Taking the Leap: Perle Noire of Healing Through Seduction and The House of Noire On How To Learn To Believe In Yourself
An Interview With Savio P. Clemente
Give yourself time to not only dream but put together a plan of action: And once you’re stuck, take advantage of all the free resources we have online or join a community to process your dreams.
Starting something new is scary. Learning to believe in yourself can be a critical precursor to starting a new initiative. Why is it so important to learn to believe in yourself? How can someone work on gaining these skills? In this interview series, we are talking to business leaders, authors, writers, coaches, medical professionals, teachers, to share empowering insights about “How To Learn To Believe In Yourself.” As a part of this series we had the pleasure of interviewing Perle Noire.
Perle Noire is a celebrated figure in the world of burlesque, renowned as both an icon and the visionary founder of the esteemed House of Noire. As the driving force behind the award-winning burlesque company and Healing Through Seduction, Perle empowers individuals to embrace their sensuality and unlock their full potential through the transformative art of burlesque. With her expertise and passion, she continues to inspire countless performers and enthusiasts worldwide.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Hey there! Thanks for having me! Let’s rewind the clock and dive into the rollercoaster ride that was my childhood. Picture this: a wild adventure filled with resilience, wrapped in a bundle of darkness that couldn’t snuff out my inner light. Yep, that was me, growing up in Oak Cliff in Dallas, TX, where ‘rough around the edges’ was the norm.
I was that quirky kid who found solace in late-night chats with the moon, dreaming of waltzing among the stars. But let’s be real, I was also the oddball cheerleader in high school. How does one manage that? Beats me, but hey, it’s all part of the charm, right?
Despite being the target of bullies and the black sheep of the cheer squad, there was one thing I always knew: I had talent. Sure, it might’ve been hidden beneath layers of awkwardness and self-doubt, but it was there, waiting to be unleashed.
My childhood taught me a valuable lesson: in a world where fitting in seemed like the ultimate goal, standing out was my superpower. Each challenge, each setback only fueled my determination to prove that being different was something to be celebrated, not shunned.
So yeah, my childhood may have been a wild ride, but it was also the greatest teacher I’ve ever had. And now, armed with the lessons I’ve learned along the way, I’m ready to pay it forward and help others tap into their own inner brilliance. Let’s do this!
What or who inspired you to pursue your career? We’d love to hear the story.
My goodness, where do I start? When I close my eyes and reminisce, I have many women to thank who are superstars like Jasmine Guy, Tisha Campbell, Tichina Arnold, Nell Carter, Robin Givens, Whoopi Goldberg, and so many more. But I was also inspired by my aunt Arlene, who was the most glamorous woman I had ever seen. She showed me that glamour belonged to all women, not just white women with blue eyes. My mother was also very glamorous in her day and was a track star. When I entered high school, all of the coaches spoke so highly of her from the 70s when she attended South Oak Cliff High School. I told myself I also wanted to leave that type of legacy and impact on people.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I can laugh about this mistake now, but of course, I was crying before writing you today. I learned that it’s okay to believe in yourself, but you can believe too quickly. Let me explain. I started working with my business coach, Rachel Rodgers, and in her club, she taught me how to hire my first part-time assistant. I was so excited that I made a major mistake that many people make when they’re deep in their fantasy. I was hard-headed and got ahead of myself. She said to hire one person, but I decided to hire five! DOH! I quickly found myself overwhelmed with payroll I had no business handling, and I found myself pretending I was Dominique Deveraux from Dynasty before it was my time. Is it funny? A little. I chuckle because I really was in my fantasy, which is a beautiful thing. However, a proper plan of action is necessary in reality and our fantasies. The lesson I learned was to stay present in your accomplishments and master each step. I learned to treat each moment in my burlesque company the same way I treated each moment during a burlesque performance.
What are some of the most interesting or exciting projects you are working on now? How do you think that might help people?
I am currently working on a burlesque performance ritual for the Lincoln Center! One of my students suggested that my companies, The House of Noire and Healing Through Seduction, host burlesque events there. I have started a burlesque revolution, and this revolution helps mothers, creatives, artists, light workers, therapists, and healers return to their bodies and reclaim their sensuality. This is helpful because the people who are raising the next generation and offering solace during times of trouble come to me to recharge and renew their faith in humanity. They come to my burlesque workshops to release their own trauma so that they can be of service. I am proud to be a vessel of light through the art of burlesque.
OK, thank you for all of that. Let’s now shift to the core focus of our interview. This will be intuitive to you but it will be helpful to spell this out directly. Can you help explain a few reasons why it is so important to believe in yourself? Can you share a story or give some examples?
