Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Chris Rabanera Of The Base EQ On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Move your body and get the blood flowing. I recommend going for 10 minute walks after every meal or 3 times per day. Do any physical activity that gets you moving and that you enjoy for 30 minutes daily.

Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Chris Rabanera.

Chris Rabanera is an LMFT who provides online therapy in California, Michigan, and Nevada. He specializes in working with high performers such as physicians, lawyers, business owners, management, and the tech industry. He offers services for physician burnout, anxiety treatment, depression treatment, individuals with relationship problems, imposter syndrome, grief counseling and therapy for men.

Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?

When I was a kid, I always had this calling to help people. I was in the cub scouts and boy scouts. I volunteered. I knew that there had to be a way for me to continue to help people when I got older. When I was in high school, I recognized one of my gifts was being able to connect with people. I had an influential teacher who happened to be a psychotherapist. That’s what opened me to the idea of how I can help people and made me want to be a therapist. In college, I double majored in psychology and sociology at UCLA. I continued my education and earned my Masters degree and became fully licensed a few years later. I opened my private practice specializing in high-achievers because those are my people. My group of friends consists of lawyers, physicians, business owners, directors, managers, dentists, pharmacists, and foreign service officers. I experience and understand the struggles of being a high-achiever. I want people to learn a baseline emotional intelligence to live a life they are excited to live.

What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?

As I talked about previously, I get fulfillment out of helping people. One of the most satisfying feelings in the world is experiencing a client “click” or mindset shift that causes their life to change forever. I get the opportunity to witness clients challenge themselves, grow, and become the person they want to be, on a daily basis. I am honored to have this privilege and opportunity to share these moments with my clients. I get excited each day I get to do therapy.

Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?

One story that I share often is when I was a junior in high school. I was the only junior in my high school to be in this advanced placement class. The class was extremely difficult for many, including me. In terms of class ranking, I was right in the middle. That doesn’t say much when half the class is getting C-’s or worse.

About a few months before the advanced placement test, the teacher pulled me aside. She said that she doesn’t know why I’m in the class, that I’m not good enough to be there, and she doesn’t have any hope for me to pass the test. I walked away from that conversation dazed. I didn’t know what just happened. I thought teachers were supposed to be supportive. Here is a teacher that is telling me that I’m not good enough and that I’m not going to pass the placement test.

I went to work and studied my tail off. When the test came, I was ready. I earned a qualifying score. My teacher was very surprised. The valuable lesson I learned was there are many people who will not believe in you. There are haters everywhere and very few who will truly support you in your goals. You need to believe in yourself and make things happen in life. You have to have faith that you’ll be prepared for moments in life when you need to step up.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

-One character trait that is instrumental to my success is my empathy. My ability to empathize with people is essential to my success because my empathy helps with my ability to connect with others. My career is about connecting with others so they are able to help themselves. Without empathy, I am nothing.

-Another character trait instrumental to my success is my ability to set boundaries. I have clear boundaries about what I will and will not do. I have clear boundaries with my personal relationships, as well as my professional relationships. For many people, their ability to set clear boundaries is limited. They are not able to say no to the many different opportunities available to them so they have difficulty being able to focus their time and energy into a single task.

-Lastly, my ability to listen and hear what people are saying has helped me become a successful leader. Listening is a real skill and takes time and energy to cultivate. Every person can tell someone what to do. Not every person can hear what a person is saying though. To lead, you really need to have the skillset to listen.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?

The most interesting project I have in the works is a course on mental health for brand new attending physicians. This course will help new attending physicians, (these are physicians who have completed their training) adjust to becoming an attending physician as well as learn to be a human again. After years of training, hardship and trauma, attending physicians need to process their issues to feel like themselves again. No one teaches these physicians how to do that. With this work, I think the care that physicians give to their patients will be significantly improved. When physicians are able to take better care of themselves, it shows in their work. Healthcare as a whole can improve.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?

I am passionate about mental well-being because it is an ignored aspect of health. Mental well-being is as important as physical well-being. Society has created a divide between mental and physical well-being when in reality, they are interconnected. You cannot have one without the other. Society has made mental well-being secondary in terms of health and is put on the back burner. Without mental well-being, your physical health means nothing. People need to start to focus on their mental well-being. I am an advocate for health and I want mental well-being to be included in that conversation.

Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?

When I’m working with my clients, many who are in the healthcare industry, I always talk about self-care. In the healthcare industry, healthcare workers are pouring their hearts and souls into their patients. The burnout in the industry is skyrocketing. Many clients have nothing left to give to their patients. How can these professionals give something that they do not have? You cannot pour from an empty vessel. When people perform self-care, they are able to fill themselves up and give to others. Without it, they are nothing but an empty vessel.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?

1. Get the necessary amount of sleep that your body needs. This is somewhere between 7 to 9 hours of sleep. Each person is unique and has different needs.
2. Stay connected to your social circle. Talk with your friends and family on a regular basis. This could mean a short phone call on the way home from work, texting throughout the day, or a quick visit with your friends.
3. Move your body and get the blood flowing. I recommend going for 10 minute walks after every meal or 3 times per day. Do any physical activity that gets you moving and that you enjoy for 30 minutes daily.
4. Do at least 1 activity per day that brings you joy. This could be reading a book, watching a movie, or baking bread or cookies. Any activity that you enjoy and brings a smile to your face is an activity that you want to do.
5. Journal. I recommend people journal 10 minutes per day, every day. This helps clear the mind and helps people process information and emotions they experience throughout the day.

Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?

One roadblock that I hear on a regular basis is that they do not have time for their self-care. I would challenge them and say that they do not have time, not to practice self-care. I would also ask them to look at their overall priorities in life. Once people look at their priorities, many will recognize that they are burning themselves out without making time for self-care.

Another roadblock is that they do not know how to start. I always recommend people to start in small bites. I can speak directly to this concerning my above recommendations. With sleep, I’ll have people start to learn and implement one improvement for their sleep hygiene. With social connections, I’ll have them reach out to their best friend sometime during the week. For movement, I’ll have people walk to the end of their driveway and back. Small wins add up over time and build confidence. When a client is confident, they are able to make the next steps needed to hit their goals of self care.

In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?

Why don’t you prioritize your mental-well being as much as you prioritize your physical well-being?

Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?

My favorite quote is Theodore Roosevelt’s “The Man in the Arena.”

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

This quote resonates with me because there is so much noise, as well as haters, in the world and their view does not matter. People often forget that those that are doing are those that make a difference, not those that point out mistakes and how people have failed. What I do counts. What I do matters. What I do is often better than those that have never attempted.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

I would love to have a private breakfast with Barack and Michelle Obama. He is the 44th president of the United States of America and his wife was the first lady of the United States of America. They seem like people who are down to earth and would have great insight into raising children in today’s society. They are both ahead of their time and I’d love to shoot the breeze with them.

I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?

Readers can reach out to me on my website at TheBaseEQ.com. I’m on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and Twitter under TheBaseEQ. They can always send me an email at Chris@TheBaseEQ.com.

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.