Mental Health Champions: Why & How Leonard Szymczak Is Helping To Champion Mental Wellness

An Interview With Michelle Tennant Nicholson

The Call. Since I lost my voice as a child, I am called to use my words daily to inform, entertain, and inspire others to return Home to love and inner peace. I do that in speaking, counseling, and writing books.

As a part of our series about Mental Health Champions helping to promote mental wellness, I had the pleasure to interview Leonard Szymczak.

Leonard Szymczak, MSW, LCSW is an award-winning author, psychotherapist, speaker, and life coach. He is the bestselling author of 6 books and his TEDx talk on fatherhood has been viewed over 110,000 times. For the past 40 years he has worked both in Australia and America, as an educator, writer, and therapist and has helped thousands of clients overcome personal challenges to become the hero of their personal story. www.leonardsz.com

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?

My childhood experience birthed a calling. I grew up on the Southside of Chicago where I witnessed my father’s mental illness, my parent’s raging conflict, and their eventual divorce. Though I had three siblings, I felt alone and struggled with anxiety. To survive, I told no one about my emotional pain and became invisible by not drawing attention to myself. Struggle became part of my life as it was also for my four grandparents who experienced discrimination and a language barrier when they emigrated from Poland and settled in Chicago.

My father left the family the first time when I was six. He left the second time for good when I was nine. Since my mother worked in a factory and struggled financially, my three siblings and I feared that if she couldn’t manage, we would end up in an orphanage. Fortunately, my Polish grandmother helped my mother raise the family.

Growing up my survival strategy was to avoid expressing my feelings. In essence, I lost my voice. However, I learned the life skills of independence and self-sufficiency.

As I became older, I became more conscious of my childhood trauma. That propelled me toward a career as a psychotherapist. There’s an old saying in my profession that those of us who become therapists do so because we need 40 hours of therapy a week. Those 40 hours have turned into forty plus years as a therapist. Every client teaches me something about myself and my own glass walls.

You are currently leading an initiative that is helping to promote mental wellness. Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are trying to address?

Throughout my life, I have been committed to personal and spiritual growth. I believe firmly in the power of the individual to overcome adversity and transform one’s life. Therefore, I utilize the concept of the hero’s journey to empower others to see themselves as the hero of their personal story. This perspective shifts problems and pain into opportunities to create new stories that involve healing and growth.

I use a metaphor of gourds with my clients. My grandmother had a small garden. In one section, she grew gourds, which were like squashes. She told me that if I inserted a growing gourd in a jar, over time it would take its shape. Sure enough, when I placed tiny gourds inside a jam jar, pickle jar, or an odd-shaped container, they assumed the same shape.

In some ways, we are like gourds placed in a jelly jar of life. We survive by adapting and accommodating. Parents, teachers, and ministers expect us to adopt their beliefs and reinforce behaviors with positive and negative conditioning. As a result, we are shaped by adopting roles and behavioral patterns, often suppressing our innate desire to learn, grow, and expand.

Over time, we became unconscious of the glass walls and ceilings and began to believe that we are the jam jar rather than recognizing that we have merely developed coping strategies to live in a jar. That stops us from being our true, authentic selves.

Emotional and mental symptoms merely tell us that we’re constrained by a jar of beliefs. They ask us to become aware of the constrictions of our conditioning and return to who we are, like gourds growing and evolving without glass walls. Healing is about breaking free of the beliefs, the trance that keeps us imprisoned. Self-expression, acceptance, forgiveness, and self-love help us shatter the glass walls and become free to live authentic, true selves.

Can you tell us the backstory about what inspired you to originally feel passionate about this cause?

Since I grew up feeling anxious, insecure, and unsafe, I had a deep longing to find home — that place of inner knowing where I had the right to exist, to feel, to think and act, to love and be loved, to express myself and be heard, to see my potential and have it recognized. That spurred me on my own heroic journey to find Home. I discovered that Home is not the result of finding a place, living with a person, establishing a career, or having material success. Rather, our true Home resides in the heart and soul and remains with us wherever we go. Home is anywhere and everywhere.

The heroic journey Home is like climbing a mountain. That journey can be encapsulated into 5 C’s: The Call, The Climb, The Crash, The Crest, and The Celebration.

