Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Riley Caldwell On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness
An Interview With Maria Angelova
Find your “what?” and your “why?”. This is your REASON for pursuing a life of fulfillment and the specific outcomes you’re looking for. This is your drive and should be based on fear, passion/love or desire. This is where channeling your mental health symptoms comes in. For me, it was my discomfort with prolonged anxiety and OCD, as well as my desire to have a strong and free mind.
Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Riley Caldwell.
Riley Caldwell is an 18-year old Australian Social Media Marketer and Lifestyle Influencer, who last year started building a mental health development movement for mentally struggling young people aged 15–24. The three tenants that Riley’s constructed this movement upon include helping people find their “what?” and their “why?”, channeling their mental health symptoms into personal drive, and consistent learning.
Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?
Honestly, it mostly started from my struggles with what we call “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” (OCD) and getting so uncomfortable in my life due to anxiety and obsessive thinking, that I decided I needed to make a “Lifestyle Shift”. A full change in the way in which I live, learn and act for the rest of my life. From that point on, I sought out all knowledge I could on identity-based philosophy, human psychology and on ways to make money, eat better, exercise and work effectively and more. A point came in around July 2022, where I decided that I wanted to help other’s become the person that they yearn to be deep down, and to create a platform that provided relevant, actionable and unique information on taking the human spirit to its fullest potential.
What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?
Both fear and hope. It’s important to me that I help people reach their potential as an individual in regards to mental strength, physical fitness, energy, financial literacy or competency and some other things. I do this because I’m determined to reach my own potential to avoid feeling as uncomfortable and scared as I once was, growing up with excessive anxiety (fear). I want the same for my family, friends and for everyone else (hope). Finally, I want to be the KIND of person who can adapt to anything and who has no crutches or things that they need to be just right — they only need their body and their mind.
Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?
The failure to communicate how I felt. Many times throughout high-school, I’d walk in and not even be able to open my mouth to speak to my closest friends. But my silence taught me to observe people and observe my thoughts, because it’s true that you are NOT your thoughts. This idea showed me how much you can learn by listening, reflecting and then growing. People are inherently quite arrogant and think that their knowledge and opinions will get them to a new point that they wanna reach, without actually taking in new information or really expanding their worldview. Plus, they never stop to truly absorb the valuable experiences of another person, either in real life or in a book or online, who’s BEEN where they are and surpassed that point. Keep in mind though, once I actually COULD communicate the nature of my incessant anxiety, I felt like I was less weird and finally coming to understand myself. The lesson is to fully open your mind to the world; everything can teach you something.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
1) Self-reflection + Calmness: This led to me asking the questions that helped me delve deeper into who I was, what I wanted out of life and why. This then allowed me to build personal faith as I started taking actions with SPECIFIC outcomes in mind AND successfully got things done. With reflection, came direction, and with direction, came faith.
2) Accountability: If nothing is your fault, you’ll never find any reason to grow. I try to catch my words when I imply that something is somebody else’s fault or responsibility, because that instantly takes an opportunity away from me to become a better leader/person, and to expand my knowledge and worldview. A lack of unaccountability is based on arrogance like I just spoke about, which stops people from seeking the knowledge and experience required from others that could otherwise help them grow past their mental health struggles and start living a more fulfilling life. Ask questions such as “what if it isn’t their fault?”, “what does this mean for me if I’m in the wrong?” or “how can I learn from this?”.
3) Consistency: I was going to say discipline for this one, but consistency kind-of explores the same thing. If you’re consistently accountable, self-reflective and calm, you will TRULY experience the effects of compounding, and a growth in character that you initially thought would take 10 years, takes you 2. For me, I’m awake and working on stuff between 5am each morning to 9pm at night. I keep consistent with work, exercise and mindfulness to ensure that I’m okay with being accountable and calm enough to notice my intrusive thoughts. I’ve been doing this more vigorously the past 12 months.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?
The most interesting is definitely the “Peaky Pines Community”. A Discord group for younger people who are tired of letting life control them, and rather want to pursue a future built on their own values and personal direction. I see many young people pursue careers and degrees without even really knowing why they’re doing it. Others hear the voice of society, their parents, school or their peers, telling them what to do and how to live SO much, that they can’t even tap into their own desires. Today, I hear friends and regular people speak as if they’re putting responsibility for their problems unto others, and they stress over the future incessantly because they have little direction. These 3 things lead to stress and anxiety, a lack of personal identity and a lack of fulfillment. The Peaky Pines Community as a long-term asset, will help people avoid these hindrances.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?
It’s the core element of the universe. Balance in mind and in body is referred to as homeostasis. Technically, this exists within everything; it’s what balanced ecosystems are build upon, what healthy relationships are built on, and mental wellbeing is how a human person is able to create and innovate. Without calm, open-minded and efficient people, the human race would never have gotten to the point that it’s reached today. Unfortunately, if one isn’t going forward in some way, they’re going backwards. Because in today’s world, there is far too much to indulge in to say that staying in your comfort zone won’t damage your identity and your future. Your time will whither away, as will your health and motivation, and the opportunity loss will be huge.
Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?
It determines our identity and thus, a lifestyle we can live by over many years. For me, between the movement I’ve created, the content I write, the business ordeals I’m orchestrating behind the scenes, people have asked me “how do you stay motivated to do these things”. My answer is that it’s not even difficult. Because 2 years ago, I fully committed to a LIFE-LONG way of living that includes constant learning, self-reflection, a deep focus on my spiritual health and a pursuit to help others find personal-fulfillment. Self-care isn’t what many top-ranking articles in Google say it is, like when you ask how to beat depression and it comes up with “go for a walk”, “do something you enjoy”, “hang out with some friends” and “do some exercise”. Because while these things DO maintain wellbeing for a mentally healthy person, someone who’s truly struggling will likely see minimal benefit by just listening to one of the ideas and trying it once. There needs to be a monumental shift in direction and the person’s reason for getting up in the morning. So overall, THIS type of long-term “self-care” or really a focus on fulfillment based on your values and personal “why?”, can completely alter the way in which your brain functions and how you experience the world.
Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?
Of course I can.
1) Find your “what?” and your “why?”. This is your REASON for pursuing a life of fulfillment and the specific outcomes you’re looking for. This is your drive and should be based on fear, passion/love or desire. This is where channeling your mental health symptoms comes in. For me, it was my discomfort with prolonged anxiety and OCD, as well as my desire to have a strong and free mind.
2) Describe the kind of person who would be living this life that you want to live. Embody them. If you can’t tell, identity is literally the framework to every point I’ll be making today. Change your identity, and your actions change. When your actions change, so does your life-trajectory or path. These two points underline the first steps one should take in practicing long-term health, rather than just engaging in short-term fixes for how they feel. This brings me onto my next point…
3) Stop relying on short-term solutions to poor mental health and start focusing on the long-term. Many people haphazardly perform healthy habits without changing who they are, their beliefs about themselves or knowing why exactly they’re engaging in these healthy activities. Soon enough, they give up. The following outlines the problem at hand; it’s about internal identity, not externally-based goals. I say that you should find the things that you desire deep down, then identify the traits of the person who’d fulfill all of those things — that is your destined identity and that’s what you focus on.
4) Practice mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing and quiet observation of both your thoughts and other people. Alternatives (I do all of these) could be yoga or VIGOROUS physical activity with a focus on mind-muscle connection. These things make you a more calm and content individual and prevent you from fixating on your stress, anxiety, depression or other personal struggles, which according to a study by Health Psychol, actually makes you more likely to die. In SOME cases, mental health symptoms don’t hinder your life, rather your perception that there’s something intrinsically wrong with you does. This is one reason why labelling yourself with mental health disorders isn’t always very helpful at all, because you’re sacrificing your power to learn, improve and grow past your struggles and giving that power to a subjective criteria. That’s what most diagnosable mental health disorders are, criteria or checklists. Nothing more.
5) Get involved in helping others or in a PROACTIVE community of people who’ve faced similar feelings and experiences to you. I say proactive, because if you’re depressed and hanging around other depressed people, sure you’ll be kinda comfortable, but you’ll still be depressed. A study by the International Journal of Mental Health Systems deduced that the best practical way for councils and governments to address mental illness was through mental health community camps. People who’d experienced prolonged problems with mental health get to come together and share their stories, what they’re doing about improving their situations and what has worked for them. This is part of the underlying infrastructure of the “Peaky Pines Community”.
Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?
1) A lack of personalised direction. Many people don’t know exactly what they want or why they want it. They don’t know why or have a reason for why they work where they work, study what they study, spend time and energy on certain people or even know why they aren’t living a more exciting or fulfilling life. You must sit down, a few times over one or two weeks in my case, and think about what you truly want. Keep asking “why?” to delve deeper. You’ll find things you’ve never thought of before. Then, look at whether what you’re doing now will get you there, look at what your values are, why you’d want to fulfill these “Desirable Outcomes” and then what kind of person would live that life. Yes, I know I repeat this, but it’s one of the utmost important things. Don’t chase goals, build identity. That’s what lasts.
2) They’re not uncomfortable enough in their present situation to seek radical change. You and your mind are separate entities, and often you need to convince it that you’re unhappy where you are and need some change. One way of doing this is sitting down with pen and paper, and writing down just how bad the alternative to growth is. “I’ll be depressed more often than I’ll be happy, which will worsen my social life, which means I’ll have less people to connect with and turn to in times of stress, which means I’m more susceptible to going downhill when bad things happen in my life…”. Amplify that life-path so that your brain begins to feel more open to learning and putting effort into things — this is ONE solution to when people don’t want to help themselves.
3) Most people see their mental health struggles as nothing but hindrances to their life, rather than things that could potentially be the reason that they create a life that’s different, purposeful and maybe even exciting. People who don’t struggle with what you’ve struggled with will have no reason to adapt and become better. Because that’s what you’re doing — adapting. Amplify your own pains to use as drive, find your deeply desired outcomes and identity and start doing stuff.
In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?
Don’t prioritize it. Rather, focus on learning things about yourself, others and the world and on building a calm, resilient mind. Knowledge and awareness gives you certainty and reduces fear of the unknown, and a calm person doesn’t fall victim to the illusions of “problems” that our mind creates. You can build a calm and resilient mind by doing yoga and incorporating vigorous exercise somehow, frequently practicing mindfulness, creating systems that force you to work on something before you can indulge in a gratifying activity, and observing the words and actions of yourself and other people around you.
Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?
- “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it Fate” — Carl Jung. If we don’t learn, we’ll do whatever others do, and never reach our potential in any way. If we don’t learn, and arrogantly believe that we don’t need to grow and that we’re already knowledgable or wise or whatever, our brain will ruin our chances at a better future. You’re always making choices, so if you don’t stop to question whether they’re good choices or based on logic, you’ll make decisions that lead to you living a sub-par life in comparison to what could’ve been. And I’ll bet you’ll say it wasn’t your fault…
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
First preference is Terry Crews.
The man whose battled some mighty adversity, I believe.
Otherwise, anyone who likes the things I’ve spoken about.
Or,
Someone who’s incorporating business into their mental wellness career.
Perhaps Scott Voelker.
I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?
Reach out to or follow me on Instagram @riley_caldwell_
or,
Email me — mortalman@rileycaldwell.com
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.
About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.
