Raising Resilient Kids: Darryl K Auberry Of Be Strong International On Strategies for Nurturing Emotional Strength in Children
An Interview With Dr. Kate Lund
Building a positive outlook — Practice optimistic thinking by encouraging goals andinitiatives, creativity, and promoting activities where your child feels the success, highlighting what the child does well.
In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Mr. Darryl K. Auberry.
Darryl K. Auberry is the Program Manager for the Parenting Division at Be Strong International and a parent facilitator with The Children’s Trust of Miami-Dade Parent Club. He has been teaching parents research-based tips and techniques to help them raise their children for over five years. He has had the opportunity to host workshops throughout Miami-Dade County and the world through Zoom.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?
I’ve had the opportunity to be part of Be Strong International for over 19 years and have been the Program Manager for the Parent Division and a Parent Facilitator for The Children’s Trust of Miami-Dade’s Parent Club since the inception of the program.
Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?
Before launching The Children’s Trust Parent Club, our focus at Be Strong International was solely on offering programs for youth. However, we soon recognized that to create lasting change, it was essential to engage and educate not only the young people but their parents as well. So, when the opportunity to be part of The Children’s Trust Parent Club arose, we eagerly embraced it. When both sides are equally equipped with knowledge you have a solid foundation.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?
Since inception, we have served and educated over 19,000 parents through The Children’s Trust Parent Club. The greatest impact happens during workshops when parents share how the tools and knowledge, we provide help them improve their relationships with their kids. You can see their immediate desire to apply what they’ve learned, and when they do, it actually works. One parent, for example, shared that his child would not listen when he spoke. We taught him how to communicate effectively — without yelling — by staying calm, talking face-to-face, and speaking in a way the child could understand, with proper timing. He went home, tried it, and later shared that in just 15 minutes, his son was able to express what he liked, opening a new level of trust between them.
When you multiply these experiences, you see parents becoming better equipped to raise their children, and that’s where the true impact lies. My unique contribution is that I am a father first, and second, my experience working with both youth and parents gives me a 360-degree perspective that helps me teach more effectively.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
One of my favorite lessons is this: you’re not going to like everyone you meet, and not everyone you meet will like you. Not every opinion should carry the same weight in your life. It’s important to be mindful of whose words you let in. Children need to learn how to filter out opinions and focus on those that truly matter. As parents, it’s our responsibility to guide them in choosing the right people to influence their lives in a positive way.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?
At Be Strong International, we are dedicated to fostering healthy relationships, especially between parents and their children. As parents, it’s crucial to build a strong connection with our kids, because once that bond is established, they’ll trust us when we teach them life’s harder lessons. They need to understand that sometimes, despite hard work, they might fail, and life won’t always seem fair. But it’s through these experiences that they learn resilience — how to get back up, learn from their mistakes, and keep moving forward. This ongoing growth is the foundation for a lifelong, positive and healthy relationship.
What role does parental modeling of resilience play in the development of emotional strength in children? Can you share an example of a resilient parenting moment that you experienced directly or that you have come across in the course of your work?
We must model the behavior we want to see in our children, because they are always watching us. How we solve problems, handle adversity, and respond to failure — all of it shapes how they learn to navigate life. It’s important to tailor these lessons to their age and understanding. For instance, if a parent promises a trip to the park but it rains, it’s an opportunity to teach the child how to cope with disappointment. By showing them how to handle setbacks with patience and resilience, we help them develop the skills they’ll need throughout life.
If your child is older, such as a teenager, and they lose a game, it’s important for the parent to offer encouragement. Instead of focusing on the loss, remind them that setbacks are part of growth. Encourage them to push themselves harder, learn from the experience, and aim for a better result next season. By emphasizing resilience and effort, you help them develop perseverance and a positive mindset for future challenges.
What approaches do you recommend fostering a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenge as opportunities to learn?
