Mental Health Champions: Why & How Petra Velzeboer Of PVL Is Helping To Champion Mental Wellness

An Interview With Michelle Tennant Nicholson

Dream Big. I believe many of us are depressed or anxious because we’re living someone else’s version of our lives. We’re not aligned with who we want to be in the world but we don’t have the tools to change things. Dreaming, creativity and imagining other options is a first step to creating change.

As a part of our series about Mental Health Champions helping to promote mental wellness, I had the pleasure to interview Petra Velzeboer.

Petra Velzeboer is a renowned psychotherapist and mental health expert, international speaker, and CEO of her own consultancy, PVL. She holds a Master of Science in Psychodynamics of Human Development and her expertise includes youth and employee mental health, learning and development and creating healthy work environments and cultures. Her first book, Begin with you, is due out in May 2023.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?

I grew up in what many would consider an ‘alternative’ way. While I’m Dutch by passport, I lived all over the world, in communes in India, Brazil and throughout Europe. I was raised in a blended family and was taught the world was going to end — I did not go to school and as a young adult I finally became aware that I was actually born and raised in the notorious Children of God cult. This was a major turning point, and at 22 years old I started a new life in London. While my early years were not easy, neither were my twenties as I tried to navigate a world I was totally unprepared for. I struggled with poor mental health and some real rock-bottom moments, but through those experiences I eventually taught myself the skills to build a great life and take responsibility for my own wellbeing. And now, I’m able to share those insights with others.

You are currently leading an initiative that is helping to promote mental wellness. Can you tell us a bit more specifically about what you are trying to address?

Mental health in the workplace has become an essential topic over the last few years, but many companies are still focused on a crisis narrative. They are putting tools in place after-the-fact, trying to help employees who are already burnt out, depressed, anxious or no longer able to come into work, and forgetting that prevention saves costs in the long run.

I recently worked with a company that conducted a study called the Adaptavist Reinventing Work Report, which looked at the state of work in our new post-pandemic world, including workers’ views on hybrid vs. in-office work life, productivity and collaboration, and health and wellbeing. And to my point about lack of prevention, the results showed that almost a third (31%) of employees in the US are not offered any resources from their employer to support their mental health and wellbeing. And of those that are offered resources like EAP (Employee Assistance Programs), 45% have not accessed them and almost 10% didn’t know they existed. In addition, when asked about how employers could create a more ‘pro-employee’ environment or culture for workers returning to the office, the majority of respondents said they wanted flexible hours and more vacation time to help prevent burnout and make them feel more appreciated.

Many business leaders question the cost of investing in an adequate mental health and wellbeing initiative but the question they should really be asking themselves is the cost to the business if they don’t.

This is something we focus on at PVL. The future of work really depends on creating systems that enable us to focus and perform at our best — whether in a hybrid or office scenario. So, we help companies create environments where people can thrive and we help individuals take personal responsibility for their wellbeing. We do this through our in-depth Wellbeing Strategy Program, as well as courses, training and events.

Can you tell us the backstory about what inspired you to originally feel passionate about this cause?

Mental Health is deeply personal for me. I mentioned my early life, which had a tremendous impact on my choice to pursue a career in mental health, but I actually began work in the not-for-profit sector, supporting children and young adults. Then I was a Clinical Director for an Employee Assistance Program (that helpline you can call if you need support at work). Those two experiences really inspired me because I saw a lot of kids and adults hiding behind a mask or pretending to be OK in order to survive.

I know intimately what it’s like to do that — to wear a mask in order to survive — and I continue to see that in the clients I work with today. Wearing a mask, hiding secrets behind a smile, and drowning my sorrows in silence and addiction nearly ended my life, so pushing for new cultures that allow people to be honest and mentally healthy has become an important quest for me.

I never set out to create a business though — my mission was built from frustration. I worked in so many places that talked a good game and gave advice to others, but actually created toxic environments within their own companies. So, I set out to change that. I wanted to prove that it was possible to ‘walk the talk’ and build a mentally healthy culture within a mental health consultancy — one that was open, honest and put people first while being successful. That’s what I’m privileged to be building with the PVL team.

Many of us have ideas, dreams, and passions, but never manifest them. We don’t get up and just do it. But you did. Was there an “Aha Moment” that made you decide that you were actually going to step up and do it? What was that final trigger?

