Roxy Rusek Of Wanderess On How Simplifying & Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier
An Interview With Drew Gerber
Redo your space so that you have somewhere to go relax and be with your thoughts. Call it a “ME SPACE.” Create a ritual around this space where you can retreat to, where you can connect with yourself, where you can meditate and ask yourself — what is it that I really need? And connect to that. I guarantee it’s not the latest virtual reality goggles or a bag of new clothes.
We live in a time of great excess. We have access to fast fashion, fast food, and fast everything. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. How can we simplify and focus on what’s important? How can we let go of all the clutter and excess and find true happiness? In this interview series, we are talking to coaches, mental health experts, and authors who share insights, stories, and personal anecdotes about “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make Us Happier.” As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Roxy Rusek.
Roxy Rusek is a Lifestyle Design Coach, Energy Healer, Biofield Tuning Practitioner, and the CEO of www.wanderess.me — a lifestyle brand that prioritizes inner healing, spiritual growth, aesthetics, travel, and personal alchemy so that her clients can experience life to their fullest potential.
One of her many gifts is to alchemize spaces through interior design, home organization, energy clearing, decluttering, and transforming interiors and people’s lifestyles.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share your “backstory” with us? What was it that led you to your eventual career choice?
Yes of course. To put it simply, if my life was a short story, it would be that of the “Alchemist.” The Alchemist traveling the world deeply exploring the treasure and magic we all have within.
For years, I traveled, experienced the world, and “tried on” many career hats. I saw first-hand the primary role that energetics played on our well-being, spaces, and the external environment. Now, within my work, I incorporate my spiritual knowledge, intuitive gifts, and energy healing (Biofield Tuning, Reiki, Breathwork, & Meditations) as well as my diverse professional background (interior design, event planning, home organization, executive education and hospitality) to truly “alchemize” and “transform” my clients lives. Each program, offering, and session is designed to help them live their best Wanderess life — in their hearts, spaces, and faraway places.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?
For me, there isn’t really a starting moment. When I look back everything feels like a tapestry that got me to where I am today…feeling free, doing what I love, and helping people. It feels like I already have lived many lifetimes in my 38 years, and feel like there is still so much to come! I will however say that after the third round of quitting my job….I finally said NO MORE. So naturally for the last time, I quit yet another job that I was really good at but it wasn’t serving me — and I did what I always do. I bought a one-way ticket to Poland to see my family and then shortly after flew to Bali. A planned 3-week trip to Indonesia that turned into 4.5 months. It was there that I finally realized that I cannot keep making the same safe but unfulfilling career choices.
I also placed my focus on my inner healing — and started following the golden nuggets that keep presenting themselves to me — the random healing opportunities; the shaman who just happened to be disguised as a chef, the Reiki master who saw my gift and encouraged me to pursue a path of healing, the near-death experience I had, the breaking down of me — so that I could rise up and rebuild myself. This was when I dedicated myself and my life to healing and showing others the path to rediscovering themselves. Getting out from underneath the “pile of stuff.”
It was all a tapestry of those experiences (and many more) that led me to NOW.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes. I am currently working on enhancing my group program for women called “The Inner ARCHITECTress” which is a 12-week journey into the 360 of life. It’s about decluttering and redesigning your life in self, space, relationships, career, and wellness. This is about life redesign and decorating it the way that fuels you. Everything is nice in theory but there is usually so much to unpack as we go through pivoting in life. Things come up — our subconscious beliefs, patterns that may be keeping us stuck, and those past experiences that keep us thinking and doing the same things. I have created this program to be supportive through internal decluttering and emotional traumas. This will help women who are feeling lost, stagnant, or desiring change and a more fulfilling life. We go through the blind spots and identify the “renovation” areas. Then take a hammer to the things that are keeping them stuck. It’s an epic journey to the self, and it will change lives. I wish I had this when I needed it 10 years ago.
Can you share with our readers a bit about why you are an authority on the topic of “How Simplifying and Decluttering Your Life Can Make You Happier”?
I love spaces. I actually originally went to college for Interior Design. I spent my high school years watching a lot of home renovation shows and I’ve always had a knack for aesthetics and design. My career took me on a different path but “home stuff” has always been something I did. In recent years, especially during the pandemic era I have helped hundreds of clients get more comfortable at home. This time has really ignited home design and home organizing as people spent a lot more time in their spaces. People started to notice how they felt in their homes. Perhaps some discomforts started to surface, a need for more space, fewer things, more order, and organization, or a more homey ambiance. Each client I have worked with had similar needs…however in most cases, as I worked in their space, I realized there were deeper things going on.
