Pets and Mental Wellness: Jess Adam Of Handlers & Humans On How to Maximize the Mental Health Benefits of Having a Pet

An Interview With Wanda Malhotra

Prioritize PLAY

One thing our pets love to do is PLAY! Even as adults, play brings joy to humans and animals alike. Building in moments of play with our pets strengthens our connection to them and gives them a healthy outlet. When I was struggling with my reactive dog, the thing that brought us together in the most powerful ways was learning to play together, and prioritizing time for play each and every day.

Pets have always been more than just companions; they play a pivotal role in enhancing our mental well-being. From the unconditional love of a dog to the calming presence of a cat, pets have a unique way of alleviating stress, anxiety, and loneliness. But how do we truly harness the therapeutic potential of our furry, feathered, or scaled friends? How can they aid in promoting mindfulness, reducing depression, or even enhancing social interactions? In this interview series, we are talking to veterinarians, psychologists, therapists, pet trainers, and other experts who can shed light on how to maximize the mental health benefits of having a pet. As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Jess Adam of Handlers & Humans.

Jess Adam is a licensed professional counselor who lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, her twin boys, her 9 year old reactive pit mix Dio, and her cat named Bat. Animals and mental health are two of Jess’s passions, and she has brought them together by creating a niche coaching business supporting dog owners and canine professionals in navigating the human side of dog training. Jess’s lived experience in managing Dio’s reactivity, along with her decade of experience as a therapist and professor of counseling, gives her a unique perspective to bring effective mental health tools and services to the dog world. Jess offers individual coaching support to dog guardians and dog trainers, along with group support programs and online courses, all rooted in lived experience and evidence-based skills through her project Handlers & Humans.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your childhood backstory?

I recently came across an “All About Me” book that I filled out in elementary-school. One of the questions was a fill in the blank that asked, “My best friend is…” The childish scribbled response was not the name of some other little girl or boy, it wasn’t even a close cousin or a parent or imaginary friend. My response was “…a dog.” I would say that answer describes me in a nutshell, both then and now.

I’m lucky enough as an adult to have a dog by my side who has taught me more than I could ever have imagined, and held me together in times where I would otherwise have entirely fallen apart. I grew up riding horses and have experienced first hand the healing power of communing with animals over and over. My passion for working in the mental health field as a licensed professional counselor has always intersected with my love for animals, as I have sought ongoing training beyond my counseling degree in animal-assisted therapy, offered equine therapy, and trained my dog to be a therapy dog (although it turns out he is not meant to be one, more about that in a minute…)

My personal and professional background has always involved animals and mental health in some way, and I am so glad that I get to bring the two together in such a meaningful way.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

When I got my rescue pup (on a complete whim, totally unprepared) I was convinced he would easily be trained as a therapy dog and start working with clients alongside me every day. I was absolutely set on this goal and the rescue told me he was young enough that he could be trained to do anything! We worked tirelessly through behavioral issue after behavioral issue for almost four years to pass the Canine Good Citizen and therapy dog evaluations. While my hard-working, wonderful dog did get there eventually, he made it very clear that therapy work created immense stress for him — so I had to let go of my animal-assisted therapy dog dreams, which was heartbreaking.

But what was interesting about this experience was just how immersed in dog training I became, and how much more I learned about dogs than I ever expected. It made me recognize how deeply my own emotions and mental health were impacted by my dog and his needs, and how I needed to care for myself in order to care for him in the ways he deserved. It led me to create Handlers and Humans, my “little passion project” that has grown to support the mental health of hundreds of dog owners and trainers who live with, work with, and love difficult dogs. This experience taught me that even when you don’t end up where you expected, you often end up exactly where you’re meant to be!

Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

Recently all the books I’ve had time to read were about how to help support babies to sleep and what to feed them, since I have one year old twins! But if I can think back to the part of my life where I had time to read more books, two that stand out would be “Travels with Charley” by John Steinbeck and “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. Both books resonate with me for different reasons. The Steinbeck book illustrates, among many other things, the bridge that animals can build between ourselves and others, while the Frankl book shows the power in finding our purpose. These descriptions leave out so much about each book, but still stand out to me; and I think it is time for me to re-read them both!

Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. Can you share a personal story about how a pet has helped you or someone you know to improve mental wellness?

