Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Psychotherapist Angel Minuto On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness

An Interview With Maria Angelova

Meditation. It does not have to be for an extended period of time. You do not have to meditate for an hour a day to feel the benefits. Even 5 minutes a day is helpful. I’m a big fan of guided meditations or binaural beats, as they hold my attention. If you feel like meditation is difficult for you, try them out.

Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Angel Minuto LCSW.

Angel Minuto LCSW is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Certified Clini-Coach® in Buffalo, NY. She is passionate about empowering women to break the cycle of self-sabotage, building their full worth from within, and manifesting the lives they have always wanted.

Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?.

I am so happy to be doing this interview! Thank you for this opportunity. I often say that I have had many lives within this lifetime. I came to this point in my life a little late and it wasn’t a linear path. However, I wanted to be a therapist from a young age. I was always fascinated by the inner workings of the mind. Why we do what we do. How we can be mentally healthy. As a teenager, I remember reading not only self-help books but books on astrology and horoscopes. I was trying to figure out what makes not only me tick, but others too. I grew up in a small city halfway between Buffalo and Rochester NY. I did not feel like I quite fit in. I had different thoughts, opinions, and views that were commonly represented in this small city. Looking back, I think I really was just trying to figure me out. I knew I wanted something different. Something that was more in alignment with my values and worldviews. Because I didn’t feel like I was getting that in this small city.

After high school graduation, I moved to Buffalo NY. And life happened. I worked various jobs while attending college part time. For many years, I was in and out of college, and on different degrees, writing, interior design, psychology. I had my daughter, Karma, at 23, and got married. During my first marriage I was drinking a lot to cope with the pressures I put on myself. I lost a sense of myself, who I was as a person. I also lost my mother to cancer during this time. In 2009, I reached a pivotal point in my life where I began to reevaluate my life. After this, I pursued college full time, got sober, and then went on to obtain my master’s degree in Social Work at the University at Buffalo. This is where I found “my people”. The experience I had in grad school changed my life. The professors and my fellow classmates were incredibly supportive and wonderful. I found friends there that are still constants in my life today. After grad school I worked as a counselor in addictions for a few years, then at an outpatient mental health clinic. I obtained my clinical license giving me the liberty to go off on my own in private practice with trauma therapy for women being my primary focus. I also got remarried to an amazing guy two years ago. He is very supportive of me and my goals and ambitions. And it’s reciprocal. It’s been wonderful. This past year I have also been pivoting career-wise towards coaching, which involves using my skills as a therapist and my love for more intuitive things, I have been developing a program to mesh these things together to help women build self-worth through working with the internal parts of them that sabotage with perfectionism, people pleasing, harsh inner critic. The ultimate goal is for women to manifest the life they always wanted.

What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?

Growing up, I had so many personal experiences growing up with bullying, harassment, and so forth, that all caused me to have poor self-image, insecurities, and low self-worth. I don’t want any other girl or woman to have to feel the way I did. Adding to this, I have a daughter. She is my biggest “why”. I can’t fathom my daughter or other girls and women feeling like they aren’t good enough or worthy. I want women and girls to be able to accept themselves for how they show up in the world. Once they learn how to do that, then they will start to see how all of this impacts their hopes, dreams, and goals.

We are our own worst enemy. I know I was. That is until I did the work. And now I want to help others do this work too. I have made it my mission to empower women to change how they see themselves despite what has happened in the past. To accept and love themselves-all-parts of themselves and to love themselves. What fuels me is seeing the changes, the shifts in the women I work with. That moment when it all comes together. It’s as if they have become the person they were always meant to be. It’s amazing!

Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?

A big mistake I made was allowing my limiting beliefs to dictate my life. As long as I could remember, for example, I was told that I was horrible at math. From a young age I carried this belief everywhere I went like it was a heavy bag strapped to me. I did very poorly in math classes because of this belief. I barely tried, and if I did, I was quickly discouraged by my teachers, my parents and myself. Feeling discouraged only strengthened this belief that I was bad at math and would fail. It kept me from fully pursuing a college degree for years. Although I went to college on and off part time, I knew I would have to take a math class to get a degree.

