Rachael Todd of Return To Flow On How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’

Have compassion for yourself when you make mistakes. No one is perfect and we’re all going to mess up sometimes. Watch your self-talk the next time you make a mistake and try to speak to yourself kindly when you have an imperfect moment.

Many successful people are perfectionists. At the same time, they have the ability to say “Done is Better Than Perfect” and just complete and wrap up a project. What is the best way to overcome the stalling and procrastination that perfectionism causes? How does one overcome the fear of potential critique or the fear of not being successful? In this interview series, called How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’, we are interviewing successful leaders who can share stories and lessons from their experience about “how to overcome the hesitation caused by perfectionism.

As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Rachael Todd.

Rachael is a mindset coach and founder of Return To Flow. After recovering from her own burnout journey, she now helps other high achievers break free from the daily grind and come back to wholeness. She currently lives in Ecuador where she is fully embracing a life of flow and helping others to do the same.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?

I moved around a lot as a child. I went to five different elementary schools. It wasn’t always easy to be the new kid, but it was one of the most formative things that happened to me. It taught me to adapt to new situations, new cultures, new people. It really matured me and helped me to grow. I think that’s where my sense of curiosity and adventure stems from. I’m always in search of more knowledge and different experiences. It’s what fuels me.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

I am better off healed than I ever was unbroken — Beth Moore

I love inspirational quotes! It’s hard to choose just one but this quote helped me through some really challenging moments in my life.

Part of my burnout journey is that I suffered from a chronic illness for three years as a result of overworking and pushing too hard. It was a difficult time for me. My body was falling apart and I didn’t know why. And my life and all the things I loved to do were completely put on hold.

At the time, I was angry at my body for getting sick. I was also angry at the situation for preventing me from living the life I wanted to live. But it ended up being the biggest blessing in disguise. It encouraged me to make so many necessary and impactful changes to my life like switching my career, moving to a different country, and finally choosing to put myself first.

If I had never been “broken,” I would have never learned those lessons, gained that strength, and made those amazing changes. The healing journey was one of the best things that ever happened to me and I wish for everyone to experience that level of courage and empowerment.

Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?

The book Essentialism — The Disciplined Pursuit of Less was a huge part of my healing journey and I still implement many of the lessons I learned from it today.

One of the most impactful lessons is that everything we choose to do — the people we hang out with, the work projects we take on, the hobbies we dedicate time to — should be a 9/10 or higher in terms of giving us happiness, energy, and joy.

We’re all such talented and capable people. But just because we can do certain things, doesn’t mean we should. We’re so privileged to live in a time where we can choose what we want to do with our days. And the beautiful thing is, the more we focus on what brings us joy and energizes us, the more we have to give. We show up better for the important people in our lives and are actually more productive with our work.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

• Honoring my body. I’ve come to realize how wise our bodies are. They know exactly what to do to allow us to work at our best. From what kind of food we need to eat to how much sleep we need to get. The more I work with my body and live in tune with what it needs, the better I show up for my work and the more successful I become.
• Being authentic. So often we’re convinced that we have to fit a certain mold in order to be successful. But it’s exhausting to be something we’re not. It’s also not necessary to get ahead in the world. The more I stay true to who I am, the more I attract the right opportunities for me and the more successful I become.
• Surrendering. We can be our own worst enemy sometimes. We get so fixated on getting a certain outcome that we miss out on an entire world of possibilities. The more I surrender and open up to what is meant to come my way, the more successful I am. It often doesn’t look the way I expect it to, but it’s always better than I could have ever imagined.

Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly is a perfectionist? Can you explain?

Someone who has really high (sometimes impossibly high) standards for themselves and their work. They tend to pressure themselves to never make a mistake or show a flaw. Because of this, they often stress about not feeling good enough and how to make things better.

The premise of this interview series is making the assumption that being a perfectionist is not a positive thing. But presumably, seeking perfection can’t be entirely bad. What are the positive aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

I completely agree! One of the modalities that I’ve studied is Internal Family Systems. A key tenet of this modality is that all parts of us are welcome and accepted. I extend that to mean that all parts of us serve a purpose and are helping us in some way.

With perfectionism, it’s a part of us that doesn’t want to get anything wrong and always wants everything to be flawless. In doing this, it’s protecting us from being criticized. It’s keeping us safe from people judging us or thinking that we’re not good enough.

Perfectionism also keeps us on our toes. It encourages us to strive for high quality and challenges us to make things even better.

What are the negative aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?

While it’s true that perfectionism allows us to feel accepted by others and reach high standards, there is a point where this starts to detriment us more than it elevates us.

Obsessing over everything being perfect often causes us to push ourselves too much which leads to stress and burnout. Additionally, when we’re bending and conforming ourselves to reach what others have deemed as “perfect,” we’re usually not being true to ourselves.

From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common reasons that cause a perfectionist to “get stuck” and not move forward? Can you explain?

In my experience it’s the fear of not being enough. We all want to be loved and accepted and an easy way to do that, especially in regards to our work, is to do everything perfectly.

If we make a mistake or mess up, we’re afraid about what that will mean about us. That maybe we’re not good enough, not liked, or not going to succeed.

Here is the central question of our discussion. What are the five things a perfectionist needs to know to get past their perfectionism and “just do it?” Please share a story or example for each.

• Have compassion for yourself when you make mistakes. No one is perfect and we’re all going to mess up sometimes. Watch your self-talk the next time you make a mistake and try to speak to yourself kindly when you have an imperfect moment.
• Practice vulnerability. It can be difficult to show the world that we are flawed. The perfectionist in us may believe that if we don’t show up perfectly, we’re not going to be accepted. More often than not, the opposite is true. When we are vulnerable and show our true selves to the world (flaws and all) people end up connecting with us even more.
• Develop self-love. Often the underlying cause of perfectionism is wanting approval from others. If we can give that love to ourselves, we become less reliant on others to provide that for us, and thus have less of a need to be perfect all the time.
• Reframe failure. There are ups and downs in every aspect of life. It’s inevitable that we will have moments where we succeed and moments where we “fail.” Learn to reframe these failures as learning and growth opportunities and as a catalyst to the next phase of your process.
• Remember perfect is arbitrary. Whether it’s beauty standards or work protocol, what is deemed as “perfect” is just a relative standard that was created by other imperfect humans. It’s not an absolute truth. So don’t hold yourself too tightly to that measurement.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

I’m a big believer in being the change you want to see in the world. So often when we recognize a problem our first instinct is to fix it in the outside world. But it always starts with ourselves.

So if I could inspire a movement it would be centered around healing and inner work. The deeper we dive into the mindsets that prevent us from showing up fully, the better we are able to serve the world. And from there it’s just a ripple effect. One person “being the change” empowers others to do the same.

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

Elizabeth Gilbert or Cheryl Strayed. I love their willingness to risk it all and follow their heart. We need more of that in the world, especially among women.

If either of you get tagged, read this, and feel inspired I would love to connect :)

How can our readers follow you online?

You can use the standard approaches — follow me on Instagram, check out my website, or sign up for my weekly newsletter. But I absolutely love connecting with people one on one. So feel free to send me a personal email at rachael@thereturntoflow.com (Seriously! I read and respond to every one).

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!