Rising Star Lily Shaw On The Five Things You Need To Shine In The Entertainment Industry

Stand up for yourself: This is a particularly difficult one for women, especially women of color and immigrants. Mainly, since women are expected to be likeable and they are expected to go along to get along, and to not make a lot of noise. Women are supposed to be nurturers, caretakers, and mothers. All this messaging has a singular objective: to get women to undervalue and under appreciate themselves; to make it clear that women are always inferior to men.

As a part of our series about pop culture’s rising stars, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing LILY SHAW

Lily Shaw is an emotional powerhouse of an actress with 10 years of experience in film & TV, Stage, and New Media, an expert writer for Backstage magazine, and an award-winning motivational speaker who was rescued and inspired by the make-believe world of cinema at the age of 7.

A first generation Indian American, and the first woman in her family to step away from tradition to pursue a creative profession, she has been a powerful voice for women’s empowerment since childhood. She, now, fiercely stands for social justice and equal representation.

As a conscious speaker, she leads by example and inspires audiences to use their voice, own their gifts, and authentically become who they were born to be.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

Born and raised in India, I emigrated with my family to the States when I was a teenager.

An intuitive girl, I was always a square peg in a round hole. I was a heart-centered and soul-driven girl who always kinda knew to treat people with love and respect. Thankfully for me, I was born in a spiritually driven country of India which gave me the freedom to navigate my life using my heart, not my mind.

However, as is often the case, the naysayers, skeptics, and the haters showed up early in my life, simply because I was ‘different.’ Forcing me to stand up for myself and defend myself — from the time I won my first sports trophy at 5 years of age.

I quickly became polarizing. People who loved me loved me dearly; my friends were my real friends, not frenemies. People who hated me also did so with a passionate zeal.

My surviving grace through the struggles of growing up was my ‘inner voice’ — my intuition. Fast evolving into an idealistic and romantic version of myself, my connection to my inner voice showed me my path forward, a path that, in my mind, led to happiness, success and unbeknownst to me, some peace of mind.

That path was the path of becoming an actress on the big screen. For me, it was Bollywood cinema. I was absolutely enamored by the gravitas of cinema.

The fun, fantasy world of movies allowed me to escape the pain and the heartbreak that came from growing up too soon. Seeing life through the lens of a camera, I quickly embodied the belief that, eventually, everyone gets their Happily-Ever-After.

This blind faith — and the naivete of a young girl who thought being both happy and successful was a given in one’s life — gave me the courage to pursue my heart’s passions.

By this time, however, we had emigrated to the States, and I was determined to be an actress. It didn’t matter to me what country it was in or what language was spoken. I needed to express myself, and so, one week after graduating college, I drove out to LA.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path?

My journey, as a performer, began at 3 years of age in India, with a family trip. My family and I were walking along our path, when I heard some of the other fellow travelers playing drums across the street from us. As it happened, I heard the drums, ran towards them, and, unprompted, started dancing to the beat of the drums — right there on the street. My dad followed me, and soon enough, all the travelers joined in, and it became a dance party for all!

And so, the dye was cast.

I grew up dancing…on both real and imagined stages! Somewhere, along the way, my love for dancing transformed into a love for acting!

Over the years I pretended to have interest in other careers — ones that perhaps were more acceptable to my parents, relatives, and other social connections.

But my heart always brought me back to acting on film.

It was the only time I felt alive, felt like I was just being ME. The rest of the time I was either being a good daughter or a good student, or I was doing as I was told, or I was busy fulfilling others’ expectations and being responsible. Being anything but myself.

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

Two, very fun and random things happened to me without even trying early on in my career:

1. My first big acting role, which allowed me to join the SAG union (back then SAG and AFTRA were two separate unions) and become a legitimate actress, came when Christopher Guest hired me for a commercial! He was a very actor-friendly director who collaborated with me while I was in the audition room, and of course, working with him instantly elevated my status as a young actress!
2. My most fun role on stage was playing ‘Ms. Orange’ in an all-female adaptation of Quentin Terentino’s ‘Reservoir Dogs.’ This was waaaay before the #MeToo, female empowerment movement, so it was really special to get to inhabit this role! I had the option of being Ms. White or Ms.Orange, and on a hunch, I picked Ms. Orange. Boy, am I glad I did! Getting to do the mirror scene was reason enough to be an actor. Truly a fulfilling experience in every way possible!

Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

This happened during a commercial audition. My audition was towards the end of the day around 5:30 pm, during the Fall in Los Angeles, when it gets dark early in the day.

I got ready, checked myself in the mirror, and headed out to my audition. I also grabbed a little fruit — blueberries to be precise — to eat on the way.

Traffic being traffic and this being LA, by the time I got to my audition I was running a little late, so I quickly found a place to park, checked myself in the rear-view mirror. The lights in my rear-view mirror were out so I made a mental note to get those fixed asap, and I headed inside to my audition.

