Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Odile McKenzie Of Odile Psychotherapy Service On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Find, nurture, and develop mutually safe relationships. Loneliness can manifest in anger, depression, and anxiety. It can affect our immune system and decrease life expectancy. So, nurture your relationship and find friends and family that are supportive and provide reciprocity. Emotionally unsafe relationships can cause more harm than good so choose your community and family wisely.

Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Odile McKenzie, LCSW.

Odile McKenzie is a Licence Clinical Social Worker. She is the founder and Clinical Director of Odile Psychotherapy Service. Odile uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Polevagal, Somatic, and Attachment Therapy to help people find safety in their relationships with themselves, others, and the world.

Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?

I identify as Afro-Caribbean, from St. Lucia. I moved to the US in 2001. The move to the US was mixed with trauma and liberation. I was liberated from a future of likely working in the tourism industry, but I was also confronted with my perceived inferiority because of the color of my skin. The US opened my eyes to injustices, colonization, and anti-blackness and for the first time, I began to question things.

In high school, my dream was to own a spa. So I set out to do that in college only to discover that I did not enjoy some of the classes. Reflecting back I realize that although my major shifted I remain on the same path; providing a space for people to heal.

What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?

I wanted to be a therapist and start my pratice to give back to my community. I am a survivor of relational trauma and unconsciously I was searching for answers to heal. I found the answers in therapy and my therapist offered me the best gift, an opportunity to reparent and heal in a safe space. I wanted to offer that gift to other people of Color. We are more at risk for racial, relationship, and other traumas because of the unsafe relationship White Supremacy has with us.

I launched my practice in the middle of the pandemic and during the social and civil unrest because I wanted to do my part. I wanted to use my skills to heal my people and all people who feel disenfranchised. The mission and vision for my practice is for everyone to see themselves in the therapists, so they can heal in a safe space with someone who looks like them.

Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?

I had many, many, many dating failures. I was great at dating but struggled to find the “right” person to be with. I had to do A LOT of work on myself to understand what I needed and wanted in a relationship so I wasn’t coming to these answers from a place of trauma.

My struggle in dating has created a passion and desire to help people heal relational trauma so they can date better and find love.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. I model in meeting what it means to create a safe space for clients. So I create an environment where staff is able to share their weaknesses and vulnerabilities, and together we create a plan to address them. I share my struggles with impostorism and falling behind on administrative work so they know that I struggle with some of the same things. I don’t want anyone hiding mistakes or believing that they need to be perfect in order to be accepted at the practice.
2. I lead from compassion and empathy because I want the staff to extend it to the clients. I recently had to discuss and create a Performance Improvement Plan with a staff. I was able to highlight her strengths and how she can use them to improve.
3. My staff knows that I am reliable because I show up to meetings and work when I am supposed to be there and I follow through on things that are asked of me. Since we work with clients, they know how to contact me for emergencies and non-emergencies and have been using them appropriately. For administrative issues, I will get emails.

However, when a client is in crisis and the therapist need support, I will get a text requesting a call. They are usually surprised by my quick response time because it sometimes happens on the weekend or after 5 pm. I believe a leader is supposed to show up and demonstrate that they can be relied upon.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?

I’m currently working on offering more support groups so people can heal in community. It is especially important for people of Color to heal in the community because most of our traumas happen in community/relationships. So for the new year are launching and relaunching three groups:

1. Stress, Anxiety, and Self-Doubt support group.
2. Miss Movin’On. It is a support group for single women to learn more about themselves and the patterns they engage in when dating. To help them better understand their nervous system; when it gets dysregulated and what it needs to feel safe.
3. Come Home To You. It’s a 4-week support group focusing on helping people identify and begin a self-love practice.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?

I’m passionate about well-being because if we are not well we cannot have safe relationships with ourselves, others, things, and the world. We suffer, and our friends and family suffer if we don’t prioritize our mental well-being. More people are completing suicide through gun violence than mass shootings. So neglecting our mental health can be fatal.

Our mental well-being doesn’t just affect us mentally but it also affects our physical health. We know that chronic stress, anxiety, and trauma can lead to inflammation, autoimmune diseases, cardiovascular issues, and hypertension to name a few. Our bodies are sending signals to our brains so it’s important that we care for both the body and mind.

Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?

