Overcoming Anxiety: Brittany L O’Bryant of Playful Hearts Counseling On Five Effective Strategies for Mental Well-Being

An Interview With Nancy Landrum

Look for people in your support network. Perhaps you’ve realized though that you’ve recently pruned your support network due to values mismatches, boundary violations, etc. Identify what must exist in a new friend and then go where they’d be. Do you want a friend that enjoys reading, visit a library. Want a friend that loves sports? Go to a minor league game. The same would be even more true for values based connections versus interest based connection. This is based on a life hack that I recall being mentioned by a professor in my counseling program, Dr. Jane Brack.

Anxiety seems to be the dis-ease of our times. More people than ever are taking medications to help them cope with stress. Nearly everyone I talk to is consumed with anxious feelings that hijack any pleasure they could be getting from their lives. The pressure to “produce” combined with a perception of “not enough time,” combines to create anxiety, self-doubt, frustration and resentment. Resentment, then, is often taken out on your closest, most important relationships. As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Brittany O’Bryant.

Brittany L. O’Bryant is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, Certified Professional Counselor Supervisor, and Registered Play Therapist. She graduated from Georgia State University with a M.S. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and had the opportunity to learn about trauma and play therapy during her program. Brittany’s work experience has been specifically centered on trauma healing, primarily in sexual abuse cases. Brittany has had the opportunity to speak at a Georgia Association for Play Therapy training, the Licensed Professional Counselors Association, and most recently at the Northeast Georgia Trauma Conference. Brittany runs a private practice in Ball Ground, GA called Playful Hearts Counseling, LLC where she enjoys her therapeutic work with clients and supporting new clinicians in their professional development and is the founder of a start-up called Therapists’ Umbrella, LLC where she is aiming assist clinicians in having their supervisory and clinical consulting needs covered.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” better. Can you tell us a bit about you and your backstory?

Thank you for having me! Sure. I actually decided I wanted to go into the field of counseling in the 8th grade. I had the opportunity to be a part of a class called peer helpers. Our role was to help fellow students by cleaning out their lockers, mediate in minor disagreements, and to be a listening ear. I loved it deeply. I asked if there was a way to have those connections as a job and then learned about the field of counseling. I graduated high school, went to the University of North Georgia, and then to Georgia State.

As a successful person in your field, have you or do you experience anxiety? And if so, how do you manage, reduce or eliminate anxiety so you can work efficiently and enjoy your non-work hours?

Absolutely! Anxiety isn’t all bad. It is one of the many tools with which our bodies are provided to promote safety but sometimes it can feel really overwhelming. I have experienced anxiety during life transitions that have included intrusive thoughts and panic attacks. No one is immune. Prevention is key though. I am aware that if I take care of my basic needs with intention, focus on the present moment (hello, mindfulness), and check in with my body, I can reduce the moments of panic. I also encourage the parents of my child clients to do this with their children outside of the play therapy room too. I use these skills with my son as well.

Have you gone through a period of time in your life where you felt as though you were drowning in anxiety? If so, please share your experience and what you perceive as the reasons.

When I got married and moved, my work commute doubled. I was driving over 60 miles one way. I lost my “me-time” to a long commute. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time. I was just overwhelmed. I experienced very vivid and scary dreams, moments of intense panic, and cycling thoughts that were hard to shake. Fortunately, I was in supervision and was able to sort through that. I also experienced intense anxiety in early motherhood.

What or whom did you lean on to help you cope with anxiety?

I think that has evolved in a few ways. I very much need moments of silence. I don’t want a radio or tv on. I like fidget toys. I wear a spinner ring sometimes. I like to explore what has caused the hiccup for me. Sometimes, I will do my own play therapy as a way to gain clarity.

What lessons did you derive from that dark period of time, that serve you now?

Prevention matters. If I can guarantee that my work bag, purse, shoes, etc. are where I need them to be, it saves me time. If I can get my work clothes out the night before, it saves me time. I struggle with challenges around executive functioning and those challenges made more difficult when stressed so I try to set up tomorrow me to like yesterday me.

Do you have days or circumstances that still cause excessive stress?

Goodness, yes. My son is enrolled in a Tinkergarden class. If I don’t prepare the night before and things are hectic as we are getting ready, I feel stressed and then also feel guity because I don’t want to make my son dread mornings! This would be true of all of extracurriculars but this one is the most “school-like.”

What are your dependable “go to” strategies that you use to restore balance to your emotions?

Bubble baths, hands down. Again, it is an environment that can be made quiet so I can allow my brain to quieten down. On days where I “feel my feels” a bit more intensely, I wear a spinner ring.

