Stephen Box of Unshakable Habits On The 5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve a Healthy Body Weight, And Keep It Permanently
While exercise and nutrition are important factors to achieving a healthy body weight and keeping it permanently, they are not the only factors. It’s not uncommon for me to see clients hit weight loss plateaus that coincide with an increase in their stress levels at work. Ultimately, weight loss and weight gain come down to calories in vs calories out but our stress levels, quality of recovery, and many external factors can affect how those calories impact our weight.
So many of us have tried dieting. All too often though, many of us lose 10–20 pounds, but we end up gaining it back. Not only is yo-yo dieting unhealthy, it is also demoralizing and makes us feel like giving up. What exactly do we have to do to achieve a healthy body weight and to stick with it forever?
In this interview series called “5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve A Healthy Body Weight And Keep It Permanently” we are interviewing health and wellness professionals who can share lessons from their research and experience about how to do this.
As a part of this series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Stephen Box.
If you struggle to stick with your habits, Stephen Box can help take your habits from unsustainable to unshakable — even if you have zero willpower.
Stephen is a habit change specialist at Unshakable Habits, host of the Unshakable Habits podcast, and motivational speaker.
Inspired by his own 80 lb weight loss journey, Stephen is certified as an Elite Fitness Trainer, Transformation Specialist, Online Fitness Trainer, and Sports Nutritionist with over a decade of experience in the health and wellness field.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up in Pensacola, FL, after moving there from Oklahoma when I was 7 years old. Fortunately, the neighborhood I grew up in was filled with kids around my age. This was back in the 80’s when kids actually went outside and played, and sports were a big thing in our neighborhood. I wasn’t the best athlete, but it became a way for me to fit in and for the most part it kept me out of trouble.
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
In 2009, I weighed 245 lbs — which is a lot when you’re only 5’7. It was hard seeing pictures of myself from vacation and thinking “what happened to that young athletic kid?” It got so bad that my vacation photos were mostly of things, and I did my best not to take pictures with me in them. In the event that I had to take a picture, I’d try to hide my body behind someone else’s. I knew I needed to make a change, but I had years of bad experience with different diets and workout programs where I kept losing and regaining the same weight.
Finally in 2009, I decided to hire a personal trainer at a big box gym. That actually didn’t go so well as I ended up going through 6 different trainers. Some just weren’t a great fit, and others left the gym for other opportunities. Flustered, I gave up for a while. A few months later, I went in to cancel my membership and found out that I had 72 unused, non-refundable personal training sessions.
Not wanting to throw the money away, I signed up with two trainers and started doing six 30-minute sessions per week just to get through them. Seriously, I wasn’t even doing it to lose weight anymore.
Ironically, that’s when I met Rob, one of the personal trainers. A big part of why we connected was because he took the time to explain what we were doing and why. As someone who loves to learn, it sparked a passion for fitness and health that I never expected.
Fast forward a few months into training with Rob, and it clicked for me. I saw that there was an opportunity to leave the retail management job I hated but still be able to do the thing I loved most — helping people.
I went on to lose 80 lbs. and became certified through the International Sports Sciences Association as a Certified Fitness Trainer in 2011.
None of us can achieve success without some help along the way. Was there a particular person who you feel gave you the most help or encouragement to be who you are today? Can you share a story about that?
Yeah, I’ve been really blessed in this area. Obviously, Rob, who I just mentioned. Over the years I’ve also had opportunities to learn from or directly work with some of the top people in fitness, nutrition, and public speaking.
Now, I have to slightly adjust your question here so I don’t get myself into trouble because I have two people who are both really important in my life. First, my wife, Marclyn. Every time I’ve wanted to go after something in life, she has fully supported me. I remember there being a time that my business really was struggling as I had difficulty finding clients. I was ready to give up on my dream, and had it not been for her support, I probably would have.
