Sonali Chandra: Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Became A Professional Comedian

It’s ok NOT to use profanity — most stand-up comedians use profanity, and I was intimidated by this in the beginning, as I do not use profanity in everyday life (unless it’s an extreme situation). My teachers at Flappers University assured me it’s ok to be a clean comedian, and that if I tried to use profanity, I would not be authentic to audiences.

I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Sonali Chandra. Sonali Chandra is an Indian American dancer, model, and comedian who has appeared on “The Dr. Phil Show” and Lifetime’s “5 Guys a Week.” Chandra graduated with a finance degree from Rutgers Business School in New Jersey and worked in NYC’s corporate finance/real estate sectors before moving to Los Angeles.

Thank you so much for doing this with us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

I was born & raised in New Jersey to immigrant parents from Kolkata, India. Growing up, I spoke Bengali (a regional language of India) at home, learned Indian classical dancing, and watched Bollywood movies — which is how I learned Hindi (the national language of India). I had to take ESL at (public) school to learn English.

On a more serious note, my well-meaning conservative parents forbade me from socializing (including sleepovers and prom) and dating boys. They told me if I rebelled and brought them disappointment, I would be sent to India, which I did NOT want to happen. So, I was (and still am) a “Good-Girl”.

I realized at an early age I wanted to be an entertainer when I “grew up” (thanks to the camera that my father frequently took childhood videos/photos of me with). However, while I was growing up, I was a total geek (with glasses & braces). My parents told me that if I didn’t do well in school, I would not get a reputable job to earn a lot of money (which supposedly brought happiness). They also told me I had to marry an Indian man right after college graduation, even though I never learned the life-skill of dating, my father assured me he would pick the best man out there to be my husband; but I didn’t trust my dad to do this.

My parents didn’t want me to study theater (nor did I want to be an engineer, doctor, or lawyer), so after earning a finance degree from Rutgers University (where I commuted from home — for both financial and cultural reasons — since college kids do “hanky panky”, as my dad calls it), I started my career on Wall Street. I quickly realized that Happy Hours exist in the corporate sector because employees are miserable at their jobs, and material items fill a huge emotional void. As for my “wedding,” I decided to marry my career (I have been fighting arranged marriage pressure — from my parents — for over a decade). Fast forward to today, I am 35 and a Virgin.

Can you share a story with us about what brought you to this specific career path as a comedian?

I have spent 10+ years spending every birthday and holiday by myself (and have cried tears of loneliness numerous times). At the start of this year, I told myself I will no longer be sad in 2022 and bought tickets to attend Jay Leno’s show at Flappers Comedy Club, where classes were advertised. I signed up immediately.

Stand-up comedy equates to hardship and time. So, I spin my financial/emotional/physical challenges in a positive way — specifically being a VIRGIN at age 35! It has been such a thrill to entertain live audiences with my journey!

Can you tell us the most interesting story that happened to you since you began your career?

When I started my career on Wall Street. I was beyond shocked when my female colleagues were being promoted before me, just because they had “special relationships” with men who were higher up in the corporate ladder. I was also super disgusted when men in senior corporate rankings (who were my father’s age and were married with kids) were making passes at me and hitting on me.

In addition, what shocked me was how many men (my age) were willing to help me with my career, in exchange for sleeping with me.

I am proud of myself for holding onto my dignity/integrity by NOT sleeping around for professional advancement. I have gotten to where I am through intense hard work; nothing was ever handed to me, nor was I born into money/connections.

It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?

At the start of my career, when I shook hands with men in the corporate sector, they leaned in to kiss me on my cheek — I completely freaked out! It was quite a (learning) experience that still makes me uncomfortable to this day. I’ve learned that while I can’t control the behavior of others, I can control my reaction — I’ve taught myself to act confident and sophisticated.

None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?

Patricia “Pat” David is my friend/confidante/mentor and a mom-like-figure in my life; she is an absolute godsend. Having connected with her through the Women’s Business Initiative at Rutgers University, I have never met anyone who is as compassionate and all-knowing as Pat. I have called Pat “a million times’’ for both personal and professional advice, and she keeps giving, giving, and giving. Pat David is the one constant in my roller-coaster life.

