of Sacramento, California, in an area called Granite Bay. My father is from Pakistan, and my mother is from Colombia, South America. They were formerly Muslim and Catholic, respectively, and I grew up with both English, Spanish, and a little bit of Urdu. Being brought up at an intersection of cultures, religions, and languages, it was apparent to me early on that there was not one way to be, believe, speak, or act.

Having a mixed background in so many ways allowed me to understand many other perspectives, but also made it difficult to be accepted by any group. For others, my identity was never simple or convenient to grasp. I was also minimally-speaking for much of my childhood, which made social skills like making friends nearly impossible. Consequently, I immersed myself in my art and music. Unbeknownst to me until very recently, I did apparently receive a diagnosis of autism as a kid, but I wasn’t made aware of it until recently by my family due to the stigma associated with being labeled as “disabled.” As a result, unfortunately, I never received any special treatment or support.

In an attempt to connect with the world around me, throughout my teens and adult life, I read all the books and articles I could find on social skills, and even took a number of courses on the topic, rigorously practicing what I had learned. In my 20s, I began to train myself to think verbally. Though I attained a certain level of success socially, I never felt I could be authentic or have any meaningful social connection. It seemed I would always have to “act” in a way unnatural to my own instincts, which was exhausting both mentally and physically. Furthermore, many of the techniques I learned did not work for me — they didn’t seem to be grounded in the reality I was experiencing, especially taking into account the intersections of my mixed-race identity and neurological differences.

In my late teens, a mental health professional suggested that I might have Asperger’s Syndrome. This was the first time I heard of it, and it seemed to explain many of my own social struggles, habits, and behaviors. I eventually received my autism diagnosis in 2022.

For those who aren’t that familiar with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), it’s a developmental disorder affecting about 1% of the world’s population. It’s a spectrum of symptoms that vary in severity, and support needs can range from high to low. Those with autism run on a different “operating system” from the norm — in fact, our brains are wired differently, and so we process and communicate information and emotions differently. Many challenges relate to socializing, and some symptoms include lack of eye contact, repetitive behavior, hypersensitivity, not understanding social rules and facial expressions (so the idea of “common sense” sometimes doesn’t make intuitive sense to us), and impairment with motor skills and executive function.

Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) — which I would be considered to have — used to fall under the umbrella of autism as it mostly shares the same symptoms but with the absence of early language delay. But since the release of the DSM-V, Asperger’s is no longer a diagnosis and has been merged with autism. So now I’d just be considered Level 1 autistic, which has fewer support needs than Levels 2 and 3. I do want to emphasize that being on the spectrum, whether it’s AS or ASD, also comes with unique advantages that aren’t often recognized. For example, being highly perceptive, creative, logically oriented, and hyper-focused in an area of interest — actually some of the most innovative people throughout human history were on the spectrum.

You are currently leading an initiative that is helping to promote mental wellness. Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are trying to address?

This past April, 2023, I launched an online course on Udemy which is called “Life Skills for People of Color on the Autism Spectrum.” Encouraged by some friends, I decided to create the resource I wished I had growing up. In my own experience and in researching autism, I’ve found that there are little to no resources that cater specifically to BIPOC with autism, which is a different experience that comes with unique challenges and needs.

However, the course is not just for those with autism. Many of the skills I teach can benefit those with ADHD. It can also be a resource for those who are in relationship with us, like friends or partners, and even mental health professionals who want to better support us. I should also mention that I’m hesitant to speak for BIPOC as a whole because the term includes many cultures and embodiments, all of which experience different treatment.

I wanted to make this course because BIPOC with autism are a largely invisible group with little support. For example, many go undiagnosed; and if diagnosed, it’s usually later in life. There are very few studies that address racial and ethnic disparities in autism diagnosis and outcomes; and those that do mostly investigate only African-American and White children, with occasional mention of Latinos and Asians. In the research that I’ve found, African-American children are diagnosed with autism 1.6 years later than White children (Mandell et al. 2002) — a significant difference given how fast a child’s brain is growing at that age. African-American children are also more likely to be misdiagnosed first with ADHD or conduct disorder than White children (Mandell et al. 2007). In another study, a panel of autism experts highlighted the complex role of structural racism in adversely affecting the outcomes for autistic BIPOC adults (Jones et al. 2020). Sadly, this research only scrapes the surface of these struggles. Despite the fact that intersectional research on race and disability has been growing these past few years, almost none of this work covers those who are mixed-race like myself, or the experiences of adults of color with autism. For these reasons, I wanted to bridge this resource and visibility gap and to create a practical resource to help other adult autistics of color safely move through the world.

This leads into how I structured the content for the course. For autistic adults of color to have an opportunity to fruitfully participate in society, social skills that address our unique needs and challenges must be taught. But before we can even get to that, I believe there are fundamental life skills that need to be covered, such as knowing the why’s and how’s of getting an autism diagnosis, defining one’s values and priorities, conserving energy to prevent burnout and meltdowns, managing time effectively, maintaining health and overall well-being, and how to create a safe and nourishing environment. From my own experience, these skills are the foundation for being able to connect to the world in meaningful ways.

