Power Women: Brianna Colette On How To Successfully Navigate Work, Love and Life As A Powerful Woman

An Interview With Ming Zhao

Positive Mental Health Habits — Burn out, stress, and anxiety are so common nowadays and they are a major success killer. Between work, family, and daily life there can be a lot of pressure. Having a self-care routine, or as I like to call them, “tools” (meditation, therapy, exercise, unplugging) enables you to recalibrate, get inspired and tackle anything that comes your way. If you are mentally strong you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

How does a successful, strong, and powerful woman navigate work, employee relationships, love, and life in a world that still feels uncomfortable with strong women? In this interview series, called “Power Women” we are talking to accomplished women leaders who share their stories and experiences navigating work, love and life as a powerful woman.

As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Brianna Colette.

Brianna Colette is an intuitive relationship healer and soulmate medium who helps guide her clients to connect with their inner self in order to focus more on a higher sense of self love as a means to grow stronger connections and relationships, ultimately leading them to finding and experiencing the most preeminent of bonds: soulmate love.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?

I had a very controlling, religious upbringing. It was faith based in a lot of fear, emotional manipulation, and public shaming to get followers to obey. I’ve always been a strong-willed person so you can imagine that kind of independence was dealt with harshly. As I matured, I started to realize that this was not any kind of faith I wanted to be a part of. So when I turned 18, I decided to leave the religion even though I knew that the consequences would be severe. Here I was a young girl who was finding her own mind, beliefs, and voice, but had to be ready to sacrifice the only life she had ever known to follow her heart. The fallout was major and I was essentially ‘excommunicated’ or shunned by everyone I had known growing up, including the majority of my family and all my friends, when I chose to leave. As you can imagine that shame and trauma was extremely painful and I carried that with me for years. It took me many years to heal from that and feel confident owning my power and voice.

Can you tell us the story about what led you to this particular career path?

In 2017, I witnessed a violent murder of a family by their adult son and as you can imagine, this tragic event rocked my world. Even though I was able to save the lives of two people that night, I suffered mentally and emotionally as a result. At the same time this relationship that I thought would be a safe place abruptly ended. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and only further triggered my abandonment issues and the feelings of being unsafe. I felt so alone and lost. I had PTSD, depression, panic attacks, and anxiety that made it really difficult to function. I sunk so low I started having suicidal thoughts. I was seeing multiple therapists and specialists but it didn’t feel like enough. My mind was healed but the pain in my heart wasn’t. The murder had a way of bringing to the surface everything that I hadn’t fully healed from, going all the way back to my childhood. Trauma has an interesting way of shaking a lot of dormant pain loose. It was then that I knew I needed more than talk therapy. This near death experience was the catalyst for my spiritual awakening, diving into different healing modalities to release emotional pain that I hadn’t processed yet. I started addressing my own unhealthy relationship patterns and healing the relationship I had with myself.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

I would have to say, it was this time I had a client that was able to overcome a major block that had been holding them back for years. I remember one client in particular where we were healing repressed pain and trauma from her childhood, specifically an alcoholic parent and multiple sexual assaults in her teens. These experiences had caused her to shut down emotionally and caused her to have a hard time letting people in, especially a significant other. Together we were able to go back into those memories and shift the pain she was attached to. She told me she felt as if a weight had been lifted off of her instantly; she had tears of relief and gratitude in her eyes. Its moments like that that stick with you — being able to show someone how to finally let go of pain that happened decades prior and finally feel at peace with it.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Persistence — Even if you’re met with obstacles or things do not go as planned, you keep moving forward.

Self-trust — Not everyone along the way will see your vision or understand what you’re doing or why. Believing in yourself will keep you going when the nay-sayers pop up.

Understanding your “Why” — If you’re doing it solely for the money, that can lead to burning out really quickly. Having a clear understanding of your purpose for wanting to reach a goal is everything.

The premise of this series assumes that our society still feels uncomfortable with strong women. Why do you think this is so?

