Rising Music Star Brenda Cay On The Five Things You Need To Shine In The Music Industry

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s easy to get caught up with trying to get everything done, but it’s better to lean on the people who are there to help you. A co-writer might help make a song better, or a vocal coach might suggest something vocally that just makes a melody pop.

As a part of our interview series with leaders, stars, and rising stars in the music industry, we had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Brenda Cay.

Brenda Cay is a country singer/songwriter based out of Nashville, TN. With a decade of songwriting experience, she emerged on the scene three years ago recording and performing her own music. Since that time, she has earned 14 licensing deals and accumulated over five million streams. Brenda has 50,000 followers on social media and her songs are on over 1,000 playlists. She has received national recognition from American Songwriter for “I Fish” and is working with other hit songwriters for some highly anticipated releases in 2023.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to learn a bit about your “origin story”. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

Thank you for inviting me. Growing up, I was definitely not a girly girl. I was stuck in the middle of three brothers — one older and twin younger brothers. We spent a lot of time fishing and swimming and even did a little hunting. I had to be tough because being the only girl, I got picked on especially by my older brother. Of course, I dished that all out to my younger brothers! Like they say, stuff rolls downhill. Learning to fight for everything has helped me though, especially in this business where having a thick skin is important.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?

I was going through some really tough times and listening to music helped me work through my feelings. I felt like I connected to music in ways I never had before. It was at that point that I sat down and tried to write my first song. It wasn’t very good and I kind of laughed at myself and dismissed it, but over the next couple of weeks I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I’m sure everyone thought I was crazy (actually they probably already knew it), but I went and bought a guitar and started learning everything I could. I love it and I’ve never looked back.

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

Not long after I recorded my first EP, I was manning a booth at a local wrestling event. Nobody really knew who I was, but I thought I could sell some merch and just meet people because every little bit helps. During the intermission, they came over the loudspeaker and said, “Recording artist Brenda Cay is in the house!” Then they played one of the songs from my EP. I felt like a rock star even though I think I only sold one mug and two EPs. I’m not sure anyone from that night knows who I am even now.

It has been said that sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

Our mistakes are our greatest teachers! At one of the first shows I did, I was singing an original song of mine and when I got to the tag at the end of the song, I couldn’t remember the lyrics. At that moment, the only lyrics I could think of were the lyrics from the bridge of the song. My guitar player gave me a look like, “What are you doing?” He rolled with it though and we played out the rest of the song including the real tag. I’m not sure if anyone noticed or not. I learned a couple of lessons from that experience. First, I need to practice more! Second is that when you make a mistake, just make it look like you planned it that way!

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

There are so many people that have helped me along the way, but one of my best friends in this crazy music business is Brian Brewer. He originally began helping me learn to arrange music for my songs and then I began taking guitar lessons from him. I have worked with him on a weekly basis for over ten years. He’s been a co-producer and played multiple instruments on nearly every song I’ve written, and he’s co-written some as well. We share music and laugh a lot, but he’s seen me cry and when I felt like giving up, he’s been there to encourage me. He’s gone above and beyond to help me and has even appeared in a couple of my videos. He’s also a personal trainer and a boxer and in one of my favorite videos, “Fragile Like a Bomb,” he trained me on boxing technique.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

One of my favorite life lesson quotes is from Shark Tank’s Barbara Corcoran. She said, “The biggest challenge in business is not the competition, it’s what goes on inside your own head.” This is so true. I have a natural tendency to look at other musicians, vocalists, and writers and compare myself. I channel that into motivation to constantly improve my skills, but I’m human and I have to be careful not to let it get me down when I don’t feel like I measure up.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?

I recently released a video for my latest single called “X & Y” which was so fun to shoot! The song is about those relationships that we get into where we think we found the perfect person and then later realize that our ex was just another frog. The video is set in a small town and one of my favorite scenes is me sitting in the car with a pair of binoculars stalking my ex over the lyrics, “Home alone thinking ‘bout who was on his mind.”

I’m in the process of recording a new song to release in the spring. I wrote this one in Nashville with hit producer/hit songwriter, Trey Bruce. This song will be more intimate and vulnerable and I can’t wait to share it with everyone!

