Mindset Expert Sasha Laghonh On 5 Things You Need To Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Confidence
An Interview With Stanley Bronstein
Self-care should precede nurturing any personal or professional goal. This includes taking care of one’s physical health, mental well being and emotional health. All aspects of the individual are needed to fuel performance when working towards any life endeavor. Becoming negligent of one’s health, eventually gets in the way of how one rationalizes their decisions with clarity and confidence. When we feel good, we look good. When we look good, we want to perform well. We serve as the nucleus for our well-being which radiates outwards into our environment. Self-care is born from a place of self-respect. Those two elements play a critical part in how we view ourselves and others.
Self-doubt can hold people back from reaching their full potential, whether in their careers, relationships, or personal growth. Confidence is a skill that can be developed, but what are the most effective strategies to overcome negative self-talk and build lasting self-assurance? In this interview series, we are talking to mindset coaches, psychologists, authors, and other experts who can share actionable insights on overcoming self-doubt and cultivating confidence. As a part of this series we had the pleasure of interviewing Sasha Laghonh.
Sasha is the Founder of Sasha Talks, an educational and entertainment platform that integrates professional and self development into nurturing meaningful outcomes. She serves as a Senior Advisor to C-Suite executives and entrepreneurs among multiple industries. As a speaker, mentor, host and author, she partners alongside clients (individuals and organizations) to capitalize upon their talent. To learn more, visit www.sashatalks.com.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in Southern California before my nomadic adventure brought me to other geographies within the United States, including opportunities to live abroad. This granted me a chance to observe and meet people from all walks of life through my academic and social environments. I know how it is to be homeschooled, situated in public schools, Sunday School, and private institutions. Change became an integral theme embedded throughout my childhood transitioning into adulthood with less resistance thanks to these life experiences. Thus embracing change and navigating through it isn’t a foreign concept for me. It has definitely helped me leverage and capitalize those experiences when contributing in the business realm.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
While I’m vested among a few careers, it was my initial interest in economics and statistics that helped me seal the decision to pursue a career in business. Once upon a time, I was contemplating a possible career on Wall Street. I’m glad my life took a detour because I was invited to develop my interests and contribute my expertise among different industries. Those same opportunities from decades ago continue delivering dividends because I’ve continued my professional development to serve the present markets. The thought of taking a concept and bringing it to life through a product or service excites me to this day. I’ve been fortunate to honor such collaborations with teams as well as invest in individual endeavors which deliver solutions to improve our quality of life.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I’ve made a handful of mistakes either emanating from a place of naiveness, or simply not knowing better. The following may not be a mistake but recognizing the recipient of your message is important. While the days of leadership are evolving, I’ve always been comfortable around high powered individuals who may not expect constructive guidance coming from a novice professional. I delivered my recommendations to whom I thought was the CMO who turned out to be the CEO. Titles don’t intimidate me. Most of these people are men in suits — they’re not supermen. I believe deep down the CEO had a good chuckle when I left the conversation. The landscape is evolving in management and leadership, but watching a well known CEO staring you down as ‘who do you think you are’ is amusing in hindsight.
It’s only a handful of men who leverage the keen insights of professional women to truly develop their business acumen granting them a competitive advantage among their peers and the markets. The lesson is to be yourself while remaining respectful of people and circumstances involved. Stick to your message with grace. Also don’t lower your standards to make things work. This isn’t about extending favors because we’re not a kid’s birthday party.
It’s a business transaction. All vested parties need to pull their weight to make things work.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
New business and lifestyle content is being rolled out on a cadence. The information is relayed in print and audio format which allows people to conveniently consume the content as they go about their day. The material is relevant for business leaders, business owners, entrepreneurs and those seeking professional development. As the ambassador of Style of My Soul, a lifestyle community, readers are granted access to educational content helping them level up in their personal, social and professional lives. The theme of these coming few months is ‘forward and onward’. People are encouraged to metaphorically fly at different altitudes to discover what interests them for self development and goal setting.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. If someone wanted to take on a major goal — like permanently losing 20 pounds, or writing a book — but wasn’t sure they could do it, where should they start?
My guidance always starts off by asking people why the person is pursuing their respective goal.