That fear of math kept me paralyzed for years. It wasn’t until I started working on myself that I had to face it. I knew I had goals and, in order to succeed, I needed to push through this fear, this limiting belief I was horrible at math, to succeed. And I did! I took the class, and I didn’t do bad. I actually did pretty good. That is when I learned that I needed to reassess all of my beliefs. I asked myself, where did this belief come from? Is this belief valid? How can I work through this belief, so that it doesn’t keep me from my goals?

Allowing others and these limiting beliefs about myself, and not having the ability to question those beliefs, due to many of the beliefs forming at a young age, cost me years of not pursuing my dreams and goals. So now whenever I start to feel fear, I take some time to question it. I don’t blindly believe it. I still make mistakes and I still fail. But I try. This is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned. I don’t take my mistakes and failures personally. Instead, I have learned how to better problem solve, trouble shoot, and ask for help. We must try to see if we can succeed. If we don’t try, how will we know?

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Great question! If I had to choose, I would say that the three most instrumental character traits to my success are risk taking, intuitiveness, and integrity. They all complement, and play off one another. I feel that when I am centered and grounded in the present moment, I am most aligned with my intuitiveness. Therefore, I am more apt to listen to my gut when needing to make decisions and take risks. For example, during the pandemic I was working from home, my partner was working as a nurse at a hospital, and my daughter came home while attending college remotely. All three of us were in a two-bedroom apartment. My daughter and I were in the bedrooms working/attending classes, and my partner had to sleep on the couch after long shifts at the hospital. Although it was a lovely apartment and we adored everything about it, it became difficult to live and work there during the pandemic. One day I was online and had an intuitive hit to click an internet link to a house nearby. We weren’t looking to buy a house and the property emails I was receiving were often for houses in California. At the time we thought we would eventually find ourselves living there. But this house was local. I often joked with my partner that the only way I would continue to endure long Buffalo winters is if we had an indoor pool. Thinking that this was something that would never happen. So, even though a part of me scoffed at the thought of buying a house in our area, I clicked the link and fell in love with the house. Because there it was, an indoor pool. Looking at this house from the outside, one would not assume that there was a pool in it. It’s a hundred-year-old house. However, one of the owners enclosed the outdoor pool, making this amazing space that we now use as our living room area right next to the pool! I sent the listing to my partner and asked if we could schedule a time to see it. I knew before we saw it that we would buy it. But after the walkthrough it was confirmed. It had the space we needed as well as the pool, which made Buffalo winters more bearable. We took a risk and bought the house. We even got it for under asking price, which was unheard of during the pandemic. I listened to my intuition, took the risk, and it worked out! I also took this as a sign from the Universe that we were meant to stay here a while longer. I now have a large space to work and create in that is all my own. This is something that has been instrumental to me as I grow my businesses. I have faith that I am where I am supposed to be right now. It doesn’t mean it has been easy. The house has its issues, as I said, it’s very old and needs work, but it is nothing that we haven’t been able to handle. And since I’ve always had a passion for interior design, I get to play with that here as well!

The third character trait I mentioned is integrity. I feel that I am also successful with taking risks if I am doing this with integrity. Integrity means to me that I live in alignment with my values. I do no intentional harm to others, and as a friend of mine would say, I strive every day to be a “good human”. Including times when nobody is looking. I make it my mission to lead with integrity. To take ownership of my mistakes. To have in the forefront of my mind that I will do no intentional harm to others, and to be a “good human”. When I am aligned with my intuition, these things become easy to do. I have learned if I want to be successful, I must take risks. Even if, and especially if, the fear is paralyzing. In such moments, I know that the risks will lead to the success I am striving for if I tune into my intuition and coming from a place of integrity. All of this sums up to having faith in myself. If I am in alignment with these three character traits, I can then have faith that it will work out. And I can say that so far, these traits have been pivotal to the success of my leadership.

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?

