Power Women: Karen Arrington of The Miss Black USA Pageant On How To Successfully Navigate Work, Love and Life As A Powerful Woman

An Interview With Ming Zhao

Audacity. Be bold and take risks as a powerful woman. Being audacious will take you far. The worst someone can say is no. But if you never have the audacity to ask, how will you know? I tell all women to walk through life with the audacity of a mediocre white man.

How does a successful, strong, and powerful woman navigate work, employee relationships, love, and life in a world that still feels uncomfortable with strong women? In this interview series, called “Power Women” we are talking to accomplished women leaders who share their stories and experiences navigating work, love and life as a powerful woman.

As a part of this series I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Karen Arrington.

Karen Arrington is an award-winning author, women’s empowerment expert + global philanthropist + winner of a NAACP Image Award for Outstanding Literary Work. Karen’s coaching, mentoring + philanthropic work spans over 100,000 hours of service — including her position as a Goodwill Ambassador to Sierra Leone and The Gambia, her work as the co-founder of the first Diabetes Awareness Day in West Africa, and her role as the founder and CEO of The Miss Black USA Pageant.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you a bit more. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood “backstory”?

I am the daughter of parents who were community activists. My father was the Mayor of the small town where we lived and my mother was an educator. My siblings and I were introduced to grassroots organizing and political campaigns at a young age. I was strongly influenced by my mother who was also a political strategist and political campaign manager. She ran for the Maryland House of Representatives in the 70s, a time when it was rare to see a woman, let alone a Black woman, in the Maryland state legislature. She was my first teacher, mentor, and role model and taught me how to take up space, unapologetically.

While other kids played with their friends on Saturday mornings, my siblings and I were usually door-knocking or passing out campaign literature. When I wasn’t campaigning or doing homework, I was absorbed in books. I found my voice on the pages of works about Black sheroes like Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman. I was especially intrigued by their stories of triumph, success, and self belief against all odds. As I read aloud Sojourner Truth’s anti-slavery speech, “Ain’t I A Woman,” delivered in 1851 at the Women’s Convention in Cleveland, Ohio — it felt like a torch had been passed down to me. And so, the seeds were planted and watered. I embraced my calling — a calling that has led me to many different projects over the course of my life and career.

Can you tell us the story about what led you to this particular career path?

I was a professional job hopper. I landed positions in some of the most prestigious corporations in America, often reporting directly to the CEO or the wo(man)-in-charge. This positioned me to see a company from a different lens — I envisioned more than just being an employee. I often wore many hats. I served as an administrative extension of the CEO, trouble-shooter, marketing maven, peace-maker, event planner, and negotiator. I learned so much about how multi-billion dollar companies ran, leadership, teamwork, and how women were viewed in the workplace. I also learned how to be a disrupter, not to take no for an answer, and negotiate what I want. More importantly, I learned to show up and take up space, unapologetically. Being the only woman and Black person in the boardroom meant I had a responsibility to pave the way for the women who’d come behind me.

My most memorable work experience was working as a consultant for some of the nation’s most influential retail CIOs who formed an association to establish standards throughout the supply chain. I’ll never forget during one of the Board of Director meetings, which consisted of all white men, the newly appointed CIO of a major retailer was introduced and voted in as the newest board member. It was the first time a woman was on the board. In my head I was like, ‘Yes, girl, yes!’

Over the years, I have been fortunate enough to work in both the public and private sector, and create long-lasting relationships with Presidents, Vice Presidents, and Secretaries of State — from Washington D.C. to the West Coast of Africa. This has allowed me to see the world on a whole other level and introduce women to the next level in travel.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

On my first visit to The Gambia, West Africa, I toured a public community hospital. The crumbling facilities, patients lying helplessly, was awful to see. So when I returned home I shared my experience with my personal physician, Dr. Dawne Carroll. We immediately went into action mode brainstorming ways we could help.