Self-care is an affirmative and self-love practice. When we engage in that practice we are caring for both our bodies and mind which in turn improves our well-being. Early experiences and sometimes the world teaches and reward us for severely neglecting ourselves for productivity and/or motherhood. When we engage in self-care we remind ourselves that we matter and we are deserving of care and love too. A self-care practice is also important for people who are co-dependent, people-pleasers, or people who suffer from anxiety, depression or have a history of trauma. Self-care helps reduce stress, burnout, and other chronic mental and physical diseases.

When we engage in self-care we are also discovering what feels safe and soothing to our nervous system. Understanding what feels safe and soothing for us helps us get to a place of connection and safety in our nervous system. When we are in a place of safety we can connect better to ourselves and others.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?

Self-care does not mean consumerism. Buying that face musk is cute but it’s not going to make any lasting change if that’s not what you truly need. For self-care to be truly effective you need to find something that you can do consistently and won’t cost you more than you can afford.

I think it’s important to remind people of the different ways they can take care of themselves without spending money and engaging in time-consuming activities.

1. Practice setting and honoring your boundaries. You cannot begin or sustain a self-care pratice without setting boundaries at work or with your family. If you notice that you are becoming frustrated with yourself, work, friends, or family it’s time to set some boundaries. Setting boundaries is a great way to help you assert your needs and remind yourself and others that your needs matter. Boundaries are not designed to end relationships but to maintain them. People don’t want to be mean so they avoid setting boundaries at the expense of their mental health. They would rather carry the resentment and frustration and internal turmoil. You can liberate yourself by having a compassionate conversation, with yourself first, so you can express to the other person what you need from them to keep the relationship intact.
2. Develop a compassionate and loving relationship with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is the longest and most important one. Use your journal/notebook to track your thoughts and practice speaking to yourself like a best friend. Practice speaking out loud to your best friend the same way you would yourself, if you can’t do it, then you shouldn’t be saying it to yourself. Try to use comparisons as inspiration and not as a way to shame or criticize yourself. Your thought influences your mood, behaviors, and bodily sensations. Be your best friend and that will help improve your mood and life

satisfaction. Affirmations, when done correctly, can help you embody a loving relationship with yourself.

3. Move your body regularly. As I have said before, the mind and body are connected and influence each other. You don’t have to go the gym if that’s not your thing, but find something you enjoy and do it regularly. You can take short walks, dance, run, rock, stretch, or develop a yoga pratice. You can soothe your nervous system with movement and bring your mind and body back to a place of safety and connectedness.

4. Find, nurture, and develop mutually safe relationships. Loneliness can manifest in anger, depression, and anxiety. It can affect our immune system and decrease life expectancy. So, nurture your relationship and find friends and family that are supportive and provide reciprocity. Emotionally unsafe relationships can cause more harm than good so choose your community and family wisely.

5. Rest. I cannot stress enough how important rest is for our body and mind. Your brain and body need restoration. Not enough sleep can cause you to make poor food choices, decrease alertness, stress, and more serious issues. Develop good sleep hygiene and prioritize getting to bed on time. If you have trouble sleeping explore and address the underlying issues. If you have a newborn talk to your partner or village about how they can help.

Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?

Some of the top reason I hear for not making better self-care choices is time, money, and not knowing how. If time is an issue put something on your calendar at a frequency you can sustain. If money is an issue, refer to my suggestions and explore other things you can do for free.

Self-care is not about spending money but honoring and caring for your needs. If you don’t know where to start, give yourself permission to explore and try new things. , A great question to ask yourself is, what is something I need that I’m not getting enough of? Once you know the answer figure out how to give yourself that thing.

In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?

If you don’t prioritize your mental well-being your body will do it for you.

Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?

Do it scared. When I was thinking about starting my practice the guy I was dating told me to start even though I was scared. He was a successful entrepreneur and made it look easy, but he said to me that he gets scared too. I have taken that and applied it to not only my business but my

well-being. When I am unlearning patterns and trying new things, I will get scared but I use it as an opportunity to check in with myself and a reminder that this is not a signal to stop.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

Hands down, Lady O. Oprah helped me find my way back to spirituality through her podcast SuperSoul. She is also part of my compassionate committee(in my head) and I turn to her wisdom and guidance when I struggle to extend compassion to myself.

I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?

WWW. odilepsychotherapyservice.com

IG: O_therapyandcoaching and Odilemckenzie_lcsw

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.