Oh, yes! I have a story to tell. The first and only time I was booked to perform in Spain was a powerful lesson in belief. I popped my groin muscle live during the show while doing a middle split because I allowed the negative chatter of people who weren’t hired and never found their way to Spain to take over my mind and belief in my creative expression. Here’s my story:
I was hired to perform burlesque in Spain at the Teatro Circo show, and I was so proud of myself. I was hired to perform my Josephine Baker tribute, and that act was a barefoot act. Although I was hired and the director didn’t ask me to change anything, I listened to the critiques of people who weren’t qualified to get the job, telling me I should wear shoes to be considered a true burlesque performer. Bless my heart. The most famous burlesque performer of all time danced barefoot, and I was paying homage to her. Even some of the more mainstream performers such as Lily St. Cyr performed barefoot, but I forgot to believe in myself. As a result, I popped a muscle on the second day I arrived. I had to lay in bed every day for the next 30 days while getting treatment each night before my performances.
Lesson learned: Never take advice from people who haven’t achieved what you have, and always remember to trust the people who hired you versus the people who are jealous of you because they didn’t get the job
What exactly does it mean to believe in yourself? Can I believe that I can be a great artist even though I’m not very talented? Can I believe I can be a gold medal Olympic even if I’m not athletic? Can you please explain what you mean?
I think believing in yourself is about offering yourself kindness and holding yourself accountable for your mental and emotional well-being. Most of the time, we don’t believe in ourselves because we don’t trust ourselves to love ourselves. We are waiting on emotional surrogates to validate our existence. We’re waiting on permission from other people instead of giving ourselves permission.
You can be whatever you want to be! And it’s valid even if you don’t get paid. That’s the other part. I think people are scared to believe in themselves unless there’s a paycheck attached. That goes back to your self-worth and self-love journey. If you start focusing on how you feel versus how many people stroke your ego, I am sure you will see that you are capable of believing in yourself more and more each day. Stroke your own ego on a daily basis. Pow!
Was there a time when you did not believe in yourself? How did this impact your choices?
Yes, there were moments, even moments before our interview, and that’s the way it should be. Each time I allow my voice to be heard, my inner child and diva remember all the times I was silenced. The trauma starts to take over, but then I dance with the fear. Believing in yourself is a journey, and I’ve never heard of a journey that didn’t involve peaks and valleys. You’re supposed to stumble from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you don’t believe in yourself.
I think the belief comes in once you surrender and release the idea that you’re supposed to be or look perfect while believing in yourself. And most importantly, I believe in allowing my fear to have a voice. I believe my fear is connected to my inner child, so I want to be the adult she needed as a child. My empathy for my inner child has impacted how I understand the concept of belief.
Believing in yourself isn’t about the picture of perfection. It’s about allowing yourself the vulnerability not to judge yourself while you’re learning new ways to love and trust yourself on a deeper level. You’ve never been here before. Give yourself grace, and the belief in yourself will follow.
At what point did you realize that in order to get to the next level, it would be necessary to build up your belief in yourself? Can you share the story with us?
I realized I had to believe in myself when I decided to stop waiting on an organization called the Burlesque Hall of Fame to give me a queen title. Did you know burlesque has its own hall of fame? For years, I competed year after year, and I’m actually one of the most decorated performers at BHOF. However, I never won the queen title. I trained many performers who won the title, but it wasn’t in the stars for me.
The BHOF is our special hall of fame, but after competing for the organization and having some of my peers tell me I was a queen, I decided to believe in myself and stop waiting on people to give me a title and status that my ancestors and thousands of people already gave me.
One day, I decided to stop wasting my potential and return to the little girl from the hood who knew better than to doubt herself. So, I created my own pageant! I made history right before the world shut down for the pandemic by creating the first burlesque pageant specifically to uplift and highlight Black and Brown performers worldwide. I knew I would never make it into their hall of fame, so I created my own. I not only had enough belief in myself to build my own table, but I had enough belief to teach others how to build their table as well.
What are your top 5 strategies that will help someone learn to believe in themselves?
1 . Look up the definition of belief: It isn’t the same as perfection. In order to believe in yourself consistently, you have to release the lies you were told or told yourself about believing in yourself.
Example: When I started my journey of self-belief, I took the time to understand what belief truly meant. I realized it wasn’t about being flawless but about trusting myself despite imperfections. This shift in perspective allowed me to let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace self-belief as a journey, not a destination.
2 . Start talking to yourself out loud when you doubt yourself or your dreams: You don’t want the doubt or shame for believing in yourself to stay in your body. I talk to my doubt all the time. I allow the fear to have a voice and then I comfort the fear with the truth. That’s how I allow myself to believe in myself. I start with my private thoughts and conversations before I focus on outside forces.
Example: Whenever doubt creeps in, I engage in open dialogue with myself. I acknowledge my fears and insecurities out loud, allowing them to surface without judgment. Then, I counter these doubts with affirmations and truths, reassuring myself of my capabilities and worthiness.
3 . Honor your boundaries more often: Honoring your boundaries is about YOU changing your behavior and not the other way around. You know you shouldn’t share your dreams with some people, but you want the validation, so you harm yourself. You don’t believe in yourself because you keep telling the wrong people to believe in you instead of believing in yourself.
Example: I learned the importance of setting boundaries, especially when it comes to sharing my dreams and aspirations. Instead of seeking validation from others, I prioritize my own well-being by protecting my dreams and sharing them only with those who genuinely support and uplift me.