• The Call beckons us on a quest to change our lives and live with purpose. It starts as gentle reminders to pay attention to an inner calling. If we neglect the message, wake-up calls in the form of crises force us to pay attention.
• The Climb tests our perseverance, resilience, and inner strength. It forces us to face our fears, expand our resources, and connect with mentors and fellow climbers.
• The Crash involves setbacks, be they with health, finances, relationships, or careers. It forces us to review problems, evaluate options, learn lessons, and recommit to the climb.
• The Crest takes us to the top where we can savor the view and recognize the gifts and lessons from a successful climb. It redefines who we are as a result of the quest and asks us to share the lessons to inspire others.
• The Celebration is about reveling that we are as souls on a heroic journey to return Home. It asks us to celebrate each phase of our journey because life cycles us to the next call, climb, crash, crest, and celebration.

Many of us have ideas, dreams, and passions, but never manifest them. They don’t get up and just do it. But you did. Was there an “Aha Moment” that made you decide that you were actually going to step up and do it? What was that final trigger?

My first real epiphany occurred in a college psychology class. The professor, Dr. Issel, gave us an assignment — write an autobiography. An easy task, or so I thought since I was twenty-one at the time. At that age, I thought I didn’t have much to say other than I was the third of four children, raised by my mother in a poor neighborhood, and learned to survive by becoming self-sufficient. End of story!

As I began to express myself, I became aware of the glass walls. The assignment turned into a hundred pages as I began to find my voice. My feelings poured onto blank pages that became vessels for words I had never expressed to anyone. It was the first time that I shared my childhood experience about living in a household with domestic violence and my father’s mental illness. Writing about it, though terrifying, forced me to come face-to-face with the demons from my past and the impact they had on my life. I had opened a door to my inner world, a world I had never shared with anyone.

While writing, I found a friend who was prepared to listen to me without judgment — a blank page. Each page functioned as a witness for my thoughts and emotions. I felt liberated by the process and even transformed. I had discovered a safe place to reveal myself. That prompted me with a desire to share more. Talking about my experiences helped me uncover thoughts and feelings and let them see the light of day. In the process, I discovered hidden treasures, for there were plenty of insights and lessons of self-discovery.

After I handed in the assignment, I felt both relieved and anxious. What would Dr. Issel think about me? Would he mark me down for not having a happy childhood? Worse yet, would he diagnose me with a mental disorder. Would I be destined to have a nervous breakdown like my father?

My fears and anxieties were never realized as I was rewarded with an “A” for my blood, sweat, and tears. However, something was missing. I needed a personal witness, someone to help me make sense of my world. I yearned to feel heard and understood.

That epiphany taught me that wounds are a part of life; however, the real wounding occurs from our adaptation to the injuries. Silence, suppression, denial, and detachment were ways I coped with pain, but those strategies created a pattern of avoidance that prevented me from identifying unmet needs and satisfying them.

I also learned that out of our deepest wounds come our greatest gifts. The gift that I received was a passion to not only share my story but to help others find their voices and create stories that bring acceptance, forgiveness, love, joy, and fulfillment.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?

Many years ago, I worked with a depressed woman in her 30’s who had a rare debilitating illness. Growing up, she was raised in an abusive household and kept to herself. She believed she was stupid, ugly, and with little hope for the future. She could barely express herself verbally.

I asked her to write her thoughts in a journal in between our sessions and bring them to me so I could read them. Her first entry was one sentence, illegibly scribbled on a crumpled piece of paper. She wrote, “This is stupid!” I thanked her for having the courage to be honest and share her words.

Over time, she brought in a proper journal which I read. Her simple sentences soon became paragraphs. Her paragraphs expanded to pages. Her pages blossomed into completed journals.

As her writing expanded, so did her life. She grew in confidence and became more verbally expressive. She founded a support group for individuals with the rare disability, started a newsletter for the group, and built a remarkable organization that connected families who had members with the disability. In her own way, she found Home with a supportive, loving extended family. Much later, after we had finished our therapy, I received an email from her, telling me that her heroic story had been published in a magazine.

Her story convinced me that miraculous healing occurs when we find our voice, discover our purpose, and turn our dreams into reality.

None of us can be successful without some help along the way. Did you have mentors or cheerleaders who helped you to succeed? Can you tell us a story about their influence?