Your home is an extension of you. Your clutter is an extension of you. I can tell what may be going on in people’s lives by looking at their space. As I worked with my clients I also saw how people would open up to me…Share their life’s problems — divorce, job loss, relationship failures, addictions, health problems, mental health challenges etc.
I’ve always been told that I provide a very welcoming, kind, and safe energy, and people just open. I’ve had clients break down and cry as we’re sitting in their closets sorting their things. I say that because we’re all human. We all want to be loved, we all want to experience “enoughness.” We all want to feel self-worth and fulfillment. So as I discovered this, my work with people took me on an even deeper dive….in “hearts, spaces, and faraway places.” For me, it’s never about the things you own. It’s about things not owning you and remembering that at the very core we all crave LOVE + CONNECTION — the most basic human emotional need.
Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the main focus of our interview. We live in a time of excess. We have access to so much. But studies show that all of our “stuff” is not making us any happier. Can you articulate for our readers a few reasons why all of our possessions are not giving us happiness?
I will quote a very brilliant man here in an interview from “60 minutes” in 1979. You may know of him…his name is Bob Marley ;)
Reporter: You made a lot of money out of your music?
Bob: Money? I mean, how much is a lot of money to you?
Reporter: That’s a good question. Have you made, say millions of dollars?
Bob: No.
Reporter: Are you a rich man?
Bob: What you mean rich, what ya mean?
Reporter: Do you have a lot of possessions? Lot of money in the bank?
Bob: Possession make you rich? I don’t have that type of richness. My richness is life, forever.
Stuff will never compensate for our inner riches. This has been proven over and over. Don’t get me wrong…It’s nice to have comforts, and opportunities, certain luxuries, and enjoy life and its bounty, but when we subconsciously look to possessions and things to compensate for unhappiness in other parts of our lives, this is a dead end.
Men…fancy car, shiny watch, and thick wallet will only get you so far if that’s what you lead with.
Women…fancy clothes, bags, and shoes will only get you so far if that’s what you lead with.
So what…is it ENOUGH?
Or will there always be a better, newer, shinier thing to buy? We live in a very pivotal era, where people are experiencing depression, addictions, relationships are failing, and we’re not feeling fulfilled. We can’t find that true connection. We have access to more yet we feel less connected.
This is social proof that the way we live has to change. Joy, worthiness, success, and fulfillment…does not lie with possessions. We are invited NOW more than ever to HEAL. To heal our own self-worth wounds, heal in how we show up, heal in relationships, and heal in awareness and consciousness. We don’t need possessions to impress. Have experiences instead. Remain open and curious. Learn. Travel. Give. Build. Grow. Be of service with your gifts. Listen to your heart and watch your energy when you truly light up.
You can absolutely be of service and reap abundant rewards, and the lesson is to not let them control you, and utilize them wisely.
On a broader societal level, how do you think this excessiveness may be harming our communities and society?
I recently saw a clip on social media of clothing landfills. It was absolutely horrid. More consumption means we’re producing more trash and a higher carbon footprint. We don’t consider the connection of our own consumption to the earth experiencing turmoil in the form of climate change; drought, fires, tsunamis, floods, changes in weather patterns, and air pollution. Our consumption contributes to these but it’s so far from our mind. Most people think….I’m just one person…my Target runs don’t contribute to all of this. Guess again…
We live in such a “disposable” culture…paper plates, plastic, clothes, and relationships. All disposable. Things are cheap, made to be cheap, so we consume more. That’s the business. We don’t “care for things” because we have access to a lot of excess. Infrastructure and cultural norms are part of the problem as well.
I know this may be a conceptual stretch but the disposable mentality has also trickled down to how we are in relationships. We window “shop” for partners on apps and have disposable relationships because we can always find more at our fingertips. This is a deeper conversation here but without a doubt, there is a connection.
Ultimately reducing consumption of “things” is huge, not only for the environment but for our mental well-being. We don’t need more things…we need more connection, nature, trees, gardens, permaculture, sustainability. When we realize we have paradise at our fingertips and it’s dying because we’re trashing it more — when we realize natural resources are gone then it’s too late. There is a Cree Indian Proverb attributed to Chief Seattle (c.1786–1866) — “When the last tree is cut down, the last fish eaten and the last stream poisoned, you will realize that you cannot eat money.” This is the time to heal and evolve as humanity and become conscious and sustainable in how we connect and consume.