Can you tell us the backstory about what inspired you to originally feel passionate about this cause?

My inspiration for making this course comes from my own struggles. With the combination of my (mis)perceived race, being autistic, and my perceived gender, I’ve experienced racist and hostile encounters throughout my life; from discrimination in schools and other institutions, to being stopped and interrogated in venues because I’m “suspicious,” to overt verbal and physical attacks. After 9/11, due to the rise in anti-Muslim sentiment, the discrimination and harassment became more frequent and aggressive. Because my identity is not simple, it isn’t always clear from what combination of angles someone’s intolerance is coming. Given the rise in so many racist hate crimes these past few years, I felt even more moved to share my experiences with the intention of helping others.

My inspiration also comes from the numerous times I’ve been told that “you don’t look/act like you have autism.” Though insulting, it’s a testament to all the work I put in to be perceived as neurotypical. From a young age, I would mimic the precise movements and speech patterns of others, dissecting how language is used, in order to have the social skills I currently have. My obsession with understanding human behavior and thought stems from necessity because I had no other resources growing up. For over 15 years, I’ve been taking copious notes on human behavior, analyzing what techniques have and haven’t worked for me socially, and how to manage my time and energy. If you’re of color and autistic, there’s much more pressure to “mask” — i.e., to adopt mannerisms and perform in a way counter to what you’re actually feeling inside so as not to be further discriminated against, which has many negative health consequences, such as mental illness and suicide (Radulski, 2022). Masking behaviors include forcing eye contact or deliberately stopping stimming behaviors like rocking back and forth.

Actually, around 2010 as an undergrad at Sacramento State University where I majored in Cognitive Psychology, I created a campus organization called Student Relationship Union. My goal then was to help other students with social skills and to create an infrastructure that would facilitate meaningful relationships with peers. In retrospect, I believe I wanted to particularly help those like myself with autism, who struggled the most with life on campus. So making this course now is like a long-awaited fulfillment of my dreams back then.

Many of us have ideas, dreams, and passions, but never manifest them. They don’t get up and just do it. But you did. Was there an “Aha Moment” that made you decide that you were actually going to step up and do it? What was that final trigger?

Like I mentioned earlier, it’s actually been a longtime goal of mine to help to connect with and benefit other people with autism. At the start of 2023, a conversation with my partner Elaine Lai ended up inspiring me to actually share this knowledge in the form of a course. I was originally hesitant to make a course, or even make it publicly known that I am autistic due to potential stigmatization. But in reflecting on the potential benefit this course could have on others, coupled with the fact that this material is not really taught anywhere, I felt inspired to bring the course into being.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?

I shared the course with a Taiwanese friend of mine whom I met at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco when I was doing my master’s degree there. He told me about the children of some of his friends in Taiwan who are probably on the autism spectrum but are undiagnosed. He thought that my course might help the parents better understand what autism is. I hadn’t expected my course to benefit folks all the way in Taiwan, but if it does, then I’m very happy.

None of us can be successful without some help along the way. Did you have mentors or cheerleaders who helped you to succeed? Can you tell us a story about their influence?

I would have to say that my biggest supporter in the process of creating this course is my partner, Elaine. She gave me the original idea of creating the course, and has always reminded me to take walks in between my research and filming.

According to Mental Health America’s report, over 44 million Americans have a mental health condition. Yet there’s still a stigma about mental illness. Can you share a few reasons you think this is so?

Though I can speak more about neurodiversity than mental illness, it is important to note that stigma toward both conditions varies across cultures. Regarding mental illness, I recently read a study that shows Asian Americans, Latinos, and Black Americans face greater stigma toward mental illness, both publicly and towards themselves, in comparison to White Americans. This stigma originates from difficulties accessing quality services, hiding mental health issues out of fear of burdening their families, lack of awareness about mental illnesses, and specific cultural values (Misra et al., 2021). From my own experience and conversations with other people who identify as neurodiverse and BIPOC, this is true and certainly applies to conditions like ASD.

Now, I’d like to address stigmatization against people of color who are neurodiverse, whether that is being on the autism spectrum, having ADHD, or something else. Often, BIPOC feel they cannot afford to reveal neurological differences. When one’s perceived race, disability, and socioeconomic status intersect, it creates a situation called “triple jeopardy” (Suarez-Balcazar et al., 2013). This is because the challenges from racism multiply when one is additionally labeled as disabled, as they now might be misperceived as “incompetent” or a “liability.” Unfortunately, the studies I’ve read do in fact show that disabled people of color face extra challenges with lack of employment opportunity (Gould et al., 2021), and experience more major health conditions like diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and hypertension (Schott et al., 2022). In addition to being disabled and BIPOC, if one is also in poverty, we can easily imagine how difficult it would be to find safety and employment in society given the lack of money, resources, or social capital.

