The Hidden Superpower of Every Great Leader: Vanessa R. Pereira On Uncovering the Traits That Separate Good Leaders from Exceptional Ones

SELF WORTH. I remember striving so hard to ‘work on my confidence’ because I really thought that would earn me the level of respect I was seeking from others. Much later in my career, I realized that was a myth–you don’t need to build confidence. Shifting focus to strengthen your self worth automatically gets you there (like jumping on an express train). Confidence is simply a byproduct of the level of worthiness you have for yourself. I had to learn this lesson over and over until I got it. When I started detaching my title / role / position from WHO I am, my self worth muscles expanded. I didn’t feel the need to prove anything–this inadvertently shifted me into a new energetic frequency which lined me up with other leaders who matched this vibration.

What is it that makes certain leaders stand out and achieve extraordinary results? Beyond technical skills and strategic thinking, great leaders often possess hidden superpowers — those intangible traits that set them apart. These traits enable them to inspire others, foster trust, and drive innovation even in challenging environments. As part of this series, we are interviewing Vanessa R. Pereira.

Vanessa Pereira is a certified Soul & Purpose Coach devoted to redefining leadership and success using an inside-out approach. Her motto: Lead from within so you can live with impact.

Specializing in the art of self-leadership, she guides professionals to embrace a conscious, inner-driven approach to leadership and success. She works with those who have a deep desire to prioritize authenticity, intentional living, and create meaningful impact over chasing titles and external markers of success.

Through her mission, she creates space for others to lead themselves with intention and integrity. Her clients make the shift to focus their value and worth based on WHO they are being, not WHAT they do.

As a result of this inner shift, her clients experience transformational breakthroughs in clarity, confidence, and self-worth — empowering them to LEAD with authenticity, INFLUENCE with integrity, and CREATE lasting impact, both personally and professionally.

Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?

I love answering this question because my career (since Day 1) has never followed a linear path.

In high school, when it was time to decide “What do I want to do in my career?”, I had no idea and took a total shot in the dark to pick Business as the path because I literally did not have a strong passion for anything. I chose it because I thought “This seems like a practical way to make money and I think I can make it work”.

I graduated in Marketing (2007) and after a few years working in that field, I wanted to get out–once again not having a passion for anything else. I managed to transition from Marketing roles to Product Development to Project Management by jumping companies, desperately trying to find a role that would be the ‘right fit’.

When I got into Project Management in 2019, that’s when I started to discover and utilize my strengths. The role of Project Manager allowed me to really embody what comes to me naturally and what I love to do–BE IN SERVICE / LEAD / ORGANIZE / MOTIVATE.

3 years into the PM role, I signed up with a Mindset & Leadership Coach (outside of work) because I kept hitting a wall. Even though I was making 6-figures / owned property / well travelled / great connections…there was still a lack of fulfillment and purpose in my life. No matter how much I achieved externally, all I felt was EMPTY internally.

Working with my Coach led me to discover a whole new side of myself I kept hidden for decades. It led me to be the LEADER of my own path. It allowed me to break all the external tethers I had attached to my own value and worth (e.g. titles, accolades, certifications, status, others opinions of me).

In 2023, I made a BOLD declaration in a call with my Coach. I blurted out loud, “I want to be a Coach / Speaker / Workshop Facilitator. I want to support others to rediscover themselves so they can live their purpose too. I want to bottle up this feeling of freedom and share it with everyone. None of this is taught in schools or workplace curriculum, so I’m going to create my own platform to share this with others”.

The work I’ve been doing as a Coach opens up the door to CONSCIOUS LIVING and embodying SELF LEADERSHIP in all areas of life. It’s not just another strategy. It’s a TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE FROM WITHIN to redefine leadership and drive a deeper connection with success.

Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started your career?

The most interesting experiences in my career have always been where people tell me “No” or “You don’t have the credentials to do that” and then the complete opposite happens. When I started doing the inner work, my mindset shifted from scarce thinking to seeing opportunities and abundance everywhere. It was a natural progression and I noticed myself moving through my workday without trying to ‘prove’ anything to others…without needing external validation from my colleagues or senior leaders.