In my opinion, male dominated society has benefited for quite some time from women forgetting how powerful they really are. When any person doesn’t know their true power, they are easier to manipulate or be taken advantage of. Strong women push against the societal norm we’ve seen for centuries and change the game in a major way. Powerful women are disruptors of the status quo that has unfairly and historically been to our disadvantage.

Without saying any names, can you share a story from your own experience that illustrates this idea?

I was raised in a religious culture where women are second to men. I’ve always been quite opinionated and was often chastised or made to feel “out of my place” for using my voice. For years I unconsciously held onto that belief, by doubting myself and taking a back seat to men not only in business but also in relationships as well. That dynamic left me feeling unheard, frustrated, and missing out on my potential.

What should a powerful woman do in a context where she feels that people are uneasy around her?

Understand that you are not responsible for other people’s perception of you. Many women I work with are unknowingly caught in a toxic cycle of people-pleasing. The ‘disease to please’ so to speak. It takes time to train yourself not to diminish your needs for someone else’s benefit, but it is life changing when you do. It’s not selfish and it doesn’t have to be a “me first” mentality but rather a “me AND you” approach instead.

What do we need to do as a society to change the unease around powerful women?

In my own experience, I have observed that women often have to endure ridiculous or uncomfortable situations to achieve success that men don’t have to endure.

What was a tipping point that helped you achieve a greater balance or greater equilibrium between your work life and personal life? What did you do to reach this equilibrium?

For me it was releasing this constant need to be “busy”; that my worth was somehow attached to my productivity. I literally had to force myself to let go of the idea that I’m only worthy when I am doing or creating something. It was pretty uncomfortable for me at first, so if you’re finding yourself in the same position, just stick with it. The hustle culture we have today can be very toxic to our mental health. Learning how to rest is just as important as landing the deal or finishing a huge project. The more we allow ourselves balance and time to rest, the better equipped we are for the long road to success.

I work in the beauty tech industry, so I am very interested to hear your philosophy or perspective about beauty. In your role as a powerful woman and leader, how much of an emphasis do you place on your appearance? Do you see beauty as something that is superficial, or is it something that has inherent value for a leader in a public context? Can you explain what you mean?

I think genuine confidence is the ultimate beauty. You can literally feel it ooze out of people who have it, and that isn’t something that comes from designer clothes, the perfect makeup, or the right handbag. Although, I do believe the right outfit, a blowout, and a fresh mani can enhance that feeling of being confident and powerful. When you feel your best and believe in yourself, others feel it too.

How is this similar or different for men?

I think its similar for men as well. Personally, I find something so attractive about a man with a fresh haircut and a perfectly tailored suit. Although women do get to have a lot more fun with all the different options we get to play with, so embrace it I say.

Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your opinion and experience, what are the “Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Powerful Woman?” (Please share a story or example for each.)

A solid support system — Whether that’s a partner, family, or friends. Having people around you that cheer you on, see the best in you, and support your dreams.

Conflict resolution — Understanding that conflict is a natural part of life and not something to avoid. A difference of opinion doesn’t have to be the end of the road if you’re open to seeing other perspectives and open to collaboration.

Communication — Knowing how to respectfully advocate for yourself, your ideas, and your boundaries will teach others how to treat and respect you.

Self-awareness — This is the key to growth in general. Knowing what’s yours and what is not, will stop manipulation in its tracks. It helps you receive feedback and being willing to make adjustments or changes in your behavior will allow you to continually advance personally and professionally year after year.

Positive Mental Health Habits — Burn out, stress, and anxiety are so common nowadays and they are a major success killer. Between work, family, and daily life there can be a lot of pressure. Having a self-care routine, or as I like to call them, “tools” (meditation, therapy, exercise, unplugging) enables you to recalibrate, get inspired and tackle anything that comes your way. If you are mentally strong you can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

You can find Brianna on Instagram at @brianna.colette and her website www.briannacolette.com

Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.