Shanna Missett Nelson of Jazzercise: How Extremely Busy Executives Make Time To Be Great Parents

There are so many different ways to be a good parent. The most important thing is being engaged and paying attention to what they need. The world is not always going to treat your kids the best, but I want to be the safe place where they land, where they know they’re loved no matter what. At the same time, I’m not here to be their friend, I’m here to be their mom.

As a part of my series about “How extremely busy executives make time to be great parents”, I had the pleasure to interview Shanna Missett Nelson.

Shanna Missett Nelson is President of Jazzercise, Inc., guiding the group fitness industry leader in global and local markets and managing strategic direction of the brand. Having a front row view into how her mom, Judi Sheppard Missett, created the largest dance fitness company in the world, Nelson began as an instructor but quickly launched her business career as an international brand consultant and franchise owner herself. Shanna guides the corporate management team and steers the direction of the company. In addition to her role at the company, Shanna is a media spokesperson and motivational speaker who holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature from the University of Arizona. Additionally, her contributions to the fitness industry have been acknowledged through numerous awards, public and media recognition. Nelson lives and works in Carlsbad, CA, with her husband and two daughters, Skyla (18) and Sienna (15).

Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us your “childhood backstory”?

I grew up with hippie parents, one of whom happened to create a fitness movement. My parents were health pioneers and in the late 60s and early 70s had a health food store in Aspen, CO before moving to San Diego in 1972. My mom continued teaching dance fitness classes she later called Jazzercise.

Can you share the story about what brought you to this specific point in your career?

I started out subbing classes in college and from there did whatever I could to help Jazzercise. In my junior year of college, in order to teach Jazzercise everywhere I could, I went to Japan, growing the Jazzercise following there. A couple of years later, I was coaching our international businesses and growing the international following.

At the same time, my colleague, Young McCarthy and I had taken over the Jazzercise fitness center in Oceanside, California at which we tripled the monthly income in the first 2 years. In 2010, we had so many customers that I started converting them to instructors and we opened the second location nearby at La Costa. The same year, I was promoted to president. On that day I was cleaning the resistance balls in the center — it really was whatever it took, whenever it was needed. Not long thereafter, I took over the Jazzercise Apparel department and have been able to grow it from a loss to a $4–5M/year business unit.

All the while, I was performing in training videos for instructors to learn and teach. Around 2013, I started evolving our choreography by adding more modern movements and cutting-edge fitness trends like HIIT and no impact. I continue to do the bulk of that work, now.

Can you tell us a bit more about what your day-to-day schedule looks like?

There is hardly any structure to my schedule except that every day I work, take care of my kids and do Jazzercise.

Since I work from home a lot, I pop in on my kids when they’re getting ready for bed or doing other things. I drive them to all their dance competitions, although one is old enough to drive herself now. I try to make dinner and eat with my family every night. And I always say goodnight.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the core of our discussion. This is probably intuitive to many, but it would be beneficial to spell it out. Based on your experience or research, can you flesh out why not spending time with your children can be detrimental to their development?

Not spending time with your children may make them feel unwanted, uncared for and not good enough — like they’re not worthy of your attention.

On the flip side, can you give a few reasons or examples about why it is so important to make time to spend with your children?

Spending time with your children — especially focusing on what’s going on in their lives, their schedules, showing them that you’re paying attention — that’s what makes them feel important to you. Paying attention to what’s happening to them, where they are, what they have to do — it’s really important. As it is with everyone, actually. But especially your kids.

According to this study cited in the Washington Post, the quality of time spent with children is more important than the quantity of time. Can you give a 3–5 stories or examples from your own life about what you do to spend quality time with your children?

At bedtime, I’ll often check on them and we talk about the day. Sometimes with both girls, sometimes it’s one at a time. And, taking them to dance and picking them up every day gives me a few concentrated minutes. It’s on those drives that they tell you someone said something at school. Sometimes the shorter the drive, the more I get out of them.

We all live in a world with many deadlines and incessant demands for our time and attention. That inevitably makes us feel rushed and we may feel that we can’t spare the time to be “fully present” with our children. Can you share with our readers 5 strategies about how we can create more space in our lives in order to give our children more quality attention? Please include examples or stories for each, if you can.

1. Juggle. Sometimes, you have to juggle your own schedule to be there for your kids. Even when they were little I would work while they napped so I could be fully present when they were up.
2. Give the minutes you can. Even a 5–7-minute drive from home to the dance studio can be a great way to connect with my girls. Turn the phone off and be fully present. Those few minutes can be the moments they remember.
3. Host. Have the best snacks. Invite your kids’ friends over. Offer to drive on field trips. By doing those things, I get the time with my kids and they get the time they need with their friends. Even knowing I’m in the other room can be meaningful to my girls and make them feel cared for.
4. Be there. When my kids take a test or perform, being the first person they see afterwards can make all the difference. Even watching remotely and being able to talk about it after — you may think “they won’t care”, but they do.
5. Write on the banana. Always put notes in their lunches. I will write “You’ve got this” literally on the banana or fill a lunchbox with sticky notes. They’ll tell you it embarrasses them, but it shows you’re thinking about them.

People will tell you that your kids need to be organized and do it themselves but that’s BS. I had to help them with all of that and my kids have become list makers and totally organized — with a lot of help. But now that they’re 15 and 18, they’ve got it.

How do you define a “good parent”? Can you give an example or story?

There are so many different ways to be a good parent. The most important thing is being engaged and paying attention to what they need. The world is not always going to treat your kids the best, but I want to be the safe place where they land, where they know they’re loved no matter what. At the same time, I’m not here to be their friend, I’m here to be their mom.

How do you inspire your child to “dream big”? Can you give an example or story?

I feel like what you do and how you live your life is what they’re going to draw the most from. I tell my kids that “you’ve got to do your work first, and then play.” Happiness can come from being a productive person. Rather than dreaming, we focus on laying the groundwork for a bright future.

How do you, a person who masterfully straddles the worlds of career and family, define “success”?

By being fulfilled in what you do. I have a job where I help people lead better lives, so, that feels meaningful. As far as family, there will be ups and downs so making that more normal, that’s really important. Comparing other people’s outsides to my insides is never going to help.

What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a better parent? Can you explain why you like them?

I loved Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed, but my biggest resource is looking to the moms who’ve come before me, whose kids I really love, and I watch and ask how they’ve done it. I don’t feel the need to trailblaze as a parent.

Once my then-5th grader was having a huge fit about schoolwork. I asked her to go to her room and walked toward the kitchen. My younger looked at me and asked what I was going to do. I said, “I’m going to call Diane.” And she looked up at me, non-plussed and said, “Mom, you don’t know what to do?” and I was like “I don’t know what to do.” But I knew Diane would know. So, I called her.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Always look to those who’ve gone before you. I don’t feel like it’s okay not to ask how to do something.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

I feel like there’s a belief that dads can’t do this or that, but I would love to normalize both parents participating in the day to day of their children’s lives.

Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!