The second person would be my mom. She raised me on her own after my dad passed when I was just 11 years old. One memory that sticks out was when I brought home a report card full of C’s and D’s in 4th grade. I remember thinking the whole bus ride home “I’ll be lucky if I am allowed out of the house all summer.” Much to my surprise, my mom didn’t even get mad, she just said “Stephen, you could make straight A’s if you wanted to. You just don’t want to!” She was right, and from 5th grade and beyond I was an honor roll student.
Can you share the funniest or most interesting mistake that occurred to you in the course of your career? What lesson or take away did you learn from that?
The one that will always stick with me happened a few years into my career. I was training a father and his 15 year old son. Both of them were really overweight — the dad weighed over 400 lbs. and his son was over 300. I was really excited about the opportunity to help them get healthy.
At first, things were great. They showed up, worked hard, and were getting results. Then out of nowhere, they start missing sessions because the dad was stuck at work. He was a high-level executive, and at the time I didn’t really have the understanding or the tools to help him balance his work and health.
I made the mistake a lot of trainers make — I tried playing the accountability card. It seemed the harder I pushed, the more he pulled away until about two weeks before Christmas he sent me an email saying he would be taking a couple of months off — I never saw him again.
At that moment, I thought I was doing exactly what he hired me to do, and my thoughts alternated between blaming him for not being serious enough and blaming myself for failing to hold him accountable.
That experience is what led me to learn more about behavior change and how more than food and exercise impact our ability to get healthy. In retrospect, it’s easy for me to see that I was approaching the situation all wrong. He had a busy, stressful job and me trying to hold him accountable was adding to his stress, not reducing it.
Can you share your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Why does that resonate with you so much?
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” The quote is often attributed to Aristotle but it’s actually from Will Durant, who was trying to summarize Aristotle.
The reason the quote resonates with me is because it reminds me that I don’t need to be naturally talented or have tons of built in advantages — I just need to consistently show up and put in the work.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
Earlier this year I changed all of my branding over from fitness and nutrition only to Unshakable Habits. It’s really a part of my evolution as a coach and my understanding of how to help people change. Fitness and nutrition will always be at the core of what I’m doing but I realize that health is bigger than those two areas. With Unshakable Habits we focus on things such as stress management, productivity, sleep/recovery, mental and emotional health in addition to fitness and nutrition.
As part of the rebranding I just launched a new podcast called the Unshakable Habits podcast where I bring in people who have overcome adversity and created consistent success. They share their stories, insights and knowledge and we share with the audience how they can take and apply it to their own lives.
It’s my hope that this new branding and the podcast will contribute to the shift we see happening in the fitness and wellness industry away from extreme diets and toward more sustainable approaches. That’s why my tag line is “unsustainable to unshakable.”
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly let us know why you are an authority in the fitness and wellness field?
I feel like it starts with my own transformation. Having lost 80 lbs. I understand the struggles that people deal with before, during, and after that kind of transformation. I realized early in my career that understanding those struggles alone wasn’t enough, and that is why I’ve spent more than a decade in this industry constantly growing and learning.
In 2011 I earned my very first certification as a Certified Fitness Trainer through the ISSA (International Sports Sciences Association). A few years later I recognized the importance of nutrition, and now I hold two nutrition specializations — Precision Nutrition Level 1 and ISSA Sports Nutritionist. In 2017, I also became one of the first Certified Online Trainers in the world through the Online Trainer Academy. The last few years have taught me that getting results for people is more than just fitness and nutrition, which is why I also have two additional specializations focused on behavioral change — ISSA Transformation Specialist and Precision Nutrition Level 2 Master coach. Finally, because of my commitment to growth I was just recognized by the ISSA as an Elite Trainer.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about achieving a healthy body weight. Let’s begin with a basic definition of terms so that all of us are on the same page. How do you define a “Healthy Body Weight”?
I define a healthy body weight as a weight where you don’t feel held back by your weight,, have energy, and have a healthy relationship with food.
I think we get too caught up in “healthy” being a certain body type. However, if we look at sports, we see athletes of all different shapes and sizes performing at a high level.