Since diabetes is the #1 cause of death in The Gambia, we decided to team up and sponsor the nation’s first-ever Diabetes Awareness Day. The goal was to educate, test, and treat as many of the local population as possible. We partnered with the largest public hospital, which is located in a poverty-stricken area in the capital. Due to the hospital’s inadequate financial resources, logistical support, and shortage of trained staff, we were presented with an insurmountable task. I took on fundraising, and Dr. Carroll tapped into her own network of pharmaceutical reps. She secured donations of testing supplies, drugs, and medical equipment. I successfully raised the funds needed to cover our flights, materials, shipping, and other administrative costs. Over 300 citizens were educated, tested, and treated. Lives were saved on this day — my life was forever changed, and His Excellency, the President invited me to the presidential palace and appointed me as a Goodwill Ambassador to the country.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. Interpersonal skills. My ability to meet people where they are is my superpower. I can get along with customers, clients, peers, partners, and even competitors from varied walks of life, and diverse backgrounds. I have been able to establish impactful and meaningful relationships around the globe which lead to me successfully negotiating a multiple seven figure deal with the head of a foreign state.
2. Integrity. I worked independently in many roles and was responsible for maintaining high levels of confidential and sensitive information.
3. Ambition. I am driven and I do not put myself in a box. I’m a career coach, but also an author and a founder of Miss Black USA. I wear many hats because I go after anything I think I can do that makes me of service to other people, especially women.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. The premise of this series assumes that our society still feels uncomfortable with strong women. Why do you think this is so?

Well, we live in a patriarchal society. Sexism and misogyny exist, and it affects women most. It shows up in the workforce in insidious ways. Women are spoken over, our ideas are taken, we’re not given credit, we’re oftentimes assumed to be less intelligent, we’re reprimanded or stereotyped for showing the same type of emotions men in leadership roles display all the time. So, I don’t know that society “feels uncomfortable with strong women.” Because what’s a “strong” woman? That can be subjective. Society is, sadly, just still sexist. Society is uncomfortable with all the ways women don’t perform womanhood in the ways deemed acceptable: modest, classy, demure, agreeable. And even when women have all of those attributes, they’ll still never please everyone. That’s patriarchy for you. The way our society is set up works against women — no matter our social status or perceived power. Absolutely people are going to feel uncomfortable or intimidated by strong women.

Without saying any names, can you share a story from your own experience that illustrates this idea?

Women are often second-guessed for their knowledge and intelligence. One time in my career I was responsible for negotiating a hotel contract for a client in Philadelphia.

Three days before the end of the conference, a storm wreaked havoc along the east coast and almost all of the attendees checked out early. I received a call from the conference organizer to have an emergency meeting to assess the company’s liability and how to move forward with cancelling the conference.

The first concern was liability. How much would the company owe the hotel? Meeting space, food and beverage, and sleeping accommodations were blocked through the end of the event and the hotel was guaranteed a certain amount of revenue. I explained to the conference organizer that all was well because I had included a “force majeure” clause in the contract. Force majeure is a provision in a hotel or venue contract that relieves both parties from performing their contractual obligations when disaster, acts of God strikes, or certain circumstances arise beyond their control. Apparently this seemed too good to be true to the organization. He totally discarded my explanation and said he needed to fax the contract to their attorney for review. I waited with legs crossed, confident that I would prevail. The attorney called and he placed him on speaker phone. After carefully reviewing the contract, the attorney asked, “Who wrote this? This is one of the best hotel contracts I’ve seen. It’s air-tight.” The company was covered under the “force majeure” clause and were able to cancel the meeting in full, without any penalty or liability. I saved the company $38K in penalties. If I were a man, and if I weren’t Black (because gender and race are always interconnected for me), I believe he would’ve taken my word at face value. But there was this sense of disbelief like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Women deal with this all the time. Black women deal with it even more.

What should a powerful woman do in a context where she feels that people are uneasy around her?

Women spend their whole lives contorting themselves to fit into societal ideas of womanhood. Powerful women should show up as themselves and take up space anyway. Every woman has to make the decision for themselves how they want to play the game so to speak. I’m not comfortable telling women to be anybody they’re not, or how they should do something to make other people at ease. Being kind and empathetic and confident and fair will more times than not earn people’s respect. And sometimes that’s the best you can ask for.