4 . Give yourself time to not only dream but put together a plan of action: And once you’re stuck, take advantage of all the free resources we have online or join a community to process your dreams.
Example: I realized that belief in oneself goes hand in hand with taking concrete steps towards achieving goals. I dedicated time to not only envisioning my dreams but also creating actionable plans to turn them into reality. Whenever I faced obstacles, I sought support from online resources and communities, leveraging their guidance and encouragement to keep moving forward.
5 . Utilize dance therapy as a powerful resource: I have a therapist that I discuss my business endeavors with, and I dance with her so the trauma of everyday life will not live in my body.
Example: Dance therapy has been transformative in my journey of self-belief. By combining movement with therapy sessions, I release pent-up emotions and stress, allowing myself to move through life with a sense of lightness and resilience. Dancing has become not only a form of self-expression but also a source of healing and empowerment.
Conversely, how can one stop the negative stream of self-criticism that often accompanies us as we try to grow?
I think we should honor the natural rhythm of our mind the same way we honor the natural rhythm of our body. Each day our body releases toxins, and we must nourish our body with food several times a day. How arrogant of us to believe our mind won’t have the same process or need for constant nourishment.
The goal isn’t to stop the negative stream of self-criticism. The goal is to release the shame and guilt we feel when those thoughts enter our mind. Once we honor that it’s natural to have negative or toxic thoughts, we can implement the art of self-seduction to cope. Some may call it affirmations or mantras. I call it self-seduction.
When we are seduced by others, we allow them to share their moments where they don’t believe in themselves. We fall in love with them due to their vulnerability. We can offer ourselves the same compassion and kindness. That will help us move past the moment of disbelief to inspiration. Then we can believe in ourselves and the process.
Are there any misconceptions about self-confidence and believing in oneself that you would like to dispel?
Yes! I think the biggest misconception about self-confidence and believing in oneself is that it’s supposed to be choreographed. Meaning, it’s supposed to look a certain way, and it always goes back to perfection. Your life isn’t a movie, and your sexiness, confidence, joy, pain, resilience can’t be choreographed, sugar.
If you want to be confident, start by allowing yourself to feel all of your emotions and celebrate every single chapter in your autobiography with yourself more often. Then, you can release your own shame and guilt for existing. Next, you can have the confidence to be yourself with others.
What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with imposter syndrome?
I have come to realize that imposter syndrome is a luxury. It’s usually a result of your passion, even if it’s a trauma response. Feeling like an imposter is a luxury many can’t experience. They never have an opportunity to be too afraid to evolve. Their lives don’t give room to dream or try new things.
Just remember this: If your knees are shaking while you raise your arm beautifully, you still raised your arm. How can you be an imposter when you got the job done? Bottom line is we need to stop telling ourselves to be ashamed of fear or being a student. That’s the root of the fear of feeling like an imposter. You belong in the room, darling.
Ok, we are nearly done. You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good for the greatest number of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger.
I’m absolutely buzzing with excitement to spearhead a burlesque revolution with my burlesque daughters from The House of Noire through my Healing Through Seduction workshops. These workshops are more than just dance classes; they’re transformative journeys that empower individuals worldwide to embrace vulnerability and authenticity as vital parts of their healing and wellness journey. My vision is to see this movement ripple out, touching the lives of countless others, urging them to tap into their inner strength and reclaim their true selves. It’s a profound honor to share my passion and purpose with you today. Together, hand in hand, we can ignite positive change on a global scale. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to spread the fire of transformation with you.
We are very blessed that some of the biggest names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we both tag them :-)
I’d be thrilled to have lunch with Oprah Winfrey. Her authenticity and vulnerability have inspired me immensely over the years. I deeply admire her ability to confront fear and stay true to her vision, even in the face of mistakes. Sitting down with her would be an amazing chance to absorb insights from her experiences and gain wisdom on embracing authenticity and resilience.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Yes! Please head over to my website blackburlesquequeen.com and instagram.com/theperlenoire to keep in touch. You can also download my free ebook to stay in touch. Download the ebook here:
https://healingthroughseduction.ck.page/82d7fb7119
Thank you for these really excellent insights, and we greatly appreciate the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success.
Thank you!! I wish the same for you.
About The Interviewer: Savio P. Clemente coaches cancer survivors to overcome the confusion and gain the clarity needed to get busy living in mind, body, and spirit. He inspires health and wellness seekers to find meaning in the “why” and cultivate resilience in their mindset. Savio is a Board Certified Wellness Coach (NBC-HWC, ACC), #1 best-selling author, syndicated columnist, podcaster, stage 3 cancer survivor, and founder of The Human Resolve LLC. He has interviewed notable celebrities and TV personalities and has been featured on Fox News, The Wrap, and has worked with Authority Magazine, Thrive Global, BuzzFeed, Food Network, WW and Bloomberg. Savio has been invited to cover numerous industry events throughout the U.S. and abroad. His mission is to provide clients, listeners, and viewers alike with tangible takeaways on how to lead a truly healthy, wealthy, and wise lifestyle.