How can an individual learn what is a healthy body weight for them? How can we discern what is “too overweight” or what is “too underweight”?
I think most of us know intuitively if we’re “too overweight.” If you’re not sure, a few good starting point questions are: How do you feel at your current weight? Do you lack energy? Can you move without much pain? Are you sick a lot? What does your blood work say about your overall health?
Being “too underweight” on the other hand might not be as obvious. Again, we can ask some of the same questions: How do you feel at your current weight? Do you lack energy? Are you sick a lot? Do you have an unhealthy relationship with food? Do you feel like you lack strength?
These are all indications that you may not be at a healthy weight. Of course, these could also be signs of other things so I recommend always working with your doctor.
This might be intuitive to you, but it will be instructive to expressly articulate this. Can you please share a few reasons why being over your healthy body weight, or under your healthy body weight, can be harmful to your health?
If someone is underweight, they are prone to malnutrition, vitamin deficiencies, low energy, and a weaker immune system. If someone is overweight, they are going to be at a higher risk for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, and stroke. In addition, they are more likely to have issues with their joints and also have lower energy levels.
In contrast, can you help articulate a few examples of how a person who achieves and maintains a healthy body weight will feel better and perform better in many areas of life?
When you achieve and maintain a healthy body weight, that gives you energy and confidence. You’re happier with the person you see in the mirror, your clothes fit better, you’re more productive, and you don’t feel held back by your weight or restrictive food rules.
Ok, fantastic. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share your “5 Things You Need To Do To Achieve a Healthy Body Weight And Keep It Permanently?”. If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
- Start thinking like your future self.
When we think of ourselves in a temporary situation, like dieting or weight loss, there’s always going to be the temptation to go back to something. On the other hand, if we view our decisions as permanent, that sets us up for long-term success. For example, if you see yourself as someone who chooses healthier options, most of the time, while not depriving yourself it empowers you and makes sticking with your habits easier.
2. Focus on actions, not outcomes
When I lost 80 pounds, I didn’t have a goal weight in mind. My focus was on getting to the gym, working out consistently, and making better food choices. What if I had set a goal to lose 100 pounds, but I only had 80 pounds to lose? Chances are, it would have led to me doing some pretty unhealthy things to try to lose that last 20 pounds. It probably would have made me not really appreciate the accomplishment of losing 80 pounds. The truth is we very rarely have full control over the outcome, but we do have control over our actions.
3. Never turn the dial to zero.
The key to sticking with your habits is to be consistent. It is easy to fall into the all- or- nothing mindset but that approach never wins in the long run. Instead, imagine you have a dial with different levels of physical activity that goes from 0–10. Zero would be doing nothing and 10 might be doing a full 60-minute strength training session. When you think of it this way, it gives you a lot of flexibility rather than all-or-nothing. Maybe when life gets really crazy you turn the dial to “1” which might be doing 5 push-ups. Sure, doing 5 push-ups won’t get you in great shape but it will help you maintain your identity as someone who is active.
4. Recognize that fitness and nutrition are only part of the equation
While exercise and nutrition are important factors to achieving a healthy body weight and keeping it permanently, they are not the only factors. It’s not uncommon for me to see clients hit weight loss plateaus that coincide with an increase in their stress levels at work. Ultimately, weight loss and weight gain come down to calories in vs calories out but our stress levels, quality of recovery, and many external factors can affect how those calories impact our weight.
5. Maintain a healthy relationship with food
For me, this is the most important. Food is not just fuel. It’s often a big part of celebrations, holidays, and special moments with those we care about. Food is an integral part of our lives, and we all need to have the flexibility to be able to enjoy the foods that we love, in moderation of course.
Consider what happens when you diet. On a positive note, you likely add more healthy foods to your diet. However, you probably tend to go all-in on cutting out treats and foods you love but are considered unhealthy. That creates cravings that make it hard to stick with your diet. Even if you do resist those cravings, at some point you will want to add those foods back in which is likely going to lead to regaining the weight.