What do we need to do as a society to change the unease around powerful women?

It’s not something we’ll see in our lifetime, but progress has been made with every generation. As long as we live in a patriarchal society, people will be uneasy about powerful women. Representation isn’t an end all be all, but the more powerful women that are represented in media, TV, film, and pop culture, the more it becomes normalized. The rate of women entrepreneurs has skyrocketed in the last decade. Gen Z doesn’t really know a time period where women weren’t CEOs, founders, and working women. A lot of the young women in their 20s are running their own lash businesses, clothing boutiques, candle companies, media sites, tech companies, they’re influencers, and so much more. They are getting to the bag! The more that kind of thing is normalized, the more the idea of “powerful women” will not even be necessary. It’ll just be women being the badasses and bosses they are.

In my own experience, I have observed that often women have to endure ridiculous or uncomfortable situations to achieve success that men don’t have to endure. Do you have a story like this from your own experience? Can you share it with us?

Women are often second-guessed for their knowledge and intelligence. One time in my career I was responsible for negotiating a hotel contract for a client in Philadelphia.

Three days before the end of the conference, a storm wreaked havoc along the east coast and almost all of the attendees checked out early. I received a call from the conference organizer to have an emergency meeting to assess the company’s liability and how to move forward with cancelling the conference.

The first concern was liability. How much would the company owe the hotel? Meeting space, food and beverage, and sleeping accommodations were blocked through the end of the event and the hotel was guaranteed a certain amount of revenue. I explained to the conference organizer that all was well because I had included a “force majeure” clause in the contract. Force majeure is a provision in a hotel or venue contract that relieves both parties from performing their contractual obligations when disaster, acts of God strikes, or certain circumstances arise beyond their control. Apparently this seemed too good to be true to the organization. He totally discarded my explanation and said he needed to fax the contract to their attorney for review. I waited with legs crossed, confident that I would prevail. The attorney called and he placed him on speaker phone. After carefully reviewing the contract, the attorney asked, “Who wrote this? This is one of the best hotel contracts I’ve seen. It’s air-tight.” The company was covered under the “force majeure” clause and were able to cancel the meeting in full, without any penalty or liability. I saved the company $38K in penalties. If I were a man, and if I weren’t Black (because gender and race are always interconnected for me), I believe he would’ve taken my word at face value. But there was this sense of disbelief like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Women deal with this all the time. Black women deal with it even more.

In your opinion, what are the biggest challenges faced by women leaders that aren’t typically faced by their male counterparts?

Perception. Stereotypes of women have real world harmful effects and outcomes. Those stereotypes are amplified for Black women and other women of color. Once a perception of a woman is decided on, it’s very hard to shake. Women leaders are oftentimes labeled as bossy, bitchy, catty, emotional. Once women leaders are labeled that reputation follows them throughout their profession. Men can have outbursts in meetings, not be friendly, be curt, and no one bats an eye. It’s just a regular Monday. But heaven forbid a woman not be perky and bubbly every day of their entire life. It’s unfair and it’s harmful. But these are the real challenges women face. I’d say the other biggest challenge is equity. The pay gap still exists. Women leaders are still making less than their male counterparts. Women with families often aren’t promoted whereas men with families are seen as beneficial to the company. The challenge of equity is one we can change though. Paying women their worth doesn’t make the stereotypes any less damaging, but it has a real material effect that can change women’s economic status for generations.

Let’s now shift our discussion to a slightly different direction. This is a question that nearly everyone with a job has to contend with. Was it difficult to fit your personal and family life into your business and career? For the benefit of our readers, can you articulate precisely what the struggle was?

The struggle is real, especially for women when family life often colides with work life. This was true for me early in my career. My position required that I work late hours and travel frequently. It was a challenge finding adeuate child-care and being present for my three year old son when he needed me most.

What was a tipping point that helped you achieve a greater balance or greater equilibrium between your work life and personal life? What did you do to reach this equilibrium?

I agreed to work the position for a year on the condition that I was able to work from home, several days a week, before WFM was a thing. My mother cared for my son and sometimes joined me when I traveled on business.

