Raising Resilient Kids: Leslie Bushara Of Children’s Museum of Manhattan On Strategies for Nurturing Emotional Strength in Children

An Interview With Dr. Kate Lund

Maintain a daily routine: Creating a daily routine provides comfort to children, especially during times of transition such as starting a new school, moving, or welcoming a new sibling.

In today’s fast-paced world, children face numerous challenges that can impact their emotional well-being. Developing resilience is key to helping them navigate these obstacles and grow into emotionally strong individuals. How can parents, educators, and caregivers foster this resilience in children? As part of this interview series, we had the pleasure to interview Leslie Bushara.

A key member of the leadership, education and exhibition team of the Children’s Museum of Manhattan (CMOM) for more than 25 years, Leslie Bushara is responsible for strategic and long-range institutional, educational and exhibition planning and for spearheading partnerships with the National Institutes of Health and the New York City Departments of Education, Homeless Services and Correction. Her articles have been published by the White House Blog, Cognitive Development in Museum Settings and Curator Journal. She has been recognized with the White House’s Champions of Change Award; the New York State Association for the Education of Young Children’s Champions for Children Award; and the Beyond Housing Award from the Institute for Children, Poverty, and Homelessness.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Before we dig in, our readers would like to ‘get to know you’. Can you tell us a bit about your background and your backstory?

Theater and music led me to NYC. The community, collaboration and connection to people were an exciting combination. My passion for working with children began in middle school and continued throughout college and after. I loved creating safe spaces and programs for children to sing, dance, make art and participate in storytelling activities. My role as a preschool teacher confirmed my passion for working with children, but I missed the element of family engagement.

Combining a love of theater, music and family learning led me to the Museum, which was designed as a place for families to learn, connect and grow together. I loved the family dynamic, the specially designed learning environments and the mission to serve all of NYC’s children.

I began at the Museum as a preschool teacher and over these past decades I’ve worked in collaboration and partnership with the CMOM team and city agency partners, academic advisors and university partners to create exhibits and national program models that support children’s emerging preschool readiness and executive function skills.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to your particular career path?

Early in my career I was given an opportunity to work with teen mothers who were juggling high-school classes and new parenting responsibilities. We met weekly at CMOM for an early childhood program designed for their children. The children were curious and explored the museum with wonder, while the mothers were tentative, wary and intimated by this new place. I realized that our program model had not taken into full consideration the needs of the young mothers, and that in order to connect with and be of service to these children we had to find ways to build trust and bond with the mothers as well. We expanded the program to include a mothers’ writing circle, which provided opportunities for the young moms to connect with each other and express their emotions about parenting. With that, we began the deeper work of creating a program model that responds to community needs and embraces the entire family. Over the years the program has deepened and expanded to incorporate a social worker and include mothers experiencing homelessness. Through this work I realized the power of CMOM’s ability to create unusual program initiatives that are responsive to family needs and have deep impact.

Over the years I’ve kept in touch with many of the young women who attended our program. This past fall one of those women brought her granddaughter to the museum and said, “This feels like home. I learned how to be a mom at CMOM.”

Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on raising resilient kids? In your opinion, what is your unique contribution to this field?

For the past 30 years I’ve had the honor of welcoming and working with families from all corners of NYC and beyond, meeting parents and children in times of great joy, achievement, and even trauma. CMOM’s research-backed immersive learning environments and programs are designed to support the bond between these parents and children. They celebrate diverse learning styles and encourage children to explore, try new things, take safe risks, fail and try again. These experiences help children to embrace the power of possibility while fostering the skills that build resiliency.

Daily programs at CMOM and in the community position the Museum as a “living laboratory,” where we gain insight into the evolving needs of parents as they raise their children in NYC.

Every day we experience moments of triumph and failure, excitement, and pure joy, all in the service of raising children who are curious, compassionate, confident and ready to thrive in the world.

CMOM operates as a community hub for all families — a place like no other — that seeks to shine a light on all the beauty, challenges, and messiness of parenting and that embraces, nurtures and respects the journey and deep work of childhood.

Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?

“Run your own race and let your child do the same.”

As a parent and educator, I find that this simple but powerful phrase has guided, steadied, and focused me throughout my career and motherhood journey. Parenting is thrilling, extraordinary and daunting. Every parent wants their child to be successful and to thrive in the world.

This quote is a reminder to embrace who your child is and not who you wish or hope they might be.

The traits that make them different — special and vulnerable — are their superpower, not something to change or lament.