Are they doing it for themselves, or for someone else? It’s nice to be inspired to do something but if you’re not doing it for yourself, this can invite room for resentment down the road. For example, if you’re wanting to lose weight, do it for the right reasons. If it’s a personal goal and/or to improve one’s health, then go for it. If you’re doing it to only make a specific person happy then more self reflection is needed. People along with circumstances come and go in life, but the decisions you make (regardless of the reasons) will remain. Resentment creeps in when the individual makes a decision to go along with an idea when they themselves are resistant to the idea. They don’t speak up, nor do anything to mitigate the resistance. Therefore when a decision falls sideways, they resent either the person or the circumstance around them when in fact the root cause of their resentment is them not conducting their due diligence prior to embarking upon the goal. It’s not a selfish concept, there’s wisdom behind it. Once the why is established, then map out the goal with realistic milestones to ensure one is consistently committed to yield progress over a respectable timeline.
The results of the goal “stick” when the individual is clear about their intent, their reasons for pursuit and their milestones (which include grace for correction when the goal in question requires refinement during the execution stage).
How much of a role do you think belief plays in a person’s ability to succeed? In other words, how important is it to truly believe they can achieve something? Can you share a story or example that illustrates this?
Belief is the main ingredient that fuels the person’s ability to succeed. I work with men and women very closely in terms of their respective goals whether it’s in the business and/or personal spaces. Anyone can acquire the tools and follow a checklist of actions to yield a certain outcome. It may work in the immediate short term but those results aren’t sustaining among those who succeed in the short term future. Belief paired with intent, desire and action will take one further in life. I view belief as the air and water needed to nurture every cell in one’s body, activating the person’s mind, body and soul to engage with life around them. Belief attracts other life giving forces to support one’s ability to succeed. It doesn’t deliver immunity from things being difficult but it extends a means to cultivate progress and survive the bumps of life in the process. Sometimes people treat life to be a formula where a few variables need to be plugged in to create results. This has nothing to do with having or not having money. Belief has to do with who you are and what you believe in as an individual. There is a reason why a very limited percentage of people succeed with their respective goals. Luck has very little to do with it.
Motivation is key to getting started, but it inevitably fades. When that happens, what strategies do you recommend for staying committed and pushing forward?
This is why I corner my prospective clients, which include individuals and businesses, for why they are pursuing certain endeavors. If their ‘why’ is not strongly rooted in their belief system, or it’s not articulately well to support next steps of goal setting, they will struggle. Motivation needs to come from within. Some people respond better when incentivized whereas others do not require any external validation to continue trudging forward with their goals. When struggling with motivation, do your best to remind yourself how you will benefit from completing (and achieving) your commitment. If the belief and desire are not strongly planted in the individual, the person will struggle more than others to overcome potential doubts and inner resistance. It’s easier to talk oneself out of a goal rather than convincing oneself for pursuing a variable is worth it.
In such circumstances, I recommend reassessing the goal planning and mapping out smaller milestones to celebrate progress. People should pace themselves when struggling with motivation because over ambitious minds may expect immediate results which lack alignment with sensible results. Good things take time to develop if one is serious about sustainable results. Lack of tracking one’s performance can also lead to burnout which will automatically compromise one’s motivation to proceed with care.
Here is our main question. “What Are The 5 Things You Need To Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Confidence?” (If possible, please share a story or example for each one)
1. Self-care should precede nurturing any personal or professional goal. This includes taking care of one’s physical health, mental well being and emotional health. All aspects of the individual are needed to fuel performance when working towards any life endeavor. Becoming negligent of one’s health, eventually gets in the way of how one rationalizes their decisions with clarity and confidence. When we feel good, we look good. When we look good, we want to perform well. We serve as the nucleus for our well-being which radiates outwards into our environment. Self-care is born from a place of self-respect. Those two elements play a critical part in how we view ourselves and others.
2. Life is about learning. We’re all a work in progress. Understand that mistakes will unfold along our way of achieving goals. We are responsible for acknowledging and taking accountability for our decisions. Course correction exists for most of our decisions. Become a humble student to grow for the better. Mistakes are not sins. They can redirect our path to redemption if we’re truly committed to producing healthy results in our lives. The more you practice making decisions and executing them, you’ll become better at life performance.