I signed up and found out that the audition people were also running a little behind. I proceeded to wait. All the time, fighting this nagging little thing inside me, asking me to go to the restroom. For some reason I couldn’t shake off the need to go to the bathroom. I was super confused as I didn’t ‘need to go’ and planned on using the restroom before heading out. So, I ignored my nagging voice.

Instead, I waited in the lobby, engaged with other actresses, talked to some kids, and laughed with them and had a little fun time. Pretty soon, they called me in to audition. I went in, and I did the audition. It was a really fun one. I had to make funny faces to make a kid laugh.

I did my thing, and when I was done the director told me, “Good job!”

I was really surprised as usually the person in the room doesn’t really talk to you. You say ‘hi,’ you audition, you leave!

Why did he say ‘good job’ to me?? I thought,“Wow, I must have done a good job.” And I thought I could expect a callback.

As soon as I got to my car, I remembered I should go to the restroom before leaving. So I headed back in. As I was washing my hands, I caught my reflection in the mirror and smiled at myself. And…to my horror, I found this BIG GIANT BLUEBERRY stuck right on my front two teeth.

The piece was stuck there the whole time! While I was waiting in the room, talking to other people, and much to my chagrin, during my audition.

No one during this whole time, alerted me to my front teeth!!! Needless to say, I never got the callback.

So, I got the lights fixed in my rearview mirror, and now, I carry a small mirror, always check my teeth right before going in to audition, and, of course, I always listen to my nagging little voice!

What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now?

I hit a reset button on my life and career a couple years ago. I felt like I was falling through the cracks, and I needed to reconnect with myself again…to put myself, my voice, and my talent out there in a real and authentic way so that not only did I feel fulfilled as a woman and as an artist, but also, so that my work would make an impact in the world.

While the world shut down in 2020, I found my voice by working with aligned experts and coaches who valued my talent and worked with me to guide me towards success!

I’m happy to say I now have a great team of representatives who are helping me position myself as an actress in a strong, empowered way.

In 2020, I also became an expert writer for the premier acting website magazine Backstage and a published writer for ThriveGlobal and Medium.

Most recently, I’ve appeared on podcasts like on Must.Love.Self; Reinvent You; Unchain your Inner Strength; Empowerography; and Relatively Damaged.

I’m also in the process of launching myself as a virtual speaker. Stay tuned!

All of this is an attempt to be a positive influence in the world, and to be an instrument of good in the world.

When we are struck by tragedy, it’s very easy to duck and hide away, but I feel honored that I can now share my path with other young women and men, to inspire them to create their lives by believing in themselves.

You have been blessed with success in a career path that can be challenging. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?

My biggest advice would be to not confuse failing with being a failure. You only become a failure when you quit trying. As long as you’re putting yourself out there and doing your best, you’re a winner!

Acting and other creative professions are mostly about the intangible. Just because you don’t have any signs of outward progress like a big role or huge house or millions of followers, It doesn’t mean you’re not making any progress. Creativity gets done quietly on the inside, till one day it shows up and is visible to the world. Until that day comes, don’t allow the naysayers and the ‘steady paycheck’ crowd to put you down or diminish you or make you believe you’re not doing anything. You are creating. Carefully. Methodically. Magically.

Fall in love with the process. There’s nothing more exciting, scary, fun or challenging than creating a business from scratch. Enjoy the journey and watch the universe take you on the ride of your life!

We are very interested in diversity in the entertainment industry. Can you share three reasons with our readers about why you think it’s important to have diversity represented in film and television? How can that potentially affect our culture?

First, on a spiritual level, I feel an over-identification with the physical, like race, gender, sexual orientation, and skin color cuts us off from our higher, more divine selves. And it’s our higher self that paves the way to progress. Einstein, Lincoln, Bell — all the world changers — have expressly spoken about their sixth sense, that ‘something’ that kept them going and allowed them to discover and change the world for the better. So, if we want to keep progressing and innovating, we need to create a world that unites us rather than divides us. A world that focuses on creating harmony and acceptance in the physical world so we can connect to our inner spiritual world.

Second, for far too long, voices that have been deemed ‘different’ or ‘foreign’ or ‘too out there’ have been muted in the name of keeping the status quo intact or preserving peace. This has created an unjust world where one voice is regularly sacrificed to amplify the other. Where one version of beauty is routinely dismissed in favor of another. Where opportunities are routinely withheld from one group and given to another. This creates a system of oppression, colonialism, imperialism and a culture of never-ending wars. Equal opportunity for all should be the magic mantra of the entire human race, going forward, if we want to save our world and consequently, our planet.

