Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Melissa Maxx On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Find time to do something you love to do and do it! -We need to nurture ourselves and do more of the things that bring us peace and joy. Whether it be spending time in nature, playing with animals, painting, singing, dancing, reading. Do it, and do it often!

Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Melissa Maxx.

Melissa Maxx is a Certified Mindfulness Coach/Life Coach and Author of the book, “Mindfulness for People Who Suck at Being Mindful”. She specializes in helping women 40+ who struggle as the result of childhood emotional neglect. Her focus with her clients and through her blog: amaxximizedlife.com is self-empowerment through challenging limiting beliefs, changing self-talk, healing the inner child and setting new boundaries and goals.

Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?

I worked in in broadcasting as a radio and TV host for 20 years. I was always fascinated by the human condition however, and was constantly studying personal growth, mindfulness, the mind-body connection and psychology. After suffering from burnout and being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, I knew it was time to make a big life change. I left my home in Los Angeles and my broadcasting career and moved to Florida to be by family. As I healed myself, a transition to helping others as a coach came naturally.

What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?

I truly believe that we are more powerful than we were led to think. Humans are amazing, resilient creatures. We have so much potential for growth, but sometimes we get in our own way. If we can discover and heal the “whys and whats” that are holding us back, we can challenge our blocks and overcome them. Once I started discovering this for myself, it became crucial for me to share what I learned in order to help others.

Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?

I don’t like to use the words “mistake” or “failure”. The words we use frame and form our experience. That is very powerful stuff. I choose to look at “mis-steps” (see what I did there?) as lessons. Everything we go through, regardless of outcome, is educational and part of our growth process.

Ironically, (or not) learning this was one of the most valuable lessons for me!

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. Determination-I speak about determination a lot. It is perhaps THE most instrumental ingredient for success. The determination to keep going is key. Not necessarily the determination o be successful, but the determination to KEEP GOING, no matter what. If you keep going, you WILL eventually be successful. I was very determined in my broadcasting career, and I am very determined in my coaching career. Setbacks are just that, setbacks, not roadblocks. Keep that in mind, pivot and adjust when needed and KEEP GOING!
2. Resilience-Resilience ties into determination. You need to be resilient to bounce back when you are told no, or when obstacles show up. In both of my lines of work, I have heard the word “no” far more than the word “yes”. Each time I would falter, allow myself to feel what I was feeling, challenge the voice in my head that said “you are not good enough, just quit, this will never work out”, lick my wounds, stand up, and yes, KEEP GOING anyway!
3. Belief- Belief along with determination and resilience are the “trifecta of success”. First and foremost, you need to believe in yourself, believe not only that you can succeed, but that you can and WILL handle whatever comes your way. You also need to believe in WHAT you are doing and WHY you are doing it. The times I have been unsuccessful are the times that I LET myself be unsuccessful because I let go of my beliefs.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?

The new year has started off with a number of exciting projects! I’ve got a course called “5 Weeks to Mindfulness for People Who Suck at Being Mindful” available on Udemy. My latest book, “The Childhood Emotional Neglect Journal, for People Whose Parents Sucked at Meeting Their Emotional Needs” is available on Amazon.

My TikTok Channel (@amaxximizedlife) is growing in meaningful ways as a forum for people who struggle as a result of childhood emotional neglect to come together, share and heal.

Last but not least, I am combining my love of broadcasting with my love of coaching and will be hosting a show on “The Life Coach Network” for PTWWN TV starting next month!

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?

Self-care and self-love go hand and hand, and are vital for contentment and happiness. Loving and caring for ourselves are the building blocks for our lives. Without this foundation, we may have “successes” in certain areas, but we will never achieve our ultimate goal, which should be a attaining a feeling of inner peace.

Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?

We are a perfectly designed ecosystem. Our mind and body are inextricably linked. If we neglect one, the other will suffer, this is undeniable. Self-care is making the care of self a priority. As a by-product of this, you will find that other areas of your life begin to blossom and bloom as well.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?

1. Challenge your inner critic: We are brutally unkind to ourselves, and we don’t even realize it. Our inner voice is constantly criticizing us, berating us and instilling fear. The problem is we generally BELIEVE that voice, and we don’t have to. That inner voice is not that of our true self. It is the voice of our ego, which was designed to instill fear and doubt in order to keep itself alive. Once we start quieting that voice, we can start hearing our REAL voice, that of our authentic self, which is free of fear.
2. Relaxation Techniques (breathwork, meditation)-a great way to start quieting that voice, which is anxiety inducing is by practicing some kind of breathwork. The idea is to take the focus off your thoughts, and instead, focus on something constant and calming, like your breath. There are all types of breathwork that are accessible to everybody, from in person group classes, to online group classes to instructional videos to be done on your own.
3. Exercise-As I stated earlier, the mind and body are so connected. If you neglect one , the other will falter. Our thoughts cause emotions which then cause physical reactions in our body. Our body, in turn, creates a cascade effect on the systems and processes of our body. All sorts of hormonal changes take place which can either serve to build us up or break us down. Exercise is great for building strength and endurance, for practicing mindfulness when we are “in the zone” and for counteracting stress hormones our body creates, by releasing,, for lack of a better word, “good hormones”.
4. Find time to do something you love to do and do it! -We need to nurture ourselves and do more of the things that bring us peace and joy. Whether it be spending time in nature, playing with animals, painting, singing, dancing, reading. Do it, and do it often!
5. Be mindful of what you eat- Food should not be just something to satiate our hunger. We need to remember that food should be fuel. That old saying “you are what you eat” has merit. Put junk in, you will get junk out. I’m not saying never indulge in yummy stuff, I AM saying be more mindful of the choices you are making and how they will impact all aspects of you. If you drink that caffeine, how will you sleep? If you don’t sleep well how will you feel? If you don’t feel well, how will you act? If you don’t act optimally how will that effect your work, family and relationships?

Self-care is realizing that all of our choices have consequences. The good news is we GET TO CHOOSE! When you look at it this way it becomes very empowering!

Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?

The absolute biggest road block we have to success in any new undertaking is our self-talk which stems from our limiting beliefs about ourselves. First, we need to start paying attention to the things that we say to ourselves about ourselves (we aren’t very nice). We then must dig deeper to figure out where these messages came from. Only THEN, can we challenge them and start building up enough self-love to actually care for ourselves, mind, body and spirit.

In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?

You are worthy and you deserve to take care of yourself!

Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?

“You are loved just for being who you are, just for existing. You don’t have to do anything to earn it. Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success — none of that matters. No one can take this love away from you, and it will always be here.” -Ram Dass

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

I figure if I say this enough maybe I will manifest it into being! Oprah. Oprah, Oprah, Oprah! First ,I would stare at her awkwardly and uncomfortably. After that (if she doesn’t take out a restraining order) I would find my voice, thank her for all that she has done and all that she is doing, and pick her brain. YES, I WOULD interview the interviewer.

I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?

My blog: https://www.amaxximizedlife.com/

My website: https://www.mindfulnesscoachmelissamaxx.com

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amaxximizedlife

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.