Rachel Fiori of Masters of Self University: How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself
Do the work. . .the REAL work. . . to heal yourselves. Stop searching for the quick fix that will flip a switch to miraculously elevate you to reach your goals.
As a part of our series about “How To Learn To Finally Love Yourself” I had the pleasure to interview Rachel Fiori
Rachel Fiori MSOT, CEO of Masters of Self University, is a Mystical Therapist & Elite Coach for High Profile People & Couples. She is the lead Mystical Professor teaching the Mystical Life Coach Certification program.
With a Masters of Science in Occupational Therapy, (specializing in mental, emotional, & behavioral health), a BA in Business/Corporate Communications, a Psychic-Intuitive-Empath, and as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), Rachel has spent the past 23 years empowering individuals, coaches, and high profile people across the world to heal their lives and relationships at the soul level.
Rachel masterfully utilizes the principles of Spiritual Psychology, as well as her gift of Divine Sight with her clients. She has the ability to perceive the unperceivable, and can see the deep truth of any situation which makes her the best in her field at doing “shadow work”. Her genius is the ability to “See” the root causes of all of your struggles. What she has the ability to see and show within a person or their relationship can change the consciousness of that person and elevate them to the status of fully healed, whole, and free.
Rachel’s wisdom of transformational healing, her methods, and her reputation is unprecedented. She is a Radical Spiritual Teacher here to lead us into the New Golden Age of Harmony, and someone the world desperately needs right now.
Thank you so much for joining us! I’d love to begin by asking you to give us the backstory as to what brought you to this specific career path.
My first shift into spiritual awakening was at thirteen years old when I was standing in my living room with my mentally ill, abusive stepfather as he was about to unload on me for earning an A- on my report card. Since the ‘minus’ was so close to getting a B, “it didn’t even count as an A”. As the verbal abuse began to spew from his mouth, I had an out-of-body experience. I was suddenly slightly above and behind both of us watching this scene play out in front of me. And I had this incredible epiphany. “Oh my god. This has nothing to do with me. His abuse isn’t about me at all. It’s about him.” And it’s almost like I heard this very stern voice firmly tell me to “stop taking his abuse so personally!”. My higher soul “yelled” at me for being so ridiculous in my attempts to seek approval from this broken man who was doing nothing but projecting his own brokenness and unhealed inner child wounds onto me. I never gave a shit about his opinion of me from that day forward. I never sought his approval ever again. I was completely detached from his negative opinion of me, and from the rare times that he praised me because I knew it wasn’t authentic. I experienced a degree of emotional freedom from that experience.
That’s not to say that I didn’t have a shit ton of inner child wounds to heal as I grew into adulthood. And I tried everything under the sun to heal myself at the deepest level, and never got the results that I was working so hard for. I had many painful inner child wounds that I couldn’t seem to heal at the core level no matter what I did. This was confusing to me considering the shift I had had at thirteen. It took me many years to unlock the energetics of “programs” and how they run in our psyches. The process of how they’re created and how to transform them at the root level . . . permanently. How to even see the programs that are there in the first place. Most programs love to hide in our blind spots making it nearly impossible to uncover them and heal them. But I discovered how to shine the light on all of them so they can be transcended into a higher vibrational frequency. I gained the keys that end suffering, and I now share those keys with anyone who is willing and devoted to learning what they are.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you hope that they might help people along their path to self-understanding or a better sense of wellbeing in their relationships?
Yes! Masters of Self University is launching an extremely powerful and deeply transformative relationship master class this summer! It’s called The No-bullshit Relationship Master Class (https://mastersofselfuniversity.com/relationship_series/). Way too many coaches and influencers out there have been teaching people things like, how to get their needs met in their relationships, how to improve communication with loving communication, and other nonsense that never heals the roots of conflicts and challenges.
Learning these things is actually detrimental to romantic relationships because they teach and anchor in neediness, codependency, and powerlessness. And none of these methods focus on healing at the core level of the problems. Commonly taught strategies to improve relationships create unrealistic expectations on your partner to make you happy, to feel loved, and to look to them for healing and guidance. And yet, you learn all of these things and months or years later, still, fight. You still have the same damn conflicts and can’t seem to get on the same page. And at some point, many begin to then doubt that they should be together at all. That maybe they were wrong about their partner and they really aren’t “the one” like they thought they were.
My No-BS Relationship Master Class puts an END to all fighting, all conflicts, all misunderstandings for good. Individuals learn how to step into their Divine Power and heal the actual root causes of all conflicts and challenges in the relationship that their partner is triggering within them.. They grow as individuals, and then bond at the heart and soul levels as a couple. This 2-month master class is extremely powerful and permanently transformative.