THEN, the results started flowing in:

• I had a manager who did not see my value or worth and used different ways to instill microaggression as a means to keep me playing small. I received a job posting from a colleague and I applied for an internal role to remove myself from the environment which was no longer serving me. This posting received 900 applications, out of which 8 people were interviewed–I nailed the interview! It was the company policy that my reference had to be my previous manager and that person chose to give the hiring manager a ‘negative reference’ about me. The hiring manager had a high degree of emotional intelligence and told me they selected me because of my mindset, positive attitude, and how I show up outside of work (they scanned my LinkedIn). Focus on your intention and the rest will follow.
• 2 years ago, a seasoned coach I met at a networking event gave me unsolicited advice that I ‘need to have my certification’ in order to coach clients (which is factually incorrect). I listened to her, smiled, walked away, and threw what she said in the trash because I knew it was coming from a place of her own limitations. My first client slid into my inbox while I was vacationing in Costa Rica. They said they chose me because of the content and personal growth experiences I share on LinkedIn. We worked together for 3 months and my client was blown away by their own transformation in such a short period.
• Additionally, around the same time I was asked to facilitate 2 workshops for kids without having prior experience or certifications, and I got paid for it (without asking). The organizing host shared that my “visualization exercise and vision board workshop inspired students to tap into their imaginations and envision a positive future for themselves”. There will be lots of people who give you advice, it’s up to you to strengthen your DISCERNMENT SKILLS to know what to take in vs. what to throw away.

My learning (and reminder for all readers) from these experiences and many more that I’ve lived through, is that WHO you are being trumps WHAT credentials you have on paper.

The PERCEPTION you have of yourself trumps the perception others have of you. If we continue to allow others to dictate how we ‘should / shouldn’t’ do things, we will continue to limit our own greatness.

What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?

What stands out is the vulnerability and authenticity I bring into every room. This is not something I learned how to do from a textbook or course (not even through my coaching certification). This WAY OF BEING stems from my own lived experiences and having to drop the heavy weight I was carrying around for my own self judgement, shame and guilt.

After the FIRST story I shared publicly (about the lessons I learned following my Dad’s passing), it became apparent that as humans, we crave this level of genuine raw connection. Sharing our personal stories is the foundation to build a community.

It’s been 5 years since I started documenting and sharing my journey. My community/colleagues/clients reflected back to me 5 key themes I talk about consistently that really hits home for them:

1. MESSY PROGRESS trumps perfection.
2. DETACHING from specific outcomes brings in more success.
3. It’s not about learning more, it’s about UNLEARNING decades of beliefs and conditioning that no longer serves a purpose.
4. It’s about WHO you are being, not what you are doing.
5. Titles and status are NOT a measure of your worth.

The interactions and conversations with my community reminds me every day that when we PRIORITIZE self leadership from the inside-out, it has a ripple effect on how much we can truly expand in our growth and transform our lives with a deep sense of fulfillment.

You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?

SELF AWARENESS

Our ability to lead others is contingent to the level at which we lead ourselves.

When I began my journey of self discovery, the process allowed me to peel back layer after layer of what I kept hidden inside of me since childhood. It opened up the floodgates to being INTENTIONAL with every move I made (inside and outside of work). I got better at understanding myself beyond the surface. This led me to the realization that purpose is not something you need to ‘find’ or ‘chase’ — purpose lies in WHO you are already. I started using my natural strengths vs. forcing myself to ‘fix a weakness’.

This automatically allowed me to lead from a conscious state of mind and to see others as I see myself.

LEADING FROM WITHIN

We live in a society that pushes the narrative that “You are a leader if….” you have a specific title or level of income or credentials or some form of external marker of success. This formula forces us to believe that we need “that thing on the outside” in order to be considered successful, valued, and worthy.

In my career, I reached all these conventional markers of success and still felt EMPTY on the inside. There was always something ‘missing’ even though on paper I had everything I was told would make me happy.

The inner work shifted everything. I tapped into the genuine side of myself that I often kept hidden because of judgement and others’ opinions. I learned that my SELF WORTH had nothing to do with my achievements–this was a huge A-HA revelation which allowed me to drop the hustle and perfectionism I was using as a means to feel valued.

When I redefined what success and leadership meant for ME, it shifted the energy I brought into the workplace. I spoke with intention, I no longer felt the need to prove myself to anyone, my renewed self drew in like-minded individuals, and I started seeing obstacles as growth opportunities to expand myself.