One huge stigma towards autism in particular is its association with lacking empathy — which is a myth. Many of us on the spectrum actually have too much empathy. For example, we readily sense other beings’ suffering, as well as their judgment. From this constant overstimulation, our bodies shut down, e.g. we avoid eye contact and show flat affect. Much of this is covered in a great article by Hume and Burgess (2021). Much research even shows that, while some with ASD struggle with what’s known as cognitive empathy — like knowing social rules and expressions of emotions — our affective empathy (feeling others’ feelings) is normal or even heightened (Rogers et al., 2007; Song et al., 2019).

I want to point out that cognitive empathy can be highly context-specific; it is a product of what country you’re in and what language you speak. And people on the spectrum struggle with intuiting these contextual social rules. Culture and language determine how your inner world of emotions is dissected and compartmentalized, as well as what rules there are for expressing them. Think about this — if you’re speaking to me in a language that I don’t speak, and I don’t “feel” or understand what you’re telling me, do I lack empathy? Of course not! I just don’t speak the same language. Now consider that most research conducted on autistic people’s empathy excludes people of color, who have often experienced racial stigmatization throughout their lives as well. I imagine this would tell an even more different story about our capacity for empathy. I know for me, my experiences with racial discrimination have led me to feel even more compassion for others who have had similar or worse experiences.

Stigma is a serious problem that can also have negative effects on physical and mental health. Although BIPOC with autism may want to disclose their neurodiversity, society has shown that this kind of disclosure may backfire with even more stigmatization.

In your experience, what should a) individuals b) society, and c) the government do to better support people suffering from mental illness?

I can’t speak so much about what I think would really be effective at the government level. But it would be helpful for individuals and society to begin with understanding that neurodiversity and other mental conditions are experienced differently depending on where an individual is at the intersection of race, language/cultural differences, gender, age, and socioeconomic status. More well-informed resources on life and social skills that specifically address BIPOC with autism are also needed — keeping in mind that we’re a diverse group, and a one-size-fits-all approach won’t work.

Individuals can turn a critical eye toward their own biases and stereotyping when they encounter BIPOC individuals who disclose their neurodiversity. Recall the disproportionate challenges and stigmas BIPOC with autism face. Though we may express our feelings differently, we have great empathy and need kindness and respect just like everyone else. Be sure that you aren’t treating us with less respect or consideration than those who might look more like yourself. If you want to go a step further, take initiative to have conversations with us. Just be sure to ask questions, listen, and be open to our responses. It takes time to form trusting relationships.

It’s also important for individuals and society to understand that autism, though it is classified as a developmental “disorder,” is not necessarily a “mental illness.” My health is not poor because I am autistic. Speaking for myself, being on the spectrum has been a huge asset in so many ways, and I’ve never needed a “cure” for it. Having autism is partly the reason why I’ve been able to focus, perceive, disseminate, and analyze so much information and come up with techniques that have helped me. I’ve never seen myself as incomplete or broken at all — only very different and complex. It has come with extreme challenges, but this speaks more to society’s intolerance towards what doesn’t fit neatly into a box rather than being a faulty individual.

Lastly, consider that many who are autistic are especially voiceless — in the literal sense. Many are either minimally-verbal or non-verbal, and so they can’t speak out about their challenges. If you want to support us, share our voices and messages in whatever medium we express ourselves (for me that’s music!). Connect us with and include us more in your networks and institutions. And be sure to give us credit for our contributions when working with us.

What are your 5 strategies you use to promote your own well-being and mental wellness? Can you please give a story or example for each?

You’ll have to take my course to find out! I cover most of the techniques I use in detail in there. But to share some general strategies from the course that I personally use:

1. Identify values and priorities in life, i.e. what you stand for.

2. Learn how to manage your time well and make decisions.

3. Learn how to manage your energy well. This includes taking excellent care of your physical health, namely diet.

4. Prime your environment and make it work for you and keep you well.

5. Use your resources to be of benefit to others’ well-being.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a mental health champion?

I feel like a sense of humor is very important, and so my partner Elaine and I actually co-authored a fun illustrated book at the start of 2023 called “I Love My Bunny,” in honor of it being the Year of the Rabbit in the lunar calendar. It was intended more for people who are in partnership with neurodiverse readers — especially those who might be on the spectrum — and is kind of a quirky and fun book you might read as a bedtime story. You may not see the influence directly, but I’m a big fan of Studio Ghibli films, and we wanted to make something that harkens to our childlike playful sensibilities.

If you could tell other people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?

We are all interconnected, and there are so many causes and sentient beings (not just humans) who could use some support, attention, or care. We all have something to give, and for me, it includes connecting to others through music, and sharing my knowledge through this course so that other people with autism can live more empowered lives.

How can our readers follow you online?

You can connect with me on my website, www.aftabhafeez.com, or find me on Spotify and IG. You can access my course, Life Skills for People of Color on the Autism Spectrum, on Udemy.

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!

About the Interviewer: Inspired by the father of PR, Edward Bernays (who was also Sigmund Freud’s nephew), Michelle Tennant Nicholson researches marketing, mental injury, and what it takes for optimal human development. An award-winning writer and publicist, she’s seen PR transition from typewriters to Twitter. Michelle co-founded WasabiPublicity.com.