Oh! And I must mention that it is for single people too!! Too many have learned to wait until things start to go south in the relationship before doing anything about their relationship! The truth is, if you learn this stuff while you’re still single, you’ll be leaps and bounds ahead of the “heal your relationship” process. You’ll enter into your next relationship as a healed, powerful being instead of a needy, codependent or emotionally unavailable one. And what’s even better is that you’ll transform into the person that is ready to receive a wonderful life partner who will continue to grow with you.
You can learn more and get on our waiting list for this class by going here: https://mastersofselfuniversity.com/relationship_series/
Do you have a personal story that you can share with our readers about your struggles or successes along your journey of self-understanding and self-love? Was there ever a tipping point that triggered a change regarding your feelings of self-acceptance?
The moment I had the epiphany of the ways that I tried to never feel emotional pain was the moment that I was set emotionally free. People are so brainwashed to avoid, suppress or deny their emotional pain. This keeps people weak and at a low emotional IQ. True power is realizing that to heal your pain means to love your pain. To dive into the root of how and when your pain was created, and to transform it at an energetic level is the power of mystical coaching. This is what I train and certify all of my Mystical Life Coaches in at Masters of Self University. And it’s what all clients learn how to achieve for themselves in our coaching programs. It’s truly transformational healing at the deepest level possible.
When one can learn how to grow powerful enough to embrace their emotional or mental pain with nothing but love, they’ve stepped into a divine level of self-acceptance. At this level, it’s impossible for the pain to remain. It has no choice but to transcend in the presence of one’s self-love and acceptance. The byproduct of this is pure emotional freedom.
According to a recent study cited in Cosmopolitan, in the US, only about 28 percent of men and 26 percent of women are “very satisfied with their appearance.” Could you talk about what some of the causes might be, as well as the consequences?
We are a superficial society that places importance on appearance over how good, kind, or integrous a person is. When you care more about how you look compared to the quality of human you are, of course, there’s going to be suffering and dissatisfaction. Trying to be physically perfect is impossible. Learning how to be kind is easy. Trying to look 25 for the rest of your life is impossible. Becoming a more powerful and magnificent version of you for the rest of your life is not just achievable, but it’s what sets you free from superficiality and trying to control things that you cannot change. Who cares if you are one of the sexiest people on the planet if you’re a shitty person. We need to change our definition of sexy. Being a healthy person spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically is what’s sexy. Selflessly caring about how you impact others is sexy. Taking care of your body in a very healthy way so your body can support you in your job, relationship, or in life is what’s sexy. Going to extremes and using unhealthy strategies to make your meat suit look like perfection is actually a very unattractive characteristic because it’s a reflection of a person who can’t go any deeper than a surface-level existence. These are also the people that, as they age, will experience more and more suffering because of their egoic addition to looks. Loving your SELF means loving the imperfections of your physical body. It also means not abusing your body. Abusing your body is going to unhealthy extremes to make your body look unrealistically perfect. Abusing your body is also the opposite: refusing to care for your body or exercise enough to keep your body healthy. Both of these are forms of self-hatred and self-hatred always leads to emotional, mental, and eventually physical suffering.
To some, the concept of learning to truly understand and “love yourself,” may seem like a cheesy or trite concept. But it is not. Can you share with our readers a few reasons why learning to love yourself it’s truly so important?
I think the more important teaching here is to begin to understand what loving ourselves really means. And in all of my years of coaching, teaching, and transforming people’s lives, most don’t grasp what self-love means until they learn the ways that they withhold love from themselves.
Any time a person avoids their emotional or mental pain, that’s self-abandonment, not love. Any time a person chases happiness, it means they’re shaming their feelings of unhappiness. They’re making themselves wrong for not feeling joy all the time. This is immature and ridiculous. There’s a reason you’re feeling unhappy. So learn how to go deeper and learn what the unhappiness has to teach you instead of avoiding, using coping strategies, and doing everything in your power to never feel the pain that you carry inside. Embracing your pain is self-love and it’s also a reflection of someone who is connected to their inner power; their inner Light. Offering compassion, gentleness, and nurturing to your pain is what unconditional love actually is. And someone who is powerful enough to do that is someone who has the power to heal their pain.
Why do you think people stay in mediocre relationships? What advice would you give to our readers regarding this?
There are many reasons why people stay in mediocre relationships. One program people run is that they won’t find anyone better. And this program is actually related to a deeply rooted fear program of being afraid to be alone. This is the fear of loneliness rearing its ugly head. Seeing what programs are running and healing these deeply rooted programs is what our masterclasses and coaching programs expertly offer at Masters of Self University. My best advice is to work with one of our Certified Mystical Life Coaches so you can experience true transformational healing of all of your programs that prevent you from having a fulfilling and magnificent relationship.