Embodying the inside-out approach transformed me from feeling empty to having a clear sense of purpose in all areas of my life.

SELF TRUST

I think of self trust as my internal compass/GPS which I use on a daily basis to guide me in my journey.

Throughout my journey (inside and outside of career), I’ve had to learn this lesson over and over until I finally got it — To TRUST from within is to know that whatever decision you make stems from alignment of mind/body/soul.

I used to always ask others for their opinions before I made a decision and 9 times out of 10, I would make my decision based on what they said…sometimes it helped, but a lot of times it didn’t. It felt like I wasn’t being myself…of course because I was literally listening to what others said and convinced myself “Yeah that’s my decision”.

Just like you go to the gym and put in your reps to build muscles, I did the same to BUILD and STRENGTHEN my self trust muscle. I started by picking simple situations at work where I made my own decision without asking anyone for their opinion and I gave myself permission to make mistakes because I knew this required practice. One after another, I leveled up into complex situations where I did seek guidance AND also learned how to use discernment to make my final decision.

This repeated practice allows me to lead from a place that is grounded from within, not from external sources.

Ok, thank you for that. Let’s now jump to the primary focus of our interview. What makes someone exceptional?

You will know when someone is exceptional not because of what they do or how many accolades they achieve. You will know because of how they make you FEEL because of WHO they are being!

Exceptional characteristics are driven from within. Self-awareness is their most valuable asset. They use their inner gifts to connect with others beyond the surface level of technical skillset or conventional markers of success.

When you are in the presence of someone exceptional, you will feel a SHIFT in your own energy. When the conversation or interaction ends, you will leave feeling inspired, motivated, and empowered to bring your gifts to the table.

How do exceptional leaders leverage emotional intelligence to inspire and influence their teams?

Exceptional leaders don’t just bring you to the table, they SEE you for who you are and empower you to BUILD your own table.

Using their own level of emotional intelligence:

1. They tap into SELF-AWARENESS to truly understand the diversity of their team (i.e. taking the time to learn each member’s strengths, uniqueness, learning style, management style, areas of interest, and what lights them up).
2. They INSPIRE by demonstrating how each individual on the team plays a critical role and why that role fits like a puzzle to drive the vision.
3. They understand that everyone is human first, so releasing control to INVITE AUTONOMY is at the forefront of their value system.
4. They prioritize the importance of HIGHLIGHTING SMALL WINS because they themselves embody the daily practice of progress over perfection.
5. They CREATE SPACE to navigate what lies beneath the ‘why’ when their team reacts a certain way (i.e. when emotions present itself, they talk it through vs. diminishing its existence).

What role does humility play in the success of great leaders, and how is it demonstrated in their behavior?

The most exceptional leaders I’ve had the privilege of working with always drew me in with their humility.

• Showboating is not a characteristic they embody. When it comes to 1:1 interactions or group settings, they are calm listeners and only speak when required. Their focus lies more on allowing others to shine, without the need to validate their own value.
• They have an awareness of knowing that they don’t know everything. So they aren’t afraid to say out loud if they don’t have an answer and ask for support when needed. This allows them to connect with others at a more authentic level.
• They are open to receive feedback and actually ASK for it. They see feedback as a gift, full of rich information to help them show up better for themselves and others.
• No matter what title or status they hold, exceptional leaders will not make you feel any less than the authority they hold. They create judgement-free spaces for you to share your opinions and ideas. They take your recommendations seriously and act on those that align with the vision.

How do exceptional leaders navigate difficult conversations and foster open communication in their organizations?

Exceptional leaders lead with love, not ego.

Before entering difficult conversations, they release any resentment, judgement, or bias towards those involved. This allows them to show up in a collaborative state of being vs. give off hostile energy.

They understand it’s not about them or the other person. Their approach is centered around EQUAL ACCOUNTABILITY and ‘How do we solve the problem together?’ vs. playing the blame game.

Exceptional leaders value the importance of psychological safety. They ask open-ended empowering questions to facilitate transparency and dialogue. They are curious to understand at a deeper level and listen intuitively. This approach creates a lot of space for open, honest communication.

They take it seriously to follow through on an action plan and next steps following the conversation.