‘Practice bravery every day’ — that’s been one of my mantras and it has led me to a few “aha moments”. Like many people, life has been a difficult journey for me at times. I’ve had to dig deep to overcome obstacles, fear, rejection — you name it. So I didn’t always identify the “aha’s” as such when they were happening, but in retrospect I’ve seen their impact and how one decision can truly change the course of a life.

For example, I remember waking up one morning in my twenties with two young kids, no direction in life to speak of, and actually thinking maybe I should end it all, maybe I would be better off dead. I know that sounds shocking but that’s where I was — at the bottom. Then, luckily, a second thought entered my mind: what if I gave myself one more year? What if I tried once more to turn things around? It was a thought that opened me up to experimenting with a whole range of things that were in my control that would help me change my life. It was the bravery I mentioned earlier. But at the time, it didn’t feel like bravery. It didn’t feel like I was manifesting anything. It just felt like survival. But by putting one foot in front of the other I began practicing bravery. And, over time, this has given me a totally different life. One I wouldn’t even have been able to imagine then.

Another ‘aha moment’ was when I trained as a coach about a decade ago. In a practice exercise I was asked ‘What do you want?’ I had actually never considered that question before in my entire life. I was raised on groupthink and expectations (that’s the focus of cults), and even though I had been free from that for many years, I still carried that mindset with me — Who needs me? What’s expected? Asking me what I wanted was another moment that set me on a totally different path again. It prompted me to think differently, which then prompted my divorce and some major career moves to improve my overall wellbeing overall. It’s a useful question to ask yourself at any ‘stuck’ moment.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began leading your company or organization?

It’s not a story per se, but I think what’s really interesting — and what I’m most proud of — is that we’ve accomplished what we set out to do at PVL, namely to create a culture that fosters both positive mental health and business success. I mentioned earlier that I worked for a lot of organizations that gave great advice about promoting mental health and wellness, but then didn’t support it themselves. I vowed to do things differently.

My team and I are open with each other about our wellbeing — going as far as to ask each other how our mental health is in team meetings. I know this can seem ‘a bit much’ to some people, but it’s important. We’re really asking about our overall lives and crucially, if we can support each other. It’s not so much about finding out if people are depressed or anxious (though we have discussed that, and more at times) — it’s about sharing a vision where mental health is about all of us. We know that if someone is struggling with their mental health, it doesn’t mean they are bad at their jobs or should automatically take time off. On the contrary, work might be their safe place, a place where they belong and have routines and purpose which can be good for their wellbeing. So we create that safe space. We even have health goals alongside our targets that we discuss as a team. And by focusing on each other and the team’s happiness, engagement, and inclusion we also improve performance and the bottom line of the business.

None of us can be successful without some help along the way. Did you have mentors or cheerleaders who helped you to succeed? Can you tell us a story about their influence?

I’m fortunate to have my big sister as my biggest cheerleader — she is always so proud of me and will tell everyone just how far I’ve come. As for mentors, I’ve had many along the way — authors, leaders, storytellers — some of which I’ve never even met! I’ve always been curious about how other people do things and have learned through their actions.

I’ve also been intensely curious and not afraid to ask if I can learn from others. I offer as much value as I can in return, but have also found that people who do cool things usually want to share what they’ve done and how they did it, and pay it forward. However, while it’s important to listen to your mentors, don’t forget to think for yourself. It’s your life after all, they can only advise from their lens.

According to Mental Health America’s report, over 44 million Americans have a mental health condition. Yet there’s still a stigma about mental illness. Can you share a few reasons you think this is so?

If we look at much of the media portrayal of mental illness, it’s still something that’s mainly relegated to ‘quirky’ people who don’t belong or dangerous people — not those in the ‘mainstream’. And most of us don’t want to be associated with an illness that’s painted in that light. Humor can also be derogatory to mental illness or make light of it — comedians say things like ‘I’m a little bit OCD’ which makes people hide further. And while things are slowly changing at work, people still fear judgment, reduced opportunities or other repercussions if they talk about mental health.

These reactions make people feel misunderstood. And when we feel misunderstood we often feel shame and then shut down — our survival brain tells us it’s just not worth it to tell someone how we really feel. And so we suffer in silence and it gets worse.

People forget that mental health issues affect everyone. High achievers experience depression, the person who’s the ‘life of the party’ may think about suicide, the person who appears to have it together at work can be anxious. Mental health conditions are everywhere — and our environments and systems play a key part in. That study I mentioned earlier found that 66% of global workers feel invisible at least occasionally and 35% feel so overwhelmed with work that they no longer have time to even talk with colleagues. So why not make the first move and talk about it? You’d be surprised how many people will say ‘me too’ and sigh with the relief of the shared human experience.