If instead, you make healthier choices 80–90% of the time and get results while still having those foods be part of your diet, you set yourself up for long-term success.
The emphasis of this series is how to maintain an ideal weight for the long term, and how to avoid yo-yo dieting. Specifically, how does a person who loses weight maintain that permanently and sustainably?
The best advice I can give someone is to not diet. Diets usually mean cutting something out of our lives temporarily. The problem with this is that if you don’t learn how to lose the weight with that food in your diet, how can you possibly add it back in and keep the weight off?
That is actually a huge part of why I was able to keep the weight off. I never stopped eating tacos, hamburgers, and pizza — I just learned what a proper portion looked like and started making my own so I had control over the ingredients.
What are a few of the most common mistakes you have seen people make when they try to lose weight? What errors cause people to just snap back to their old unhealthy selves? What can they do to avoid those mistakes?
Trying to do too much at once, making it harder than it needs to be, and trying to do it alone are the big mistakes I see over and over again that lead to people going back to their old habits.
We all live busy lives these days. Yet when we decide to lose weight we have a tendency to try doing everything at once. For example, you might decide that you’re going to prepare meals for the entire week on Sunday and then wake up 2 hours early on Monday for a workout before anybody gets up. It may feel like a good idea but if you’re not doing any of that right now you’re more likely to end up overwhelmed. Oh yeah, let’s not forget that on top of that overwhelm you’re also going to completely cut out your favorite foods because that diet plan you’re following told you that you can’t have carbs. It’s no wonder we struggle but it’s not our fault. It’s the way we were taught.
How do we take all this information and integrate it into our actual lives? The truth is that we all know that it’s important to eat more vegetables, eat less sugar, etc. But while we know it intellectually, it’s difficult to put it into practice and make it a part of our daily habits. In your opinion what are the main blockages that prevent us from taking the information that we all know, and integrating it into our lives?
One of my mentors, Dr. John Berardi (co-founder of Precision Nutrition) taught me that all behaviors are either an expression of the person we see ourselves as or an attempt to solve a problem.
The reality is that sugar may be our way of coping with stress or the way we connect with friends and family. It will be difficult even to cut back on that sugar if we don’t find other healthier but equally rewarding ways to spend quality time with family or deal with stress.
My advice, start small, smaller than you think you should and slowly build your new habits into your busy life. They’ll be much easier to stick with that way. Also, don’t go it alone. We all have blind spots when it comes to our habits. Whether it’s a trusted friend or you hire a coach, you’ll have better long-term results if you have someone who can show you where the blind spots exist.
On the flip side, how can we prevent these ideas from just being trapped in a rarified, theoretical ideal that never gets put into practice? What specific habits can we develop to take these intellectual ideas and integrate them into our normal routine?
I actually teach all of my clients the Unshakable Habits Framework for this. It starts by creating a vision of the behaviors you want “future you” to take. For example, for weight loss, maybe you see “future you” as someone who takes a daily walk or cooks meals at home.
Once you have that vision and those behaviors, we go to the next step — developing the skills that you need for that behavior. Going back to the previous example, if you see yourself cooking all your meals but you don’t have any cooking skills — then you’ll need to develop some.
Finally, once we know which skills we need to develop, we create consistent actions to help build those skills. In our cooking example, maybe you take some cooking classes or try out some new recipes.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I’d love to inspire people to slow down. Productivity should be a way to get things done quicker so we have more time for what we enjoy, not a way to do more work — unless doing more work is what you enjoy.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
There is definitely more than one, but the guy that stands out the most is San Francisco 49ers Tight End, George Kittle. The Niners are my favorite team and he’s my favorite player on the team right now. He just comes across as the type of guy I could hang out with and talk about sports and old school wrestling.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Website: UnshakableHabits.com
Podcast: UnshakableHabits.com/podcast
YouTube: UnshakableHabits.com/youtube
Linkedin: UnshakableHabits.com/linkedin
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.