I’ve been blessed with numerous mentors and cheerleaders over the years. They appeared at various times depending on the mountain that I was climbing, whether it was healing and coaching others, writing a book, speaking, overcoming challenges, or parenting children.

Anyone who succeeds must have coaches/mentors who bring resources and offer clarity for our call, encourage us on the climb, help us overcome crashes, applaud our accomplishments on the crest, and celebrate our heroic journey.

According to Mental Health America’s report, over 44 million Americans have a mental health condition. Yet there’s still a stigma about mental illness. Can you share a few reasons you think this is so?

Being human means that all of us will experience mental health challenges. That may include anxiety, depression, rejection, abandonment, or traumatic events. The problem arises with the belief that we’re not supposed to have any of those and, if we do, we’re sick. No one is broken. The only thing broken in our society is the message that we must be perfect, problem free, and successful.

Once we recognize that we all have mental health challenges, we can talk about them more openly, ask for help, and become part of healing communities.

In your experience, what should a) individuals b) society, and c) the government do to better support people suffering from mental illness?

We need to educate children, parents, and politicians about the importance of psychological, emotional, mental, and spiritual wellbeing. This can lead to programs that help individuals who suffer. These programs must be implemented in areas with populations who have few resources. The wealthy can afford therapists and coaches. The poor have far fewer resources.

What are your 5 strategies you use to promote your own well-being and mental wellness? Can you please give a story or example for each?

I utilize 5 strategies every day. They embody the 5 C’s. Watch the video.

The Call. Since I lost my voice as a child, I am called to use my words daily to inform, entertain, and inspire others to return Home to love and inner peace. I do that in speaking, counseling, and writing books. These questions help to clarify the Call:

• How are you called to use your time and energy now?
• What burning message do you want to convey to the world?
• What talents and gifts are you called to use and develop?
• How do you want to feel when you reach the crest?

The Climb. Since I had learned to be independent and self-sufficient as survival strategies during my childhood, I am continually stretching myself by asking for and receiving help and learning to depend on others. These questions help with the Climb:

• Do you have a map for the climb?
• What resources or talents can you utilize on the climb?
• Who can you rely on as cheerleader or mentor?
• What do you need to make the climb easier?

The Crash. I’ve endured many crashes in my life including going through a divorce of a 26-year-old marriage and 130 rejections before my first book was published. Those crashes taught me the importance of perseverance and reaching out for help to friends, mentors, and cheerleaders in my life. These questions are important to ask when facing a Crash:

• What caused this crash or setback?
• How can you manage this in a positive way?
• What lessons are you are asked to learn?
• Who can you ask for help?

The Crest. I have had numerous successes including six published books, many of which have won awards; a TEDx talk on fathering viewed by over 110,000, a successful private practice, and most importantly, wonderful friends and a close relationship with my two adult children and my four grandchildren. These questions are important to ask on the Crest:

• How does it feel to stand on the top of your mountain?
• How does the perspective change the way you see your life?
• How do you acknowledge your successes?
• How can you reach down and help others reach their crest?

The Celebration. Starting every day with a meditation practice clears my mind and allows me to reboot my life to see each day as an unfolding adventure. These questions foster a mindset of Celebration.

• Can you start and end each day with gratitude?
• How can you appreciate your heroic journey?
• How can you practice self-love?
• How can you inspire others to celebrate?

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a mental health champion?

I love self-help books and stories about overcoming adversity. They inspire me to climb my mountain of personal and spiritual development. Here are a few of my favorite authors: Jack Canfield cocreator of Chicken Soup for the Soul series, Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Michael Singer, Anita Moorjani, Greg Braden, Lynn McTaggart, Dalai Lama, and Oprah Winfrey

If you could tell other people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?

I would share two quotes.

“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight.” — e.e. cummings:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” — Margaret Meade

How can our readers follow you online?

They can visit my website www.leonardsz.com

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!

About the Interviewer: Inspired by the father of PR, Edward Bernays (who was also Sigmund Freud’s nephew), Michelle Tennant Nicholson researches marketing, mental injury, and what it takes for optimal human development. An award-winning writer and publicist, she’s seen PR transition from typewriters to Twitter. Michelle co-founded WasabiPublicity.com.