Rachel Goldberg On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder

Educate Yourself about Eating Disorders: Take the time to learn about eating disorders, their symptoms, and treatment options. Understanding the complexities of these conditions will help you provide more informed support to your loved one.

Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.

In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding, and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Rachel Goldberg.

Meet Rachel Goldberg, MS, LMFT, a dedicated therapist specializing in eating disorders, perinatal issues, and infertility. With a strong foundation rooted in psychology, Rachel graduated from UCLA, where she honed her research skills while running a laboratory focused on understanding and addressing eating disorders. Alongside her academic pursuits, Rachel has a background as a personal trainer and fitness instructor, enriching her understanding of holistic health and wellness. Building upon this academic success, she pursued her Master’s degree at USC, delving deeper into the realms of clinical psychology and therapy.”

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

During my undergraduate years, I was fortunate to find mentorship under a professor who entrusted me with running her laboratory conducting studies on eating disorders. Having grown up as a gymnast, I intimately understood the societal pressures surrounding body image, particularly in a sport that emphasized smaller physiques for women. This experience fueled my desire to delve deeper into psychology while seeking a holistic understanding that incorporated exercise. While pursuing my graduate degree, I concurrently built a personal training business and led fitness classes. Additionally, I obtained certification in perinatal health, enabling me to address a wide spectrum of issues from disordered body image to disordered eating and exercise habits.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

I resonate with Viktor E. Frankl’s quote: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” In my younger years, I often felt powerless in situations beyond my control, whether it was the influence of caregivers or external circumstances. However, as I matured, I realized that while there are many aspects of life I cannot change, I always retain the power to change myself — my perspective, my attitude, and my responses to challenges. By embracing this mindset, I’ve discovered the strength to navigate life’s ups and downs, even when it’s not an easy task.

I’d like to give an honorable mention to another quote that holds great relevance in the context of eating disorders. Often attributed to Dr. George Bray, it goes: “Genes load the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger.” This succinctly captures the intricate interplay between genetic predisposition and environmental factors in the development of eating disorders.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?

Currently, I’m collaborating with a partner on an exciting project aimed at creating easily accessible content on mental health topics. Our goal is to present this information in a more entertaining format while still acknowledging the seriousness of these issues. By incorporating elements of comedy and relatability, we hope to engage a wider audience and break down barriers to discussing mental health openly.

According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?

1. Impact of Social Media: The pervasive influence of social media platforms has exposed individuals, especially young people, to unrealistic beauty standards and thinness. Influencers and curated images often promote unattainable body ideals, fostering poor body image and encouraging disordered eating behaviors. Additionally, the stress and loneliness exacerbated by the pandemic left many individuals more susceptible to these external pressures.
2. Cultural Emphasis on Thinness: Western cultures have long idealized thinness as a symbol of success, attractiveness, and self-worth. This emphasis originated in media such as movies, television, and magazines and persists despite the emergence of body positivity movements.
3. Complex Interaction of Mental Health Factors: Unresolved mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or trauma, can contribute to the development of eating disorders. These conditions are often influenced by a complex interplay of genetic predispositions, personality traits, and environmental stressors, such as a chaotic home life or societal expectations.
4. Pharmaceutical Industry Influence: The promotion of weight loss drugs, which is currently taking on a resurgence with the promotion of those targeting GLP-1 receptors such as Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro and Zepbound, has perpetuated the marketing of quick-fix solutions for weight management. This trend continues to reinforce harmful attitudes toward weight and body image and promotes the idea that individuals should pursue any means necessary to achieve a desired weight.

Based on your insight, what can concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?

1. Individuals should prioritize their mental and physical health by practicing self-awareness and surrounding themselves with others who approach balanced and intuitive eating practices rather than restrictive or fad diets.
2. Corporate entities can promote health and wellness initiatives within their organizations. This can include providing access to healthy food options in cafeterias, offering wellness programs and resources for employees, and supporting initiatives that promote positive body image and self-esteem.
3. Communities can advocate for policies and programs that promote healthy living and physical movement. This can include funding for school food and sports programs that prioritize holistic health, promoting access to affordable and healthy food options in underserved areas, and providing education and resources for parents on fostering healthy eating habits in children.
4. Leaders can advocate initiatives that address the root causes of eating disorders. Examples include advocating for policies that regulate the marketing of unhealthy foods to children, promoting body-positive messaging in media and advertising, and allocating funding for research and treatment programs aimed at preventing and treating eating disorders.