Even though I was initially crushed that Dio was not a fit for therapy dog work, it became clear that my time spent investing in him, training him, and building our relationship was far from a waste. Dio is what some would call a “reactive” dog, who struggles in certain circumstances to stay regulated and calm (we can all relate!) Our journey together soon went beyond training and began to prioritize play, time in nature, patience, and connection.

As we learned to navigate all of this together, I began to see myself in him more and more, eventually leading me to realize that the things I struggled with the most in my relationship with my dog mirrored similar themes in other areas of my life. In order to help with his anxiety and reactivity, I had to work on my own. My journey with Dio was healing and supporting me in ways I didn’t know I needed all along.

Dio has been with me through the most impactful decade of my life — through loss, divorce, postpartum, you name it. He is a steady presence, and attending to his needs or spending one on one time together is something that centers me when everything feels like it is spinning. He keeps me connected to myself when it is so easy to get lost in the role of motherhood. He makes me laugh, and prompts me to slow down and take a deep breath, every single day.

I was hoping that Dio would come to work with me to help other people, but it ended up that the job he is meant for was to be MY greatest source of support and strength.

While human interaction is essential for emotional well-being, in what ways do interactions with pets offer unique benefits that human relationships might not provide?

Pets are the embodiment of unconditional love, and of what we in the therapy world call “unconditional positive regard”. This term was coined by Carl Rogers, a humanist psychologist who wrote that when therapists view their clients in a positive light regardless of their behavior, it helps create a safe environment for change within the therapeutic relationship. Our pets view us similarly, which allows for us to feel safe and loved just as we are in our relationship with them.

Pets love, forgive, adore, and admire us regardless of our mood, our mistakes, our quirks, or our status. They are eternally excited to see us when we get home, no matter what happened earlier that day. With the complexities and dynamics that exist within our human relationships, it is sometimes a bit more complicated, and a bit more difficult, to experience the same pure, unconditional acceptance that our pets give us.

Can you explain how this works? How do pets, particularly common ones like dogs and cats, biologically and psychologically help to alleviate human stress levels and anxieties?

The healing bond between humans and animals has been described anecdotally as well as in research. Sometimes even referred to as “the pet prescription”, pets are often recommended to improve physical and mental health in a variety of contexts. One study found that in animal-assisted therapies, a “short pet visit increased levels of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, while levels of cortisol, a stress and arousal hormone, dropped.” (1) Yet another showed that “interacting with one’s own pet dog reduced owners’ distress” and anxiety following a stressful task (2) , while another even identified the health benefits of less common pets such as reptiles, amphibians, insects, birds, and even fish (3). Most people do not need a research study to be able to describe the benefits their pets bring to their lives, but pets have shown time and again to bring real, observable, and even measurable benefit to our lives!

In the backdrop of global events like pandemics or natural disasters, how have you seen pets playing a role in alleviating anxiety and providing comfort? Can you share some instances where pets have been integrated into therapeutic practices? How do they complement traditional therapeutic techniques?

Animal-assisted interventions have blended beautifully with mental health work in so many ways for many, many years now. From alleviating stress for students during exam week to accompanying survivors testifying in court to supporting veterans participating in therapeutic programming, animals play an important role in mental health. Working with animals brings a different element to therapeutic practices by offering a calming presence, or even a way to engage and teach clients through metaphor. The presence of an animal can help clients feel more grounded and safe in the present moment, or even provide welcome levity when exploring difficult or heavy topics. The dynamic that animals add to the therapeutic process is almost indescribable.

Not all pets are dogs or cats. From birds to fish to reptiles, how can individuals choose the right pet that aligns with their mental health needs?

Choosing the right pet to align with your mental health needs starts with being sure that the pet’s needs come first, and that their needs align with your particular life circumstances. If you are unable to provide what an animal needs in terms of fulfillment, space, time, caretaking, and so on, it will not only be unfairly detrimental to that animal’s wellbeing, but is also likely to create more stress for you — which would defeat the purpose of getting the pet for mental health support in the first place!

I recommend first considering your lifestyle and the amount of resources you have to provide to an animal in terms of finances, time, energy, and so forth. Also take into consideration how you envision your lifestyle and resources evolving for the next 1, 5, or even 10 years to determine if you will be able to continue to meet that animal’s needs in the long term. Try not to choose a pet just based on image, or one that you think might be fun, or even one that has always interested you. The right pet to support your mental wellbeing is one that fits the best with your overall lifestyle, both now and in the future.

How does the act of taking care of a pet — feeding, grooming, exercising — contribute to an individual’s sense of purpose and mental well-being?