Third, here’s a personal story: When I was a young actor in Hollywood, I signed up with my first agent. I showed him my demo reel, which was a combination of my performances. He really loved my work! And then proceeded to comment, “If only you had the right look, you could be the next Sandra Bullock.” I knew what he meant — that if only I met the outdated standards of beauty, or came equipped with the right color, I would have had a chance to succeed. With this succinct and lazy statement, he dismissed my chances of ever making it as an actress. Keeping talent locked away, simply to preserve the imperialistic tendencies of the by-gone era seems utterly useless. And it’s cruel. Plain and simple.

What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why. Please share a story or example for each.

1. Indulge in Essence-based marketing: This is one of the biggest keys to success, and something that applies to all businesses, creative or product-based. The reason behind this is simple: it’s the fastest, easiest and the most authentic way to distinguish ourselves, our business, our values, and our services from the crowd. In my experience, once you understand your essence you can approach your world from a position of strength and authority. This can empower you to create products that align with you and also attract customers who share your vision. It’s a win-win! Most importantly, it creates the atmosphere of creation, not competition. Once we figure out what we do best, we can co-exist in the same space without stepping on each other’s toes. The biggest, brightest example of knowing your type is Apple vs. Microsoft. Apple consumers would ‘die’ before they buy Microsoft! Another great contrast is Patricia Arquette vs. Francis McDormand — both are strong women and great actresses, but what one can do the other can’t! Authentic, aligned, and essence-based marketing is all based on selling your strengths based on your uncompromising vision. No artificiality required.
2. Have a community of people who lift you up: I learned this lesson too late in both my personal and professional life. I carried the whole lone-wolf mentality to its greatest extreme. From an early age, I was told to ‘pack my own shute,’ ‘that it’s not our job to care for you,’ ‘people always take advantage of you,’ and on and on and on. This couldn’t be further away from the truth. The reality is that human beings are a social race. No man is an island. We all need a support system to help make our dreams manifest. In order to succeed in life, we need people who believe in us, who can show us the path when we are lost, who can comfort us when we are sad. And what that help looks like can vary for everybody — from parents, siblings and friends to coaches, teachers, mentors, bosses, Oprah, and beyond. We come factory-installed with a strong need to connect with other people. So, if anyone ever tells you that ‘asking for help is a weakness,’ run the other way! There’s nothing more life-affirming than being surrounded by people who can guide you towards making your dreams a reality. P.S. Never be afraid to invest in yourself. If you need a nanny to help with the kids, figure out a way to get it. If you need a coach to help you improve your skills, figure out a way to get it. Ask for help fearlessly. And give help fearlessly.
3. Create with faith, not fear: We’ve all been here: We see someone else slim down, and we immediately start to follow ‘this person’s’ diet and forget our own plan. We see someone else have a ‘great relationship’ we start to immediately look for ‘someone like them’ and stop focusing on our current relationship. We see a friend get a job we like, we immediately ‘apply for that position’ — fingers crossed — hoping to get that job. Or worse, we try to malign their reputation, and/or resent their success. This type of behavior is driven by insecurity, by a lack mentality, by FOMO, and most strikingly, by lack of faith in our capabilities. Rather than opening our world, this behavior closes us down and fills us with doubt, fear, and insecurity. And it seldom leads to success or happiness. Instead, try creating from a place of faith: the path that you’re following is meant for you. It came to you- you either planned it, or created it using your intuition. Either way, it’s yours and it’s designed to help you reach your destination. So, trust yourself, and act. This doesn’t mean don’t ever take others’ suggestions or if an easier, more aligned way shows itself that you shouldn’t walk it. It simply means that whatever action you take or don’t take has to come from your truth, has to fill you with happiness and trust, and it has to feel right. And when your friend gets the job you want, use that to either gain more information so you can flesh out your own path forward; or know that your intuition is showing you this as a confirmation of the success of your plans. (There are TONS of books that address mindset strategy to help you live in a place of productivity and positivity, and not fear). Either way stay steady on your path, celebrate others’ successes, and know that what’s meant for you will always show up.
4. Stand up for yourself: This is a particularly difficult one for women, especially women of color and immigrants. Mainly, since women are expected to be likeable and they are expected to go along to get along, and to not make a lot of noise. Women are supposed to be nurturers, caretakers, and mothers. All this messaging has a singular objective: to get women to undervalue and under appreciate themselves; to make it clear that women are always inferior to men. This messaging has worked wonderfully well through the ages. Women worry about being perfect and being judged if they aren’t able to ‘lean in,’ are overworked and underpaid, and constantly struggle with anxiety and guilt if they take some time ‘for themselves.’ This pattern is self-destructive and entirely the creation of a toxic masculine culture that forces women to constantly prove themselves. And it always tells them they are not good enough. It is time to stop this. Stand up and ask for what’s yours. You might be hated. It’s okay. You might be disliked. It’s okay. You might have fewer friends. It’s okay. But you will be fulfilled. Which is great. And you’ll be happier, which is fantastic. And you’ll feel like you’re adding value. Which is kind of the whole point. And you don’t have to start big. Start with smaller things. Like taking a half hour of ‘me time’ and asking your near ‘n dear ones to be on their own. Like doing a 20-minute meditation. Like spending time ‘not being productive’ and ‘just being lazy.’ Soon enough, you’ll start trusting yourself and it’ll become easier to speak your truth. Even if it disrupts the lives of others.
5. Don’t let others shame you or make you believe the worst about you: To fully understand what shame actually is, I would encourage your readers to listen to Brene’ Brown’s lecture called ‘The Power of Vulnerability.’ When you set out to create a path of our own, when you deviate from the tried and the tested, the ‘work for 30 years, raise kids, retire, and then your life can really begin’ model, you are doing the unexpected! You’re breaking free of the matrix. But this path-breaking model is also filled with a huge risk of failure. And this possibility of ‘failure’ will invite a lot of cruelty — some in the form of passive-aggressiveness, some in the form of humor, some in the form of watching others’ rise while you are exactly where you started, and some in the form of ‘I told you so.’ But you have to know that these people deriving pleasure at your expense are desperately seeking to do exactly what you’re doing. They want to live on the edge of the cliff. They want to explore what they’re capable of, they want to leap — but something stops them. So have compassion for the people shaming you, disconnect from them, and pursue your path. With courage and determination. You might even change your path as you go along, but as long as you’re guided from your truth, you’re a success!