In your experience, what should a) individuals b) society, and c) the government do to better support people suffering from mental illness?

For the vast majority of people, a decline in mental health is a slow sliding scale — it can start with feeling like you don’t have a voice or being in an oppressive environment and continue with wearing a mask to hide emotions or trauma, and then culminate with staying stuck in a life you don’t want — these are all elements that can move us into a difficult place mentally. But each individual will have things within their control that they can focus on to take personal responsibility for their wellbeing. And getting support is a first step.

Society has a lot to answer for too — as does the government. Mental illness should not be punished. With the effects of the pandemic and subsequent rise in remote technology, many people are lonelier than ever, isolated, unpracticed in being their full selves. One last statistic from the Adaptavist survey that I found interesting was that while employees said they wanted to work in a hybrid environment and even felt more productive that way, an overwhelming 89% said that in-person connection with colleagues is critical or at least important to their wellbeing. So businesses have a challenge in balancing the newfound freedom that people want while fostering an environment and culture of collaboration that makes them feel connected — even when in different parts of the state, country or world. And back to individual responsibility, people need to take advantage of community, art, and volunteer programs — anything that helps them cultivate a feeling of belonging. And societies need to prioritize and create more of these opportunities.

And don’t get me started on big pharma. While I’m all for medication and have benefited from it myself, so often people are overmedicated, labeled and forgotten. There is no magic pill. And relying on medication can sometimes make people give up and just accept their state of being (I call it the ‘it is what it is’ syndrome). This tends to absolve them of the need to invest in themselves further — their sleep, nutrition, exercise and relationships. Even with professional support, it’s useful to do our own research, discuss with a trusted friend and experiment with a wellbeing path that works for us. Medication can help, but it’s not the end-all, be-all.

What are your 5 strategies you use to promote your own well-being and mental wellness? Can you please give a story or example for each?

• Dream Big. I believe many of us are depressed or anxious because we’re living someone else’s version of our lives. We’re not aligned with who we want to be in the world but we don’t have the tools to change things. Dreaming, creativity and imagining other options is a first step to creating change.
• Practice Bravery. I said this one earlier but it’s so important I’m saying it twice. People think you either have bravery or you don’t, but actually bravery is a skill that you can cultivate. Do something each week that scares you a little — could be something small like trying a new food or going to the movies on your own — anything that takes you out of your comfort zone. Eventually, it becomes like a muscle you can flex when you need it. I practice bravery often which enabled me to make some decisions that I wouldn’t have otherwise — which has led to a healthier life.
• Be Honest. As someone with an addiction history, honesty has become crucial to keeping my wellbeing in check. It’s not just a ‘nice to have’, it’s essential for me to live a good life.
• Move More. Of course sleep and nutrition are important but for me, movement is non-negotiable. Whether it’s walking, stretching or more intensive exercise, the science highlights how movement prevents burnout and releases stress and trauma from the body.
• Embrace Radical Responsibility. Accepting and embracing responsibility has been a crucial step that enabled me to change my life, start my business and create change for others. I used to consider myself a victim of my past, blaming others for my experience, all the while only hurting myself. Once I realized there were wellbeing tools that could help me and that I could experiment and find the ones that really worked for me, and that opened up a whole new world to me. Start with you — find what works for you — this is essential to taking responsibility and improving your own mental health over time.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a mental health champion?

I listen to a number of business and mindset podcasts such as Stephen Bartlett and Lewis Howes. You can also listen to my recent interview on the Team Titans podcast series where I spoke openly and honestly about wellbeing at work, how leaders can navigate this sensitive and complex subject, and how they can support their teams through challenging times.

And while I love podcasts, it’s books that have really influenced me the most when it comes to this topic — here are a few of my favorites:

• Mental Health at Work by James Routledge
• How to do the Work by Nicola Pererra
• Untamed by Glennon Doyle
• The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor

If you could tell other people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?

Each of us is a piece of our culture — we make up the environment. If you don’t like it, start with you — change you — and watch the positive ripple effect spread out.

How can our readers follow you online?

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/petra-velzeboer/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/petra.velzeboer/

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!

About the Interviewer: Inspired by the father of PR, Edward Bernays (who was also Sigmund Freud’s nephew), Michelle Tennant Nicholson researches marketing, mental injury, and what it takes for optimal human development. An award-winning writer and publicist, she’s seen PR transition from typewriters to Twitter. Michelle co-founded WasabiPublicity.com.