When I talk about self-love and understanding I don’t necessarily mean blindly loving and accepting ourselves the way we are. Many times self-understanding requires us to reflect and ask ourselves the tough questions, to realize perhaps where we need to make changes in ourselves to be better not only for ourselves but our relationships. What are some of those tough questions that will cut through the safe space of comfort we like to maintain, that our readers might want to ask themselves? Can you share an example of a time that you had to reflect and realize how you needed to make changes?
What I teach people is how to see with Divine Sight how they are actually showing up in life and their relationships versus how they like to think they are. Only when one is willing to see every ugly aspect of their shadow self are they truly ready to experience real and permanent healing. When working with myself or with one of my Certified Mystical Life Coaches, people learn to ask themselves every single time they are triggered or in conflict: “What program am I running?” When you’re willing to See, you’re ready to heal. Those who don’t want to change are choosing to suffer because there is no way to heal what you refuse to acknowledge within yourself.
So many don’t really know how to be alone, or are afraid of it. How important is it for us to have, and practice, that capacity to truly be with ourselves and be alone (literally or metaphorically)?
People don’t know how to be alone because they are disconnected from their Higher Soul. When you are connected to your higher self, it’s impossible to feel alone because you always have You. One type of mystical healing that I often do on people that come to me for a psychic-healing session is to energetically connect them to their Higher Soul; their divine aspect of Self. Then I clear away all of the programs of disconnection that create the loneliness that most people feel.
In addition, it’s important to understand that the feeling of loneliness is a byproduct of continuously abandoning yourself. It’s the result of refusing to love, honor, and nurture your own pain when you’re in pain. This is why most people’s wounded inner child never gets healed. Instead of loving the unhealed child, (that shows up in the form of triggers and emotional pain), most ignore, suppress, or run away from their emotional discomfort. They seek a quick fix that will make them feel better as fast as possible. This is abandoning your wounded inner child over and over again. Self-abandonment is not love. Far from it. Then we ignorantly believe that being in a relationship will solve our feelings of loneliness. It may mask and suppress them for a while. But isn’t it amazing how lonely you begin to feel in a relationship when your partner fails to understand you? Or when they don’t “see” you or validate you? Then people believe they feel lonely and are in pain because of their partner. They fail to recognize their loneliness has nothing to do with their partner at all, but because of the unhealed pain, they carry inside of themselves. Until one heals that, loneliness will rear its ugly head even in the best of relationships.
When you are fully healed and whole, there is no such thing as being alone, whether you’re in a relationship or not. And in fact, being by yourself is one of the most precious gifts one can give to themselves. In a healthy and bonded relationship, carving out alone time away from your partner is a sacred gift you can each give to yourselves. As much as I love my partner, my alone time is SACRED to me! I must have it. It’s how I connect more deeply with my inner being and it’s how I recharge my battery. Being alone doesn’t mean you ever have to feel lonely. In a healed person, spending time alone is absolutely essential. That quiet time is when most people’s higher soul communicates with them because there’s stillness and fewer distractions. This makes it easier for your intuition to be “heard”.
How does achieving a certain level of self-understanding and self-love then affect your ability to connect with and deepen your relationships with others?
How healthy and loving is your connection to yourself? Your loving or unloving connection to self is 100% projected onto your partner and your relationship 100% of the time.
If you’re loving and compassionate with yourself, you’ll have the ability to be that for your partner. If you’re nurturing to your own pain, you’ll have the ability to be nurturing to your partner’s. If you’re understanding and supportive of yourself, you’ll be able to give this to your partner.
You can only give to another what you have become for yourself. So, until you choose to do the real work and fully heal yourself, how you’re connecting with others is through your woundedness and your dysfunctional programs.
In your experience, what should a) individuals and b) society, do to help people better understand themselves and accept themselves?
Individuals should stop running from their unhealthy programming and from their pain. Throw the “positive vibes only” in the damn trash where it belongs. People feel a full spectrum of emotions and none of them are bad. All of them are communication from one’s own body and soul about what to pay attention to, what needs to be seen and loved, and what needs to be healed with nurturing attention. To better understand yourself, start learning from your pain. Embrace your pain and open up to what it has to teach you. The secrets to why people are stuck and struggling are hidden in the core of their pain that they refuse to feel. So stop, listen to, and learn what it means to love your pain so you can better understand why it’s there, and how to finally heal it.
Society needs to stop offering surface-level “healing” programs while calling them transformational. Society needs to stop offering hacks and stop promoting quick fixes. Corporations and organizations are a part of society. And they need to embrace healing and conscious elevation as a part of their business plans and corporate culture.