You have been blessed with great success in a career path that can be challenging. Do you have any words of advice for others who may want to embark on this career path, but seem daunted by the prospect of failure?

If you follow your passion, success will eventually happen. Don’t give up!

You have such impressive work. What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? Where do you see yourself heading from here?

I am developing the following creative projects and will pitch to VIP showrunners/producers and book publishers. With a finance degree from Rutgers Business School, I know exactly what makes a bankable project (an Indian-American, millennial woman’s voice AND a virgin’s perspective on sex)

1. “The Sexy Virgin” © — Studio Feature Film OR Unscripted Documentary on Netflix/Prime/Hulu/etc. -
2. Untitled Comedy Special — I create comedy based on my Indian upbringing in America, and how I am a 35-year-young Vivacious VIRGIN (my UNIQUE quality in today’s hook-up culture). My work can be seen here: https://www.sonalichandra.com/comedy
3. Untitled memoir

What do you do to get material to write your jokes? What is that creative process like?

To create my stand-up comedy jokes, I leverage the challenges I’ve had in life by developing an optimistic perspective about them. It is a very therapeutic and cathartic process, plus such a thrill to entertain audiences who may be going through a difficult time (I thank my parents for instilling the performing arts in me as a child).

What are your “Five Things I Wish Someone Told Me When I First Became A Professional Comedian” and why? Please share a story or example for each.

1. Be proud of your culture — growing up, I was ashamed of being the only Indian-American in my non-diverse public school system. For instance, my parents would prepare Indian food for my school lunches, and kids at school would tease me. But in my teenage years, I performed Indian classical dances at the Annual Talent Shows, and the entire school was amazed at my performing arts skills (thanks to the Indian dance lessons my parents enrolled me when I was age 8).
2. Own your Truth — I never imagined I would publicly reveal my virgin status (I was never ashamed of having my V-Card, but I was private about it). After 3 serious heartbreaks (all by Indian men), I realized my being a virgin is what makes me unique. Since that day, I decided to be loud and proud about it! As Oprah states, “Speaking Your Truth Is the Most Powerful Tool We All Have.”
3. Be ready for Haters/Hecklers — as I ascend in the public entertainment space, I have learned to “take with a grain of salt” the comments of haters/hecklers/critics. For instance:
   “Your child-bearing years are limited as a 35 year-old.” To which I say “have you heard of surrogacy or adoption?”
   “Don’t buy a car without test-driving it.” To which I say “I am NOT a shoe or sock that men can try on by sleeping with me, and then disappearing from my life!”
   “Are you lesbian?”
   To which I say:
   I am a heterosexual lady. When I see a handsome man, electricity runs through me.
   I don’t understand why men are scared off when they find out I am a virgin (because society has a derogatory term for ladies who ARE promiscuous).
   I won’t do ONS/FWB/NSA/Hook-Ups/Pre-Marital Sex
   I am looking for my soulmate…my one-and-only. I want what Priyanka Chopra has with Nick Jonas.
4. It’s ok NOT to use profanity — most stand-up comedians use profanity, and I was intimidated by this in the beginning, as I do not use profanity in everyday life (unless it’s an extreme situation). My teachers at Flappers University assured me it’s ok to be a clean comedian, and that if I tried to use profanity, I would not be authentic to audiences.
5. Health is Wealth — without our health, we don’t have the ABILITY to do anything.

Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?

Pat David keeps advising me to “Have Faith.” My entire life has been a roller-coaster, and this piece of wisdom is what keeps me going.

You are a person of huge influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?

Health (physical & mental) = Wealth

Is there a person in the world whom you would love to have lunch with, and why? Maybe we can tag them and see what happens!

I would love to meet Oprah. I grew up watching her on TV and I find her incredibly inspirational.

Are you on social media? How can our readers follow you online?

I am omnipresent! I serve to inspire and entertain the world!

• IG — http://www.instagram.com/i_am_sonali_chandra
• LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonalichandra/
• Tik Tok — https://www.tiktok.com/@i_am_sonali_chandra?_t=8Ub3nLePPzi&_r=1
• Twitter — https://twitter.com/SonaliC90550836
• Website — www.sonalichandra.com

This was so informative, thank you so much! We wish you continued success!