3. You are the company you keep. Choose to surround yourself with people who align with your values and life goals. Stop playing small — get real about your life goals. When the right people are around you, there will be no bandwidth for disrespect, resource mismanagement and enabling of degenerate ideas. The right people will hold you accountable for your contribution. There’s a reason why certain circles are small. They adhere to zero tolerance for nonsense. This is an opportunity to develop self-respect as one gently discovers the right environment for them to thrive. Become the person you aspire to be. The right people will call you out on your ‘bs’.
4. Good results are a byproduct of conditioning. This includes crafting a ritual and activity practices that condition your entire being to perform well on a daily basis. Consistent practice feeds our confidence for how well we approach a certain craft. It doesn’t immune us from engaging in errors. Conditioning ourselves with focus and intentful direction can and will override self doubt overtime. Removing doubts 100% is unreal because we’re humans always exposed to different circumstances around the clock. It’s okay to feel doubt but it’s more critical to release it. You control the mind, the mind doesn’t control you. Watch the self talk, manage your actions well and execute conditioning with regular self-assessments.
5. Ask questions. This extends beyond the learning process because questions are a part of life. When one doesn’t understand something, or they yearn to know something — simply ask. There are many resources available online and offline to discover answers. Remember, the information is only as reliable as the source. Apply discernment when seeking answers to questions. Connect with people who align with your interests to understand your goals (for example) better. Do not rely on one person or source to be the end all. Process the information at face value, leaving room for alternative views. Work on your identity by better understanding who you are and what matters to you. This will serve as a sensible marker to guide you in the right direction while navigating life. Activate the inner child within you to enjoy the journey rather than focusing on a set outcome. Asking questions can inspire people as well as welcome people to adjust their outcomes along their growth journey. Leave some flexibility instead of becoming rigid in one’s views. There are many ways of excelling at life. Become your best self.
Have you worked with any clients or patients who achieved results that went beyond what they originally thought possible? If so, could you share a story or two to inspire our readers?
I have a handful of these stories that bring a smile to my face!!! It’s humbling to learn my clients have developed a level of resilience that garners a standing ovation from me (and they know I don’t lower any standards to please them).
It’s a wonderful feeling to receive pictures of children I’ve envisioned for them, receiving pictures from weddings and bachelor parties (lol), receiving virtual tours of homes actualized by new owners, ribbon cutting ceremonies for business launches … it’s amazing, that’s all I can say! It reaffirms my purpose for sharing my business expertise and intuitive insights to help people needing gentle direction.
I have worldwide clients who sought me in certain stages of their life when they were convinced certain blessings were out of reach. Now they’re enjoying new life goals, some include: starting businesses, changing careers, embracing marriage, welcoming parenthood, developing independent relationships, writing books, moving to a foreign country, changing residences; etc.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I welcome people to walk up to a stranger and say hello. Say hello, or extend a polite comment, to bring a smile to a stranger’s face.
We live in a chaotic world where people are either staring at phones, lost in thought or simply distracted by life. Smile, say hello and wish them well. Don’t expect anything in return. Go about your day. If you receive a response, great. If not, you contributed some good cheer in the universe. I’ve acquired acquaintances in recent years by visiting foreign places this way. There is no set time or place for this to take place. Go live your life, let the rest fall in its place.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
I’ll take any meal with Michael Jordan. He’s been on my mind the last few months. It would be wonderful to discover his life insights. I suspect he has a comedy bug in him but I’m not expecting him to perform! A nice conversation works well. For anyone raising their eyebrows … Yes, I’m referring to THE Michael Jordan, the basketball star.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Wonderful humans, you’re welcome to drop a hello by visiting www.sashatalks.com. Thanks!
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.
Thank you for asking questions that matter to help people embrace their breakthroughs starting today.
About the Interviewer: Stanley Bronstein is an attorney, CPA, and author of more than 20 books. However, he doesn’t consider any of those his greatest achievement. His most significant accomplishment was permanently losing 225 pounds and developing the personal growth system that made it possible — The Way of Excellence. As a catalyst for change, he has dedicated his life to helping others maximize their potential, transform their lives, and achieve optimal health. To learn more, you can download a free PDF copy of his latest book, The Way of Excellence Journal, at https://TheWayOfExcellence.com.