So often when I listen to parents I catch myself thinking about my own children. “Oh, I wish they were more like that kid,” or “Why isn’t my child reading or singing like the others?”

It’s so important to turn down the noise, quiet our competitive nature and focus on our own child’s individual journey.

Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. How can parents handle situations when a child faces failure or disappointment? What strategies can parents use to help a child bounce back?

• Validate your child’s feelings and experience and comfort them. Don’t minimize their disappointment.
• Encourage them to try again. Help children see that it’s okay to fail — that failure is part of a learning process.
• Focus on your child’s character, not their achievements. Support a strong work ethic and determination, not the end goal. Perfection is not the goal.
• Try not to problem-solve for your child. Give them a chance to work with you to figure out a challenging situation. This builds your child’s confidence.
• What role does parental modeling of resilience play in the development of emotional strength in children? Can you share an example of a resilient parenting moment that you experienced directly or that you have come across in the course of your work?
• Children learn by watching and listening to how their parents handle difficult situations. That’s why it’s important to be a good role model.

Convey an optimistic outlook on life and approach problems with hope and determination.

What approaches do you recommend to foster a growth mindset in children, encouraging them to see challenge as opportunities to learn?

• Praise effort and celebrate progress: share that you have also made mistakes and that is part of the learning process.
• Introduce and welcome new experiences: help children enjoy learning something new instead of worrying about mastery.
• Set appropriate goals: establish targets that help children feel in control and learn the value of the process over the end result.

How can parents balance providing support with allowing their children to experience and overcome difficulties on their own?

• Be a good listener, and don’t try to solve their problems for them. Work with children to come up with an actionable plan for making things better.
• Help children understand that sad and scary feelings will pass. It’s okay to feel scared. It’s a natural part of life. We grow from all our experiences, both good and challenging.

What self-care practices would you recommend for parents to maintain their own resilience while going through the everyday challenges of raising children?

• Keep to a routine that includes good sleep, eating healthy, exercise and limiting social media.
• Make time to de-stress: take time to do something you enjoy on your own without your children, such as painting, moviegoing, dinner with friends, meditation, dancing, deep breathing, yoga, listening to music.
• Model confidence and calm for yourself and your children.

Can you please share “5 Strategies To Raise Children With Resilience and Emotional Strength”? If you can, kindly share a story or example for each.

1. Build connection and community: Help your child understand the importance of engaging with friends, teachers, and other adults to help develop important life skills such an empathy, compassion and listening to others. Creating a strong and varied network provides social support and strengthens resilience. Example: A strong community will help your child when faced with a moral dilemma or a risky situation.

2. Maintain a daily routine: Creating a daily routine provides comfort to children, especially during times of transition such as starting a new school, moving, or welcoming a new sibling.

3. Raise a problem-solver: Help your child tackle challenges by learning how to look at situations from different perspectives. Help them set reasonable goals and focus on the process and task at hand. This will help them build resilience in the face of challenges.

4. Nurture a positive sense of self: Help your child learn to care for themselves by creating a balance of having fun with activities they enjoy and learning or trying new things. Make sure they are caring for their bodies by eating properly, exercising and establishing good sleep habits.

5. Focus on the process, not the end goal: Praise your child’s effort, character, determination and self-expression. This will give them confidence and pride and build resilience when they face challenges.

How can mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques be incorporated into daily routines to support children’s emotional resilience?

Create everyday moments of reflection and routine with your family:

• Take nature walks together and practice mindful listening: listen for birds, the wind or calming nature sounds.
• Create gratitude cards or journals: encourage children to write down people, experiences and things that they feel grateful for.
• Encourage an open and supportive environment to share and express feelings.

Help your child learn to manage big feelings by developing emotional regulation skills. Have your child draw, paint or collage a picture of their feelings. What do anger or happiness look like?

Are there any specific tools or resources (books, apps, courses) you recommend for individuals looking to improve in this area?

• Sesame Street https://sesameworkshop.org/topics/social-emotional-skills/resilience/.
• Children book : Ish and Beautiful Oops
• Raising Resiliency by Tovah Klein

Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)

• Michelle Obama or Hillary Clinton: Both women are resilient mothers, leaders, and advocates for families.

How can our readers further follow your work online?

• Visit cmom.org

This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!

About the Interviewer: Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, podcast host, best-selling author and Tedx Speaker. The power of resilience in extraordinary circumstances kept her thriving as a child. Dr. Lund now helps entrepreneurs, executives, parents, and athletes to see the possibility on the other side of struggle and move towards potential. Her goal is to help each person she works with to overcome their unique challenges and thrive within their own unique context.