We are very interested in diversity in the entertainment industry. Can you share three reasons with our readers about why you think it’s important to have diversity represented in music, film, and television? How can that potentially affect our culture?

Diversity is important and social media has made our world very small. We have the ability to connect on a much larger scale, so it’s important to know and understand other people and cultures. We are afraid of what we don’t know because it makes us uncomfortable. The more exposure we have to others, the more comfortable we will become. I think it’s especially important in the entertainment industry because we tend to believe the world is what we see on film and TV so that representation needs to be accurate. As a society, I think we tend to look up to and idolize the people we see in film and TV. We look to them to see how to treat other people so if they are inclusive of others, the rest of society sees that as okay and they’re hopefully more willing to follow. Finally, we need more diverse role models. As humans, we are multi-faceted and may identify with someone for a number of different reasons. Having more diverse role models helps us become stronger.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.

1. Practice doesn’t make perfect. Don’t get me wrong — practice is important, but I used to beat myself up because I couldn’t play the guitar as well as I wanted. I still spend a lot of time working at it and I try to celebrate every little victory. I have found that if I put a song down and come back to it after I’ve learned other new stuff, I play the old stuff better even though I haven’t practiced it recently. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it does give you confidence.
2. Because music is art, there is no right or wrong and everyone has an opinion. This still challenges me because I like to make everyone happy. The best example I can think of is having a song critiqued and someone would quote Kevin O’Leary from Shark Tank and say, “It would be a crime to waste any more money on it. Take it out behind the shed and shoot it!” Another person would say it’s going to be a hit and that I should focus my energies on it.
3. It’s an expensive business to get started in. Someone once joked that it’s easy to be a musician and be a millionaire — you just have to start with a billion dollars. I’m sure many business owners would totally get that because most of the time there is an up-front investment required. I love what I do and I’m happy that my experience in business and accounting helps me with the business aspects of the music industry.
4. It’s a 24/7 job. There are so many facets to this job. Of course, there’s songwriting and recording music and music videos, but there is so much more that goes on behind the scenes. As an artist, I’m constantly working to promote my songs on social media, emailing them out to radio stations in hopes they’ll play them, trying to come up with ideas for merchandise, and book gigs. Even when I go to bed at night my mind is still swirling with ideas for songs and how to make the next song or video better than the last.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s easy to get caught up with trying to get everything done, but it’s better to lean on the people who are there to help you. A co-writer might help make a song better, or a vocal coach might suggest something vocally that just makes a melody pop.

Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?

I would say be kind to yourself. It’s great to work on improving but be careful not to compare yourself to others around you. The only person you need to be better than is who you are today. You will get knocked down a lot in this industry and as one of my favorite strong women, Barbara Corcoran, likes to say, “The only difference between the winners and losers is how long you stay down. Stay down as long as you need, but not a moment longer.” Surround yourself with positivity and people that genuinely want to help you succeed. Most importantly, take breaks! Even though I love what I do, I need a break from time to time so I can come back fresh with new ideas for songs and music.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

We’ve all been judged or been on the receiving end of hurtful comments and have even lost friendships with those we were close to because the world is so polarized. It seems like a simple thing, but I think about the golden rule — do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Mother Teresa perhaps said it better when she said, “We can do no great things, only small things with great love.” We all want kindness and respect, and no one likes being judged. Let’s all focus on that! Do something kind each day. Smile at someone and take time to understand what they are going through. It doesn’t cost anything. It only takes self-discipline to not rip someone apart because you disagree with them. See value in everyone! We can ignite a revolution if we all take this to heart.

Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)

I would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with Garth Brooks! I mean who wouldn’t? He’s such an amazing storyteller and entertainer. He has this way of singing a song or talking to a crowd of 50,000 people, but you feel like he’s having a one-on-one conversation with you. He also has a great sense of humor and seems to be a very kind and positive person. I want to be like him when I grow up lol!

How can our readers follow you online?

My website: https://www.brendacay.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BrendaCayMusic

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brendacaymusic/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BrendaCayMusic

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brendacaymusic?lang=en

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@brendacaymusic

This was very meaningful, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!