As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful,and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just control yourself”. What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness just like heart disease or schizophrenia?

Better training for healthcare providers is essential. When parents bring a child to a doctor and weight-related concerns arise, it’s common for the conversation to focus on lifestyle changes without addressing the underlying issues. This presents an opportunity to raise awareness about eating disorders as complex mental illnesses with genetic components, rather than solely attributing them to willpower or body image concerns. Additionally, since eating disorders often begin in adolescence or pre-adolescence, it would be beneficial to provide training for school teachers and counselors to recognize warning signs or false messages being spread among students. Their role would primarily be to refer affected individuals to professionals for assessment and support.

Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, can you share an example from your own experience?

1 . Educate Yourself about Eating Disorders: Take the time to learn about eating disorders, their symptoms, and treatment options. Understanding the complexities of these conditions will help you provide more informed support to your loved one.

2 . Avoid Pushing for Change: It’s important to refrain from pressuring your loved one to change or fix their behavior. Recovery must come from within, and pushing too hard can be counterproductive. Instead, offer your support and encouragement as they navigate their journey.

3 . Offer Support in Their Preferred Way: Be there for your loved one in the way they need most. If they’re unsure how you can help, let them know you’re available to listen and support them however they need. Offer activities unrelated to food, such as going for a walk together, volunteering, or engaging in a calming and ongoing activity like a large puzzle.

4 . Respect Their Space: While it’s important to show your support, it’s also necessary to give your loved one space and autonomy. Avoid constantly monitoring their eating habits or hovering over them with questions. Instead, create a supportive environment where they feel safe and empowered to make their own choices. Acknowledge the issue and offer assistance when needed, but also respect their boundaries to avoid passively shaming them for their struggles.

5 . Practice Patience: Recovery from an eating disorder is a challenging and non-linear process that can take years. Avoid putting pressure on your loved one to show immediate improvement or to meet certain expectations. Instead, be patient, understanding, and admiring of their progress, no matter how small.

How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?

It’s important to recognize that these conditions are not a choice, and those affected would prefer healthier coping mechanisms if they could. Show compassion for the pain and confusion the individual may be experiencing, acknowledging that they are doing the best they can at the present moment. Listen to their perspective on how the disorder manifests for them and what it feels like to be in their experience. Engage in conversations about other aspects of their life and broader topics unrelated to food or physical appearance. Affirm their strengths and interests, reminding them of their value beyond their eating disorder.

Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?

To anyone who may be reading this and struggling with an eating disorder, I’m so sorry you are hurting. Recovery is possible, and also, it’s certainly not easy. The journey may feel daunting at times, but the pain you are experiencing is not permanent. Be patient with yourself and recognize that recovery is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s okay to stumble along the way or find yourself in old patterns. Keep believing in yourself and the possibility of a brighter, healthier future ahead. You are deserving of support, love, and healing.

In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?

• Individuals should explore and participate in activities that bring them joy and a sense of accomplishment. Pursuing passions and hobbies provides a distraction from negative thoughts and fosters feelings of competence and self-worth.
• Individuals should reflect on and celebrate their small victories recognizing that recovery is a journey filled with ups and downs. Recognizing progress, however small, helps build confidence and resilience over time.
• Individuals should be gentle and compassionate with themselves during the recovery process. They should challenge self-critical thoughts and surround themselves with positive and supportive people. This includes either refraining from social media or tailoring their experience to positive influencers.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?

Book: Wasted — a memoir by Marya Hornbacher is an older book that remains profoundly relatable to those struggling with similar issues. It’s important to acknowledge that it can also be triggering, given its dark themes, but it authentically captures the depths of pain associated with eating disorders.

Book: 8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder by Carolyn Costin offers a unique perspective from a therapist who has personally experienced an eating disorder.

As for podcasts, they are truly amazing, but also the options are abundant and I believe individuals need to discover what resonates best with them and their personal struggle. One can easily find relevant podcasts by searching the term ‘eating disorder’ in any podcast app.”

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would inspire a movement focused on educating parents and caregivers on prevention strategies and early detection of mental health issues in children and adolescents. Early intervention has been shown to significantly improve outcomes, and by equipping parents with the knowledge and resources to recognize warning signs, we can ensure that more young people receive the support they need before problems escalate. This movement would not only benefit individuals and families but also contribute to building a healthier and more resilient society as a whole.

How can our readers continue to follow your work online?

My website rachelgoldbergtherapy.com offers both educational resources and regularly updated blog posts on relevant topics.

Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!