Being responsible for the wellbeing of something outside of ourselves that we care about — whether that be a child, a houseplant, or a pet — can inspire us into movement like nothing else. The daily care of a pet is a task that cannot be overlooked (they usually won’t allow you to overlook them!) and gives us a reason to get up, get moving, and get things accomplished even when we don’t necessarily feel up to it, or even when we might not otherwise do it for ourselves.

If you know your dog needs a walk, it is much easier to get your shoes on and head out for one for the sake of their wellbeing and happiness than it might be to motivate yourself to go for that walk on your own. But the great part is, while that walk might start out for them, it still ends up benefitting the both of you! The same goes for simple tasks like grooming and feeding. These things inherently create routine and structure in our day (two very beneficial elements), along with a sense of accomplishment that might inspire us to continue working on tasks we might otherwise put off. And finally, the simple act of showing love and care to another being that you deeply love and care about just plain feels good, and can bring a sense of warmth and pride to our day.

The past 5 years have been filled with upheaval and political uncertainty. Many people have become anxious from the dramatic jolts of the news cycle. From your experience or research, what are your “Five Ways To Maximize the Mental Health Benefits of Having a Pet?” Can you please share a story or example for each?

These are in no particular order, because they’re all important and impactful!

1 . Meet your needs WITH your pet’s needs

• It can be hard to balance the needs of pets with our own needs. In my coaching practice for pet owners, I often see people struggling because they are pouring all of their time, energy, and resources into their pets and leaving none for themselves. Being burnt out on pet care ultimately defeats the purpose of getting a pet to benefit our mental health. But, the routine we fall into when we take care of animals can actually be used to our advantage. I encourage people to meet their needs alongside their pets’ needs — which improves wellbeing for everyone! For example, every time you fill your pet’s water bowl, pause before going onto the next thing and get a glass of water for yourself. If your pet is snoozing after you’ve had some playtime with them, take some time for a restful activity for yourself. It seems silly, but pairing these wellness behaviors with things you are already doing for your pet will help you build them into your day, so you can reap the benefits too!

2 . Let your pet be your mindfulness teacher

• Our pets live fully and beautifully in the present moment; they are the perfect mindfulness teachers. You don’t need a mindfulness app (although those are great!) or a book about how to practice mindfulness — you can learn it from your pets by watching their example. When you see your cat curled up peacefully in a warm sunbeam, they are fully soaking in that warmth and light, and they are not worrying about the present or lamenting the past. They are noticing and feeling the warmth on their fur, which you can probably tell since they’re likely purring and drifting off to sleep. When was the last time you noticed how warm the sun felt on your skin? As you walk your dog and they pause to sniff and investigate something in the grass, take a moment yourself to notice the world around you with all of your senses. When was the last time you paused to bring your full attention to a wonderful scent in the air, or the way the breeze feels on your face? Mindfulness is all about using our senses to ground us in the present moment, and our pets are excellent examples of doing just that! So the next time you notice your pet enjoying something using their senses, pause what you are doing and join them.

3 . Prioritize PLAY

• One thing our pets love to do is PLAY! Even as adults, play brings joy to humans and animals alike. Building in moments of play with our pets strengthens our connection to them and gives them a healthy outlet. When I was struggling with my reactive dog, the thing that brought us together in the most powerful ways was learning to play together, and prioritizing time for play each and every day. I got a dog for a lot of reasons, and I thought that getting outside for walks would improve my own mental health. It turns out, our walks were incredibly stressful because of his behavioral and emotional needs! Playing together allowed me to regularly and easily connect with the joy of having a dog, and made it possible for me to still enjoy the mental health benefits of having a pet even if we couldn’t do the things I envisioned.

4 . Check in with your mindset

- Even though having a pet is wonderful, the reality is that it can also be stressful at times; especially if you have a pet with any medical or behavioral issues. To maximize the mental health benefits of living with any animal, make sure you are checking in with your own mindset and perspective! Are your expectations of your pet realistic and fair? Are you catastrophizing small issues with your pet? Are you judging yourself as not being a “good enough” pet owner, even though you’re truly going above and beyond for them? When I was struggling the most with my dog, my mindset about our journey was far from positive. Now when I support other pet owners through coaching, mindset is one of the first things we explore! Check in with your thoughts and the stories you tell yourself about life with your pet, and ask yourself these questions… Is my thought or perspective accurate? Is it helpful? Is it fair? Is it kind? You’ll be surprised about how often you get stuck in unhelpful, inaccurate thoughts about your pet which will work against your ability to enjoy them!

