The most important thing is to try to understand that person even it’s difficult or sometimes seems impossible. For the sensitive person, the most important thing is to feel that the partner believes him/her. As a partner of a highly sensitive person, you will often hear strange ideas, you will face weird moods, or you will feel unfamiliar emotions. The good news is that you will never be bored.
As a part of our series about How To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person, I had the pleasure of interviewing Angela Martini. Born in Shkodër, Albania, during a time of economic unrest, Angela Martini moved to Switzerland at the age of ten. She began her professional modeling career at the age of eighteen, and at the age of twenty-one, against the advice of the people around her, she booked a one-way ticket to Miami to pursue a modeling career in the United States. Within a few months, she was signed by Elite Model Management, one of the world’s premier modeling agencies in New York City. In 2010 Angela was crowned Miss Universe Albania. Two weeks later, she placed sixth in the Miss Universe pageant, still the highest finish for any Miss Albania. Incredibly, she achieved this without any training or preparation — or even a hair and makeup team! In 2017, Angela found a new passion for helping others and became a certified life coach. She recently published her first book, Love. Hope. Light as a guiding light to those who may only see darkness. She hopes her story will inspire others to overcome their own personal trials.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself and what you do professionally?
My name is Angela Martini, I’m a certified life coach and the author of Love. Hope. Light. For several years, I was an international model and also competed in the Miss Universe pageant representing my native country of Albania. In 2017, I became a life coach and today, I’m focused on helping others overcome personal issues and strive to be the best version of themselves through my coaching.
Can you help define for our readers what is meant by a Highly Sensitive Person? Does it simply mean that feelings are easily hurt or offended?
A highly sensitive person is someone who is pretty much on the way to enlightenment because he or she feels everything more powerfully. They can easily understand the spiritual world, which is the base of our reality. They also can see past the material walls of our society. Being a highly sensitive person can be challenging to understand for people who are not highly sensitive. In today’s society, it can even appear to be a negative characteristic or a handicap. The reality, though, is entirely different. If managed the right way, being highly sensitive can be a huge advantage.
Does a Highly Sensitive Person have a higher degree of empathy towards others? Is a Highly Sensitive Person offended by hurtful remarks made about other people?
A highly sensitive person may feel or express too much toward others, and that can, in turn, make you feel like you don’t fit in or something is wrong with you. However, this is not the case. As an HSP, your brain is more sensitive, and you feel every feeling way more amplified.
Does a Highly Sensitive Person have greater difficulty with certain parts of popular culture, entertainment or news, that depict emotional or physical pain? Can you explain or give a story?
As an HSP, you see shades of emotions that no one else sees. You understand and feel the world differently. This being said, a highly sensitive person might not be able to handle watching or learning about upsetting or sad things on the news. They will likely feel the pain of the people involved or directly affected, unlike others who can watch the same thing and move on with their lives.
When does the average person’s level of sensitivity rise above the societal norm? When is one seen as “too sensitive”?
I think being highly sensitive is all about perception. If the majority of people don’t feel or react the way a highly sensitive person reacts or feels, then they’re automatically seen as “too sensitive” only because they are not the majority. However, this is not true. That person is just unique, and the others don’t have the tools to understand or feel what they feel.
I’m sure that being Highly Sensitive also gives one certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that Highly Sensitive people have?
As an HSP, you see shades of emotions that no one else sees. You have a fantastic intuition, and you can be a great leader offering cooperative and compassionate leadership. You help the ones around you to process their feelings and discover ways to meet their needs.
There seems to be no harm in being overly empathetic. What’s the line drawn between being empathetic and being Highly Sensitive?
Empathetic people share a lot of the same characteristics as highly sensitive people. They both absorb other people’s emotions, and both require alone time and have an aversion to large groups. Although they are both introverts, empaths can sometimes also be extroverts too. They both share a love for quiet environments and feel a strong sense to help others.
Social Media can often be casually callous. How does Social Media affect a Highly Sensitive Person? How can a Highly Sensitive Person utilize the benefits of social media without being pulled down by it?
The essence of social media is to share. People share their daily lives, their thoughts, their favorite things, etc. A highly sensitive person can tend to express too much at times, and that can, in turn, make them feel as if they don’t fit in or something is wrong with them. You need to be aware of the fact that others may not understand you because they don’t have the tools you have. Although challenging, once you understand and accept that, you need to use this gift in your favor. You have ideas, intuitions, strong emotions, and profound thoughts, and they should be shared.
How would you advise your patient to respond if something they hear or see bothers or affects them, but others comment that that are being petty or that it is minor?