What makes adaptability a superpower in leadership, and how do the best leaders exemplify it?

Having the ability to ‘flow where the wind takes you’ and adapt to change is an undervalued superpower. You can read about ‘How to be adaptable’ in books or watch all the online videos, but the only way to truly exemplify adaptability is through lived experiences (inside and outside of work) which strengthens our overall resilience.

The best leaders flex their adaptability with teams to help maintain focus on the overall vision, no matter what disruptions may occur. They excel at:

• SETTING INTENTIONS:

Exceptional leaders make intentional moves as a result of a strong sense of self-awareness rooted in their value system. Their decisions are driven from the conscious state of mind.

• REFRAMING LANGUAGE:

Scarcity focused words like “roadblocks / challenges ” can instill fear when shifts occur in an organization. Powerful leaders understand the importance of using empowering language to highlight a different perspective that focuses on “opportunities for growth and expansion”.

• COMMUNICATING TO BUILD TRUST:

They are not afraid to bring vulnerability to the table in order to genuinely connect at a deeper level with their teams. They are clear of the next step, even in times of uncertainty.

• PARTNERSHIP:

Making their teams feel seen / heard / valued is at the forefront for exceptional leaders as they navigate ‘steering the ship during a storm’. They not only listen intuitively to feedback from their teams, but they also utilize diversity of thought and skillset as valuable assets they can leverage.

What are your “Five Traits That Separate Good Leaders from Exceptional Ones”?

What sets apart good vs. exceptional leaders is rooted from within. We think it has to do with external accomplishments such as technical skills / titles / knowledge / certifications / accolades, but the uplevel is found WITHIN. What makes a leader exceptional is found in WHO they are being, not what they do in their role.

Having worked in the corporate environment for 18 years, I’ve had the pleasure of observing and working with a variety of leaders. Many were good. Exceptional though? That’s when the number got smaller.

One thing was clear — HOW I FELT after my interaction with a leader is what distinguished good vs. exceptional. The exceptional ones had an innate ability to shift my entire energy as a result of being in their presence. I would leave the interaction feeling INSPIRED, EMPOWERED, and SEEN.

Discerning exceptional from good is a skill in itself and here’s 5 key traits that stood out for me:

1. SELF WORTH

I remember striving so hard to ‘work on my confidence’ because I really thought that would earn me the level of respect I was seeking from others. Much later in my career, I realized that was a myth–you don’t need to build confidence. Shifting focus to strengthen your self worth automatically gets you there (like jumping on an express train). Confidence is simply a byproduct of the level of worthiness you have for yourself. I had to learn this lesson over and over until I got it. When I started detaching my title / role / position from WHO I am, my self worth muscles expanded. I didn’t feel the need to prove anything–this inadvertently shifted me into a new energetic frequency which lined me up with other leaders who matched this vibration.

2. PLAYFULNESS

This trait is repeatedly found in the ‘best of the best’! Let’s clarify that playfulness goes beyond humour and witty banter. I had one exceptional leader who not only created dedicated time and space for PLAY, but used that as the foundation to generate INNOVATION and CREATIVE THINKING. If we want to ‘think outside the box’, we have to BE outside the box. The more non-work related things we did together, the more productive we were in the workplace. Deep levels of trust and genuine connection expanded our ability to show up in a way that was meaningful and purpose-driven. Nothing felt forced or a one-off. What I loved most is that they PRIORITIZED PLAY with equal importance as the rest of the drivers of performance.

3. AUTHENTICITY

This is a common buzzword that’s being used, but how do you know when a leader is authentic? Good leaders treated me with respect and I generally felt good in their presence. But there was always something missing and I could sense it. I did not feel like I could be my REAL self with them so I always held back.

4. And then I met my FIRST exceptional leader!

From Day 1, my leader had a spark, an infectious energy. I felt calm around them because I realized I like who I am in their presence (I don’t have to wear a mask to hide parts of myself). I could remove the armour of protection and be more of myself, without judgement or shame. What stood out is that they showed up with a deeper level of humanness INSIDE the workplace, which is not as common as we may think. One particular example was when they shared personal thoughts of their fears and how they are navigating it for themselves — it was raw, unscripted, and unconventional…they filled a gap which put them into a totally different category for me.