I always emphasize that just because something is difficult doesn’t mean it’s impossible. I want to instill in my child the understanding that challenges are a part of life. When things get tough, I encourage perseverance. We’ll step back, assess the situation, set short-term goals, and figure out how we can tackle it together. If it works, that’s fantastic! If not, we’ll revisit, learn from any mistakes, and try again. In other words — don’t give up. Stay persistent.
How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?
It’s important to stay close and observe how different situations affect your child. Some failures are heavier than others, and we need to teach them how to process each one and help them bounce back. Allowing children the space to learn from their own mistakes is valuable, but we must be mindful not to let them face anything too dangerous or emotionally overwhelming. Striking the right balance between independence and guidance is key to their growth and resilience.
What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?
Find healthy ways to manage your stress, and let your children see you rise after a failure. This will humanize you in their eyes, showing them that no one is perfect including you. They need to witness firsthand what it means to recover, learn, and try again. We explore these important topics in greater depth during our free workshops for parents, helping you model resilience for your children.
Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”?
When it comes to raising resilient children, The Children’s Trust parenting experts at the Parent Club are the ones to turn to. They have identified six core building blocks that can help children manage their feelings and become emotionally resilient. These competencies, which include recognizing and accepting feelings, expressing feelings appropriately, building a positive outlook, developing coping skills, dealing with negative emotions, and dealing with stressful life events, are the key to ensuring your child’s healthy development in our ever-changing world. Here are some examples for each:
1. Teach your child to recognize and accept their feelings — Children need to be aware of how they are feeling. This is so they can communicate them to you, and you can help them work through them.
2. Teach your child to share their feelings in a respectful manner — Just because children might be upset doesn’t give them the right to make everyone around them uncomfortable or upset. A simple sentence can convey a lot. “I’m upset”, “I’m uncomfortable”, “This doesn’t work for me”, these are some examples of how they can communicate what they are feeling in a respectful tone.
3. Building a positive outlook — Practice optimistic thinking by encouraging goals andinitiatives, creativity, and promoting activities where your child feels the success, highlighting what the child does well.
4. Teach coping skills- If they are angry, they should take a break, excuse themselves and splash some water on their faces, remove themselves from the situation making them sad or angry. They should discover what relaxes them and do it as often as they can.
5. Model the behavior you want to see in your children- Parenting is hard. Sometimes it requires us to look for our flaws and to try to fix them. This is a humbling exercise. Not everyone likes this. But we must try. We must be the example. If we fall short, we should apologize and keep going.
6. Start now — Today is the perfect time to start implementing some of these principles. Change the methodology according to your child’s age.
How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?
We need to apply these lessons every chance we get, and that’s what makes it challenging. When we’re calm, it’s easy to recall what we’ve learned, but the true test comes when emotions run high. In those moments, can we still remember and apply what we’ve practiced? When your child is acting out, it’s crucial to stay composed, apply the principles, and guide them through their coping skills. Just like a muscle, resilience only grows when it faces resistance.
Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?
At Be Strong International, we always recommend keeping a journal or some sort of record. It can be any notebook or notetaking app. You just need to keep track of the date it happened, maybe what you tried to do and see if it worked. Measure your results and adjust if necessary.
Wonderful. We are nearly done. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)
Absolutely, I would love the opportunity to meet NBA player Stephen Curry. His ability to balance his family life — his wife and children — while excelling in his career is truly inspiring. Watching him play at the highest level of excellence on the court is impressive, but what’s even more admirable is how he brings that same level of dedication and passion to his family. Whether he’s spending time with his little girl or going on a date with his wife, he shows the same excitement and commitment. It would be fascinating to pick his brain on how he maintains this balance and gain insights that could enhance the workshops we offer to parents at Be Strong International.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please visit our website www.bestrongintl.org and follow us on social media @bestrongintl and for more information on The Children’s Parent Club, please visit www.TheChildrensTrust.org/parentclub and follow The Children’s Trust on Facebook, Instagram, X and LinkedIn
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.