You must remove yourself from that person or situation. Removing yourself is a way of protecting yourself, and although it sounds harsh, it is necessary. You need to create your own rules for everything because you live just one life and you should live it the way you want it! This is not only for a highly sensitive person but for everyone.
What strategies do you recommend to your patients to overcome the challenges that come with being overly sensitive without changing their caring and empathetic nature?
You need to follow a particular way of living and create individual rules for yourself to protect yourself and to really thrive. The more you speak and seek the truth daily, the more you will be connected to your skills and your powers. Using your sensitivity to share and help others only grows your unique gifts, and you will feel every day more that you are on the right path.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being a Highly Sensitive Person? Can you explain what you mean?
Being highly sensitive is not a negative characteristic, and being a highly sensitive person is not a handicap. Being highly sensitive can benefit society because they can see and feel things others cannot. The secret is to learn to use this ability because once they do, they can become great leaders offering cooperative and compassionate leadership.
As you know, one of the challenges of being a Highly Sensitive Person is the harmful, and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just stop being so sensitive?” What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that it just doesn’t work that way?
I think society as a whole needs to be more empathetic and understand that everyone feels things at different levels and different intensities. It doesn’t make you stronger or weaker. Everyone has a unique way of being, and that’s okay. If we as a society openly discuss our thoughts and feelings and use tools to listen to others, it can be the first step in helping others understand the challenges.
Ok, here is the main questions for our discussion. Can you share with us your “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive As A Highly Sensitive Person? Please give a story or an example for each.
- Recognize it and embrace it as your unique way of being.
- Avoid people with negative energy and set healthy boundaries.
- Don’t compromise how you feel, instead practice self compassion
- Speak the truth, regardless of any judgment.
- Incorporate transcendental meditation into your life. This form of meditation can clear unnecessary thoughts.
Can you share with us your “5 Things You Need To Know To Survive And Thrive If You Love Or Are In A Relationship With A Highly Sensitive Person. Please give a story or an example for each.
- The most important thing is to try to understand that person even it’s difficult or sometimes seems impossible. For the sensitive person, the most important thing is to feel that the partner believes him/her. As a partner of a highly sensitive person, you will often hear strange ideas, you will face weird moods, or you will feel unfamiliar emotions. The good news is that you will never be bored.
- Have deep intellectual conversations. For an HSP, such a thing is more important than food, it’s almost everything. They need to have their mind stimulated.
- Don’t ever forget their dependence on fairy tale love .A perfect date would involve exchanging deep thoughts, watching documentaries, stimulating their mind, and showing them any topic, from space, the universe, robots, etc. to deeply spiritual ideas.
- Your partner will always notice and feel what you feel. Honesty is a must. The HSP will feel a lie from miles and miles away. For them, once the trust is lost, there is no way back. Just pack your bags and leave. Otherwise, your life will be hell.
- While in a relationship with an HSP, it is vital to create a cozy home environment because HSP’s need to feel like they have a personal sanctuary away from the rest of the world. Give your partner more time to adjust to changes and occasionally let your partner have his or her time alone. Being aware of the sensitivity of your partner, eventually, you will get used to his or her uncommon behavior, and at the same time, you will start to feel and understand that you have a unique partner that you can trust, love, and count on. Your partner has a fantastic inner-self. A partner that will teach you how to dream big, guide you toward a more spiritual world, and show you what the real feeling of love is. They will give you all of themselves. All of these things will make you happier, will inspire you, will make you see and understand things that others can not, and will make you stronger!
How can our readers follow you online?
You can follow me on Instagram & Twitter at @angela_martini, Facebook at @officialangelamartini. You can also stay up to date with news of my latest book at angelamartinibook.com.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.
About the Author
Phil La Duke is a popular speaker & writer with more than 500 works in print. He has contributed to Entrepreneur, Monster, Thrive Global and is published on all inhabited continents. His first book is a visceral, no-holds-barred look at worker safety, I Know My Shoes Are Untied! Mind Your Own Business. An Iconoclast’s View of Workers’ Safety. His most recent book is Lone Gunman: Rewriting the Handbook On Workplace Violence Prevention listed as #16 on Pretty Progressive magazine’s list of 49 books that powerful women study in detail. His third book, Blood In My Pockets Is Blood On Your Hands is expected in March followed by Loving An Addict: Collateral Damage Of the Opioid Epidemic due to be released in June. Follow Phil on Twitter @philladuke or read his weekly blog www.philladuke.wordpress.com