5. ALLYSHIP

As a Woman of Colour (WOC) who worked in several organizations where representation at leadership levels was non-existent, this trait is what draws a line in the sand from good to exceptional. When I witness my colleagues openly challenging unconscious bias no matter how uncomfortable it is, to me that embodies exceptional leadership. Allyship is not about titles or position in the company. It’s about having the courage to speak up (sometimes in rooms where you’re the only one who looks like you) and consciously influence change at a systemic level. It’s about taking accountability to UNLEARN stereotypes and deeply rooted conditioning.

I remember when I was asked to sit in an interview as a listener and after 4 interviews, I asked the Hiring Manager, “Is there any particular reason why all the candidates are male?”. They did not realize and immediately went back to the drawing board…next thing you know I’m sitting in interviews with a mix of both male and female candidates. The final outcome landed the FIRST BLACK WOMAN on the team.

INTEGRITY

There’s different levels to integrity. Good leaders check off all the boxes on paper (honest, professional, stick to their word). Exceptional leaders take it to the next level because their integrity is driven by who they are on the inside–how they speak / behave / respond is very much tied to their overall value system as a human being. I’ve had the pleasure of working with 4 leaders in my career who taught me (through their leadership style) that integrity is about WHOLENESS. Once again, it was not about their title or position. They showed me what congruence looks like (what they say and who they are is consistent no matter what room they’re in). They had a deep level of self trust, which in turn cascaded trust onto their teams.

How do great leaders balance confidence with vulnerability to create stronger connections with their teams?

Vulnerability is not a weakness and confidence is more than ‘having no fears’.

Both are byproducts of SELF WORTH!

Both flow naturally in leaders with a strong sense of self-worth because their personal value is not tied to their title or position in the company. This was me a couple years ago and once I dropped this attachment, I found myself connecting with my team effortlessly at a deeper level which we as humans crave.

We crave genuine connection.

To truly connect with our teams (no matter if you hold a leadership title or not), consciously focusing on WHO you are being vs. WHAT you do in your specific role will help expedite the process.

What strategies do exceptional leaders use to consistently recognize and nurture talent within their organizations?

What I’ve witnessed in exceptional leaders throughout my career is that they value the importance of recognition using a conscious approach:

Recognition With Intention

If it’s sent over email or messenger, they take the time to go beyond “You’ve worked hard and did a great job”. When you read what is written, you FEEL it! It’s personalized to who you are and clearly articulates what you’re being recognized for.

Celebrating Small Wins

Exceptional leaders don’t wait for the ‘big milestones’ to celebrate themselves and their team. Their awareness is heightened to look for the ‘small wins’ that are often found in the progress vs. the outcome.

You’re Spoken About In Rooms You’re Not In

One of the most rewarding forms of recognition that exceptional leaders innately do is to speak highly of you behind closed doors. They seek opportunities to shine the light on others.

AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP

The best leaders know that productivity is tied to wholeness. Their level of emotional intelligence and intuitive listening allows them to lead in a way where you feel SEEN / HEARD / SAFE to be your most authentic self in the workplace. That’s what keeps you coming back because you want to, not because you have to.

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. :-)

When I shift the energy of ONE soul, I know I have shifted the trajectory of the entire world.

We think doing good needs to be done with the masses all at one time. We think we need to have big teams, social media followers, or a large attendance in order to have impact.

My movement focuses on shifting our way of being to target ONE person–that person is yourself.

We suffer when we place limitations on ourselves. We go through life, not knowing how much we do this on a daily basis. By focusing on the inner work within ourselves first, this has a ripple effect on everyone in our presence. We speak / move / behave differently. It shifts everything around us (our relationship with others, money, inner peace, purpose, freedom–you name it).

This movement is an inner transformation which yields outward success.

The intention is to elevate consciousness for those who are seeking deeper meaning in their life. The mundane rat race no longer fuels us as a collective. But in order to serve others, we need to pour into ourselves first.

We crave connection and dedicated space and time to talk. To let it out. To share our stories and support each other in a deeper way.

We are born to THRIVE, not just survive.

Who’s joining me? :)

How can our readers further follow your work online?

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessarosepereira/

Instagram: @coachwithv

Thank you for the time you spent sharing these fantastic insights. We wish you only continued success in your great work!