To better understand and accept oneself, whether at an individual level or a societal level, begins with the radical honesty of oneself. You must be willing to see your darkness. You can never and will never truly understand yourself when you’re unwilling to see your shadow aspects. The real reason why people don’t accept themselves is that they’re ashamed of their shadow self, and/or afraid to see how dark and ugly they really are. So they hide from those aspects of themselves. How can anyone really
“accept” themselves when they work so hard at hiding or denying parts of themselves? Only when one is willing to see all aspects of themselves, can those aspects be healed. When you know they can be healed, it’s easy to accept those parts of you. When people don’t feel like they can truly heal those ugly shadow aspects, they’ll never fully accept all of those aspects. So they stay trapped in a vicious cycle of wearing masks, unacceptance of self, and never understanding the pain and programs that are being suppressed.
The willingness to see all parts of you. . .the good, the bad, and the ugly, shifts one into the power to fully heal the aspects that are so hard to accept. This is the first step of true transformational healing.
Here is the main question of our discussion. What are 5 strategies that you implement to maintain your connection with and love for yourself, that our readers might learn from? Could you please give a story or example for each?
I have to be clear on this. There are no simple strategies that people can read about, try to replicate, and then poof. . . they are suddenly deeply connected to self-love. NONE. Surface-level fixes, suggestions, or tips heal nothing. Here’s what people need to learn instead:
- Do the work. . .the REAL work. . . to heal yourselves. Stop searching for the quick fix that will flip a switch to miraculously elevate you to reach your goals.
- Get expert-level, professional help. Stop trying to figure everything out on your own. It’s a waste of time and it typically causes more frustration and suffering. Allow yourself to be taught and guided by an expert. And learn to discern the difference between self-titled wanna-bees that are addicted to the attention they get from having followers, and authentic experts.
- Learning real love for yourself means learning every single way that you withhold love from yourself. It’s a learning process that takes some time. So invest in yourself and PUT IN THE TIME.
- Grow up. Developing true self-love is a process of learning, expanding, and developing. Expecting to flip a switch and have everything change overnight is a reflection of impatience. Impatience is a reflection of emotional and spiritual immaturity. So grow up enough to embrace that so you can put in the work that will deliver real and permanent transformational results.
- Open up to the truth about your shadow self. No one authentically heals without doing shadow work. There is no such thing as meditating away your dark side. No amount of yoga poses eliminates the shadow programs that you carry within your subconscious mind. So if you’re really serious about healing and discovering the power of self-love, dive into shadow work. And don’t stop doing the work until your shadow has been transformed into Light.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources for self-psychology, intimacy, or relationships? What do you love about each one and how does it resonate with you?
My favorite book of all time is the one that I channeled and is in the midst of being published. It’s about the Universal Ways of Oneness™ and it is a book that will not only change lives but change the trajectory of humanity. I’ll let you know the release date of that as soon as I receive it.
As far as podcasts go, the Masters of Self University Podcast will be launched in May 2022! My certified Mystical Life Coaches & I will be offering the elevated teachings that I think the world is finally ready for. So when May rolls around, find us and have a listen!
Finally, anyone can go to www.MastersofSelfUniversity.com right now and become a member. LIVE bi-monthly classes are taught on ‘How to Master Life & Love‘. They are taught by myself and my certified Mystical Life coaches. As a member, you have unlimited access to attend all of the classes, plus gain immediate access to the video resource library that holds the replays of all previously taught classes. For a low monthly cost, you gain direct, in-person access to the Mystical Life Coaches where we have LIVE Q&A in every class.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? Maybe we’ll inspire our readers to start it…
I have launched a movement through Masters of Self University. It’s to heal people at the deepest level possible and raise the trajectory of human consciousness globally. I’ve done this by creating the Mystical Life Coach Certification™ program. This is where I heal, educate, train, certify, and then mentor coaches in the work that I provide and offer to other people. This certification is the only one of its kind in the world. This level of healing and transformation is the only of its kind in the world to date. So those that want to join a global movement that will go down in history, I encourage you to apply for this program, to become a certified Mystical Life Coach™. You can apply here: https://mastersofselfuniversity.com/mystical_life_coach/
Classes for 2022 are full. The next class will begin in January 2023. But classes fill up fast so I urge you to apply now!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you use to guide yourself by?
“You can only give to another what you have become for yourself.” ~Rachel Fiori
Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life and how our readers might learn to live by it in theirs?
By living the above-written quote, this is how you remove your masks of fakeness and authentically, and unapologetically walk your talk while coming from nothing but integrity. Too many people out there are so far from truly healing themselves, but they’re giving advice, coaching others, and calling themselves healers. Too many students are masking themselves as teachers because they’re addicted to feeling special and gaining followers that make them feel validated. It’s disgraceful. Become what you want to teach. That takes devotion, hard work, and yes, it takes time to evolve enough to reach a level where you can authentically and honestly call yourself a teacher. Focus on becoming the best and most qualified student, so you can evolve into a genuine and powerful teacher that can move mountains and help to change the world.
Thank you so much for your time and for your inspiring insights!