Sevdha On How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’
Being a Perfectionist can oftentimes lead to multiple unfinished projects, along with mental and emotional burnout. It lends itself to a lot of unnecessary rigidity, posing as a detriment in many cases when a situation could have called for flexibility.
Many successful people are perfectionists. At the same time, they have the ability to say “Done is Better Than Perfect” and just complete and wrap up a project. What is the best way to overcome the stalling and procrastination that perfectionism causes? How does one overcome the fear of potential critique or the fear of not being successful? In this interview series, called “How To Get Past Your Perfectionism And ‘Just Do It’, we are interviewing successful leaders who can share stories and lessons from their experience about “how to overcome the hesitation caused by perfectionism.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sevdha.
Sevdha is a Project Manager in the techspace by day, and a professional Bollywood and Belly Dance artist at night (or afternoon — or whatever time of the day a gig calls). A self-proclaimed “dancing developer,” she is passionate about Science and tech, and funnels her enjoyment of research into creating comedic content on Youtube revolving primarily around related topics. Sevdha is also a talented illustrator, and sometimes shares her illusionary body paint projects on her personal Instagram.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was raised in Jamaica in my formative years by strict, religious grandparents. I was always the quiet, bookish, introverted type well into my early adult years, and was diagnosed to be on the spectrum quite late in the game. I was notably ambitious from a young age — for instance, I’ve tried at two different occasions to set up my own web design business in my teens. However, these efforts, and many more, tended to not gain much traction back then — turns out not many people take shy, unassuming teenagers very seriously when it comes to business!
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Like most, I have had countless situations in which I was rejected, taken advantage of, or otherwise betrayed in business. It’s only natural to feel upset in such situations, but to hold on to negative feelings for an elongated period of time only causes a downward spiral that will eventually lead to more negative outcomes.
Is there a particular book, podcast, or film that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
It was the book, “Look Me in The Eye,” by John Elder Robison, that sparked an initial curiosity of my particular quirks that would eventually lead me into a months-long rabbit hole of obsessive research that culminated in a life-changing diagnosis.
Also, while I can’t claim a lasting impact from the entire book, there was a particular quote from, “Attracting Terrific People,” by Lillian Glass, that made me deeply reevaluate some of my behaviour. The quote was, “ Shy People are Selfish People.” As I used to often be called shy, it was jarring to hear such a…mean statement — but the more time I allowed myself to ruminate upon it, the more I realized that there was an element of truth to it. To be shy was indeed a constant concern of your own self image to an oftentimes detrimental effect. That particular state of being involves an awful lot of self-projection and seldom allows you to add value to those around you. Since then, I’ve tried tirelessly to undergo therapy and confidence coaching.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Persistence — I’ve gotten stuck in the flawed thought that if one door didn’t open, I wasn’t good enough — period. Just because you couldn’t go through one door, it doesn’t mean there isn’t another awaiting you elsewhere. Keep knocking.
Resilience — the fear of rejection is hindering, and I can’t lie when I say that the fear has guided much of my earlier efforts. Sometimes, it’s beneficial to not only accept certain rejections, but seek them out as a sort of strength-building exercise (or a sado-masochistic one, if that’s your kind of thing).
Adaptability — This includes being open to new ideas and experiences. I certainly had to adapt when the pandemic hit, resulting in a prolonged dry spell for entertainment. I was able to hone and fall back on my tech-related skills.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion. Let’s begin with a definition of terms so that each of us and our readers are on the same page. What exactly is a perfectionist? Can you explain?
A perfectionist is a person who accepts no lower standard than perfection. A perfectionist is likely to comb over an e-mail 8 times to make sure there are no grammatical/spelling errors, spend an extra 15 minutes tweaking and rewording to convey the intended tone as accurately as possible, and stick the thing into Grammarly twice, just in case. It can be pretty intense (and annoying).