5 . Connect with a community

- Pets naturally create a bridge between people who might not otherwise have ever connected. Some of my most cherished friendships have evolved because of a mutual love for our pets, or involvement in animal-related activities. Everyone’s experience with pet ownership is different, but there are some topics and themes that we all go through when caring for our animals. Whether you’re stuck with a training issue, stressed about a medical issue, or just looking for ways to enjoy life with your pet even more… finding a community of like-minded pet owners is incredibly powerful! You do not have to go through the ups and downs of pet ownership alone. Connecting with others might even enhance the mental health benefits of pet ownership! You might discover new, enriching activities to do with your pet that you wouldn’t have tried on your own, or you might find a new trainer or approach that helps you better understand how to live well with your pet. You never know what amazing things you’ll learn from other pet owners like yourself, and you’ll have the added benefit of being supported and understood by a group of other people who love their pets just like you do!

The loss of a pet can be deeply traumatic. How can individuals navigate this grief, and how does it compare to other forms of loss in terms of mental health impact?

The loss of a beloved pet is comparable to any other significant relationship loss, despite the messages out there to tell you “It was only an animal.” When we live with a pet, we spend the vast majority of our time with them. I personally spend more hours of the day with my dog by my side than I do my husband! The silence that pets leave behind when they pass away can be deafening, and the hole they leave in our lives immense. Pet loss might even feel worse in some ways because it is not as normalized or validated as the loss of a human relationship, despite the fact that it can be just as (if not sometimes more) impactful in someone’s day to day life. I would encourage folks to seek out grief resources and support that are specifically meant for pet loss, because you’ll never feel the shame of being told “it was just an animal” in those circles. Surrounding yourself with folks who truly understand the enormity of your loss can be incredibly powerful.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of peace to the greatest amount of people, what would that be?

Other than the obvious movements to solve violence, hunger, homelessness, access to clean water, and so on… I would say that I wish for a movement that would provide quality, evidence-based mental health treatment to everyone — not just those who “need help”, but to absolutely everyone. Even if you don’t think you have a “problem”, having a therapist who provides you a safe space to feel heard and understood, to process the big and small things that go on in your day to day, is life-altering. If we all worked through the deep hurts we carry that cause us to sometimes hurt others, the world would probably look very different.

If we’re talking about inspiring a movement related to pets, though, I’d love for every pet owner to feel supported in their individual journey and relationship with their pets. Sometimes, we end up with a pet that we love, but who might come with issues we didn’t exactly sign up for. Our pets are still individuals with individual preferences, needs, personalities, strengths, and challenges. It can be isolating to feel like the only one who struggles emotionally with their pet’s high needs or difficult behavior. Normalizing this experience would help pet owners to manage their own emotions more effectively, and hopefully lead to more joy and satisfaction in the lives they share with their pets, even if it doesn’t look exactly like they imagined it would.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. :-)

While there are a few celebrities I think it would be fun to have brunch with, right now I’d much rather engage with anyone in leadership at my favorite pet retail hub: Chewy. As a company, Chewy has provided me and my pets with some of the best products and customer service I have ever experienced, which has made my personal pet ownership journey (and that of many of my clients) feel that much easier and more enjoyable! What’s better for a pet owner’s mental health than that? I have some ideas for how leading names in the pet industry can better support the humans behind the animals, because after all — human well being is essential for animal wellbeing. When a company embodies support for their human AND animal customers, they’re supporting the mental health of those customers. So, Chewy leadership, if you ever see this, I would love to talk to your team about the ideas I have for pet industry leaders to directly support the mental health of pet owners!

How can our readers further follow your work online?

@handlersandhumans on Instagram and www.handlersandhumans.com to sign up for my free webinar for dog owners, and my newsletter!

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!

About the Interviewer: Wanda Malhotra is a wellness entrepreneur, lifestyle journalist, and the CEO of Crunchy Mama Box, a mission-driven platform promoting conscious living. CMB empowers individuals with educational resources and vetted products to help them make informed choices. Passionate about social causes like environmental preservation and animal welfare, Wanda writes about clean beauty, wellness, nutrition, social impact and sustainability, simplifying wellness with curated resources. Join Wanda and the Crunchy Mama Box community in embracing a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle at CrunchyMamaBox.com.