Self-Care & Mental Wellness: Thalia-Maria Tourikis On The Top Five Selfcare Practices That Improve Mental Wellness

An Interview With Maria Angelova

You don’t need to be buying into the latest expensive product or spending your hard-earned cash on a retreat that promises to “transform you into a better person.”

Let’s face it. It seems that everyone is under a great deal of stress these days. This takes a toll on our mental wellness. What are some of the best self-care practices that we can use to help improve our mental wellness and mental well-being? In this interview series, we are talking to medical doctors, mental health professionals, health and wellness professionals, and experts about self-care or mental health who can share insights from their experience about How Each Of Us Can Use Self Care To Improve Our Mental Wellness. As a part of this series, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Thalia-Maria Tourikis.

Thalia is the founder of Notes by Thalia, a personal wellness blog that promotes a healthy work-life balance; one where productivity and self-care can work side by side and you don’t need to sacrifice one over the other. Through her weekly blog posts, Thalia encourages her readers to mindfully navigate and balance their day through sustainable productivity tips and holistic self-care practices, so they can find a moment of calm in a busy world.

Thank you so much for doing this interview with us. It is a great honor. Our readers would love to learn more about you and your personal background. Can you please share your personal story? What has brought you to this point in your life?

Okay, so there are two parts to how I got to where I am now.

The first part dates back to my early to late twenties. I was living and working in London and followed a very fast-paced, alcohol-infused lifestyle. For 6 years, I worked as a model agent in an extremely toxic and stressful environment. The job itself was practically a 24/7 role and I always had to be checking emails and be ready to reply or pick up the phone.

I was also a people-pleaser who always said yes to things and found it very difficult to say no. At the end of the day, I would drown my sorrows and escape through alcohol. It was extremely damaging to my mental health but at the time I wasn’t paying attention to that. I believed that this is what life is about, this is how people live.

This unsustainable lifestyle of drinking, partying, socialising, and working long hours finally caught up to me and at 27 years old, I hit extreme exhaustion and burnout, to the point where I no longer enjoyed my job and I found it difficult to get excited about things. I also started to avoid social situations because I felt like I lacked confidence and purpose.

At the end of 2017, I finally quit my job to go travelling across South East Asia and then South America. It was only while I was travelling did I realise how much I had been neglecting my mental health and well-being. So I worked on building myself back up. I wasn’t really aware of the concept of self-care so the time I spent travelling was purely about healing the relationship I had with myself and being comfortable in my own company.

I later got into self-care, and really started to prioritise my mental well-being when I started my online business.

Which is the second part of the story.

I was new to building a business so I looked to Instagram to help guide me through the process. The content that I was following at the time was promoting the hustle culture lifestyle. I was influenced to believe that working 18-hour days, 7 days a week and having no time to rest is what I needed to do in order to be successful. That rest was lazy and activities you actually wanted to do like hanging out with friends were just a waste of your time.

The message that was being portrayed over and over again was, “if you want it badly enough, you will work hard enough for it.”

I quickly hit burnout (again) and to make matters worse I got sucked into a cycle of comparing myself to others. I hit a very low point and was also trying to navigate lockdown through this time so I had to step away from what I was doing. I needed to sit with myself and really get comfortable with doing nothing.

I started to change my perception towards self-care, did my research, tried it out and soon realised how necessary rest was to my mental well-being, and I haven’t looked back since. It was during this time that I launched my blog and started to share an insight into my own wellness journey. My blog has now been running for 2 years and I’ve built a lovely online community which is continuing to grow daily.

What is your “WHY” behind what you do? What fuels you?

This is going to sound super cliché but in all honesty, it is freedom.

My (mental) wellness journey has allowed me to break free of societal expectations to the point where I live my life on my terms. I live how I want to live and not how others want me to live. And that in itself is incredibly freeing.

Throughout my entire 20s, I felt completely lost. I lacked purpose and direction. I was working in a job I hated because someone else told me I’d be good at that. I had no goals or ambitions. All I wanted to do with my time was spend my money on material things and get drunk.

But when I finally started to take care of my well-being I realised how much of what I was doing was to please other people. That constant pressure to fit in and be liked by others damaged my mental health more than I ever thought was possible, and I hate the thought that others are also going through this. Hence, my blog.

Now at 32, I’m finally happy in my own skin and love the person I have become. I’m on a path that aligns with my values and gives me meaning every single day. I am free of other people’s opinions of me and I’m no longer looking to impress others because I have learnt that my own personal worth is not dependent on anyone else. And to me, that is the greatest freedom.