The premise of this interview series is making the assumption that being a perfectionist is not a positive thing. But presumably, seeking perfection can’t be entirely bad. What are the positive aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
You’re often trusted to do a good job, which lends itself to certain perks, and sometimes even increased leniency. In high school, for example, I was sometimes given access to unused spaces to study/complete projects — a privilege that I realized no one else had (or possibly even cared for, honestly).
What are the negative aspects of being a perfectionist? Can you give a story or example to explain what you mean?
Being a Perfectionist can oftentimes lead to multiple unfinished projects, along with mental and emotional burnout. It lends itself to a lot of unnecessary rigidity, posing as a detriment in many cases when a situation could have called for flexibility.
Perhaps one of the largest examples of this fact was when I was selected to be a contestant on America’s Got Talent. I was stoked, and I spent countless hours planning my performance. From costuming, to song choice, music editing — everything had to be perfect. Long story short? Last-minute licensing issues made it so that I couldn’t use the song I chose. I was given the opportunity to pivot, but because of my inflexibility at the time, my segment was never aired. What could have been a major break for me ended up as a throwaway because I couldn’t bear to veer away from my “perfect” plan! When I look back at it — it was pretty ridiculous.
From your experience or perspective, what are some of the common reasons that cause a perfectionist to “get stuck” and not move forward? Can you explain?
I’d say that one of the most common reasons would be self-doubt. Perfectionists tend to not want weaknesses shown (or amplified, in their minds). The relentless need for perfection oftentimes comes from the need to prove oneself, stemming from a perceived lack of acknowledgement in the past.
I’d say that held true for me. I constantly tried to achieve in order to seek approval from others, especially coming from a relatively demanding environment that was pretty low on the encouragement side of things.
Since true “perfection” is an arbitrary concept, we end up striving for something ultimately unreachable. This puts us in the position to get stuck when we can’t achieve that elusive end goal.
Here is the central question of our discussion. What are the five things a perfectionist needs to know to get past their perfectionism and “just do it?” Please share a story or example for each.
No one will ever know the amount of painstaking effort you put into something. There’s a point when you have to truly balance the worth of the extra time you put into certain efforts versus the lack of production value or acknowledgement that it results in. In fact, I had this challenge when coming up with responses to this interview. I had to eventually tell myself, “Just send it. I’m pretty sure no one will read this entire article, anyway!”
Your worst enemy is often yourself, and you are often your worst critic. Just put it out there, because chances are, it’s probably much better than you think it is (I must say, this is terrible advice for a developer, though. Make the slightest mistake, and you’re screwed).
Connection is Key — sometimes, just knowing the right person will trump 1000 hours of effort — as unfair as I used to think it was. Sometimes it’s just a better idea to foster relationships than stress over minor details that most people will likely never see. This is still something I struggle with, to be honest. :)
Take a rest. Emotional burnout is not worth it, and you’ll end up wasting way more time if you ever get yourself to that point. It’s a real thing!
Take the time to know yourself and understand why you’re a perfectionist. It may truly change your perspective on things if you delve a little deeper to find out why you do things the way you do. Does it come from a deep-seated need to please others? Are you trying to prove something to yourself? Knowing yourself a bit better can free up a lot of mental burden that you didn’t actually know you had.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Had I been asked about this a little over a year ago, I would have had a firm answer. I suppose I would do what I am trying to do with my Youtube channel — inspire people to be more interested in Science and Tech by presenting concepts in a simple, comedic, and approachable way. Sounds boring, but I suppose that’s my movement! Can someone inspire a movement curled up on their couch with a cup of tea and a cat in their lap? If so, I’m game.
Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!
At the moment, it’s probably a toss-up between physicist Michio Kaku and Youtuber Ryan Higa. Extremely different types of people, for sure, but for similar reasons — they’re both in possession of insanely creative minds, and are masterful at communicating to the masses in a way that I find to be uniquely approachable and engaging. I could learn a thing or two from them, I’m sure!
How can our readers follow you online?
youtube.com/sevydevi
Facebook.com/sevdha
Instagram.com/Sevdha
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