The irony of struggling with happiness in modern times is glaring. In many places in the world today, we have more than ever before in history. Yet despite this, so many people are unhappy. Why is simplifying a solution? How would simplifying help people to access happiness?
I love this point. You have just validated the fact that things don’t bring ultimate joy. There are things that bring us short-term dopamine hits. We experience it when we buy things…right. You see the shiny new thing in the store or the latest gadget and we want it thinking we needed it and it’s going to make us happy. Notice how long that lasts.
Do you want a simplifying solution?…. Simplifying creates less distraction from what’s really important.
Instead, reconnect yourself, in your relationships, with nature, have experiences, and expand your mind and energy.
My “mom friends” may give me the side eye for this…Instead of buying kids toys, take them outside, go on a hike…there are so many curiosities in nature…this is also a great “reconnecting” opportunity for the adults. To get in balance with nature, connect with your kids, and your own inner child.
Think about it. We are majorly stimulating kids from an early age by giving them all the toys, the sounds, the colors, the gadgets, and the screens. At an early age, we form the need to be constantly stimulated and we wonder where these addictions to the new shiny objects come from.
Not to sound old….I can’t believe I’m saying this, “back in my youth” I grew up being outdoors a lot…I climbed trees, played in the dirt, went for walks in the forest, my chores included taking care of the garden. I made model houses out of small cardboard boxes…Yes, I had Barbies and Trolls too but never lost that connection to nature. Nature has a healing frequency. Screen time and other “stimulants” disrupt that frequency.
As adults….it is imperative we become aware of our purchasing habits of those innocent Target runs, SALE impulses, and quick & easy online purchases. We are constantly fed information that we need things….turn off the TV, and put down your phone. It is all designed to condition you to want things, and to have them at your fingertips. I took a class in grad school “Economics of Buying” and have had conversations with experts about purchasing. Everything is designed so that you want to buy, so that you feel like you’re in, you belong, or that you’re better.
Instead of things invest in yourself and your self-care, quality of time with your family. Making time to connect, to heal, to learn, to get back to the foundation of life. Buying MORE things will only put you under a pile of stuff, eventually energetically suffocating you. In this case, less is definitely more.
Can you share some insights from your own experience? Where in your life have you transformed yourself from not having enough to finally experiencing enough? For example, many people feel they don’t have enough money. Yet, people define abundance differently, and often, those with the least money can feel the most abundant. Where in your health, wealth, or relationships have you transformed your life?
Enough is a state of being, a frequency, not a reflection of what we actually have. Ultimately its freedom.
In quantum physics and the spiritual & energetic concept of abundance, we create through energy first and foremost. When we focus on the energy of having enough and give gratitude for it, we feel we have enough. This creates this “feel good” frequency. The more we are in tune with that frequency, the more we feel abundant, and the more we attract and become magnetic to the things we desire.
Whenever I work toward things I desire, I now work on my energy first. Our annoyance and a perpetual feeling of lack, worry, or not having ENOUGH, is exactly the thing that blocks us from receiving. It’s kind of paradoxical but that’s how it works. I know that’s a tough one but the more we free ourselves from that dense worry energy the more we create and attract.
Mastering abundance takes time and practice. Ultimately asking yourself “What is the feeling of that abundance? For me, it’s always been freedom. Freedom to travel, to experience, to try different things. To be in nature, to work when I want to on my own terms. To have fulfilling relationships. To FEEL good. To always have enough to spend on what I want. To have a bit of excess to share.
Now, whenever I spend money on something big…I say “Thank you for providing me with the energy to invest in what I desire and need.” Something along those lines. If it’s a brunch or cup of coffee, I send a little blessing as well. You can find the “ENOUGHNESS” in everything. So I start there — in gratitude for what I already have.
People, places, and things shape our lives. For example, your friends generate conversations that influence you. Where you live impacts what you eat and how you spend your time. The “things” in your life, like phones, technology, or books impact your recreation. Can you tell us a little about how people, places, and things in your own life impact your experience of “experiencing enough?”
People, places, and things shape our lives. YES 100 %! So we all need to be taking an energetic inventory of what fuels us and what drains us. What’s a quick fix and what is an investment in better quality of life? I invite everyone to DECLUTTER their life….NOW. You always have to start somewhere. If your conversations aren’t fueling you…you’re always talking about the same $hit. Expand….travel…talk to people you don’t usually talk to.