Sometimes our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about a mistake or failure which you now appreciate has taught you a valuable lesson?

Quitting my 9 to 5 job made me feel as though I had failed.

That I was running away from my problems rather than “manning up” and just getting on with it.

I also felt that I was letting my friends and family down. After university, everyone is waiting for you to get a job, climb up the ladder, build a career and become respected within your field and I decided to throw that all away.

At the time, I was a huge people pleaser, and the thought I had that I was disappointing people was a hard pill to swallow. It was a very lonely time for me and I constantly questioned my choices but I soon realised that quitting my job and leaving London to travel the world was the best decision I ever made and I don’t regret it to this day.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

Well, thank you for calling me a successful leader. I actually had major imposter syndrome hearing that, but that part of my mindset is something I am learning to silence every day.

Personally, I would say:

1. Patience; because building a business is not linear and there have been plenty of times that I’ve wanted to throw in the towel but patience has taught me to keep going and trust in the process. I’m a believer in slow growth as I believe all great things (like trees) take time to grow!
2. Self-belief; I’m not sure if this is a character trait but there is no way I’d be doing what I’m doing if I didn’t believe in myself.
3. Organisation; call me cliché but I am an organisation freak! I honestly don’t think I would have got to where I am today without being able to organise and balance my schedule. It takes a lot to be able to run a business, manage a team and constantly be up to date with wellness trends but being organised has allowed me to take control over my to-do list and weekly schedule, and I am able to show up daily knowing that “I can do this”

What are some of the most interesting or exciting new projects you are working on now? How do you think that will help people?

I am currently studying to become a Certified Health Coach so I can better serve my audience and offer 1:1 coaching programmes. It’s a long, in-depth process full of many writing assignments which has been challenging to say the least but it’s also extremely exciting and fulfilling.

With the rise of the “Gen Z Wellness Influencer” on social media, I am starting to see a lot of misinformation and “one size fits all” advice being shared online and it doesn’t sit right with me. I want to be able to expand my knowledge in health, wellness and nutrition so I am never in the position where I am misinforming my audience and selling something for my own personal gain without doing proper research first.

OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview, about the interface between self-care and mental health. From where you stand personally or professionally, why are you so passionate about mental well-being?

I’ve been previously trapped in my own cycle of mental health issues and unfortunately, there was no one there to support me. I was ashamed of speaking about how I felt to friends and family because I felt like my emotions weren’t valid enough and so I learnt to deal with everything myself.

It was a very slow and lonely process and I don’t want anyone to go through their struggles on their own. I want to be able to share my own experience in the hopes that it will inspire and help someone in some way. Whether that is to give them support, encourage them to make a change or make them feel less alone.

Based on your research or experience, how exactly does self-care impact our mental wellness?

Self-care is any activity you do to help take better care of your mental health and well-being. The more you rest and take care of yourself, the more nourished you feel so you can keep showing up as the healthiest version of yourself.

There’s that popular saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup” and as cringe as it sounds it is so true. Because I’ve been there. I’ve neglected my well-being, pushed through and run on empty. But let me tell you, the outcome is not pretty — think a lot of tears and bed days.

Burnout is not fun and doesn’t serve us in any way, but by taking the time to rest and indulge in activities that you enjoy you are prioritising yourself and showing yourself love.

Life becomes about more than just your work.

Here is our primary question. Can you please share your “Top Five Selfcare Practices That Each Of Us Can Use To Improve Our Mental Wellness”?

I believe self-care begins at home.

You don’t need to be buying into the latest expensive product or spending your hard-earned cash on a retreat that promises to “transform you into a better person.”

Self-care can be simple.

My own self-care routine is super basic and doesn’t take hours to complete, in fact, I choose to sprinkle little doses of self-care throughout my day.

Here are a few self-care rituals that anyone can practice throughout their day:

1. Get 7–8 hours of sleep a night — There is no better way to show yourself self-care than by getting proper rest. Sleep reduces stress, boosts mood and improves focus and productive energy. You simply cannot function without it and for that reason, it is the key to mental wellness.
2. Read for 10-mins every morning — Reading is self-care. It is proven to reduce stress, ease anxious thoughts, stimulate the brain, boost focus and prepare you for the day ahead.
3. Move your body daily — Daily exercise keeps us healthy — both mentally and physically. It gets your body moving, boosts energy, releases happy hormones, elevates your mood and reduces stress. But exercise doesn’t have to be a chore either, it can be a fun self-care activity! Think dance lessons, jump rope, rollerskating, dodgeball, rock climbing or swimming, etc.
4. Practice gratitude — Gratitude promotes self-care because when you practice gratitude you are building a deeper connection with yourself. You are committing to self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-compassion and these are essential tools for supporting your personal growth, mental health and overall well-being.
5. Get plenty of fresh air — Fresh air is therapy. It clears away the cobwebs, eases anxious thoughts and provides clarity among other things. But the best bit? It’s 100% free! So don’t forget about this simple tool for daily mental wellness, it’s literally right outside.