Here’s the link to the 5 Things video: https://youtu.be/NPo9tCihAH8

Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them to thrive and not “burn out”?

This is something that I particularly struggle with! Especially since I’m absolutely the pedal to the metal kind of person and can absolutely get carried away in the fun of it all!!! I’m learning how to turn down the dial on the overwork myself. So, the tip that works really well for me is to: Listen to my body. I’m pretty tuned into myself as I’ve been into spiritual living for a while now. So, when my body tells me to stop and take a break, I do. It doesn’t matter how urgent the matter at hand is. I stop and I disconnect when needed.

You are a person of enormous influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I would love to inspire people to act towards their dreams and to not be afraid of failure. Insecurity-fueled beliefs, like the fear of failure, fear of success, fear of ridicule, fear of being judged are keeping everybody from reaching for the stars! I would invite your readers to empower themselves, believe in the beauty of their dreams, and go for it. It is possible to have it all: love, money, success, and influence, if we take action from our hearts and souls.

Becoming the best version of ourselves and achieving our highest potential by harnessing the deep recesses of our subconscious and trusting the universe can electrify us! We just have to take the first step in that direction.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

The people who’ve supported me unconditionally are my mother and my brother. I wouldn’t have been able to survive this long and continue along my path without their support and their endless patience!

I’ve also been heavily influenced by teachers like Deepak Chopra, Abraham Hicks, Oprah, Wayne Dyer, and many other spiritual and law of attraction teachers who taught me to follow my truth, keep believing in the magical power of the universe, and most importantly, to believe in myself. Despite all odds.

And now I’m working with a team of coaches and experts who are uniquely and perfectly suited to me: Jane Dashow, Heather Burgett, Natalie Roy, Brian Patacca, my team at Discover Management and Savage Agency, Theresa Vee, Rebecca Silence, as well as my community of fellow actors, artists, and entrepreneurs who are all people that constantly inspire me to reach my highest potential and boldly step into my power!

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

‘As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’ This powerful quote by Nelson Mandela has had a huge impact throughout my life. Over and over again, I’d have to remind myself that people who put me down, who insulted me, who discriminated against me, who marginalized my existence — that they were doing so out of fear. Their fear of facing the truth of their own lives was causing them to lash out against mine. As I took the journey through the dark, painful forest of living a disempowered life, I learnt that your inner light will always guide your way. And just as sure as the sun rises in the morning, your day will come too. And it will be glorious. It is up to you, however, to use it for good, to break the cycle of abuse by using your light to show the way to others.

Is there a person in the world, or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-)

I would love to sit down with Bela Bajaria, one of the most powerful women in the entertainment industry today! She is of Indian-British origin, and as an Indian woman myself, I would love to talk to her about her journey and how she navigated the various pitfalls that come with being a woman of color, being ambitious, and being highly accomplished in this industry! She is creating her brand of content over at Netflix and is responsible for its global outreach and success. She has successfully achieved the balance of being independent without losing her cultural identity, and that fascinates me! Talking to her would be a dream come true!

How can our readers follow you online?

The readers can follow me on my IG page (www.instagram.com/lily_shaw_la) where I post all the latest developments in life and career! I’m also active on Medium and readers can follow me there as well! (https://medium.com/@lilyshaw3)

This was very meaningful, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!