Please name five tips, practices, beliefs or affirmations that you recommend to anyone going through a highly stressful time.

1. Firstly, it is imperative to examine privilege here. I have access to experiences, information, and safety others don’t. I know I will have a bed to sleep in, food to eat, and clean clothing to wear. I exist in a world where I don’t have to give thought to my race, my gender expression, or how others perceive my marriage. I can exist in a world where I see faces similar to mine. I exist in a world where I can access non ADA compliant buildings. My experience of the world is different than it is for others and I believe it is important to acknowledge that. So, all that I am suggesting does inherently favor some of those areas of privilege.
2. Learn about Dan Siegal’s Flip your Lid. We deserve to know what is happening in our bodies and brains. The internet does have information that can be so helpful and empowering but of course, not everything on social media related to mental health is real!
3. Check in to see if your body needs food, water, movement, fresh air, or even a trip the bathroom.
4. When I have adult clients come to work with me, I work with them to use play therapy skills on themselves. For example, tracking can be used to bring awareness to our situation. “I am doing my work.” “I am pumping gas.” “I am walking my dog.” I joke with clients that the downstairs parts of brains don’t really know the difference between a math test and a saber tooth tiger attack so we need to remind our own brains they’re not in danger.
5. As a society, our emotional vocabulary is pretty limited. “Fine” is the most common response to “How are you?” I use a resource by Lindsay Braman to begin dialogue around emotional identification. But for whoever is reading this interview, start by creating a list of feeling words.
6. Look for people in your support network. Perhaps you’ve realized though that you’ve recently pruned your support network due to values mismatches, boundary violations, etc. Identify what must exist in a new friend and then go where they’d be. Do you want a friend that enjoys reading, visit a library. Want a friend that loves sports? Go to a minor league game. The same would be even more true for values based connections versus interest based connection. This is based on a life hack that I recall being mentioned by a professor in my counseling program, Dr. Jane Brack.

On a scale of one-ten, if 8–10 was your former, chronic level of anxiety, how would you score your usual level of anxiety today?

On average, I’d say a range of 1–3.

Do you have daily practices that support you in maintaining peace, calmness or balance in your life?

My son and I have a visual chart on the wall to help us both know what to anticipate. On days when I am working from home, we do part of the day, in what we now lovingly refer to as 10–10–10. We do chores for 10 minutes, play together for 10 minutes, then he will play independently (or have screen time) for ten minutes while I work. We do this over and over unless there is a task that will exceed the ten minute timer that can’t be broken up into smaller chunks. I have a very unique work schedule in that I am available to see clients from 7:00am to 8:00pm on Monday and Tuesday and then have the privilege of working from home and being with my son the rest of the week. Those small habits create an anchor point in our routines. (On a side note: I don’t think the piece about providing 100% of the childcare while doing your full-time job is talked about enough. Working from home absolutely has pros and cons. I see this creating additional levels of stress with my the parents of my child-clients.)

Was there any particular saying, person, or book that taught you the skills that enable you to escape or avoid the higher levels of anxiety that used to plague you? Elsa , “Let it Go.” Truthfully though, there are a few things that we can control, and many that we can’t. Zooming in on what we can make happen is empowering. Dan Siegel’s Whole Brain Child and Kiva Schuler’s The Peaceful Parenting Revolution have impacted my work as a counselor and my role as a mother; both of which are major pieces of my identity.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom with those who are reading this article. Are there also other ways you are sharing your wisdom? I am hoping to create therapy freebies by way of blogs in the near future.

Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)? Dr. Robert Jason Grant. He is doing wonders for inclusivity around different neurotypes.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

It would be to shift the way children are parented. It will create ripples in schools and in those kids’ adult lives.

How can our readers follow your work online?

My business is on facebook, Playful Hearts Counseling.

Thank you so much for joining us. This was very inspirational.

About the Interviewer: Nancy Landrum, MA, Relationship Coach, has authored eight books, including “How to Stay Married and Love it” and “Stepping Twogether: Building a Strong Stepfamily”. Nancy has been coaching couples and stepfamilies with transformative communication skills for over thirty years. Nancy is an engaging interviewer and powerful speaker. Nancy has contributed to The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Authority, Medium, Yahoo, MSN, Psych Central, Thrive, Woman’s Day magazine, and more. Nancy is the Founder of the only one of its kind online relationship solution, www.MillionaireMarriageClub.com. Nancy coaches couples across the globe in person and via Zoom. Nancy’s passion is to guide couples and families to happy lasting marriages where children thrive and lovers love for life.