Can you please share a few of the main roadblocks that prevent people from making better self-care choices? What would you suggest can be done to overcome those roadblocks?

I feel as though over the past couple of years, the core meaning of self-care has become misleading and the term, which is essentially supposed to be an empowering activity, is becoming more and more intimidating, toxic and quite frankly pretentious.

For example, if I see Karen on TikTok indulging in a self-care routine that consists of wearing a face mask, drinking a green matcha latte, going to the gym for an hour and then meditating, I’m going to get put off by that as I don’t enjoy any of those things and I will end up neglecting self-care.

And this is what I see happening. People are starting to reject self-care because they see it as just another fad or check-box item they need to add to a long list of other things.

But the truth is, self-care can be whatever you want it to be.

It doesn’t have to be about indulging in a skincare routine, having bubble baths or going to bed early.

Yes, self-care can be uncomfortable sometimes if you’re doing a lot of inner work but as long as what you choose to do is making you feel good both inside and out, then you’re doing it right.

Self-care should never feel like a chore, otherwise what’s the point?

So my word of advice for anyone is to build a self-care routine that works for you. If all you have time for is reading for 10-mins in the morning then that’s great, 10-mins of self-care is better than none!

Don’t get sucked into shiny trends on social media and someone else’s version of self-care.

Always do what works for you.

In one sentence, what would you say to someone who doesn’t prioritize their mental well-being?

Please, please, please go and take care of yourself, your future self will thank you ♡

Thank you for all that great insight! Let’s start wrapping up. Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does this quote resonate with you so much?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it” — Ferris Bueller

Yes, I did just choose a fictional quote from the 80s movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and I don’t feel ashamed about it. The quote appears on my screensaver so I read it every single day. It reminds me to slow down, take a break, pause when I feel overwhelmed, appreciate the simple things and enjoy life. To not always be looking and working towards the future but to focus on the now. Something that a lot of us neglect to do.

It’s so easy to follow the crowd and do things because others are doing them, for fear of missing out or simply for the sake of being busy but slow living has allowed me to really focus on what’s important to me and prioritise my goals. I now find myself doing a lot less, but feel a lot more fulfilled in the process.

Crazy to think this quote was written back in 1986, way before the Internet and social media which has made it all the more important to slow down.

We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world or in the US whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? They might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)

Brené Brown! I think she is an incredible role model for all women and everything she puts into this world is life-changing. She is raw, honest and talks openly about vulnerability, shame and human connection. And she is not afraid of saying what’s on her mind, getting things wrong and learning to grow. Something that I find is lacking from other female role models in my life. And if she sees this I will cry!

I truly appreciate your time and valuable contribution. One last question. How can our readers best reach or follow you?

For more realistic wellness tips and self-care ideas, you can find me on Instagram, Pinterest and TikTok all under @notesbythalia

For more insight into my wellness journey and everything in between, head over to my blog; notesbythalia.com

And for a moment of calm straight to your inbox every Wednesday, you can sign up for my newsletter at notesbythalia.com/subscribe

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent on this. We wish you only continued success.

About The Interviewer: Maria Angelova, MBA is a disruptor, author, motivational speaker, body-mind expert, Pilates teacher and founder and CEO of Rebellious Intl. As a disruptor, Maria is on a mission to change the face of the wellness industry by shifting the self-care mindset for consumers and providers alike. As a mind-body coach, Maria’s superpower is alignment which helps clients create a strong body and a calm mind so they can live a life of freedom, happiness and fulfillment. Prior to founding Rebellious Intl, Maria was a Finance Director and a professional with 17+ years of progressive corporate experience in the Telecommunications, Finance, and Insurance industries. Born in Bulgaria, Maria moved to the United States in 1992. She graduated summa cum laude from both Georgia State University (MBA, Finance) and the University of Georgia (BBA, Finance). Maria’s favorite job is being a mom. Maria enjoys learning, coaching, creating authentic connections, working out, Latin dancing, traveling, and spending time with her tribe. To contact Maria, email her at angelova@rebellious-intl.com. To schedule a free consultation, click here.