My newest endeavor is my online coaching program True Self Manifestation. I’m really excited about this program because I use techniques from Internal Family Systems (IFS), an evidenced-based practice I use in my therapy practice. IFS is rooted in the belief that our minds are naturally multiple, and this is a good thing. We have our True Self, and we have our parts that help us navigate the world around us. During various times in our lives, our parts take on different roles and jobs that have positive intentions but unbeknownst to them, become more harmful than helpful to us. I use the example of self-sabotaging parts, including critical self-talk, limiting beliefs, people pleasing, or perfectionism. IFS teaches people, and in my program, women, how to tune into their True Self and work with these parts to harmonize the mind and system as a whole.

I’ve noticed that with many manifestation practices out in the world, there is a focus on only thinking positively, or “good vibes only”. There is a time and a place for this. However, this thought process not only minimizes our other thoughts and feelings, but it also invalidates the parts of us that have been hurt in the past. By doing this, we are avoiding, ignoring, and repressing parts of ourselves, instead of accepting all parts of us. This can diminish our self-worth. We need to be in our worth to manifest. So, I wanted to change this! And this why I created True Self Manifestation.

I use techniques I have learned from IFS and from my own exploration of manifestation to teach women how to talk to the parts of themselves that keep them in the cycle of self-sabotage. I help them build their worth from within, guiding them to align with their True Self, aka: intuition, or higher self, and with the Universe. And I empower women to manifest the lives they have always wanted. This program gets to the root of these self-sabotaging behaviors to make lasting change. I find this to be the ultimate in self-care.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?

I am so passionate about mental well-being because I want people to be the best versions of themselves. As a trauma therapist and coach, I have witnessed the impact and heavy toll adverse experiences have on people.

Women in particular struggle with the concept of self-care for various reasons. I have found that they often feel like they have no control of situations, experiences, or even their own emotions, thoughts, or behaviors. I love helping women feel empowered and in control of their mental well-being. To have agency in their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Instead of invalidating or minimizing themselves. It is incredibly rewarding teaching women how to show up for themselves by using self-care for their mental well-being, and to show up in the world aligned with their true authentic self!

Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?

We are so disconnected from ourselves that we struggle to recognize the beginning signs of stress, overwhelm, etc. until it is too late. So, by the time we get to this point, we’re putting our needs last. Therefore, we’re exhausted, burned out, and frustrated. We can also feel helpless and hopeless. When we ignore our needs, we are invalidating those parts of us that need us most at that moment. Historically, women have learned to ignore their own needs and to put the needs of others first. This is where self-care comes in. Self-care impacts mental wellness is so many positive ways. Self-care relieves stress, reduces burnout, anxiety, and overwhelm. It also allows us to tune into ourselves so we can reconnect and recognize these early warning signs. Self-care also helps improve our overall view of ourselves. When we begin to prioritize ourselves, even in small ways throughout our day, we are telling ourselves and our parts that we are worthy and deserving. We are reassuring and validating those thoughts or feelings,

Or, in other words, we are acknowledging the parts of us experiencing those thoughts or feelings that need us. We also learn how make space between ourselves and our parts. This is where we can shift our priorities to focus on what we need.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?

I believe that self-care should be accessible, attainable, and useable in our every day. Many people love to get massages, or be pampered in other ways, but how often do we really get to do that? The self-care practices I share below are techniques I use daily and teach my clients. I believe that if people can implement small but effective self-care practices throughout the day, they will feel less stress, less anxiety, and be more present and aligned with themselves.

1. Mindfulness. It is helpful to be mindful of what is going on inside of us, so that we know what is going on and what we need. I often teach clients a quick mindfulness check-in that they can do daily. Pause for a moment and ask yourself these three questions: What am I thinking? What am I feeling emotionally? What am I feeling physically? We are often so disconnected from our thoughts, our emotions, and our bodies, that we don’t realize the impact our thoughts have on our emotions and body. This helps gain awareness of what’s going on inside so that you can better manage it.

2.Grounding. These are quick exercises to bring us back to present moment and recenter ourselves. One of my favorites is using the 5 senses. List one of each: what do you see, hear, smell, taste, and touch? This one is great when you are feeling very anxious, having ruminating, or racing thoughts. This stops the thoughts so you can take control and redirect those thoughts to other things, a recent movie you enjoyed, or to a recent conversation you had with a friend.