In my life, my own experiences have provided me so much wealth. My travel, the people I’ve met, my own growth..all riches you can’t put a price on.
I grew up in post-communist Poland. We didn’t have a lot, but we were always comfortable. We always had what we needed. There was always enough for us to have a good time, to road trip, and travel. We didn’t go out to eat. We cooked, and packed road sandwiches but we always went places. That was always something I treasured and still do. That lifestyle has shaped who I am today and gave me insight, perspective, grit, and resilience, to name a few. We become rich in soul through our experiences not possessions.
What advice would you give to younger people about “experiencing enough?”
ENOUGH is a mindset — a state of energetic frequency that is created inside of us….we can live in an imprisoned belief system that something is never enough and always see a carrot dangling in front of us….whether that’s with money, relationships, things, and essentially it all boils down to our own beliefs about being ENOUGH.
My advice to anyone, especially younger people who are stepping into leading the future generations. Find that ENOUGH in your relationship with yourself and generate that feeling from your own internal battery. External validation can only get you so far.
So how do we do that you ask?
Meditate, heal your scars, forgive, give gratitude, love unconditionally, declutter your life, invest in your own expansion, invest in healing, invest in being in nature, make time and space to connect with your emotions and your loved ones, invest in doing something every day that makes you a better person, figure out a way to be of service to others and do it so that it fuels your heart. What you get back from that is unparalleled to the quick dopamine hit of having the next best thing.
This is the main question of our interview. Based on your experience and research, can you share your “five ways we can simplify and declutter our lives to make us happier?”
Of course! As I mentioned all along… decluttering is an inner process (if not more) just as much as it’s an exterior process.
So here are my 5 ways that you can SIMPLIFY + DECLUTTER to live more HAPPILY:
1 . Make space in your physical space. I always say, declutter to make space for the new….I’m not talking about new things that you can purchase to clutter and distract your life again. I’m talking about new energy…space for creativity, space for a new relationship, space for change, space for new routines and rituals, space for YOU to grow, SPACE for you to call in what you desire. So clear your closet, clean your garage, clear your papers, and clean your inner clutter…your mind, your worries, your triggers, your beliefs…it’s always been about the inner process.
2 . This goes with number 1- organize yourself — this will allow you to take inventory of everything you really have. And you will find multiples of things you own. You will find things you no longer love or wear. Sell things, gift them to someone who needs them, or post them on social media for free. Let them bring joy to someone else. When you release them, send them off with gratitude.
“Thank you for the time we had together, I wish that you bring joy to the new owner.”
3. Instead of giving into that impulse shopping run — take a moment, and ask yourself — do I need this in my life? What is the underlying feeling? Is it boredom? Is it you not feeling enough? Is it a feeling that you NEED something? What is it? No, really, what is it that you need? Instead, go for a walk, or workout, meditate, or better yet — go shopping in your house. See what you can use, clean, or purge.
4. Redo your space so that you have somewhere to go relax and be with your thoughts. Call it a “ME SPACE.” Create a ritual around this space where you can retreat to, where you can connect with yourself, where you can meditate and ask yourself — what is it that I really need? And connect to that. I guarantee it’s not the latest virtual reality goggles or a bag of new clothes.
5. Normalize minimalism, normalize wearing the same outfit to events, normalize borrowing clothes, normalize sharing. How many dresses have you worn to multiple functions? Share tools and gadgets with your community and neighbors. There is no shame in the game. Remember, who and why are you trying to impress?
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)
I’ve always had this dream of redistributing things people don’t want or need to those in need. Over the last couple of years, the thrift shop movement has multiplied. More stores have opened. I remember some stores were even refusing to accept donations because they were full. It would be amazing to give access and mass-ship these donations to countries with limited access to goods. When I see how much people have, then get rid of, and how much gets donated, I think to myself — this would equip thousands of families with home goods — people I have seen firsthand who don’t even have a kitchen. After traveling to many places in Africa, Thailand, Cambodia, and a few others I understood the deeper concept of ENOUGHNESS.
These days it is “cheaper” to trash things rather than redistribute. If we solve that problem, we have a winning idea! If you have the infrastructure and the funds — call me we’ll make it happen!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Yes, I can be found on the gram @i.am.wanderess or I invite you to check out www.wanderess.me to learn more about Wanderess and the work I do.
Thank you so much for these insights. This was so inspiring, and so important!