I work in the beauty tech industry, so I am very interested to hear your philosophy or perspective about beauty. In your role as a powerful woman and leader, how much of an emphasis do you place on your appearance? Do you see beauty as something that is superficial, or is it something that has inherent value for a leader in a public context? Can you explain what you mean?

It’s time to redefine the concept of beauty, which is rooted in racism and normalizing “whiteness.” Actress Ruby Dee once said, “The kind of beauty I want most is the hard-to-get kind that comes from within — strength, courage, dignity.” This is my philosophy on beauty.

I started Miss Black USA to instill a strong sense of confidence and self-esteem in Black women who are constantly being beauty shamed. Black women are too often invisible in mainstream media. Dark-skinned women are nearly non-existent. Miss Black USA was created as a platform for young Black women to love the skin she’s in. The Miss Black USA process allows young Black women to see themselves in their fellow contestants. Black women aren’t a monolith, but the one thing they can all relate to is the unique experience of navigating the world as a Black woman.

One might assume the European standard of beauty is a thing of the past, but not much has changed. Black news anchors are still suspended for wearing their natural hair on air. We’re told braids aren’t professional, meanwhile the minute a designer puts a white woman on the runway in cornrows — now all of a sudden it’s high fashion. It’s 2021, and we’re still trying to pass the Crown Act so that Black women can wear their natural hair the way it grows out of their head.

So no, I don’t think beauty is superficial. When women look good they feel good about themselves. When they feel good they’re better in every facet of their lives. And so often, Black girls’ beauty is all but ignored. There is nothing wrong with reinforcing Black girls and women’s beauty. Desirability affects how people are treated in this world. Appearance matters. Again, there’s a double layer added to this when race and skin tone are entered in the mix. Women leaders should not feel guilty for wanting to look and present a certain way. A woman’s appearance has a lot to do with how she advances professionally. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.

How is this similar or different for men?

Women’s social currency is beauty, men’s is money. That’s how patriarchy has set it up. No one cares how a man looks if he has money and can provide. There’s no emphasis on men being well put together. It’s why Mark Zuckerberg’s career uniform is a t-shirt and jeans and Sheryl Sandberg probably would’ve never been taken seriously in the same attire. Men do not have the pressure of societal beauty standards as women.

Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. Based on your opinion and experience, what are the “Five Things You Need To Thrive and Succeed as a Powerful Woman?” (Please share an example for each.)

1. Confidence. You have to believe that your experiences and skill set make you an expert at what you’re doing. Speak authoritatively and with confidence. People will undermine you for no good reason other than you’re a woman. Your confidence will save you.
2. Relationships. Build relationships with people you trust and take them with you as you move up. The relationships you build will mean having a circle of women who can relate when you want to vent about being spoken over in a meeting. These relationships will be your support system. When you’re contemplating accepting an offer with a global tech company your relationships will offer sound advice. If you find yourself in between jobs/opportunities, hopefully your relationships can lead to your next gig. Build genuine relationships and give just as much as you take.
3. Personality. People want to work with people they like. People will do almost anything for people they like and respect. A good personality will open doors that titles, education, and talent won’t. Don’t be afraid to show your personality.
4. Authenticity. People can smell bullshit. Be organic. Your authentic self is your most relatable and inspiring self. Your authenticity will create a path or opportunities that are specifically designed for you. No one else is YOU, and that’s your power.
5. Audacity. Be bold and take risks as a powerful woman. Being audacious will take you far. The worst someone can say is no. But if you never have the audacity to ask, how will you know? I tell all women to walk through life with the audacity of a mediocre white man.

We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them.

Ava Duvernay, American film-maker, tv director, and badass. She is a storyteller, truth-teller, disruptor, and change-agent. She effortlessly combines art and activism. She promotes women and people of color in the film industry so our stories can be told. Her parents are from Hayneville, Alabama, just a few miles away from Montgomery, the birthplace of the civil rights movement and where my parents are from. As an author and mentor to over 1,000 women, I appreciate her ground-breaking work and the impact that she has made on women, people of color and the conscience of America. She is my mentor/sister (in my head and heart).