3. Meditation. It does not have to be for an extended period of time. You do not have to meditate for an hour a day to feel the benefits. Even 5 minutes a day is helpful. I’m a big fan of guided meditations or binaural beats, as they hold my attention. If you feel like meditation is difficult for you, try them out.

4. Breathing. Do you know how often we go through our day breathing shallowly? This is often due to feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, or all the above. By taking a minute or two throughout your day to pause and take a few deep breaths, you are resetting and relaxing your system. You can even imagine yourself releasing tension with each exhale.

5. Set boundaries. People struggle with boundaries for various reasons. But boundaries are so important in self-care. We need to vocalize our needs to others. We cannot assume people can read our minds. If you need 10 minutes to yourself, no interruptions, say this. Then maintain the boundary. Consistency is key. If there are feelings of guilt around setting a boundary, notice it, and then let the guilt go. You are shifting the way you prioritize yourself and it can be difficult at first. Consistency and repetition with setting boundaries as with any of these skills are important to breaking old patterns and forming new ones.

Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?

Some of the main roadblocks I’ve seen are misconceptions around what self-care is, limited amount of time to engage in self-care, expectations for themselves, and others, not having the bandwidth to even utilize self-care, or that it is costly and indulgent. When I mention self-care to clients, I often get scoffed at. I am told that there is no time for yoga, a massage, or a mani-pedi. Or that they don’t have the money or resources. And if they did, they wouldn’t have the bandwidth to do any of these activities, rather they find themselves mindlessly scrolling on their phone or attempting to watch T.V. but are unable to concentrate.

Our society often tells women that it is selfish or indulgent to focus on themselves. We grew up with our mothers or female caregivers being martyrs, putting everyone else first and themselves last. Which in turn resulted in resentments and anger. Or if our mothers did take care of themselves, we heard from other mothers, or other older women that they were being selfish. How can we take care of others if we are not well? If we are not taking care of ourselves and we are running on empty? I remind women that it is healthy for their children, especially their daughters, to see them take care of themselves. We are being positive role models. They are learning to take care of themselves, to set boundaries based on their needs, and that it is okay.

To overcome these roadblocks, I suggest looking at self-care from a different perspective. Self-care can be indulgent, yes, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, self-care shouldn’t always be seen as this large-scale, costly, time-consuming thing. It can be a daily practice, little acts that one does for oneself throughout the day. I do remind people that we can’t take care of others if we are running on empty. But this is a difficult habit to break. We are raised in a culture that teaches women from a young age to be caregivers. Think about all of the dolls, kitchen sets, play vacuums that are out there! And if we do prioritize ourselves, we are often seen as selfish. This question often brings up core beliefs that need to be challenged and new ways of approaching self-care.

In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?

The one sentence I do say and have said to people is: “Check yourself before you wreck yourself.” as Ice Cube famously said.

Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”

This quote resonates with me so much because it puts our expectations into perspective. We often think that being mentally well means that we are happy all the time and that we will no longer have problems in our lives. The reality is life happens. Good and bad. We can’t control what goes on in the world. For instance, I can’t control if I get a flat tire on my way to work, or somebody is unkind to me for whatever reason. However, I can control of how I respond to these situations. It’s accepting reality while also not getting drawn into the “rabbit hole” as I like to say, and have it become all-consuming, when problems arise. When we are in a good mental space, we are in alignment with our authentic selves, and we have a greater ability to manage problems effectively. Not only that, but when we have happy times, we are more in tune with them and can appreciate these times more.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

This is a hard question because I feel that there are so many influential people out there in the world that I have been inspired and expanded by that I would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with! One would be author, international speaker and spirit junkie, Gabby Bernstein. I have been following her for years and am so inspired by her. Going back to the character traits that were most instrumental to my success, risk taking, intuitiveness, and integrity, I feel like Gabby exudes all of these. She shows up authentically, runs a successful business intuitively and thinks outside the box. I admire her greatly.

I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?

I can be found and reached on social media, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok at True Self Manifestation. I can also be found at www.trueselfmanifesation.com

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.